what does it mean to be a women and men today?

I Think our veiw in our roles have been massed up. I was talking with a older lady the other day, she was telling us how men should go to the father before talking with a girl... and such

what ways do you think men have failed in their roles as men and for women?

what ways should men act towards women.. such as opening doors....?

what are ways should men deal with women.. if they like them..?
like going to the father, pastor.. to keep her safe?
do we as a Church play a role in keeping the girls safe from men?
and how do our brothers play a role in keeping their sisters safe from men.?
what about the role of leadership with men?
How does at look in Church, family?
How are women and men roles differnt?
In his love
charlene

Charlene,

Interesting questions, you have....and since I am responding off the top of my head, not giving this the benefit of hours of thinking, this is my opinion....

Before we lambast males for their treatment of females, I suggest this rudeness has happened in part due to the way females act! They want to compete with men - everywhere! No matter whether it is in the church,the home, the marketplace, government, military - just everywhere. (Our son was in the US Guard and he no respect for the females in his unit, or in the Guard. Period.)

I am suggesting females start acting like they were created to - to compliment males which means you are to look, work, act in CONTRAST to males (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, of course). Think about that! How would it look like? (And I wonder how many modern females experience the love of their husbands as demonstrated in the Song of Solomon? If they do, I am sure they must be godly females, not the modern one who mimics the Hollywood lifestyle.)

The short of the long is that we cannot change another gender's behavior, but we can clean up our own act and might be surprised by the results.

As I understand the dynamics inherent in female/male relationships, men want to admire females. It is in their nature to do so. But a lot of the young females (EDIT) out there are only interested in the body and care little about their soul, their spirit. BUT they end up with the short end of the stick and get hurt badly. They have destroyed their ability to bond with a male when they do get married and end up with divorces.

God has made females and he called that creation "very good". So it is in our interests (and God's) to live it. We are not inferior, just different so lets develope these characteristics that are uniquely female and see what happens.

The late Adrian Rogers has spoken on the differences between males and females and it has been aired many times on Love Worth Finding radio. This is worthwhile listening to if you have a chance to. LWF often airs it in December...or they used to - have not listened to it lately.

Just my disjointed thoughts...just might come back later with more ideas.

ginnyrose

God's Gracious Design for Women and Men
We summed it up with two definitions: of authority (v. 12) and submission (v. 11).

"Authority" refers to the divine calling of spiritual, gifted men to take primary responsibility as elders for Christ-like servant leadership and teaching in the church.
"Submission" refers to the divine calling of the rest of the church, both men and women, to honor and affirm the leadership and teaching of the elders and to be equipped by them for the hundreds of various ministries available to men and women in the service of Christ.
These definitions are intentionally parallel to the definitions of headship and submission and marriage which we learned from Ephesians 5:

Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
john piper

Ephesians 5:21-23; 1 Peter 3:1-7

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you. Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.

The Pattern Before the Fall

This is the way God meant it to be before there was any sin in the world: sinless man, full of love, in his tender, strong, moral leadership in relation to woman; and sinless woman, full of love, in her joyful, responsive support for man's leadership. No belittling from the man, no groveling from the woman. Two intelligent, humble, God-entranced beings living out, in beautiful harmony, their unique and different responsibilities.

Now Satan knows that this is a beautiful arrangement. He knows that God's pattern of life is designed for man's good. But Satan hates God and he hates man. He is a liar and a killer from the beginning. And so what does he do? This is the fourth observation.
john Piper

So what should we do? Well, men, we should humble ourselves before God for our failures. All of us. This is not a call to exalt yourself over any woman. This is not a call to domineer, or belittle, or to put woman in her place. She is, after all, a fellow heir of God and destined for a glory that will blind us some day. This is a call to stoop down and to take the responsibility to be a leader—a servant leader in the various ways that are appropriate to every different relationship to women.

It's a call to us men

that we should take the risk of getting egg on our faces;
that we should pray like we've never prayed for help in this tremendous responsibility;
that we should be in the Word more than we ever have been to know what God expects of us;
that we should plan things more than we do, and be intentional and thoughtful and less carried along by the mood of the moment;
that we should be disciplined and ordered in our lives;
that we should be tender-hearted and sensitive;
that we should take the initiative to make sure that there is a time and a place to talk to her about what needs to be talked about—this "her" could be a friend, a date, a colleague, a wife, a sister;
that we should be ready to lay down our lives in discharging this responsibility to be the leaders God is calling us to be.
May God continue to teach us and humble us and heal us in all our relationship for his great glory and for our joy.

That manhood and womanhood mesh better in ministry when men take primary responsibility for leadership and teaching in the church.
That manhood and womanhood are better preserved and better nurtured and more fulfilled and more fruitful in this church order than in any other.

For example, manhood is not sexual exploitation. Manhood is not cool, rational unemotionalism. Manhood is not the ruthless task-oriented drive to conquer. Etc. So be liberated, men! On the other hand womanhood is not boring domesticity. Womanhood is not homebound motherhood. Womanhood is not mindless emotionalism. Womanhood is not sexual compliance. Etc. So be liberated, women!

John Piper