I want to die

Today, my husband and I went to our church. Our youth pastor is engaged to a girl who lives 4 hours away. She was there today. I asked her where she stays when she comes to town and she said she stays with him. I was speechless.

My husband and I had just scheduled a meeting with our pastor to discuss the fact that he and his wife are the only ones handling the money and how we think that isn't right and we aren't comfortable with that, then I'm bowled over by the realization that something is terribly wrong with the youth pastor spending the night with his girlfriend.

When I told my husband, he just threw up his hands and said, "I'm done!" He doesn't want to deal with all this stuff. He's a new beleiver and he isn't up to all this confrontation.

I'm so disappointed in institutional church. I don't want to live. Dian.

I am praying for you, my dear sister
That is very hard to hear, but it is true.

"I'm so disappointed in institutional church. I don't want to live"

Don't give up. God will hear your cry's. I think that is what God wants of us, to hate sin. Praise God He has made your heart sick at sin in the Body. Even so much that your husband threw up. God wants us to seek, Him and live Holy lives. In matthew 5 it say if you have a promble with a brother go and talk with him, if he doesn't listen then tell an elder. But I think it is right you go to him frist, and tell how it dishonoring to God.

Pray for him, Don't give up. Maybe he will trun and confess his sin. SO pray for him. May God have mercy on him.

In his love
charlene

He's a new beleiver and he isn't up to all this confrontation.

Oh my soul ... praying

Praying that the Lord would strengthen you and your husbands resolve even now.

Dian,

When I say that I know where you are, please don't take that as I am just trying to make you feel better. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!! I have left church so many mornings in AGONY! My husband is also very, very new in the Lord and he probably has said the same exact words your husband has. Please, ask the Holy Spirit to give you "ears" to hear what I would like to share with you. I pray that you are encoraged and see the Lord at work...yes even in this horrible situation!!

On 9/11/01 the Lord spoke to my heart and said "this is a wake up call to my bride." I relized how lukewarm and backslidden I had become and the grave danger I was in!! I cried out to the Lord and just was so repentant for my sin and the country!! I went to church the following Sunday and expected to find the entire church on their face, repenting and crying out to God. But when I got there, it was business as ususal. I think we sang "God Bless America" or something, but there was hardly even a mention of it. I would go to bible study or "Mom's group" and try to tell people what the Lord was speaking to me, but they seemed so annoyed that I wanted to talk up such things as repenting and drawing closer to the Lord. I once told a close friend that my desire was to draw closer to the Lord, she looked at me like I just told her I was from Mars!!! The closer I drew to Him, the less and less I felt part of the church. It finally came to the point, where I would come to church and in my heart I would cry out "where have you taken my Lord???"

I thought I had totally lost my mind and most people around me would have agreed! But that all changed the day that I opened David Wilkerson's news lettter. It was like finding pure gold!!! Everyting that the Lord was speaking to me in my prayer closet, was confirmed from this pastor over 200 miles away in New York City! I hardly knew anything about David Wilkerson or Times Square Church then, but I knew I was receiving the truth for the first time in a very long time!!

Since 9/11/01, I have been on the never ending journey to find a good church. I have heard every thing from "well if you find the perfect church, it will stop being perfect once you visit" and "pastors are human beings too, they all make mistakes and say the wrong things" but it's kind of ironic that those same people will tell you to obey those very same pastors because they are in authority over you! I am relistic, I know that there is no such thing as the perfect church, but I just want to be in a place where the truth from the WORD OF GOD is preach and where people are living in victory!! Why do we make so many excuses for the Church?!?! Do we not serve a LIVIING GOD who DIED TO SAVE US FROM THE POWER OF SIN AN DEATH AND BRING US INTO NEW LIFE?!?!?

My heart has broke a million times over!! I have felt like an out-cast, weirdo and trouble maker. But when I get alone with God I hear "Precious child, friend of God, robed in My righteousness"

The last time that I had a good crying fit over the condition of the church the Lord comforted my heart and showed me that HE was not sitting up in heaven wrining HIS hands over the condition of the Church, but HE sees it all and HE has a time already set WHEN IT WILL ALL COME TO AN END!!! With the slightest breath from heaven, He will bring the whole things down. He also said that He has given me eyes to see what it happening to pray and interceed because MANY will be crushed when it all comes down. We are not to gossip or criticize, but PRAY for eyes to be open!! Remember Jonah...He wanted judgment to fall, but did not desire that they repent. But the Lord is so merciful and loving that HE was compassionate toward them because they were like cattle. Isn't that a picture of the sick Church?? They are like cattle following hirlings to hell!! Pray and interceed and never lose the compassion of God for lost people!!

