Dear Diane,
I do commend you for articulating a well thought article from a spiritual viewpoint on the titanic tragedy. I enjoyed reading the graph and skimming through the text. Unbeknownst to me though, skimming through your site I had an experienced like unto the titanic. Let me explain.
Browsing through your articles I came across one entitled [url=http://www.thewayback.net/articles/pleasehearwhatiam.htm]"Please Hear What I am Not Saying"[/url]. Though it was not authored by you, I thank you as thanking the author for hosting his work. Thinking I had spiritual gifts enough to discern the beauty is such a title, I glanced at this rose (picking it up), and the thorns were sharp enough to pierce through my SI-armored heart. Upon reading the poetic piece, it seemed almost a description of my own pretending, but yea upon God’s dealing with me, he shewed me this was my fellow man.
I chatter to you in the swave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is really everything,Nothing of what is crying within me. So, do not be fooled by what I am saying.
How I stereotype him by anti-socialness, show no compassion and love, yea and even judging him only worthy of my trivial small talk—when I ought to see through their masks and speak of Jesus.
You can help me to break down the wall behind which I tremble. You can help me to remove my mask. You can help me to be released from my shadowy world of panic,uncertainty and loneliness.
It shattered my mask dear sister, and praise God he prevented my trying to tape it back together with revival sermons and articles. How I shall apply this to my everyday walk I shall yet uncover.
Sailing further I discovered your article [url=http://www.thewayback.net/articles/redlightdistrict.htm]"The Red Light Distrct"[/url]. My seeing your person once helped me to visualize you walking in such a place. You tempted with thoughts I probably would strive with surprised me, revealing just how all our minds our ( or would to be) were it not for Gods grace.
That night God hung a red light over me, and the Holy Spirit shone into many dark corners of my heart. Suddenly, by divine enlightenment, I could see many of my own hypocritical offenses that, in God's eyes, were just as bad as the sins of the prostitutes. Here is one example: I had decided to avoid the Red Light District, in order to keep MYself pure and clean. I was attempting to maintain MY self-righteous condition. I would never have chosen to go there. Oh no! Not me! The Pharisees were like that too. They kept away from sinful places because they wanted to stay clean. So they stuck to each other. Jesus was not that way. He hung around with the sinners --even the prostitutes, in order that he could love them and rescue them from their sin bondages. He was not concerned about maintaining a reputation that impressed his religious associates. He was more concerned about the condition of the lost.
Painting the picture of the actual fear of men, heart structured religion and social ‘dos & don’ts’ among professed Christians was a treat to see you overcome. However, I find its so much easier to witness someone else’s revelation than to actually take part in it—and this is what I’m guilty of. It grieves me I cannot put into practice from reading your experience as you have learned. It shouldn’t take for me to have to bodily fly to Amsterdam as thou hast to receive from Christ what thou hast, but it seems my ship is that well built—but by thy obedience it is losing water fast.
Ever since my encounter with God that night in Amsterdam, his mercy towards me has taken on much greater significance. I have come to realize that God has never been the least bit impressed with many of the values that I had adopted. He has never been impressed with all my attempts to attain self-righteousness. (That didn't work anyway.) Instead, he wanted me to be honest about myself, stop trusting in my own efforts, and put my trust in him --in his love, mercy and forgiveness. I have come to believe that my salvation is not merely a past event. It is a daily reality because I am in continual need of God's mercy - every moment of every day. Only as I rest in the assurance of God's forgiveness, am I able to live in the joy of his salvation. That awareness helps me to lean on God, rather than on myself or on others.
All in all I enjoyed my voyage around your site, I bless God he’s somewhat shown me the folly of my selfish architecture, its now up to me whether I shall apply them as successful as you did with that woman you met. The visual aids and scripture references were profitable to convey these lessons of great value, and I trust you still walk in them.
P.S.
My brother, playing the minister, would stand on the kitchen table with a book in his hands (often upside-down) and preach his heart out. He delivered his sermons with passion and conviction. Then he would baptize my dolls at the bathroom sink saying exactly the right words.
This gave me a few laughs :-) . Thanks for sharing your life Diane, it has helped me.