Confessions Of A Hypocrite

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murdog Feb 13, 2007

Members,

I wish this article was about someone else but unfortunately it is about me.

I have played around with Christianity for long enough. I have come to the cross, walked around the cross, but now I am deciding to get on the cross.

I have grown weary of living as an enemy of the cross. It is because of me that the name of God is blasphemed all day long. I can't even talk to my wife about holiness because she knows I am duplicitous. I destroy my credibility at work with my words and actions. I have to wear cosmetics to Church, I have become an actor in a play. But now I know how the play ends, I always have known somewhere deep inside. I just always thought I would repent tomorrow.

I went to my church on friday night for the prayer meeting. Before it started, I sat down and told the pastor and a couple of the regular members that I was living a double life. That I was holding on to sin and not submitting to God. They were shocked, and then they said "Well there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus". I said that is the problem I have never been in Christ, I have never allowed the sanctification process to get past a certain point.

Don't get me wrong, I don't sell drugs anymore, I don't hit people with bats anymore, I don't threaten to kill police officers anymore. I am not a new creation, I am just a slightly more refined version of the old creation.

On sunday morning at church, I started weeping before the service started and it felt so good to know that God has not handed me over to a hardened heart. I cried out for discipline from Him. Those he loves, he disciplines. On the other hand those of us that love Him, obey Him.

I have been a great hearer of the word, I have been a great reciter of the word. Now it is time to become a doer of the word.

"For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he hath gained, when God taketh away his soul?" Job 26:8

Murray

sermonindex Feb 13, 2007

Dear Brother. The angels are rejoicing, and so is the Lord!

Luke 15: 3 So he told them this parable: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost.’ 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite. 16 For I will not contend for ever, nor will I always be angry; for from me proceeds the spirit, and I have made the breath of life. 17 Because of the iniquity of his covetousness I was angry, I smote him, I hid my face and was angry; but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart. 18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and requite him with comfort, creating for his mourners the fruit of the lips. 19 Peace, peace, to the far and to the near, says the Lord; and I will heal him.
The Revised Standard Version.

Isaiah 66:2 ...this is the man to whom I will look, he that is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,
and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
(The Revised Standard Version)

Enough said?

Jeannette

sermonindex Feb 13, 2007

Praise God, Murray!! My prayers are with you. I think if we all do some serious self-examining we will find that none of us are where we should be. You've encouraged me by your testimony, and have also inspired me to take some time alone with the Lord and seek His face concerning my own life, and where I am with Him. I know for me... I hardly ever measure up.

Keep on keepin' on, my brother!

Krispy

sermonindex Feb 13, 2007

You are not the only one who's been in repentance and confession mode recently :-( See the thread "A broken heart" in the Miracles that follow the plow section. The more we go on with the Lord the more He searches our heart.

God bless you and give you His grace, and awareness of forgiveness.

Jeannette

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Yeshuasboy Feb 14, 2007

Sounds like God is blessing you brother... and I'm so glad He is :-)
The Lord Christ Jesus bless you and your household,
richie
PS. May God's promise in 1Jn 1:7,9 be fulfilled in your life as you put your faith in the Loving Heavenly Father and His Spiritual best for you.

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Yeshuasboy Feb 14, 2007

I think if we all do some serious self-examining we will find that none of us are where we should be. You've encouraged me by your testimony, and have also inspired me to take some time alone with the Lord and seek His face concerning my own life, and where I am with Him. I know for me... I hardly ever measure up.

Looks like somebody already cut my grass :-P Amen to this. Got to go eat some humble pie now...
Lord help me before it's too late,
richie

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roadsign Feb 14, 2007

Murray, Words cannot describe how thrilled I am to read your testimony. It us much like mine – God bringing me out of an “outer cup salvation” into an authentic relationship with him.

I must admit that I have had a hard time explaining my testimony. People who have known me for years just can't see that I had any reason to doubt my salvation. I was such a good Christian, after all.

Testimonies like this seem to be few and far between – I guess that is because “it is not the healthy who need a doctor....”.

May God’s Spirit continue to speak to you of his goodness.

