Family Problems

i have a problem, a dilema. What i want from my brothers and sisters here on SI is to guide me to the word of god to show me how to face this problem... ive prayed about this a lot and i wait on god to show me things from his word.

but i dont find anything special for this in scripture... but im absolutly sure its there somewere. ive find some verses in old testament...but they ended whit stoning...and thats not the way to solve it now days.

my wife, that i love above all things except christ himself. We have differnt backgrounds and culture... we have differnt customs but we are made for eatchother and we are happy togheter. Now the problem is her family , now for you to understand this you must know that she is a gypsy. And they have very strange culture, my wife dont live in it as her mother and family... but the problem is that their culture is very ungodly...they scream , drink , gamble, steal and do all things a christian should not... and in their culture they have some rules that they follow if a relative have a house you can not say no to them visitig, you have to let them stay. since they are "trevelers" they have no house and for a living they steal.. now before i dident have a problem whit all this..but then i got saved and born of god.. and now becuse they have no respect and they do cause so much problems in my house when they are here and so on,

i said they are not welcome anymore, but then my wifes mother said to me and you say you are a christian! you cant do this to us...
i can see the point in what she said but should i let them do what they like in my home? i feel its wrong and then it doesent feel right to "ban" them either.

much thanks for helping me in this
christian

Hi again Christian.

but should i let them do what they like in my home?

Absolutely [b]not[/b]

Paul told Tmothy that a Bishop should be(amongst other things)

vigilant

given to hospitality

one that ruleth well his own house

I think it is reasonable to consider that applies to us all.

You are the spiritual head of your home, under the headship of Christ(see 1Corinthians 11:3). I believe then that you are responsible for setting the boundaries of spiritual/moral protection and conduct for it as well. While it is good to be hospitable, I do not believe God is honored by allowing our guests free reign in our homes if that means they will do ungodly things. The difficulty is striking the proper balance between our personal convictions and thier comfort, in discerning what is over-the-line and what is just something we personally don't care for.

I trust that God will give you wisdom as you seek to be vigilant in guarding against allowing things in, or to be done in, your home that dishonor Him.

I had a similar experience some time back when my wife offered to take in some people who were professing christians that also needed a place to stay. We soon ran into all sorts of troubles with their behavior and I had to start setting boundries fast. Eventually we had to ask them to leave.

I do not believe God is going to leave you in the dark about this brother. Just be strong in courage and seek to please Him first.

With love in Christ,

Chris

Hi there,

It seems like you have a big ordeal to go through. The important thing for you to do is make sure your wife is on the same page as you. Even if she does not agree with you you should still make sure that she trusts your decision and is not going to be angry because of it. I think that you made the right decision to not let them in your home because it is your responsibility to keep your home pure. That does not always mean disallowing unbelievers but it does mean disallowing their practices and if they will inevitably practice and/or promote their practices in your home then you need to put the foot down. I also find it difficult to think of pertinent scriptures however there are those that are at least indirectly related.

"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. 10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. 14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. 16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:9-21

"Be not deceived: evil communications (companionship) corrupt good manners." 1st Cor 15:33

"Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?" 1st Cor 5:6

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 2nd Cor 6:14-18

I would also encourage you to be careful with these verses because we are called to be "lovers of hospitality" (Romans 12:13, 1st Tim 3:2, Titus 1:8, 1st Pet 4:9). You are the head of the home (1st Cor 11:13, Eph 5:23, 1st Tim 3:4) and you must do that which you deem to be best for you family.

I recently had my dad living with me (and he is a Christian) and he was staying with us for quite some time. We live in a trailer so there was not much space for myself, my wife, my two kids and my dad so I had to ask him to leave. He lives in a motorhome now and that's too bad but that is what I deemed to be the best for my family. I saw that my time alone with my family was impeached and so I took the hard road with my dad. You relationship with your God is the most important then your wife then your kids then the rest of your family. I hope that what I said here will help you.

In Christ, Randy.