Looking for book suggestions for 19yo prodigal

I have a 19 year old prodigal son. He was touched by the Lord and tender toward him when he was younger but has been lured away by the deceitfulness of the world. He has had severe lack of fatherly instruction and guidance. His father has always been in the picture, just not involved or a spiritual leader. He is a HS dropout and pretty much wandering aimlessly at this point and making extremely poor choices for friends. He has had no success in finding employment without a diploma. He has little self respect, discipline or motivation. Although he does not heed most of what I tell him, he is yet respectful towards me. Does not argue, back talk and have the rebellious attitude and tone when he is talking to me. I think he is sympathetic to my motherly concerns but thinks they are unfounded, like I am worrying over nothing in his mind. I continue to lift him up in prayer but don't really know what else to do at this point. I wish I had know about teen challenge program earlier. He does not like to read but since he has no job I am thinking about paying him to read. I'm not sure if he will take me up on it but we'll see. I just don't know what I should have him to read. I want something that will really shed some light and make him think but it needs to be something easy to read and comprehend. Does anyone have any suggestions? I received a free book from a homeschool supply company which gave me the idea. I may start out with it. The book is Created for Work, Practical Insights for Young Men by Bob Schultz. It has really short chapters with questions after each one, which should be really helpful in ensuring he is actually reading it. If anyone has any suggestions, please share them and please pray for my prodigal. His name is Daniel.
All My HopeInChrist

The Lord knows his heart...Maybe he still has to come to the end of himself...this is what it sounds like to me. I ask that you continue to love him. And even though he maybe a high school dropout (as far as the world is concerned), God is concerned with his heart, his soul, not his worldly accomplishments.
I believe that the Word of God is the best thing for him to read...What books in the Bible speak to his heart (you could ask him this)? Just lift up Jesus, love him unconditionally, pray for him, weep for him. Only God can set captives free...a book cannot.
Sister, whatever you do, and I am not saying you are, I believe, it would be best not to "enable him"...there is nothing wrong with tough love - speaking the truth in love and setting healthy boundaries. I think that Daniel may know what He's doing...God gave him freewill...the will to choose between living for God and living for self.
The thief came to steal, kill and destroy...but Christ Jesus came that we may have Life and have it more abundantly...Maybe ask Daniel if he knows this?...and not just in words but in his spirit.
Also, it sounds like there is no fear of God within him. To walk in the fear of the Lord is to walk in wisdom.
Sister, this I know...God's mercies are past me finding out!!! I cannot even imagine how great they are. But if God can set wretched men like me free from the chains of sin and satanic bondage, He can do it for anybody. But...God had to bring me to the end of myself...end of selfish ambition, etc. Kids are pretty smart these days when it comes to kowing what they're doing.
AW Tozer once said in:[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=371]Choices, Deeds & Consequences[/url] that "Nobody ever longed for death...they just choose the path that leads to death...so they've chosen it by series of small choices...not that they look at death and say, "I choose you." But, they looked at all the pleasant ways that lead there and said, "I choose you, and you, and you." Maybe he should listen to this sermon by AW Tozer? Oh by the way...Didn't AW Tozer not finish highschool either?...and look what God did through him, or Saint Peter, but these men humbled themselves and submitted themselves unto their Lord Christ Jesus.
Continue to pray for Daniel sister, and believe God :-D May righteous men rise up and pray for him as well.
God bless you with Himself,
richie

Richie’s post is a platter of encouraging and wise words.

there is nothing wrong with tough love – speaking the truth in love and setting healthy boundaries.

Only God can set captives free...a book cannot.

HopeInChrist, We mamas can feel reluctant to nudge our “babies” out of the nest lest they smash to the ground before spreading their wings. And yet, we are not helping by helping too much. Many-a youth continues to lack motivation because he has a warm bed and yummy hot meals provided for him. Scripture says that a man who does not work should not eat. It’s time for Daniel to move on. Yet he may feel very reluctant to leave, and you may feel reluctant to let him go. On top of that - without a strong male parental leader to emulate and guide, Daniel may have a tough time gaining confidence in his approaching manhood.

