Is Remarriage Adulterous?

Awhile back I read something a homsexual wrote to a Christian. He said how is it that the Church condemns homosexuality but it condones re-marriage for those who are divorced?

This got me thinking and I read the Scriptures where Christ addresses remarriage:

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32)

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11,12)

(As well: Matthew 19:9, Luke 16:18)

The point that the homosexual posed was this: why is it that Christians think they can be forgiven even if they are living in adultery due to remarriage, yet the homosexual is damned due to his sin? Of course, one is not bound to a husband or wife after they have deceased (1 Corinthians 7:9).

I was reading some of the doctrines from William Seymour posted here on SI and was surprised to read his stance that those who have remarried were to get out of that adulterous relationship and be either be single or be reconciled to their first husband or wife.

My question to all is why is the Church acceptant of re-marriage and the "adultery" one commits due to it? Why do ministers continually marry people over and over again when it is so contrary to the Word of God?

Thanks & God bless

Hi brother Ricky,

I don't know about other organizations, but my fellowship will not issue credentials to a man or woman who has gone through a divorce, unless it occured before their conversion and/or unfaithfulness was the cause. And as a minister, I absolutely WILL NOT marry a couple if they don't fall under one of these two categories - Christian or non. (I've probably just made a few enemies on SI for saying this!)

Brother Paul

As well, I have heard that the grounds for divorce ("fornication") spoken of by Jesus was during the Jewish betrothal (engagement) period only and NOT meant for immorailty after one was married - has anyone else studied on this topic?

As well, I have heard that the grounds for divorce ("fornication") spoken of by Jesus was during the Jewish betrothal (engagement) period only and NOT meant for immorailty after one was married

I don't understand this, Ricky. (I'm not implying that you believe this, dear brother, don't worry! I'm instead trying to figure out how someone could arrive at this strange interpretation!)

When did Jesus specify only during the bethrothal period? Is it because he mentions first fornication and THEN adultery? Does this imply that as long as both husband and wife remained chaste until marriage, any infidelity that occurs AFTER the wedding doesn't count, and is no grounds for divorce? That's absurd, legalistic and completely unfair. It's also very cruel. Now, the woman could cheat on her husband ad infinitum and he could never divorce her according to God's law. If the betrothal period was the proving ground for faithfulness, in ancient cultures like that (and in some middle-eastern places still today), you wouldn't have to worry about a divorce; if the "token of virginity" was not discovered on the wedding night, the husband and elders could simply destroy the woman.

Check this out. The passage seems to be implying that if a woman commits fornication before the wedding, the man can put her away. But if he does put her away, he causes her to commit adultery. How can this be if she's never been married to begin with? Now she's a fornicator AND an adulteress? J.B. Phillips says "...whoever divorces his wife except on the ground of unfaithfulness is MAKING her an adulteress." Verse 32 further says that if she marries again, the man that marries her also commits adultery. I suppose the only recourse in a situation like this is would be to go ahead and marry the woman, so to prevent her from becoming an adulteress? But wouldn't the original husband then be guilty of adultery as well, as another man had already had her?

Brother, I don't know if during the betrothal period in first century Jewish culture, the boy and girl were considered "husband" and "wife". I guess it's worth looking into! I think we're complicating this unecessarily. Go by your gut reaction. A HUSBAND can put his WIFE away if she cheats, and vice-versa. Otherwise, especially in today's promiscuious culture, 95% of ALL marriages (including Christians) can lawfully get divorced at anytime, as most have already fornicated before they met each other.

God bless!

Paul

I was having this same conversation with my brother just yesterday. Neither of us could understand why divorce and remarriage are thought of so lightly. I read somewhere that the divorce rate for professing Christians is 4% higher than the rest of the nation. How sad! Especially when the Bible says that divorce is something the Lord hates. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

I would also like to add that my pastor refused to marry a couple not long ago because one of them had been divorced.

I would also like to add that my pastor refused to marry a couple not long ago because one of them had been divorced.

Amen, brother.

As ministers of the gospel, we are held to a very high standard. If I went around marrying people just for the sake of them telling me "we're in love" and totally disregarded the fact that I'd be ushering both of them into an adulterous affair, I'd be liable for their sin on judgment day! My hands would be stained with their adultery. Plus my relationship with God would be jeopardized here on earth; I would no longer have clean hands and a pure heart, and my entire life would begin to fall apart.

This is why I utterly refuse to bow down to the whims of contemporary Christianity like brother Ricky was talking about, and just wink at divorcees getting unlawfully married within the church. I mean, even preachers are putting away their wives over financial strains or character incompatibilities or whatever. It's hardly ever due to immorality. They just say, "I'm unhappy in this marriage. It's not working out. God understands." It is so wrong. We must hate divorce like God hates it.

