The True Charisma
Based on the teachings of Rabbi Noah Weinberg
Movie stars and political, as well as religious, figures are sometimes referred to as 'charismatic'.
[b]What is true Charisma?
The charisma which is totally dependent on external factors over which one has no control is considered by Judaism is false charisma. Without adoring fans, the "charismatic" politician has nothing. Without devoted followers, the religious leader has no influence.
Judaism teaches that the path to genuine charisma is B'anava - "with humility." But does humility really generate charisma?! Don't we usually imagine the humble person as meek, gentle and barely noticeable? Biblical Humility is not an inferiority complex or a lack of self-esteem. Humility means "living with the reality that nothing matters except doing the right thing before Hashem."
The humble person is totally dedicated to the pursuit of truth. And because his self-esteem is not dependent on approval from others, he can choose the right thing even when it's not popular or politically correct. An arrogant person, on the other hand, is mostly concerned with his own ego, his own pride, his own money. So even though he appears friendly and charming, he's really manipulating things to suit his selfish needs.
"Arrogance" = I'm all that counts.
"Humility" = What's greater than me is what counts.
Though he appears self-confident, the arrogant person is actually inhibited from expressing his true self. He can never truly "be himself" for his is constantly preoccupied with how he looks to others?
Humility is freedom.
When you are only concerned about truth, and living by it, then you are free to express yourself in the most genuine and uninhibited way. Your natural beauty shines through and that, my friends, is real charisma! The Torah tells us that the most humble person of all time - Moses - was, not coincidentally, also the most charismatic.
As the teacher of Torah, Moses had a quiet confidence in the rightness of his cause. He could not be rattled by rebels nor moved by persecutions or complaints. And that's what earned him the greatest respect. With such genuine self-confidence, the humble person has transcended the mundane pettiness of this world.
He doesn't have to answer every insult...now, that's freedom! He rises above arguments and instead focuses on Hashem rather than on his opponents.. He knows his place, and helps others find their place, too. He makes everyone feel important. Because with the humble person, if others excel, there's no jealousy or risk of ego crisis.
If you ever met such a person, he or she will draws you like a magnet. Because humility is predicated on the pursuit of truth, the L-rd responds to his seeking soul.
The effect of humility is fear of the L-rd, wealth, honor, and life. Prov. 22:4
Then the humble shall have increasing joy through the L-rd, and the neediest of men shall exult in the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 29:19
Now let's take this a step further.
Ultimately, everyone is 'dying' for a cause. World peace, save the whales, political reform, everyone is dedicated to something. The only question that remains, therefore, is "what is your cause?"
Have you ever tried to write your own obituary? For what do you want to be remembered? It's an exercise that will give you real perspective in what you truly consider most important and then help you evaluate your choice. Is your focus in the right place?
"Doing the right thing" is a laudable goall, but there's a higher one yet.
You also have to do the right thing for the right reason - i.e. "because it's the right thing to do." If you do the right thing for selfish reasons - e.g., so you can brag about your accomplishments - you'll end up frustrated with yourself.
The story is told of a great rabbi, on his death bed, praying with great intensity. His students were gathered around and asked, "Rabbi, what are you thinking at this moment?"
The rabbi: "A little voice inside me is saying, 'Pray with great intensity so your students will be impressed."
Even at the moment of death, this holy man was battling his ego. It's a lifelong fight. True charisma comes when we disengage ourselves from the need for outside approval.
So do the right thing for the right reason. No matter what the consequences may be. It's the greatest freedom in the world!
Judaism teaches that in order to discover true meaning in life, we have to be in touch with what the Creator wants. Because God, being outside the bounds of human ego and partisanism, is the source of objectivity. In essence, He defines what is "good."
Objectivity and humility are intimately connected because it is Objectivity that gives us the ability to rise above selfish considerations and do the right thing, for the right reasons. That leads to humility.
Moses was called "the most humble" because he stood before God with the utmost respect. With awe. Moses knew his place. Anything else precludes room for God to fit in. That's why the Talmud likens arrogance to idol worship; both push away the presence of God.
In any situation, ask yourself: "What would God want?" Do what He says, and you'll always be doing the right thing.
The Sages ask a fundamental question: Why was the Torah given in a desert? Because a desert is empty. What this means is that to acquire Torah - to receive God's wisdom - we must first be willing to open up space inside our hearts, empty them of our self-focused pursuits and attitudes, of old patterns and belief systems that militate against humble teachableness.
The bottom line is this:
The more you rise above the need for others' approval, and develop your inner sense of confidencein Hashem and His love toward you, the more charisma you will possess.
And that's something no one can ever take away from you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY IS "HUMILITY" SO PRIZED IN THE SCRIPTURE?
Humility generates truth and objectivity.
Humility is freedom; Arrogance is bondage of the worst kind.
Humility is pleasure. Arrogance is pain.
Humility enables you to embrace others; Arrogance pushes others away.
Humility deepens your relationship with God; Arrogance deepens your relationship with your own ego.
Until you know what you are willing to die for, you have not yet begun to live.
I think that this is an interesting angle at looking at the whole thing, what do you guys think.