Dear artemioL,
This is a good question, and for anyone who seeks to be a leader in the Church, a question that person needs to be able to answer easily. If someone were to come to any one of us and said, "How is it that I might be saved?" We should be able to tell them.
Clearly, as Philologos pointed out, being born again is an act of God. When Jesus was quoted as saying in John 3 "You must be born again," His listener, Nicodemus, also struggled with this same question. How is it a person can be born again? Jesus answered in verse 8 (NAS), "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit."
Being "born again" is a work of God, and it is by His choosing, His grace, and His mercy, that a person is born again. We in our own power cannot make it happen for ourselves or for anyone else.
Obviously, this truth presents a little dilemma. If this is true, how can anyone be saved? And why should anyone evangelize, if God is going to pick His favorites anyway?
Though God is soveriegn, and the choice is His, we have been included in this. God seeks us out. But we are left with a question, will we accept Him?
The entire bible is about a relationship between man and God. The Lord of the Heavens seeks to have a loving relationship with us that involves being united as one. God's ultimate purpose for us is to be united as one with us in love, so that He may share Himself with us, and love us. God is love and He seeks to love us. However, we constantly deny His love. We fail to love God, trust in God, believe in God, and have faith in God.
A relationship is one that involves two people coming together. Think of a marriage. Both people have to say "I do." God has already chosen us. He is seeking out every single one of us. He wants to have a relationship with every person. And so, the other part of that is our response. Are we going to accept? If we say "yes", then we can be married to God. If we say "no", then we have to be cast away from God.
In John 3, after Jesus says the above in verse 8, Nicodemus asks, "How can this be?" Jesus continues the discussion.
Are you the teacher of Israel and do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know and testify of what we have seen, and you do not accept our testimony. If I told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven: the Son of Man. As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
At first glance, we might say the answer is simple. Anyone who believes in Jesus is saved. This is true, however, if we were to leave it at that, the question becomes which Jesus?
In the above, the Lord made clear that the Son of Man is the one who descended from Heaven and ascended to Heaven in glory. Jesus was glorified on the cross by giving His sinless life as a sacrifice for all. He was then resurrected to new life and new glory as King. Jesus rules His people in love, not by force. We love Jesus because He died for us. Because of this, we give ourselves to Christ, by which He can transform us, and enter into His Kingdom.
We cannot believe in any Jesus, but specifically the one who descended from Heaven born to a virgin, who was sinless and without sin, who gave His life freely and willingly for many, who died on the cross, and who was raised again on the third day. This is the Son of man and the Son of God. He is both God and man. This is the One in whom we must believe.
Considering the current state of humanity, which many don't understand, we are fallen creatures who have broken our unity with God. We have severed the relationship with God. We have been seperated from Him. We need to realize this seperation firstly. If we don't realize our seperation and need for God, then we are committing blasphemy. We think we are God!! We need to be convicted and humbled. We need to realize that we are bad and God is good. We need to realize that without God, we are nothing. We need God.
This is the first step. We need to repent. That is why Jesus preached heavily, "Repent." We need to seek a change. We need to turn away from our sins.
The next step is being humbled to the point that we not only realize a need for God, but we are willing to accept God for who He is. There are a great many broken people who believe in a God of their own creation, even in the Church. They have shaped Jesus into their image. They are wolves among the sheep.
We must be willing to accept Jesus for who He is, as given by His testimony, the bible. The bible testifies to Christ, and from it we can learn about Him.
Obviously, reading the bible does not make us born again, and does not unite us as one with God. Otherwise, everyone who read the bible and believed it would instantly be saved. Rather, Paul made it quite clear that once we are broken there needs to come a point when we call out to the living Christ, the one who resides in Heaven. I am sure you have heard the infamous scripture Romans 10:13 "WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED." Paul is actually quoting old testament scripture here.(Joel 2:32)
In Romans 10:9, Paul says, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
There was a time when I thought the cross was all that mattered. In 1 Corthians 15 (forget the verse), Paul says that if Christ hasn't been raised we are to be pitied above all men. The cross was indeed important, but it is in the resurrection that we are saved. Notice in the above scripture that Paul does not say, "If you believe Jesus died for your sins, you will be saved." Rather, firstly Paul established that you must believe Jesus is Lord. This means you must believe in more than Jesus dying. You must accept Him as your King and Lord. You must submit unto Him as the authority and ruler of your life.
The worse lie we can ever tell someone is that they will be saved if they believe Jesus died for their sins. This is only a half truth. You have made them believe they have been saved, when they have not. A person must accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. If Jesus has died for their sins, and they believe this, will they also accept Him?
If Jesus truly died for your sins, the proper response is to give yourself to your Savior in gratitude. "Thank you Jesus for dying. Please, let me serve you in gratitude!!" This means, we accept Jesus as Lord.
The next part spoke of in the above scripture is Jesus's ascension. It is vitally important to believe Jesus is raised. Why? Because Jesus is alive. If you don't believe Jesus was raised, then you don't beleive He is alive. However, we need to believe He is raised and living in Heaven. When we call out to Jesus, we are calling out to a real and living God. We are calling out to someone who will come down from Heaven and save us, here and now. This is a real thing, and a real experience.
In addition to this, the resurrection of Jesus is our hope. When we are baptized, we share in the death and resurrection of Jesus. He was the first. We will follow Him. We will experience what He has experienced. Yes, it will hurt. Yes, we will have to die on the cross. Yes, we will suffer. However, our hope is not for this earth. We will one day be changed in the twinkling of an eye.
Lastly, a note about baptism. True baptism is sharing in the death and resurrection of Jesus. This is where we die and are raised again in Spirit. This baptism occurs by doing just as Paul said in Romans 10:9. Being born again is the baptism of the Spirit. Many others will try to make it out as being two seperate events. Do not be fooled.
We all need to be born again. We all need to share in the baptism of Christ. Our Spirit needs to die and be born again. We need a new life in Christ. We need to be united as one with Christ. This is our purpose, to be one with God in love.
Hope this helps,
In Christ,
Blake