Hi Andy ...
Holy Spirit has not left me alone about your post since you first posted it, and when i awoke this a.m. with your post on my mind i figured i'd better obey ...
Bro i've been where you are, and even after 25+ years of salvation some "whys" about God's ways still creep in ... The only thing now is such ?'s are pretty much dismissed just as qiuckly as they formulate ... And here's why ... Some on this forum have attempted to reason with you regarding your ?'s, but i'm gonna give it to you as stark and as honest as (i believe) Holy Spirit has brought it home to me ...
[u][b]---GOD DOES WHAT HE WANTS!!!---[/b][/u]
... and if you allow Holy Spirit to minister to you via Scripture He'll get you past your self, your logic, and to this very truth ... And if you can't, or don't, i'm here to tell you that the loss of relationship, via faith in Christ, will be to your detriment, but it won't change the fact that God has, still, and will continue to do His own will, and His own plan, whether you, i, or anyone else understands, approves of, or likes it ... This in essence is the bottom line!
This is pretty much how Holy Spirit ministered it to me via the books of Job and Jonah ... Job was a good man, doing all that God wanted, but yet God, because of satan, allowed the devil to take him out for a test drive ... This logically, and in the natural makes no sense whatsoever, i mean why even bother? ... But the bottom line is we all (everything) belongs to God, and within His own will, way and plan, particularly regarding we humans, are expendabe and/or expandable ... Think about it, there is to be a new heavens and a new earth, the FORMER things passing away ... Why? ... Why not with just a single thought renew this old one? ... Because that's not how God wants to do it, no matter how much we might think it a complete waste or expending of far to much of His energy ... Job was a good man, a good father, a Godly man, tho God allowed satan to test Job except to death, his children in God's allowance were expendable ... Ouch! ... Question God via our own logic on this, and we set ourselves up (dangerously) to be God's judge (instead of vice-versa), which Job perplexed tho in a more nicer and humble way than you ... Then what did God do? ... He pulled rank on him ...
[b]Job.38[/b]
[1] Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
[2] Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?
[3] Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.
[4] Where wast thou when I .................................?
Where were you Andy, where was i, or anyone else who dares to Grrrrrrrrrrr at God because His higher ways/plan don't fit our puny logic or understanding? ... i grant you in the natural much of God and His methodolgy doesn't pass our impotent muster, but He already knew there would be some of us prone to trying it anyway, so He answered us before time in Job, and then even showed us in Jonah, for those of us born-again who think that we can escape Him if He's picked us out for a duty that doesn't quite measure up to our liking (or understanding), that yep He's also capable of putting us in a spiritually expandable situation to bring home the point that not only are our arms to short, but our minds as well, to box with Him, and win! ...
[b]Isa.40[/b]
[10] Behold, the Lord GOD will come with strong hand, and his arm shall rule for him: behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him.
[11] He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
[12] Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance?
[13] Who hath directed the Spirit of the LORD, or being his counseller hath taught him?
[14] With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgment, and taught him knowledge, and shewed to him the way of understanding?
[b]Rom.11[/b] (Another tough scripture)
[34] For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counseller?
[35] Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again?
[36] For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.
Andy He's the Alpha (master of our beginning) and the Omega (master of our end), including that of all mankind ... Romans chapters 9 (& 11) still makes my head hurt when i try to understand them, particularly when it's placed in juxstaposion of the Great White Throne Judgement ... Do i understand just how vessels of mercy, and vessels of wrath are chosen in God's soveriegnty? ... Nope, not by a long shot, but let me tell you what i do know ...
[b]1 -[/b] i know i'm no longer interested in even attempting to understand all about God ... That'll never happen on this side because we all see thru a glass darkly, and quite frankly i may not even understand it all on the other side, but i also doubt very seriously that in His glorious presence i'll even be entertaining some of the foolishness i entertain at times in my mind now ...