In HIM,

Tina

For some odd reason practice what your Preaching comes to mind.

I'm so disappointed in institutional church. I don't want to live.

I am reminded of something I wrote in the back of my Bible a while back...

Look at people too much, you'll be upset.
Look around too much, you'll be distracted.
Look within too much, you'll be discouraged.
Keep looking to Jesus, you'll be confident and peaceful.

Isaiah 26:3
Hebrews 12:1-2

In Christ,

Ron

Hold fast Dian. You and your husband's testimony of God's faithfulness is still being written. We are praying for you both.

MC

I'm so disappointed in institutional church. I don't want to live. Dian.

Be encouraged!! We are all here! Are you going to allow the actions of a few people to get you down? There is a remnant church that is out there on the front lines for God. I would encourage you to download and read this pdf file of some current events with the church in [url=http://mp3.biblebase.com/details.php?file=438]Smyrna. [/url] It is one of the most sobering documents I have ever read. Since I read this- I've been having some pretty good days. Been very thankful for my life.

God Bless,

-Robert

Are you going to allow the actions of a few people to get you down?

Amen. It is good that we diligently test all things but when the test results tempt us to dispair we also remember to hold fast that which is good.(Thessalonians 5:21). Having heard firsthand just some of your own remarkable testimony it is clear there are many awesome works of God to hold on to...even now they are still unfolding! Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. (Psalm 107)

Maybe there is some appropriate encouragement in this quote from J.C. Ryle.

Let us see that we each lay hold upon Jesus Christ for ourselves by our own personal faith. Let us see to it that we each flee for refuge and lay hold upon the hope set before us in His glorious Gospel. Let us do this, and all shall be well with us, whatever else may go ill. Let us do this, and then all things are ours. The Church may fail. The State may go to ruin. The foundations of all establishments may be shaken. The enemies of truth may for a season prevail; but as for us, all shall be well. We shall have in this world peace, and in the world which is to come life everlasting, for we shall have Christ.

And let's also patiently pray that in God's grace these brothers/leaders become convicted of the way their conduct affects the congegation they are watching over.

Blessings sister,

MC

Dear Diane,

I am praying, how much that is worth I know not--but I am.

Upon providence I came upon this post, and by reason of studies I don't have leisure to spend days in editing it before I submit a reply (not as if that would make it the more profitable). Upon reading your experiences, my only thoughts are perservence.

Today, my husband and I went to our church. Our youth pastor is engaged to a girl who lives 4 hours away. She was there today. I asked her where she stays when she comes to town and she said she stays with him. I was speechless.

Pro 18:13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

I am all but sure you have just cause to presuppose the unthinkable, but don't. I could go on a loong rant about the worldliness of a recent youth pastor I met, but let this not hinder our judgment. Talk to the man and woman, get it straight from their lips that they sin--and then answer the matter.

My husband and I had just scheduled a meeting with our pastor to discuss the fact that he and his wife are the only ones handling the money and how we think that isn't right and we aren't comfortable with that,

I confess ignorance towards this situation, but I will say this: walk into this meeting praying and fasting, because money brings out the worst in Christians.

When I told my husband, he just threw up his hands and said, "I'm done!" He doesn't want to deal with all this stuff. He's a new beleiver and he isn't up to all this confrontation.

I understand your husband (seeing he is but a babe in Christ) stumbling at this, but I trust your maturity will not falter. Really Diane, if you drive with me across inner city Cleveland you will see 4 churches to a corner. Because we don't expect the sinful natures in our fellow Christians to manifest themselves towards us, we get hurt, and in bitterness erect a new building--only to repeat the cycle.

Please don't give up or run away from this Diane, Christ’s glory is at stake. The outward world watches o,n and their is victory even over these things in Christ. I trust he shall guide thy paths.

Encourage thy husbands heart
;-)

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and your prayers. Later in the afternoon, my husband called to me to come into where he was and told me he was sorry he had said he wanted to quit. He spoke with the pastor a bit later and clarified his position concerning financial accountability to our satisfaction.