Diane

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murdog Feb 14, 2007

Members,

The Lord is granting me repentance as I am beginning to do what the word says. One thing that had really overtaken me was deception, God has shown me that I lie constantly.

"Wherefore put away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members of one another."

I also want to purify my mind and heart in regards to lustful thoughts.

"Let there be not even a hint of sexual immorality among you"

I was asked to speak at a men's breakfast coming up and I thought I can't speak to these people being a hypocrite. I was reminded of the quote by C.H. Spurgeon that say if a man's life is not right at home he should go twenty miles away to speak, stand up and say NOTHING.

That is when it dawned on me to go there and tell them the truth about my life, my hypocrisy and tell them what God wants me to do.

I had highlighted a verse in Psalm 66 that says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have heard me." At first I liked the verse and then it become a curse to me. I realized God would not hear my prayer because he knew I cherished sin in my heart.

With that I was at a crossroads, continue pretending to be a Christian or actually start producing fruit in keeping with repentance.

Another quote by Spurgeon says "Is any sin so luscious, that it is worth burning in hell forever for?" Now of course we all say no, but there were sins that I was unwilling to part with.

I don't want to trample his blood under my feet anymore. Is this how I repay the one who died for me?

Let me at least do what Jesus came to do and that is to rescue me from my sins and to take me from darkness unto light.

Murray

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murdog Feb 15, 2007

Members,

Does anyone else here have a problem discerning their own motives? There is so much about myself that I don't trust.

I just wanted to let you know that I had a fall in an area which I am weak in yesterday, please pray for me.

There is alot going on right now in my life, my marriage is not doing well.

I don't want to give the impression that I am suddenly sin free because I started this post.

There is so much to overcome.

Murray

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hmmhmm Feb 15, 2007

brother, i can identify whit a lot of things, first from where you come from, also about the hypocrisy part, its my daily prayer that it should be a reality in my life what i speak unto others, Ive sometimes felt so utterly crushed whit guilt and shame on my knees Ive felt unworthy of even a creature as i to be breathing Gods holy air down into my "filthy" sinful body...and it seems to me just amazing the earth just don't open and swallow me down into the eternal depths of hell for all eternity,

it is a struggle every day, thoughts and emotions... sometimes i scream at my wife, at my kids, i so fail in all things, i can look back and see in areas i have been fully freed and are walking on great, but its the "smaller " areas... the "secret" sins... i need a great big cross driven into my sinful heart, i pray much about these things and i believe God for granting repentance and mercy, i have sometimes secret pride...secret pride... ohh that i would die completely to myself... but it feels like once I'm getting on that cross there is one arm wrestling to get free... swinging to grab a hold of the world and its lust and pride... I'm screaming to it DIE ! DIE ! DIE!

self is hard to kill, i thought I'm saved I'm home free its done finiched... in terms of saved i believe i am, i know i was born again of God everything became new, my life my everything...now i beginning to see that getting saved was only the first step into eternity.... now every day fighting, standing fast, always praying, carrying a cross, suffering,

but one word is stuck into my mind, no matter how hard it is or feels... where should we go? he has the word of eternal life... Ive prayed many times - God come back now or strike me dead! i cant take it any more,

but often we can take much more then we imagine...

just some thought from a brother in the struggle

Christian

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Goldminer Feb 15, 2007

Dear Christian and Murdog,

I would like to encourage you to read a book called "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. It is so liberating to know that we "are already" dead in Christ, we just need to reckon ourselves to be so.

Rom 6:6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with [him], that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

Rom 6:7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.

Rom 6:8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:

Rom 6:9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

Rom 6:10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.

Rom 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

I was so blessed by your openess and honesty. I too have been confessing lately. Isn't it a wonderful thing God is doing in us. We are to confess our faults one to another that we might be free.

Bro. Art Katz in one of his sermons talks about how he went into a meeting to speak after having a fight with his wife, she telling him, go tell them what a might man of God you are. As he sat there waiting to be called to speak he was in turmoil and all he could hear was confess your faults one to another. So when he got up to speak he told them he had no message except confess your faults one to another and he began to relate his sin to the congregation. After he was done he just stood there for what seemed like an eternity and didn't hear a sound, then it happened, weeping started in the back of the room and before long the entire room broke down and they had revival.

