aj, I believe that God has his hand in your life and is drawing you to himself - bit by bit.
Really, he is the only one who can rightfully assess you. But from my persective, it seems that your love for the Lord is growing. You are asking a lot of good questions, you are trying to be honest. And your interest in the Bible is growing ( I can tell by your PM’s! ) My goodness, you just purchased your Bible last week. Don't expect to be Spurgeon overnight!
I confess, I am prone to view myself in comparison to others, and that can be good and bad. I see someone who knows the Bible far better than me, and then I think, “Oh, my, I’m such a lousy Christian. I don’t love God.”
There are all kinds of reasons that the Bible can be dull to people, or turn them off. It could be a dullness of the mind, or hardness of the heart. It may be the way it was “rammed down their throat” in their early years. It may be the result of bad influences - like hypocritical Christians who tooted the word but lived ungodly, hardened lives. It may be false perceptions ex: The Bible is the cause of all the conflict in religion. It may be reading difficulties. It may be fears. It may be religiosity, ie, dependency on religious experience. It could be an inability to forgive someone. It could be other personal sins that they are not ready to acknowledge. (The Bible is a very blatant mirror!)
There's all kinds of ways that the devil tries to rob the word from hearts in order to drive them away from God.
I am confident that the Lord will help you get past what is blocking you - be it old mindsets, or whatever is getting in the way of your love for the word. And he will do it in his time. You will love the word more and more!
I pray for you. You are precious to the Lord. He loves you and so do I. He is not willing that any should perish! Don’t let the devil drive you into discouragement!
Diane