Richie’s testimony is most encouraging. It reminds me of the parable of the Prodigal son. An empty stomach can be the very thing God uses to bring Daniel back to himself.

I remember the day I felt that it was time for my son to move out. I prayed that God would find a new place for him, and God provided one within a week – a wonderful Christian family where the Mama ran her home like a military camp – just perfect for my son at the time. My son discovered the home on his own, and also went there on his own accord because he wanted to take a graduating course in their town. I had nothing to do with it.

It is a blessing to see him now quite motivated and responsible. But he has gone through many incredible hardships - financial, health, etc He has diabetes and lost his sight a few years ago. Miraculously, he can see a bit with one eye. God is good to him.

Diane

Thank you Richie and Diane for such encouraging and truthful words. I agree also that the bible would be the best book for Daniel to read but I feel that anything that is instilling Godly wisdom would be of benefit. I still want to do this but am going to offer him some choices, the bible being one of them. I think the gospel of John or proberbs would speak to him most. I thought I may even pick some sermons I have downloaded from here and some videos too. I just see that the only influence in his life right now is media and his friends. There is no light on his path at all that I can see, other than an occasional word from me. I feel that if there is some revelation going in, seeds at least are being planted. I know that only God can set him free and I know that he has to want to be free. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. I just bathe the whole idea in prayer and ask God to direct it and use it to impart to Daniel what He wills.

I would have prefered for Daniel to have thought more of his education but his soul is my main concern too. The only reason I pointed out that he dropped out of school was because I was asking for reading suggestions and I knew that choices would be limited because of his reading skills. My motivation is not to boost is education but to impart Godly wisdom. Other things I mentioned too was just to give a general picture of the situation.

I have tried not to enable Daniel to stay in his pig pen. Really, I have. It is something I have tried to be very consciouos of. I know I have not always been successful. I am very merciful and longsuffering by nature because God has been very merciful and longsuffering with me. Actually, Daniel is very much like me when I was his age. This very fact, gives me hope every day. I have tried to demonstrate tough love because I know it is what he needs but it is a "very" difficult thing for me. I actually kicked him out of the house a couple of years ago and I didn't see him for three months. It wasn't a big dramatic thing. I just told him that I couldn't allow his actions and refusal to abide by house rules to continue because he has two younger sisters watching him and he would either have to follow the rules or leave. He left. I had people calling me (his friends moms), many that I did not even know, telling me how awful I was to kick my son out. They did not seem to understand that he had a choice in the matter and that they were hindering the situation more that helping it. They "put him up" so to speak. He did do better when he returned but things have gradually deteriorated again. I may need to repat that ultimatum but I would really have to know God was directing me to do it. I would not have the strength without that assurance. It was by far the most difficult and heart wrenching time in my life.

"Nobody ever longed for death...they just choose the path that leads to death...

Thanks again
Hope

As difficult as it will be, we parents of older children even, in my experience,can notice that our children continue to read our actions and words and learn from us, unfortunately, mainly the negatives of us.

A relative of mine, now at 19, went to church all his life, one parent was an 'elder' while the other was a sunday school president, was found dealing drugs at 17 and became a gang leader. All the while, this family's life of faith has long been one of the many examples of those who are Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings Christians. While the gods of psychology, materialism and entertainment rule the rest of the week.

I hope this does not come across as a discouraging post, but I think that WE as parents, should perhaps[b] be and live [/b] that godly [i] book [/i], with the guidance from the Holy Book day by day. And when we fail, we address that failure honestly before our children.

Raising children without God's mercy and His Word, and our own repentance and pursuit of holiness before our children's eyes, will be almost an impossible task in bringing up godly children.

No parent can afford any pride over this issue, especially in the world we are living in, where can we run? Our schools? Our 'churches'? But to the ultimate Father through Christ?

