Compliments wrote:
Sometimes the best thing to do is to remain silent. I am reminded of the verse that Jesus said:
I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love your Dad very much. I have found in my walk with those who have been angry at me, I would either give a soft word or say nothing at all, most times it was nothing at all.
There is power in doing good to those that can't stand your presense, over time it will reap a harvest.
It seems physically you've done all that can be done, now it's time to give this over to prayer and good works (doing good)
God Bless Your Dad
Bluenote,
I am sad to say I agree with Compliments above, though mostly from my own experience with my Dad over Christianity.
When someone will not hear, it is not that they are closed off to you, but that they see no reason yet to agree with you.
The known is always more agreeable than the unknown, and although my Dad is not Jewish, he was violently against Christianity.
He hated the hypocrisy he experienced in Christianity when he was young, he hated the churches he had been dragged to in his youth, and he hated, intensely, discussing such a personal subject with me.
Once, he finally snapped at me in honesty, "I don't want to have to change!"
From that period on, about 6 years ago, I simply asked my friends to pray for God to open his heart and mind, his ears and eyes; to give my Dad curiousity about what happens after death, and only on rare occasions did I bring up the matter, and then only in a word or two, barely a sentence, knowing I was going to get reamed again, or meet with that brooding resistence that makes your heart ache.
But as the years passed, he became a little more open. I could put in a whole sentence. I could tell him that the only reason I bugged him about it was that I wanted him to be in heaven with me, and not in hell. One of my friends consistantly said the same thing to him when he would complain about me "always talking about God". She simply told him that I was afraid he wouldn't be going to heaven.
My friends and I changed our prayers to have the Holy Spirit convict him of the very real possibility of death (He was in his late 70's), and prayed for his heart to be softened, for him to be called, and I always added on my own prayer, that I would have the witness of his testimony so I would never have to worry about him not being with me in heaven.
My friends continued to pray. I tiptoed around his disbelief, but never stopped walking out my own belief, or talking about little blessings and favors that happened due to prayer to me and to others.
After some time, the curiousity bug got him through the Bible Code books by the athiestic journalist, Michael Drosnin. Had they been by a Christian, he would never have picked them up. I was careful to keep my mouth shut.
The statistical impossibilities of what were published in the science world about what was found there convinced Him of one thing...the Bible was not a lie, not just stories, and not in the least inaccurate. The one special test for the names of the chosen list of Rabbis, and their birth dates and death dates was indisputable to his very logical mind.
So if the Old Testament was true, and the New Testament the completion of the prophecies in the Old, he could begin to see some basis for belief.
Then, I think the matter became one of pride. I can not teach him...He is my father! I casually smuggled into his house another book about the Bible Codes that had Christian doctrine in it, and prayed all the more. He grumbled about the book, but he read it...a bit here, a bit there.
Occasionally, he would ask a brief question, but after the simplest answer, he would shut me up with, "That's enough of that!" And my friends and I, well, we prayed some more.
And one day, to my surprise, He told me that he had already "'said the prayer', and he was converted or saved or whatever", and had been for some time!
And my friends and I celebrated, and began to pray that the Holy Spirit would lead and teach him, for he is the prickliest, most incommunicative man about God!
He took his first communion this past Easter with me leading, and him only saying 'Amen", and barely understands it except that it's a remembrence of Jesus, if he understands that much. He won't read the Bible or go to Church, and hears only a bit or two about God in interviews on TV with Bill O'Reilly, or Sean Hannity, or from talk radio. And he never speaks of it.
When he complains about my behavior, I simply tell him to talk to God about it when he can't sleep at night. And my friend does the same when he complains to her. She'll say, "Have you prayed about it?" in her innocent way, and leave him stumped. But from time to time, she tells me he has said he will.
And since some things are happening in my life that I haven't asked for, I am positive they may both be praying for things about me that I don't know of!
But suddenly it's okay for me to say two or three sentences about Godstuff, as long as I don't do it too often or too 'churchily'. And when I was told to "Write" by Jesus, and started a web ministry, and was ordained, I think my dad went into shock for a few minutes, but all in all, he's handled it.
Last night, I was an hour late for dinner at his house because I had gone to the store, and instead of getting groceries had spent three hours talking to a street minister named Thomas.
And I actually got to tell my Dad about Joseph, and his being sold into slavery, put into prison, etc. because the preacher I had been talking to had been paroled, then sent back in three times for obeying what his Parole officer told him to do, and all three times the Parole Officer had set him up, and even told Thomas he just couldn't stand the sight of him, so he was going back in!
My point is that I was able to actually tell my Dad a Bible story, because I had met a guy who had been treated as Joseph had been, and in all three prisons he went into, Thomas started inter-racial bible study groups, talking to all his brothers in Christ, at meals, in the dorms, in the Yard, which for any of those who may know about men in prison, it is a miracle of God that he wasn't killed, or ever attacked.
I don't know how much my Dad caught of what I was trying to say, but I'm sure the Holy Spirit will fill in the blanks of what ever I didn't explain well, or that he didn't hear well.
Over 6+ years, a lot of prayer, walking softly, and I can barely talk to my Dad about God. I cannot talk about what I am doing without getting yelled at, and I doubt if he reads what I write.
But lately he called me on a matter he thought was spiritual pride, but didn't even know that was the name of it. I was so pleased I didn't bother to explain the whole circumstances, and how when something good happens, you need to give God the Glory. He wouldn't have heard me anyway!
But I can talk about what others are doing. And when I told him why I was late, he actually just laughed, and said not to hurry. Such a change in the man!
But I watch the Holy Spirit working in Him, and I bide my time. My Dad is almost 83 now, and his fragility is showing. If I say too much...He still snaps at me. He's too private a person to share his walk with God with me. But I see him changing a little, softening a little. And I know we will have a lot of fun together in the New Jerusalem.
My brother, don't despair. And don't push so hard that the message goes by him, instead of into him.
He has at least heard you out, I hope. If not, the Holy Spirit can reach him in ways you cannot imagine. And prayer, consistant, regular, and inventive prayer can do wonders.
Don't press too hard. You've planted a seed. And if you don't press him on the subject, since he is not observant in Judaism, you can maintain your relationship. If he continues to refuse to see you, you keep trying to see him, in cheerful obedience to the commandment to honor your father by making sure he's okay on a regular basis. He can't dispute with you on that one!
Continue to pray. In the end, God will answer that prayer, for He is willing that all men come to Him, and God is most willing to give you what you want...your Dad's salvation, for it is a very good thing.
Blessings,
Forrest
