I apologize in advance for the length :-)
Good illustration! Although it would be better if you said that your decision would be made because of love for your wife, rather than that you "desired a happy wife". For all we know your reason might have been because you didn't want her mad at you, or that she's such a good cook that McDonalds wasn't much of a temptation!
Yes. It is truly because of my love for my wife. That is a better reason.
So you aren't a hyper-Calvinist?
I am far from being a hyper-Calvinist. I truly believe that "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out." (John 6:37) and that "...those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." (Romans 8:29-30) I also affirm Acts 2:21, "And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." and Romans 10:13, "For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
I consider myself to be a William Carey type Calvinist. He believed in particular atonement but also strongly believed in spreading the gospel to every single person. He strongly fought against hyper-Calvinism. It has been reported:
"At a ministers' meeting in 1786, Carey raised the question of whether it was the duty of all Christians to spread the Gospel throughout the world. J. R. Ryland, the father of John Ryland, is said to have retorted: "Young man, sit down; when God pleases to convert the heathen, he will do it without your aid and mine." However, Ryland's son, John Ryland Jr., disputes that his father made this statement."
Carey opposed this view and I do as well.
Information taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Carey
The main problem I have with the concept that we are "predestined" to be saved or lost is that it can easily become a horrible kind of fatalism.
Predestination in scripture:
1. Romans 8:29, "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren."
2. Romans 8:30, "Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified."
3. Ephesians 1:5, "Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,"
4. Ephesians 1:11, "In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:"
Predestination is always referred to in scripture in a positive sense. It is always used to describe the saint. It is the doctrine of election that ruffles feathers. God elects some but not others. Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 1:4, "Knowing, brethren beloved, your election of God."
Election Ekloge
Definition:
1. the act of picking out, choosing
a. of the act of God's free will by which before the foundation of the world he decreed his blessings to certain persons
b. the decree made from choice by which he determined to bless certain persons through Christ by grace alone
2. a thing or person chosen
a. of persons: God's elect
Same word used in:
Acts 9:15, "But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel:"
Romans 9:11, "(For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;)"
Romans 11:5, "Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace."
Romans 11:7, "What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded"
Romans 11:28, "As concerning the gospel, they are enemies for your sakes: but as touching the election, they are beloved for the fathers' sakes."
2 Peter 1:10, "Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:"
It is undeniable that the Bible speaks of God choosing people to salvation. However, the Bible never tells us or gives us any indication that it is ok to be lazy in doing good and being holy. We are also commanded to go and be witnesses and tell others about the grace we have received.
For example, the teaching on the subject in Islam is very fatalistic, and suspiciously like the logical conclusion of extreme hyper-Calvinism.Apparently even Muhammed was sometimes (with good reason, obviously, though he didn't know that) gripped by fears that he wouldn't make it to (his version of) heaven. I understand that he taught that everyone was predestined for heaven or hell, and that nothing they did would ever change that fact. They could follow all the tenets of their religion 200%, but if they were predestined to hell they would still be lost. Another person could live a very wicked life, careless of religion and still go to "heaven" if they were predestined to do so.
I hope you actually don't believe that, but that's where it leads, taken to extremes - religion robbed of hope.
I believe what the Bible teaches in that one must abide in Christ and have faith in order to go to heaven.
2 John 1:8-10 gives this warning to all those who profess a faith in Christ:
"Watch yourselves, so that you may not lose what we have worked for, but may win a full reward. Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting,"
Romans 11:17-21 also has this warning:
"But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in." That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but stand in awe. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you."
Faith is the key to salvation. I do not believe someone can "live a very wicked life, careless of religion and still go to "heaven". God says in Romans 14:23 "whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." and in Hebrews 11:6, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
We can't even will to do right left to ourselves - even that is a gift of God - but He gives freely to all who ask, all who are, as it were, "willing to will His will"Philippians 2:12f
work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do His good pleasure.
I am glad that you used that verse. It is God who works in us to will and to do His good pleasure and at the same time we are held responsible for not willing and doing His good pleasure.
It really is a mystery isn't it!
Paul said it well in Romans 11:33-36 immediately after speaking on this topic:
"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?' 'Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."
It is a divine mystery about how is sovereign in salvation and yet man is responsible for his unbelief.
For you could say that He also gives the desire to "will to will", and to "will to will to will" and so on ad infinitum.Yet somewhere there also has to be free choice, because LOVE can't be compelled. Even God cannot compel us to love Him, against our will - it would be a sort of spiritual rape, which is characteristic of Satan not God.
The balance between these two is the key because both are taught.
That is why I consider myself a Calvinist in respect to doctrine. (I am a Christian first and foremost)
Hyper-Calvinists see only the Sovereignty of God and make the mistake of saying that man is not responsible for his actions. This view is off-balance.
Arminians see mostly the Freewill of man and make the mistake of saying that it is solely man's decision and that God is just an actor in salvation. God is powerless to save and only man holds the deciding vote. A popular quote they may say is 'The Devil wants me in hell, God wants me in Heaven and I must decide." This view is off-balance because it limits God.
Calvinists see both God as Sovereign in salvation and man responsible to have faith. It affirms both the 'whosoever' verses in scripture and the 'God chose you' verses in scripture. It sees both as true and God as good. This view takes into account all of scripture.