It's hard to be chastened by God for our own sinfulness, but it's far more gut-wrenching for God to chasten us with our children in the end.

Be encouraged though, it's never too late to re-write our own book (life) before our children in His mercy and grace for our children follow us on the way to repentance too, praise God!

Please consider this a post written primarily to myself. Thank God for the "prodigality" of us all!

Thanks HopeinChrist, yes, there's hope always in our Lord Jesus !

his soul is my main concern too

I am wondering if this is the time for you to step back and let God teach him as He sees best. This may include a time in the wilderness, apart from the umbrella of his Christian heritage. Perhaps by stepping aside, you are also clearing the way down the road for your husband to become involved and take hold of the burden. Perhaps God would like to use him to impact Daniel.

Daniel is very fortunate to have a praying mom, though he may not appreciate it yet. Of course God will help you establish and maintain well-defined boundaries. The more confidence you have in God’s guidance, the less those other “helpers” will be able to sway you.

As Mamaluk pointed out – the person we work on most is ourselves. We moms declare: “Okay, God, you can have me, and do whatever it takes to make me the way YOU want me to be.”

That is the best gift we can give our children – giving ourselves to God. Our kids are touched by our brokenness - we become broken together. That is the path to the cross.

Diane

If you can...

[i]The Pursuit of God[/i]
A.W. Tozer

I would even pay him to read it.
My prayers added for Daniel.

Hi HopeInChrist...

just don't know what I should have him to read. I want something that will really shed some light and make him think but it needs to be something easy to read and comprehend. Does anyone have any suggestions?

As for suggestions, I like both [i]The Cross and the Switchblade[/i] by David Wilkerson and [i]No Compromise[/i] by Keith Green. Both books are easy to read -- and have made great impacts on individuals with little spiritual background. I gave a professor a copy of [i]No Compromise[/i], and it impacted him in a very positive way. He began attending Bible studies shortly after having read the book.

:-)

*EDIT
[i]No Compromise[/i] is actually the life story of the late Keith Green, and it was written by his widow, Melody Green.

Many years ago when I was about your sons age I watched a late night show out of California called the Joe Pyne Show. He used to get authors on his show that wrote books and would interview them often ridiculing what they had written. Many of the authors wrote junky or deceptive books without facts and as a rebellious teen, I found this entertaining when Joe would bring their folly out in the open.

One night Joe had on a preacher and I thought how great this will be when he tears this hypocrite and his book apart. This didn't happen at all. The preacher was David Wilkerson. The book was the "Cross and the Switchblade". David made an impression and the book did too because I went to the book store and bought it, though it was 5 or 6 years later that I was truly repentant and reborn. I recommend this book even though the time frame of what happened has been years back. David Wilkerson is the man who originally started the organization Teen Challenge that you mentioned.

Dear Sister,

Please don't be too hard on yourself for what Daniel is going through. I should have said this earlier...Please forgive me...And honestly, to me, this sounds like some real spiritual warfare...The fastest way to a person's heart is through their child...Please know that I weep with you sister...If what is happening to you right now was happening to me, I think my heart would feel ripped out.
I did come across a book that is easy to read too by J. Vernon McGee, "A Man After God's Own Heart".
God bless,
richie

These are some great book suggestions. I think The Cross and the Switchblade may even be appealing to Daniel. He really is a great kid, but he is so deceived. God will open his eyes in His time and His way.

Thank you to everyone who is praying for my son.
Hope

I'll let you guys know if he takes me up on my offer. I don't have any of these books except for The Pursuit of God by Tozer. I will check CBD for the others.
Thanks again.
Hope

You can get a free "Cross and Switchblade" [url=http://www.tcfarm.org/frameset.html]Here [/url]

Just click on the book.

Blessings to you and Daniel!

