When is friendship evangelism going too far?

I was on the subway one day going to work. I'm reading my book and listening to this conversation take place:

Girl 1: Excuse me, umm...where did you get those shoes? I love them.
Girl 2: Oh (big smile), I got them on 40th and 5th ave, thank you.

Girl 1: I've been looking for something like those for so long.
Girl 2: Oh yea these are hard to find...

(this goes on about shoes/clothes for about 10-15minutes)

Girl 1: Maybe I can call you one day so you can show me exactly where it is that you shop?!
Girl 2: Sure here's my number (smiling as she leaves the train)

Then she looks at me.

Girl 1: Can I sit here?
Me: sure

Girl 1: I'm sorry, what chuch do you go to? (she saw the cross on the cover of my book (an arrow pointing to heaven/rich mullins)
Me: I go to so and so church. What church do you go to?
Girl 1: New York City Church of Christ.

Right away I knew about this church and they are heavily heavily into recruiting. That incident I just told you about is very typical of all their members. It's all day everyday. Their goal in making friends is to call and call and call and pressure people to hang out so they can join thier cult.

So what's the difference between us making friends so we can win them to Christ and them making friends so they can win them to thier god?

I guess I'm asking because I never want to build a fake relationship. That girl (victim) will go home thinking Girl 1 really liked her shoes and liked her as a friend but will soon realize it was a trap. She will have a bad taste in her mouth about Christians shortly.

It's funny, but the phrase "friendship evangelism" seems to conjure images of phoney smiles and faked sincere attention.

I never want to build a fake relationship

I think the friendliest thing you can do is share Christ with another. If you have to add the word "friendship" to it then it's probably a good sign that something authentic is missing and there are artificial ingredients. They might as well call it "Angle Evangelism" if friendship is just another angle.

It's like someone who tells you something and then adds..."I'm telling you the truth!"

...or that orange juice label that says "made with real juice!". Such a label immediately tells you that there are unknown ingredients in your orange juice. If you simply sqeezed an orange into a glass and served it to someone you wouldn't have to promise that it's "made with real juice!"

In the meantime make sure you give your target plenty of eye contact and use their first name repeatedly, and knod when they talk to indicate you have sincere interest... ;-)

MC

Thanks Compton. that's good.

It reminds me of Matthew 5:37 "Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will,' or 'No, I won't.' Your word is enough. To strengthen your promise with a vow shows that something is wrong." (NLT)

I dont know if the NY Church of Christ is a cult or not, but what I do see in most churches is that the "evangelism/witnessing" taught today, is to get people to come to church so the pastor can preach to them an acceptable message so that people will become Christians over time. Its a far cry from what Christ and the disciples did.

The bible says we (everyone) should witness, give an answer for the hope we have within us, and to teach and preach the good news. The problem is that the modern church has abandoned the "equipping the saints" for this task and replaced personal evangelism/witnessing for seeker sensitive events and activities. These things fill our churches lots of unbelievers (which was meant for believers) and results in a watered down message from the pulpit so as not to offend the "seekers" (not all churches do this, but most I have seen do). Again I think the big difference between biblical evangelism/witnessing and todays modern church is quality vs quantity. Oh well...

Last thot, I wouldnt go too hard on people like this girl, because its possible that she is only doing what she has been taught. She might really have a heart for the lost deep down, but doesnt know how Jesus did it. This shows how important it is to keep going back to God's word and see what He says.

On a good note, at least this girls is doing something. Statistics show that about 95-98% of U.S. Christians do not actively witness (ouchie).

For me I dont like being fake either, I guess that is why I like witnessing the way Jesus did. No fake stuff or recruitment drives for the church I attend, just the gospel/good news of Jesus Christ. Matter of fact I havent told anyone I witnessed to, what church I attend.

Love to chat more, but its late & I havent been feeling too good.

Hi everyone.

Santana, this touches on something that really troubled me, this emphasis on getting people to attend [i]our[/i] church, that is whatever one we are attending. I became so frustrated for one, with chasing people down, going to pick them up and so on, only to find they were not there or could not be reached. How rediculous!

I shared this somewhere else but that frustration is one of the reasons I found Ray Comfort's ministry to be so refreshing becuase the emphaisis was on introducing people to the Saviour. Period.

Isn't it amazing how many [i]good things[/i] can be done with a rotten motive? Our world must really be messed up when even our good is very bad and our rightousness is evil.

All of this reminds me of something Paris Reidhead talks about in a compilation I've heard, I think it is called [i]Everybody needs to do nursery[/i] where he describes being at the Judgement Seat of Christ and looking down at the floor...

[i]...it being covered with ashes.[/i]

Some of which were the just deposited remnants of his own reward.

i heard a great sermon by Haden Robinson called wanted:winners and it talks about winning people to Christ. and i was just wondering if this fit in when Paul says " I am made all things to all men , that i might by all means save some " 1 corth. 11:22 can some one give an application of how to do this today without compromsing the gospel message and your conviction ... in other words how do you become all things to all men?
love
andy

ChrisJD,

I found Ray Comfort's (Way of the Master), which is patterned off of Jesus talks with the women at the well, and the rich young ruler, to be a great way of explaining the bad news and the good news, and it is refreshing.

Good stuff indeed.

Pro 29:27 An unjust man [is] an abomination to the just: and [he that is] upright in the way [is] abomination to the wicked.

How does that verse fit in with "friendship evangelism?" :-?