My vision..could use some opinions!

Hi folks,

there is something on my heart i'd like to share.
I have a vision, but i am not 100 % sure if its from god.
Maybe you could help me and pray for this.

I am 20 years right now.
Will try to put this all together so that you understand it.
Well, i've posted several times in this forum, mostly prayer
requests. I've been going through a very very dark period
of depression and pain. I'm glad i am still alive.
Still not fit, i am weak, but its getting better and better
and i hope that i am through the worst.
I have been raised in a christian family, my parents were missionaries
in Kongo / Africa.
Well, when i was 14 or 15 i started to run away from god, doing drugs
(marijuana, mushrooms). I broke up school, that was a big mistake.
God didn't leave me there. He went after me.
Then, when i was about 17, i had a bad trip, a horror trip on mushrooms.
Its the opposite from what you want when doing drugs.
There was nothing i can do...i just got to my knees and begged for
forgiveness for running away from god the last years...
Something incredible happened. The Horror was gone.
There was just the awesome grace and presence of god in my room.
Everything i saw was Jesus and what he did on the cross.
Me and my sin didn't count anymore. I knew from this day on that
it was all about Jesus.
There was such joy, i jumped around for hours, i couldn't understand
this grace and joy.
Ok, from then on, my real journey with the lord began.
I began to grow. The problem was, i didn't have a job education (is this the right word?).
I searched for 2 years. A very very hard time, with pressure from all
sides all along the way.
But in this time, a vision started in me.
I prayed a lot about what god wants to do through my life, in which direction
i should head.
One day, when i prayed about this, it was like i heard something speak to my heart:
"Youre gonna build a home for the hurting".
It was so clear in this moment.
Well, time went on and everything seemed hopeless.
My condition got worse and worse.
With no work and perspective. But in this time slowly a burden
in me was created. A burden for people in the same situation.
At the end of this 2 years a depression began to break out.
Then i found work. A true miracle. I am now doing a very hard
education for the job "Zimmerer".
This was a short "push" in me. Something new.
But it was exactly that what i never wanted to do.
So, about 6 months ago, the depression really broke out.
Fear, panic attacks, total confusion, pain, attacks from satan
in which i almost drowned. An absolute miracle im still alive.
Perhaps this is my own fault :) About a year ago, i prayed,
that god should absolutely break me if it was neccesary to use me.

Now i'm broken, desillusioned.
But god spoke. Promises. He wanted me to trust him through this dark
time. This vision constantly grew in me.
Then, about 1 month ago or so, i have been to a christian camp where
god renewed me and gave me new strength.
I came out of this with a crystal clear view of the future.

So, to explain this:
I did drugs. I had no work. I am doing a very hard education now, for 3 years (1 is almost over).

My vision is this: I want to start a little "company" (has something to do with woodworking) where
young people who are caught in drugs and who are unemployed get the chance to learn a job
and are told and taught the gospel.
I want to give them a home where they dont have to live in their old environment.
And that is why i have to do this education now.
Because i have to lead other people exactly the same way i have been going and i am going right now.
I know exactly what this is all about. I know what its like to do drugs. I know what its like
to search for a job for a long period of time. And i know what its like to go back into
work.
Does this make sense?
I got this clear view from the bible, it was all so clear.
But still, i'm so unsure and i don't know if its really the way.
This grew over the last years in me, and i really have a deep burden
for this kind of people. I was one of them.
What i told you is only a short version..many many things happened..
I hope you can get this together, and sorry for my english, i'm german :)

What do you think of this?
Please pray and tell me what you think!

daniel

Wow. God has brought you out of alot brother. All to His glory.

My vision is this: I want to start a little "company" (has something to do with woodworking) where
young people who are caught in drugs and who are unemployed get the chance to learn a job
and are told and taught the gospel.
I want to give them a home where they dont have to live in their old environment.

That is great. If God has burdened your heart for this work, He will provide and bring it to pass. Trust in the Lord, and He'll take care of the rest. Remember, everything we do is for His glory anyway. You'll be in my prayers brother.

God bless you
Proverbs 3:5, 6

Well Daniel,
You certainly are not alone. There are literally millions of young people just like you who need to know of the wonderworking power of the shed blood of Jesus Christ.
I have found that in most cases, depression comes from lack of faith and unrealistic expectations of others. Yes, I know there are those exceptions. But in your case, I do feel that it's the former, the lack of faith. Faith comes by hearing, hearing the Christian, faith's object is the shed blood of Jesus.

1 Cor 1:18 says that the cross (shed blood of Jesus) is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those who are being saved, it is the power of God.

Son, it is the power of God to deliver you from all the results of past sins and mistakes. It's the power to fogive you, to cover all your sins. It's the power to atone for your sins. It's the power to reconcile you back to God. It's the power to save you to the uttermost. It's the power to run the ministry you have a vision for.

May I suggest you read "The Power of the Blood of Christ" by Andrew Murray? It will change your life and put your feet on the Rock to stay.

God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you may ask or think. He once told me that my wildest imagination is far short of the least of His abilities. So be bold, but be in prayer. Seek to be led by the Holy Spirit and don't get out in front of God. Little is much when God is in it. But Much is nothing, if God is not in it. You simply must spend time with Him and ask for discernment to His will and purpose for your life.
Do keep us posted here as to how you progress. May God bless you real good today.

Humbly before Him,

"O"

God didn't leave me there. He went after me.

Me too brother.

Dear Daniel, you are in great company here, amongst many who have been through similar circumstances, yours paralleing my own almost to a frightening similarity.

Does this make sense?

He wanted me to trust him through this dark time

Stay that course brother and be not afraid...

[i]Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.[/i] 1Pe 5:7

Do take up the mention from Greg about Josh, a dear brother and man of God.

Daniel, you have my prayers, this just warmed my heart and brought a great smile to my face ... There is a brighter day ahead, the Lord is good.

Hi,

thank you all for your response.
I am gonna keep you posted, i will right more later, ok?

God bless you
Daniel

Hi,

again me :)
I have a prayer request:
Tonight I have a very very important conversion with my boss about in which direction im heading in my work (long story).
PLease that it works out well and that god leads it.
Thank you!

Daniel

Daniel,

In your first post, you said that you were trying to figure out if it was your own fault for these panic attacks, depression, etc. Well, I would say from experiences of the same kind, it is your own fault. It is your own decision to seek Christ regardless of what the Devil tries to do to you.

You think of yourself as failing, beaten up by Satan, lowly, unrecognized, etc. But what you don't see, is the refining God is doing to you to make you a conquerer in Jesus Christ. Not just a saved individual, but a soldier of the Lord. Not just a result of harvest, but a spiritual laborer.

Anyone who is truly walking with Jesus will taste of the same things He tasted of. Depression, grief, having God allow Satan to buffet you, sorrow, etc. Jesus was a man of sorrows aquainted with grief, and anyone who claims to walk with Him will be also.

My words to you are the same words that encouraged me through similar experiences: hold fast, endure, watch and pray, keep the faith, pray without ceasing. Remember that God always break what He takes. When you are being broken, it merely means that God has accepted you in the next step of service. We change, others change, times change, but He is the same forevermore. We must look to Him for strength. We must feed on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

Your words have encouraged me, I hope that mine have done the same. Continue seeking Him and the work He has set before you.