Diane

Dear HopeInChrist,
The Sunday School teachers for the young adult class at my church have a son. He was brought up in church, then went to the world. His mother would just pray for him, but she let him live his life. Eventually God brought him to the place where only He could help him. That son is servint the Lord, now married to a Christian girl and part of the Worship team on our church. He is on fire to reach the lost for Christ. He witnesses to people all the time, one of which is my brother who isn't a believer.

God is Faithful! Just keep praying and loving him, the Holy Spirit will do the rest. I'll be praying too. I have lost loved ones who are deceived too, so I understand your concern.

MSeaman's post reminds me of George Mueller, George Whitfield, and Augustine, if memory serves me right, I think they were all 'prodigal' sons in their youthful years. And in all cases, they were prayed for by their sister, aunt, and mother.

Yeah, one never knows.

Looking at my own pitiful past, ( even though I'm not a giant saint now :) ), I had a few faithful and loving Christian teachers praying for me.

Praise God!

HopeinCHrist,

Sister, I am very familar with the pain you are going through. It seems to me you are grasping at straws, thinking that surely something - in this case - a book will be what will break through to the boy's heart and bring him to repentance. Lady, what will YOU do when you get the book, he reads it and it still didn't happen. What then? What will you think? Question God? Blame your DH? Been there, done that...unfortunately.

Many years ago I had a real struggle - and this has not been the last, but it was a major one (and are not all of them major when it concerns our children?). I had heard that if you train your children right, teach them to respect, honor their parents they will find it easy to trust the Lord when they get older. As I was pondering where we made this mistake, the LORD spoke to me so clearly. I was at the clothes washer, tending to my laundry when he spoke. He said: "You be mom and let me be God!" Lady, a huge burden rolled off of me! Of course! I will be mom and let God take over. That is easy - sometimes. But the encouraging thing is that God sees it, knows all about it. BUT he is dealing with a human will that has a will all of its own. I remember well after our DD died from a glioblastoma, I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that now I need to go home and concentrate on praying for our boys. This was almost 11 years ago. And we are still waiting for their return to the LORD. In the meantime, we talk to them and I am their mom, loving them, fussing at them, laughing at their jokes....(when I talked this evening to Wen I told him his brother's wife is PG with child #4. He just thought that is too many children, they need to stop. I told him if we had done that, he would not exist! "Oh, but that was a different situation!" says he!!! Oh, dear! did I laugh.)

Yes, sister, it is very hard. But there comes a day and time when the best we can do is back off from preaching and let our actions do the preaching by making sure their clothes are clean, tasty meals prepared and taking an interest in their interests. In the meatime you pray and pray and not lose heart.

Would you know when I hear of other people's prodigals come to the LORD I have a real problem rejoicing with them: why could it not have been one of our two boys? Yes, these are real issues and no simple solution exists. Lady, I will tell you from experience dealing with terminal illness in the form of a brain tumor is a whole lot easier to deal with then a wayward child. I know...been there done that. You know why? Because when one of God's children makes it home, there is rejoicing in heaven and if you have submited this child to the LORD you will catch a glimpse of that joy and it comforts you like nothing else can. But when a person is wayward, God also grieves and there is no joy forthcoming from God. So all one can do is leave it in God's hands...and try not to play God. And do not get angry with God or blame your husband, either.

Another point that has comforted me a lot and it may you, too. Adam and Eve sinned. Why? did they have faulty parenting? God was their parent...where did he go wrong? Think about that a while.

Hope this helps...if you want to PM me I will be happy to talk with you more....

Love and prayers,
ginnyrose

I think they were all 'prodigal' sons in their youthful years. And in all cases, they were prayed for by their sister, aunt, and mother.

The neat thing about prayers is that they keep. God never forgets them.

Ginnyrose, What a beaufiful post! I almost hate to touch it, it is so precious and full of wisdom.

Yet some thoughts arise from it:

I will tell you from experience dealing with terminal illness in the form of a brain tumor is a whole lot easier to deal with then a wayward child.

"You be mom and let me be God!" Lady, a huge burden rolled off of me!

