A Tale of Three Kings

I've something to say, for anyone who might listen. I mean, why do we have a forum like this on the internet? I need someone to talk to, to bounce things off of, to explore the deep stirrings of my heart with and look at them with, hopefully, objectivity. I've been on such an intense journey with God for the past year, that I haven't had much to say, but obviously, my silence is broken.

You may not believe this, but the Critical Spirit thread has really reached down to something deep inside me, a frustration with our humaness. I'm so sick of thinking. of opinions. of the lowlands of our measly ideas as people. I have a little shihtzu dog who is very quirky. He's always making noises, woohing and looking at us like he has something to say. I tell him, "Brutus, you don't know nothin'." It's just a funny thing I do. My family always laughs.

I think God must look at us, talking, throwing out our so called intellectualism, and be thinking, "You don't know nothin'".

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

My son started school 3 weeks ago. He is in the 5th grade. He has a teacher who is, shall we say, tough. A big, strapping, young man, Mr. Hammell. He's probably 6'4" tall! He looks to be about 30 years old. He's on a mission. His mission seems to be to make all of his students respect him. He's very strict and disciplined. Joseph (my son), has come home every day with bad notes. Joe just has a hard time. He thinks he knows so much. He has grown angry over the three weeks since school started because he thinks Mr. Hammell is too strict, and not fair. Joseph's dad (my husband), has a rule. If you bring home a note less than "green" (which means any note that has to be signed by a parent), you get a spanking. Joseph has gotten a spanking almost every day since school started. He's having a hard time conforming to Mr. Hammels' requirements. He thinks it isn't fair. He doesn't want anymore spankings. He says it isn't "right". When he came home yesterday, he had the worst note yet. He was crying to me. He felt that he knew that his dad would spank him when he got home. He said, "I don't want a spanking." I said, "Well, nobody [i]wants[/i] a spanking." A spanking hurts. It's meant to wound. It is chastisment. It's suffering. I asked Joseph if he thought he could trust God. He said, "what do you mean?" I said, "Can you trust God that, if you get a spanking, that, then, it must be in God's plan for your life? Even if the person who is giving it to you is making a mistake?" He repeated to me again, "But, I don't want a spanking." I said, "What if God wants you to have a spanking? Will you submit to a spanking, even though you think it isn't right?" He cried, "I can't! I just can't when I think it's wrong!"

I was seeing something about our human condition. About suffering. About submission to God. About true brokeness. Does anyone else see this? You might ask, why did she entitle this thread "A Tale of Three Kings". It comes from a book by Eugene Edwards. It's a story about King Saul, King David, and Absolom. It's a story about brokeness and submission to God.

This may sound really crazy, but I have suffered so much in life. I have such a strong will! Joseph comes by it honestly! I have felt so overlooked, like people just don't understand. You remember the comedian, Rodney Dangerfield? He would always say, "I can't get no respect." That's how I've felt. Rejected. Just recently, I realized that I've felt rejected my whole life and it has been very painful. Now, don't you all go trying to minister to my rejection. That's not what this thread is about. But...just recently, when I realized that the painful pain was coming from feelings of rejection, I began to pray and really seek God about it. It just doesn't seem fair that someone should have suffered like this from earliest childhood. God showed me that He was the one who had afflicted me. It was [i]He[/i]who had been with me through it all. He showed me that [i]He[/i] had a purpose in my suffering. To break me. To bring me to a place of despair. To bring me to Himself in total submission. I tell you, this revelation just tore me up! I had an amazing breakthrough in my heart! Maybe you're thinking I'm crazy, but I felt so loved by God! I feel so loved!

In the story, [u]A Tale of Three Kings[/u], David is pursued by Saul, then finally, he is run out of his own kingdom by his son, Absolom. And the picture and point of the book is this: God allowed it all and his purpose was to bring a man (King David) to a place of brokeness and submission to Himself. We are all trying to escape our suffering. We're trying to figure it out. We're struggling to get some respect. We want recognition, affirmation, validation. We're grabbing at Samuel's robe (I Samuel 15:27). Even in our suffering, we're still demanding some similance of honor. We just don't get it. Oh God! Help us get it.

Thankyou so much for this!

Christopher

God showed me that He was the one who had afflicted me. It was He who had been with me through it all. He showed me that He had a purpose in my suffering. To break me. To bring me to a place of despair. To bring me to Himself in total submission. I tell you, this revelation just tore me up! I had an amazing breakthrough in my heart! Maybe you're thinking I'm crazy, but I felt so loved by God! I feel so loved!

Welcome back Spitfire...the heart stirrings you shared are a great encouragement to the soul and yet a mystery that quiets the mind. Who can claim to understand how God stays sovereign in the lives of willful people? Thank you for your wonderful testimony and reminder that He simply is.

O bless our God, ye people, and make the voice of his praise to be heard: Which holdeth our soul in life, and suffereth not our feet to be moved. For thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried. Thou broughtest us into the net; thou laidst affliction upon our loins. Thou hast caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place...Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.

MC

I've something to say, for anyone who might listen.

I've been on such an intense journey with God for the past year, that I haven't had much to say, but obviously, my silence is broken.

I'm so sick of thinking. of opinions. of the lowlands of our measly ideas as people.

I have a little shihtzu dog who is very quirky. He's always making noises, woohing and looking at us like he has something to say…. I think God must look at us, talking, throwing out our so called intellectualism, and be thinking, "You don't know nothin'".