[b]2 -[/b] i know God does what He wants, and that's now all fine with me ... He's my Creator, and i (you, all) His created ... i don't have to understand His ways/will/plan past the example of who and what i'm supposed to be and do toward Him as exemplified in His Son Christ Jesus, for Jesus said He came to do the will of, and to glorify, the Father, and all the record that He's given us in His Scripture, in particular the NT ... The OT is a wonderful inspiration of faith, and history for me, but as a NT saint i find my do's and don'ts clearly spelled out in the Gospels and the NT ... i am before Him as a little child who believes in "because He said so", and i seek Him because He's a rewarder of we that do ...
[b]3 -[/b] Other than because it pleased Him i don't know WHY God created in the first place, knowing all that He knew, and having to send Christ to die ... And while it might seem, as you put it, a flawed plan, it still does'nt stop the fact that it's His salvation plan whether we understand, or like it ...
[u][b]--- AND IT'S THE ONLY SALVATION PLAN IN TOWN!!!---[/b][/u]
... As i said i don't understand Romans 9 per-se, but here's what i know from it, that i'm a saved by His grace and the blood of Jesus Christ, born-again vessel of mercy, and that's all i need to understand in permanently affixing my adoration, love, loyalty, worship and praise to God our Father, the Lord Jesus Christ and the Lord Creator Holy Spirit is this ... In light of your ?'s i pray that you at least enjoy this position too, and that within it eventually will surrender to ALL TRUST in Him past your anger at not understanding Him ...
[b]4 -[/b] i know i'm commisioned to spread the Gospel, seed throwing, watering too unless He cause another to, in preparation of His TRUTH falling into the spiritual ears/hearts/minds of other vessels of mercy that He will cause to grow ...
[b]5 -[/b] i know that i'm supposed to move in the Spirit when Holy Spirit says move ...
Here's a few links i found in search of "God Does What He Wants To" ... Not much on this subject, but plenty on "What Does God Want Us To Do" (Which is truly the chief question we should all be pre-occupied with ...
[b]God Does Whatever He Wants To[/b]
http://www.torahbytes.org/64-15.htm
[b]GOD'S WAYS[/b]
http://www.pausetoponder.org/godsway.htm
[b]TESTIMONY:[/b]
If you can bear it any further i'd like to share with you from 1991 my last "why" at God ... Why my God fearing dad would die @ 63, but my slacker of a grand-dad (his dad) would live to 93? ... That really irratated me, and it became worse when a saint pretty much said to me that my Dad was expendable at a crucial time in His continual spiritual expansion of myself (God has me in a Pentecostal circle right now and so things like this do get said) ... i must note also in the telling that at the time i was in a pretty good backslidden condition, and it was my dad's death that was very instrumental in snatching me back to Christian reality ...
But here's what became the most important lesson in my alienating from Him, i subsequently found that without Him i'm lost, that i need Him far more than He needs me ... He's my foundation, my Heavenly Father of whom i gave far more honor and glory to my earthly dad than i had Him, and so i had to repent ... i've oft been ridiculed by unbeliever's as one who is weak, and in needs of a crutch in my life when it comes to my faith in Him and Scripture, and i tell them in a heartbeat, to they're amazement, that they're more than right ... i am totally dependant on Him regardless of whether i totally understand Him or not, and i try my best to acknowledge Him in all my ways ... You know since i'm His i believe God is mindful of me to the point that when i'm in error, He will discipline me to His rightness, He says so in scripture ... But here's one last thing i know, me, you, or anybody else can't stop God, or His plan, just because we decide to throw a "i don't understand You tantrum" ...
On this plane, i've come to realize that like Job even tho i may be trying my best to please Him, only He knows if and when i, or my loved ones could be expendable in His will/plan, and i can assure you that all of us are expandable if He decides ...
In closing here's some imagery you might look out while you reponder you Grrrrrrrrr at God, and i pray Holy Spirit will bestow His peace upon you that surpasses all understanding, or lack thereof ...
[b]Hubble Imagery[/b]
http://hubblesite.org/gallery/wallpaper/
[b]As He asked Job ... Let Him ask you: Andy where were you? ... [/b]
Blessings in Christ Jesus, He who is our best example of doing the will of the One that sent Him ... Amen