It seems to me that God first works in those who bear the burden (we mothers) - preparing us to be be fit partners with him in the birthing of new life. That process takes us through a lot of deaths. :cry:

we talk to them and I am their mom, loving them, fussing at them, laughing at their jokes

He found a satalite picture of Bonaire, the island in the Carribean where he was born. So he called me, and togehter we made use of the amazing zooming features and "toured" to his birthplace. I showed him where he was born, the nursery, my hospital room, our house, and also the airport, the beaches, oil terminal, mission's buildings, etc etc, Yes, we could see it all by satalite!

No God talk, no preaching. Just a blessed time enjoying each other.

Diane

Diane,

I, too, have noticed that the most effective servants of God are those that were rescued from the depths of sin. They are very aggressive - consider Jesse Morrell - and appear oblivious to opposition their aggression evokes. This is unlike the rest of us who did as we were told, were 'good kids'. Very compliant....So should we sin so grace may abound? Paul says "God forbid!"

allowing God to pry our mommy fingers
off of HIS project.

I love the mental picture this statement evokes! I had to smile. But it is so true.

It seems to me that God first works in those who bear the burden (we mothers) - preparing us to be be fit partners with him in the birthing of new life. That process takes us through a lot of deaths.

Amen! I have likely learned more through this experience then any thing else. Like knowing how to raise children! :-(

Talk about knowing how to raise children...Titus tells us how the older women should teach the younger ones.....actually, since we had two out of five that are rebellious, I still wonder how to raise children! Having said this I will have to say this: these boys are excellent workers, get along well with people, have excellent jobs (one is a civil engineer and the other a sea captain), do not abuse drugs although one does use alcohol at times; employ the ethical values taught at home, except for liking porn and dating an adulteress. Everything goes so well for them! They have no afflictions to make them think about God; they have lots of money: very successful. This bothers me that they are not dependant on God for their well-being. Yet, I know the theological answer to this: God will have to demonstate to them the futility of things, how they fail to satisfy the deepest needs in the heart!

Thanks for sharing, Diane.

ginnyrose

deleted..sorry

Dear HopeInChrist,

I am writing this to you having been "The Prodigal Son" and now reborn. I grew up in a similar situation to Daniel, in the way that I had a praying Mother and a Father who did not know God.

A little background information: My brother Paul died of cancer when he was five years old. I was six at the time. My parents were very protective of me(especially Mom). Looking back, what is most troubling is the fact that they never let me experience consequences of my actions. If I got in trouble at school or with the Law, they would intervene. At the time I thought it was great, but now I realize I wasn't being disciplined and I had a false sense of reality.

When I read the part of your post about paying him to read it reminded me of something my Mom would have done. I would just offer him a book to read. I know you are desperate. And I know I don't understand. My children are 4,2 and a newborn. You have bigger kids, bigger problems.

When I was 25, I was still very much in the world. I was on alot of drugs and homeless at the time. I phoned my Mom from a payphone standing outside at a convenience store in Thunder Bay,Ontario. It was February and freezing cold. I was coming down from an acid trip and I was telling her that I was the son of God or the son of the devil(I was still working that out). I told her that I had seven pennies in my pocket and everything was great. It was around 5:00a.m., my parents were just heading to the airport to leave for a cruise to Panama.

After I came to the Lord, my Mom told me that for the entire cruise she cried and all she could think about was that she was being surrounded by comfort and her son was freezing in a snowbank, out of his mind on drugs. She said it reminded her of Lazurus and the Rich Man. The rich man wanted a drop of water on his tongue, but Lazarus was not able to travel across that chasm to give him one.

The point I am making is that after all my sinning, the Holy Spirit was working on me. I started to get the urge to go to church, a place I hadn't been in nearly twenty years. Now I am ministering to the youth and giving my testimony about how Jesus came to save us from our sins. I don't know what else to say except I will pray for Daniel. I pray that the Lord comforts you.

Murray

I think you should let Daniel read this thread that you started. If anything, maybe he will see how much you care about him.