As for the matter concerning the youth pastor, my husband asked me to hold my tongue, for now. He suggested that we pray on it for a while and then see where things stand. I am willing to do what he asks.

Seriously, thanks for praying and for caring. Love, Dian.

What's wrong with her staying with him while she's in town? Their engaged, after all!

I mean, seriously, I don't see a problem at all. Their adults, not teenagers. If they choose to sin they will be held accountable to God and He may bring it out in the open for them to repent in one way or another if He chooses to.

I mean, is she supposed to stay at a motel?... : )

Them handling the money shouldn't bother you unless they've done something to bring reproach to their testimony-- otherwise...? God's in control-- they'll only steal it with God's oversight (i.e., him allowing it), and if they do steal it-- God may very well bring it out in the open, if not: God is still in control. Just be kind and gentle-hearted to them in all things and let God work through you to them!

Jordan

Be encouraged!! We are all here! Are you going to allow the actions of a few people to get you down? There is a remnant church that is out there on the front lines for God. I would encourage you to download and read this pdf file of some current events with the church in [url=http://mp3.biblebase.com/details.php?file=438]Smyrna. [/url] It is one of the most sobering documents I have ever read. Since I read this- I've been having some pretty good days. Been very thankful for my life.

Dear Robert,

It is difficult to form words, I just pray this gets widely read and prayed for ...

Note: Click on the arrow to the right next to "Downloads"

That's great to hear Dian.

Jordan,

I appreciate the grace you have here bro, still the questions Dian and her husband asked were valid ones.

It was ill-advised for the young lady to bed over at her fiancee's house. He is in leadership afterall.

A few weeks ago I ran into a man who about 15 years ago had confronted me over the very same issue. One night, very tired from work I decided that there would be no harm in just couch-camping over at my future wife's apartment. (She also had a roommate so we weren't alone.) The next morning this older brother saw me as I was walking to my car and confronted me gently but with a clear eye. Years later, when I ran into him I fondly reminded him of his diligence towards me. He tried to shrugged it off but I told him I was thankful for his protecting the honor of my wife and because he was the only one at our church who ever cared enough to say something to me. I told him it was much better then kisses from a decietful flattering person. Dian's pastor will feel the same way...her concern should be his concern.

Regarding the money management, it seems that the matter is resolved. For the record, any time a single man has unilateral autocratic control over public or community assets, corruption is sure to follow without exception. Knowing this, no sensible man would want to be placed in such a dubious position. A sensible man would desire transparency. ...taking precaution so that no one will discredit us in our administration of this generous gift. 2 Cor. 8:20

It seems that Dian's pastor is a sensible man afterall.

Blessings,

MC

What's wrong with her staying with him while she's in town? Their engaged, after all!

I mean, seriously, I don't see a problem at all. Their adults, not teenagers. If they choose to sin they will be held accountable to God and He may bring it out in the open for them to repent in one way or another if He chooses to.

I mean, is she supposed to stay at a motel?... : )

you are right they are adults, not teens. This is a youth pastor, he is a example to the youth.
Although he is not a teen, if one of teens saw them they might think this is ok thing for them to do.

You are also right they are held accountable to God if they sin. But the question is do we think we can play around with temptation? Who to stay they will be strong to say no? Do we get as close to sinning, or do we try keep as far away from it? It might be a little prideful for someone to stay they are stronger then other people. It just a safe thing to do.

But the biggest thing I see is what it looks like. Even if they never did anything. People will think different. It looks wrong. and it dishonors God.

I mean, is she supposed to stay at a motel?...

well I would say yes, Christ name must be honored. she doesn’t have to stay motel, what about friend or family at the Church?

in his love
charlene

What's wrong with her staying with him while she's in town? Their engaged, after all!

Just because they are adults doesn't mean that they aren't tempted. I think a very important thing to consider is that the bible says to FLEE FROM TEMPTATION. Obviously, 2 people who are engaged are probably going to be tempted on some sort of level, ESPECIALLY IF they are are sleeping in the same house on a frequent basis. God is not going to give us the strength to disobey Him! He tells us flee from temptation, not try to be strong enough to resist it.

Overall, I think it is just WISE to avoid this situation. It's not really a matter of whether or not she'd have to get a hotel, the important thing is what does God think about it? Nothing else matters.