This is so awesome what is happening on this forum. If this isn't church I don't know what is. Don't be discouraged dear brothers we are closer than we ever were to the place we should be, broken and at His feet confessing our sins one to another that we might be healed. The enemy of our souls only has power when we hide things, but once we bring the hidden things to light, darkness is pushed back. Glory! :-D

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deltadom Feb 15, 2007

I have played around with Christianity for long enough. I have come to the cross, walked around the cross, but now I am deciding to get on the cross.

I think I need to aswell we all need the cross

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murdog Feb 15, 2007

Members,

I love you all so much, I just want you to know I really appreciate you and your support.

Murray

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Branded4him Feb 15, 2007

Amen brother thats beautiful oh how majestic is the workings of God.

sermonindex Feb 15, 2007

roadsign wrote:
Murray, Words cannot describe how thrilled I am to read your testimony. It us much like mine – God bringing me out of an “outer cup salvation” into an authentic relationship with him.
~~[b]~~AMEN!!![/b]
I must admit that I have had a hard time explaining my testimony. People who have known me for years just can't see that I had any reason to doubt my salvation. I was such a good Christian, after all.
Testimonies like this seem to be few and far between – I guess that is because “it is not the healthy who need a doctor....”.
May God’s Spirit continue to speak to you of his goodness.
Diane

~~[b]~~John Bunyan had a similar experience. He was convicted of sin, and "turned over a new leaf", but wasn't born again until afterwards. According to "Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners" he went through terrible times of condemnation before he finally found peace. He even imagined he had committed the unforgivable sin. He said he preached "as a dying man to dying men", and many found Christ as a result.
In more recent years Mr GW North (some of you will have known him) apparently used to preach and take part in prayer meetings before he was actually born again!
I think it's possible to be a hypocrite without knowing it. Paul was - no-one could have been as keen and devout than him - he was an expert on the things of God. Until he met Jesus. What a terrible shock it must have been for him to realise he'd been wrong all along!
So you are in good company!
The grace and love of the Lord is so utterly ~~[i]~~MAGNIFICENT[/i], isn't it!

Jeannette[/b]

sermonindex Feb 15, 2007

murdog wrote:
Members,
Does anyone else here have a problem discerning their own motives? There is so much about myself that I don't trust.
I just wanted to let you know that I had a fall in an area which I am weak in yesterday, please pray for me.
There is alot going on right now in my life, my marriage is not doing well.
I don't want to give the impression that I am suddenly sin free because I started this post.
There is so much to overcome.
Murray

~~[b]~~Dear Brother, of course we don't know our own heart, or our motives. Why do you think God sent his Spirit, and "zaps" us sometimes through His Word?
Hebrews 4:12 12 ~~[i]~~For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things,and desperately corrupt; who can understand it? 10 “I the Lord search the mind and try the heart,[/i]
We don't have to do it ourselves. You said you don't trust yourself. If you did you would still be a hypocrite! Its when we think we can get free from sin by our own efforts that we fall. :oops:
Don't despair but trust the Lord to both search and deal with sin in your life.
I'm still learning this too, but have got used to having to let the Lord sort me out, cos I can't, and don't worry about it so much as I did.
Its still uncomfortable though: If you notice I'm talking too much, "preaching" at everyone and and seem generally slightly unbalanced, its probably because the Lord is dealing with something, and its got me all out of sync and messed up :-?
Love in Him

Jeannette
[/b]

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Almond Feb 15, 2007

You've encouraged me by your Testimony, and have also inspired me to take some time alone with the Lord and seek His face concerning my own life, and where I am with Him. I know for me...I hardly ever measure up.

I believe that as we seek the Lord every morning for the rest of our lives, we should encourage one another to go through this self examination of our walk with Him.

I had to go through this myself and as the Lord led me to a book he showed me the word Rod, and began to speak to me about Moses, and how he gave each of the 12 tribes a rod, (Paraphrasing) he would then come back to see if the Rod had budded, was there any Almonds on it?

The Lord spoke to my heart and said that each and everyone of us who a Rod has been given too as a Priest in their home, in mine it’s me…where is the bud, not the fruit, the bud?