A big, strapping, young man, Mr. Hammell. He's probably 6'4" tall! He looks to be about 30 years old. He's on a mission. His mission seems to be to make all of his students respect him. He's very strict and disciplined.

God is THE HOUND FROM HEAVEN - relentlessly going after our self-destructive ways – even if it takes years.

I said, "Can you trust God that, if you get a spanking, that, then, it must be in God's plan for your life?

I am slowly learning to trust God to keep me together when he breaks me. And for Joseph too - I pray and trust that by now he has had some successful days, and that, he knows God does love him, and so do his parents and teacher.

. … when I realized that the painful pain was coming from feelings of rejection, I began to pray and really seek God about it. It just doesn't seem fair that someone should have suffered like this from earliest childhood. God showed me that He was the one who had afflicted me. It was He who had been with me through it all. He showed me that He had a purpose in my suffering. To break me. To bring me to a place of despair. To bring me to Himself in total submission. I tell you, this revelation just tore me up!

I had an amazing breakthrough in my heart!

Maybe you're thinking I'm crazy, but I felt so loved by God! I feel so loved!

It seems so wrong to attribute our sufferings to God, …When we attribute our sufferings to the devil, we will keep on resisting God.

I am grieved that we so quickly attribute rejecting experiences to the devil or to “enemies”. There is no hope in that viewpoint. There can be no transformation, no victory. Surely that viewpoint is from the devil himself. We just end up fighting against the very One who is trying to help us.

Don’t you think we transfer this faulty thinking into our human relationships? We assume others are rejecting us when they really are not, or we conclude that they are the source of our troubles.

We are all trying to escape our suffering. We're trying to figure it out We're struggling to get some respect. We want recognition, affirmation, validation. We're grabbing at Samuel's robe (I Samuel 15:27). Even in our suffering, we're still demanding some similance of honor. We just don't get it. Oh God! Help us get it.

You may not believe this, but the Critical Spirit thread has really reached down to something deep inside me, a frustration with our humaness.

God bless you Dian, and may he use all that has happened in your life to bring glory to him, and build others in the faith.

Your sister, Diane

I am grieved that we so quickly attribute rejecting experiences to the devil or to “enemies”. There is no hope in that viewpoint. There can be no transformation, no victory. Surely that viewpoint is from the devil himself. We just end up fighting against the very One who is trying to help us.

Well, I don't doubt that satan is behind many of our painful experiences, but I believe, if I'm born again, then satan has to have God's permission to afflict me in [i]any[/i] way. Satan is just God's pawn. For me, I have to believe that every experience I have is meant for my good, because I have a covenant with God who loves me. I don't see how I ever lived any other way. I mean, if I believed that alot of things were not in the will of God which happen to me, then why did they happen? Am I able to squirm out of God's hand? What about other people? You know, the guy who slid into me on a wet road? Or the guy who was drinking and ran over my kid? (I'm using all these examples theoretically) I just can't live believing that I have to walk some tightrope. I mean, I very much want to obey God and live a righteous life, but I might mess up occasionally. God is sovereign and he will finish what he started in me no matter what.

he spoke of the need to repent from FAULTY THINKING. I am becoming more and more convinced that if we repented of our faulty view of God and his ways, then a lot of sins will fall by the wayside. After all, I suspect that most sin is simply a way of trying to escape our suffering - anxiety (fear of rejection) and/or gain some respect.

Problem is, when you have faulty thinking, you don't [i]know[/i] that you have faulty thinking.
That's why it's faulty, because you believe a lie. We need to pray that God would show us himself "as he, in fact, is" as Art Katz would say. Then be prepared for your theology to get rocked! That's what has been happening to me. The God I worship today isn't even the same god I worshipped two years ago! That god was a god concocted from my own human thinking. It wasn't until I started accepting [i]everything[/i] that the Bible portrayed God to be that I began to get lowered down from my high horse enough to see God. You gotta get really low to see him.

After all, I suspect that most sin is simply a way of trying to escape our suffering - anxiety (fear of rejection) and/or gain some respect.

Our suffering is our cross. Our cross is how we get crucified to our self-life. Jesus said, if we want to live, we must die (to the self-life). There's no other way to live. Let me say it again. If you refuse to embrace suffering, you will never live eternally with God. I believe that. Love, Dian

I think, perhaps I should inject that I [i][b]did[/b][/i] have a parent/teacher conference and felt that Mr. Hammell really cares for Joseph. He listened attentively to all I had to say and proposed several things he would do to try and help Jo.

Also, for anyone who felt that my husband is being too harsh, he did [i][b]not[/b][/i] spank Joseph that day. He saw the need for intervention at school. My husband has made huge strides since getting born again on June 18th (Father's Day). He went to an intensive, inner healing workshop about 3 weeks after that and he is like a different person. Many here do not know this, but we have been married for 9 years and this is my second marriage. God has used the pain of living with an unbeliever to kill me. Hammer dead. I could write volumes on this subject, but not here. Suffice it to say that, morning has broken! Praise God Almighty!

morning has broken! Praise God Almighty!

Mr. Hammell really cares for Joseph. He listened attentively to all I had to say and proposed several things he would do to try and help Jo.

My husband has made huge strides since getting born again on June 18th (Father's Day). He went to an intensive, inner healing workshop about 3 weeks after that and he is like a different person.

we have been married for 9 years and this is my second marriage. God has used the pain of living with an unbeliever to kill me.

Diane