My mom and dad got divorced when I was six, and it really messed up my childhood. It was a VERY terrible time, with lawyers and court dates and holiday visitations and everything else. I wouldn't want any precious child to go through what my brother and I did. Man, I totally understand why our Father hates divorce. It destroys and breaks people down and scars them for life - especially the kids. And that the church of Jesus Christ is so nonchalant about it, just shows you how far we've drifted from God.

Any Christian married couple considering divorce should ask themselves these questions:

Has God divorced me?
Would God ever leave me or forsake me?
Does God put up with all of my faults and retake me everytime i come running into His arms?

We've forgotten about God. I believe with my whole heart that the root cause of all sin and worldliness in the Church is due to the fact that we've forgotten God.

"Israel doth not know. My people doth not consider."

Whatever happened to "Art thou bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife" (I Cor. 7:27).

If someone's husband has become sexually abusive, I believe he needs to be handed over to the authorities. But, I would not advise her to remarry after this. I would instead counsel her with the better option of 1 Cor. 7:27, that she may avoid a fresh bondage to the things of the world and the caring of a new husband. Is not God sufficient to meet her and her children's needs? But for many, this is not enough - they want the physical intimacy as well. This is where the flesh comes into play, as Paul warned against the young widows becoming wanton. Mind you, my views on this are not because I cannot exercise forgiveness or understanding toward a divorcee; it is rather because the Bible counsels against remarriage for good reason. If someone wants to get remarried bad enough, they can always find a preacher who will do it for an honorarium. And this preacher will give an account at the judgment. I already have enough on my plate! Why go against Pauline wisdom, when my heart already agrees with 1 Corinthians 7:27?

I'm not saying I have all the perfect answers in scenarios like this, and I understand some cases are very different. This is why us preachers need to exercise such intimacy and communication with God so to hear the instruction of the Holy Spirit in all things. What I type here is only the present condition of my heart and where God has me right now at my level of maturity. I could change next year! The important thing is to always do what I know to be right, and let God judge and change my heart if I'm in error (which I very often am!)

God bless you all!

Brother Paul

To me, the large question is:

If a sinner gets married, divorces, remarries. 10 years down the road wants to get right with God, does he have to divorce the "remarriage" to repent from sin?

I know some believe this is true. For some reason it just doesn't set right with me...

If a sinner gets married, divorces, remarries. 10 years down the road wants to get right with God, does he have to divorce the "remarriage" to repent from sin?

Two wrongs don't make a right. I think this is an instance where the Grace of God applies and the former divorce is washed clean by the blood of Christ.

Hebres 13:5(?) says "He hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee".

The issue has to do with wether or not God will divorce someone. Will He ever? No. Can we divroce Him? Yes (although i don't understand how a true believer would ever do such a thing). Will He ever leave us? No. But we can leave Him (again, i don't see how a true believer would do such a thing).

That is why divorce is so hated by God. Marriage itself is a type of Christ's marriage to the Church, and when a married couple divorces, it is making a mockery of the salvation that God has provided through the Blood of His Son. God will never cast us off if we continue to follow Him. Why should we divorce our spouse if they have been faithful? And even in unfaithfulness "With the Lord there is mercy, and with Him plenteous redemption".

blaspheme the Spirit of grace and I assure you that you will be forsaken, just as His word clearly states

This is true. Just ask King Saul if you have any doubts. Here was an anointed, chosen king who, at one time, even prophesied with the prophets of the Lord God. But how sad 1 Samuel ends! To me, Saul's demise is the most pathetic story in the Bible; even more pathetic than David weeping over Absalom is Samuel weeping over Saul, forsaken by God.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you" is valid only for those who continue to obey God's commandments and walk in the Spirit. Disobedience is considered rebellion, and is equal to witchcraft (I Sam. 15:23). And God doesn't bargain with witches; He kills them (Exodus 22:18). Just look what happened to Saul, God's own 'anointed' and prophetic king.

And Saul answered, "I am sore distressed; for the Phillistines make war against me, and God is departed from me, and answereth me no more..." (I Samuel 28:15).

And she said, "The Phillistimes be upon thee, Samson." And he awoke out of his sleep, and said, "I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself." And he wist not that the Lord was departed from him (Judges 16:20).

I have a question then. This is a real situation. A man and woman were married. the wife is a Christian, the husband is not. they were married over twenty years. there was adultery in the marriage as well as emotional abuse, on the part of the husband for sure. the wife may or may not have committed adultery. The wife left the husband and filed for divorce. She is remarried now to a Christian and is still serving God now.

So in this scenario, where would she be?

If a sinner gets married, divorces, remarries. 10 years down the road wants to get right with God, does he have to divorce the "remarriage" to repent from sin?

This doesnt set right with me either...
Would God break up a family?? Or would He destroy a family??
I can hear the mom saying "sorry kids, I was a sinner, and now I got saved, and I now have to leave you!" God have mercy on someone to tell a family they have to break up!!