The Lord spoke to my heart again and said that the bud as he was speaking to me represented salvation, where is my families salvation?

My confession is that I failed –

Why do I say this? This is why! I know of a dear person who fell on (M)onday (M)orning, and broke her wrist – as I tried picking her up from the floor, I noticed that her forearm was going in a different direction – she was rushed immediately to the Hospital where x-rays proved that her bones from her forearm had been broken in two.

It was heart breaking to see this dear person on Monday Morning on the floor so varnable so helpless…when all is said and done, when God opens this book of life in front of us, will he be looking for our accomplishments? Will he be looking to see how many precious stones we have on our crown, rather big or small? Or will he be looking to see how many people have we spoken too about his Son? Does our family know his son? I have to say that NO only two perhaps four, where is the rest?

Do we wait for tragedy to occur so that through the tragedy a soul is won to the Lord and SAVED, or do we GO and speak to them NOW?

sermonindex Feb 16, 2007

Murdog...

Let your old self die. Let go of everything. Die to self. Last night I spent two good hours, after two-four hour sessions of a special service in my area, crying out to our Lord. The other day I mentioned that I never prayed so hard in my life after the first day of this four day service. Last night was by far 10X greater than the other day.

Murdog, go to an area or place (your church may or may not be 'appropriate' for this) where you can cry out to the Lord and let everything go. Start from the beginning and pray through to eternity.

Take my advice or not, but it gave me what I needed. I am on the cross now. Come! Join me, there is plenty of room. As you mentioned, there are a lot of people looking and walking around, but they are not getting on.

Also, just a suggestion...change means change. Where did you get your nickname? The reason I ask is because it sounds like something you would have received from 'friends' of the world. Do not get me wrong, if you like it and have received it as a Christian, sorry, but if not, you might want to consider changing it. We are much better than dogs (just a thought :-( ... maybe MurryChristmas... MerryMurry... or just Murry??!!).

Pray on all things and in all things pray.

God Bless You MerryMurry :-)
BrianMira

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hmmhmm Feb 16, 2007

i recommend this for watching, they greatly blessed me

Eight ways to deceive our selfs

https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=11602&commentView=itemComments

Doing God’s Will Is The Greatest Thing (video) by Zac Poonen
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/singlefile.php?lid=14498&commentView=itemComments

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Yeshuasboy Feb 16, 2007

I've found a few really inspiring sermons here by Alan Redpath on self-denial and the struggle between the flesh and the Spirit.
I'm providing links so any that have the time to listen may do so and be encouraged in the Lord.

murdog wrote:
Members,
Does anyone else here have a problem discerning their own motives? There is so much about myself that I don't trust.

It almost seems like in my life, God lets such things take place that I dare not put no confidence in my own flesh because I know how ungodly I'd react if I give my flesh the chance. I've found it much better to just wait upon the Lord even though the flesh wants to respond.... denying myself and taking up my particular cross to my particular circumstance. I know from experience how selfish and sinful the old man is. But I am called to take the old man off and to put on the new man. The more I submit myself to God the easier it is becoming to do so.
God willing, I'll expound on this more clearly when I have the time... maybe this weekend... but only so others may benefit and God can get some glory out of the grace He has invested in me years ago that I think now is just starting to show through my life.
He has saved me from great and terrible bondages. But, I too, dear brother, desire to be saved from the power of ~~[b]~~ALL[/b] of the deep inward sins that the Loving God of the universe wants to set me free from that Christ may manifest Himself through me with no restrictions. The holier I become, the happier I become. And I hope that by His grace I will go alot farther than I already have. I feel that I must, for there is nothing else I know that I want as badly... but to truly see for myself just how good and gracious the Lord Christ Jesus is. To read about His goodness is one thing, but to experience it for myself is truly of another sort. For He came to save sinners, of whom I am chief.

God bless you Murray... may our families see Christ in us.

~~[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=3716]~~Challenge Of Every Christian Part 6, by Dr Alan Redpath[/url]

~~[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=12123]~~Self Dies Hard, by Dr Alan Redpath[/url]

richie