This made me smile:"Call it my revulsion of trite sloganeering, but come every New Year somebody always has a “prophetic” rhyming slogan for the coming new year. Come Alive in 2005, Dine With New Wine In 2009. At least the year 2000 gave us a break. What rhymes with thousand but “Cows And…?” In any event, 2003 has clanged a solid 10 on my Weird-O-Meter. To recap life here at SheepTrax central… The biggie would be a near fatal heart attack for yours truly. I asked my Doctor if "Lipitor in 2004" was right for me. He said, Yes! Wow. What may have been harder than surviving a heart attack was surviving the well-intended ministry heaped upon me later. Ministry Survivor tee shirts, anyone? I’m having them printed and available on my website in 2004. “So, with all the misfortune that keeps striking your life, well, we know there must be an open door in your life… somewhere; hummm?” Thanks to the Friends of Job Society who brought this message to me – at the lowest point of my life. Truthfully, if there was an open door, it was probably the refrigerator door and my now renounced obsession with greasy American fast foods. These days I cook Chinese, boycott McDonalds, and feel much better. Better to super size my faith than my bum, I suppose. Where are the people to love on you when you just need to be loved on? If we closed the doors of every church building in the world, shut down the programs, detox our numb souls from our comfortable Christianese subculture, and started concentrating on loving each other, serving each other, and worshipping God together… what a witness to the world it will be. God is warring against the franchise, pre-packaged church system. True discipleship is about life! The Lord of Life wants a people who love Him supremely, passionately, and honestly, and who treat others as graciously and kind as he has treated us. Pew warmers need not apply. The other big news around here is that we launched our tabloid, The Ho Ho Hum Times, in Gisborne, New Zealand. When Jesus prophesied that the Gospel would go to the ends of the earth, from his geographic location, New Zealand is the furthest place on earth from Israel. Funny, but Gisborne, NZ is the first city on the planet to receive the new light of day. It felt like destiny to me… We’re working on an Easter edition which will be available in the USA. Please pray that we can raise the finances to properly launch this evangelistic endeavor. Our 8-page paper is a wittily written retelling of Bible stories in a sort of full color Enquirer format. It is designed to share the Good News about Jesus to a non-churched audience – “non-churched” meaning wonderful, old-fashioned sinners. I will not deplore 2004. Still, a good slogan is catchy. Goodness, there is even an Advertising Slogan Hall of Fame! Imagine little ‘ole me, a future hall of famer… If my wife were to give me a new slogan, it would be: Snore No More In 2004. If my government continues to waste my hard earned tax dollars, my new slogan may be: Bank Offshore in 2004. I won’t even tell you how I had planned to use the rhymes “Gore” and “Constipator” in a 2004 sentence. Suffice to say that my tactful silence on this point is my news year’s gift to you. Maybe: Be His Ambassador in 2004? The Baptists may like that one. Kinda says it all, huh? Those blessed folks are such great soul winners, maybe they will use: Finish The Chore in 2004. Of course, as God has commanded his saints in Revelation 18 to flee Babylon, perhaps I can wax prophetic and demand: Come Out Of The Whore in 2004! You just know that somebody’s gonna do: Time To Soar in 2004! You may substitute the words “Roar, “Mine The Ore,” and “Restore” where appropriate. Perhaps, shades of E.A. Poe, I’ll ignore a rhyme for 2004 and will sloganeer: Nevermore. Happy New Year!"Bryan HuppertsDec 31, 2003 SheepTrax™ is an ezine of humor, insight, and Christian teaching featuring the wit, wisdom and deepthinking of Bryan Hupperts. Bryan is the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles, as well as the book, “A Raven’s Gift.” http://www.sheeptrax.com/html/sheepstore.html
