From what I have learned from my own family, my Dad, my brother, my nephews and niece, Agnostiscm is simply a word to describe a resistance to change, and a great deal of pride.
I know, I've had to deal with it constantly. But since I am very like my Dad in many ways, I knew to watch him closely, pray, and wait. And it's been a long hard road.
After much intermittent questioning, I have learned three things from my Dad, who recently converted to Christ, (Praise God!) after my friends and I prayed for nearly five years for the Holy Spirit to touch him, open his ears, his eyes, his heart.
The Holy Spirit even gave me a song to sing - for nearly a year I sang it over and over each day, then the impulse seemed to be to lie back and wait. That song was replaced by others.
My Dad had a bad church experience as a child - total hypocrisy. He didn't know whether to believe that the Bible was true or not. Most of all, he didn't want to change, and flat out said so 6 years ago. He's 83 in August, healthy, and likely to make it to the Rapture if Jesus comes within 10 years. (Long lived family).
And then there is the family pride that he himself taught my brother and I. Control freaks and perfectionists all!
In the end, it was the Holy Spirit and a lot of prayers that slowly softened my Dad up, opened him up, and made him willing to believe if only he could be convinced. The Bible Codes (Equaldistance Letter Sequences) appealed enough to his logical mind to back up my claim that God wrote the Bible through men.
We changed prayer strategies. We asked the Holy Spirit to give him curiosity about Christianity. I smuggled a book or too of mixed revelation and Bible codes into his house. He knew I got them there, and teased me about it. He read them, or parts of them.
I ventured a word or two once or twice a month as he very slowly opened up, often snapping at me after one sentence "That's enough of that!"
But soon some questions came that I didn't even dare go beyond the simplest answer.
It was a long slow process, and a lot of prayers from my friends, a lot of begging God on my part to not let me face his death knowing he was unsaved.
After a year from his conversion he is being taught almost solely by the Holy Spirit, and a few leading remarks from me. He will not read the bible...not interested yet. He won't go to church...too many bad memories.
Yet I see him changing. He is willing to hear me speak a sentence here or there about prophecy related to the news. I've been able to tell him about heaven. And he took his first communion just this Easter Sunday, by agreeing that if I would say the words, he would amen them.
By praying, watching, waiting, dropping a few words, I have a small portion in my Dad's salvation, along with many others. Mostly I leave him to the Holy Spirit, and wait for the questions. Patience and prayer was the key, along with, I think, his increasing sense of mortality.
My brother is being difficult, and my sister-in-law too demanding. My brother's excuses for not believing - He read the Bible as literature in High School and could make nothing of it.(Who can, without the Holy Spirit, and a good grounding in the basic's of Christianity?)
And he believes that religion is a crutch. Alas, the family pride!
And my sister-in-law is a recent convert with extremely strong views who will not walk out Christ in front of him. In her own words, she has already tried that. In mine, she probably didn't manage it for more than an hour here or there, and her Bible-thumping put him off from the moment she converted, copying her parents limited, but fervently opinionated speech.
But she lives with my brother, and is his wife. I plead with her to be silent, yet I know, from experience with him, how difficult my brother can be.
I don't live with my father, although I speak with him daily, and he is but two miles away.
I am aware of the pride problem, and the change problem, and do not press him. The salvation and small changes I have seen are enough for me to let the Holy Spirit do his work. And, soon after he converted, I was ordained, and he actually will allow two or three sentences about God in the same conversation...but almost only on Sundays!
All this is summed up where I started. Pride, and a reluctance to change.
I will not say that I walked out Christ in front of my father. I would say that he slowly got to know me after my mother's death in 2000, and that between prayer, discretion, and a very slow, but steady persistence on my part, and my friends to quietly stand our ground was the right combination. But in all, it was prayer and the Holy Spirit, and not rushing him.
My brother? His children, also offended by their mother's style, and their grandparents? They hear much word, and see little evidence, I fear. I don't know. I have spoken to my nephews and niece, and they have agreed, for some reason, to not block out the possibility of God.
Yet I know my sister-in-law is a fervent Christian, if a clumsy one. And she would be the first to agree that she has no tact. Yet she does really well with strangers, and sows much seed, probably because she treads lightly with strangers. And yes, I do like and love my sister-in-law. But she would drive me nuts if she lived with me, and knows it!
Oh, if only my dad knew more, and would talk to my brother!
If only my brother's wife had my friends, that even my dad values, not because they are Christian, but because they are nice, interesting people!
For my brother disdains church in a way my father does not, never having experienced it, good, or bad. Evidently he dislikes all he's met who go to it. My hope is in his closest friend, my foster brother, who is a devoted Christian, and I hope a wise one, since they remain friends despite the religious difference.
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Martin,
Pray a lot, and talk little. Be Christian, walk in the fruit of the spirit, and do not talk Christ unless your co-worker asks a question, and then, please, don't answer more than he asks. Non-Christians overdose on our devotion very quickly. And work situations are so touchy.
If you are nice enough, cool enough (I don't mean fashionable, but reserved) about your beliefs, holding them strongly, but speaking in mildness, and pray enough for a long enough time...there is hope.
Longsuffering is the word.
I hope my experiences help give you an idea of what you are up against, but give you hope.
Many the Holy Spirit guide you in this, and all things,
Blessings,
Forrest