can you people of God pray for me?

Dear jarona, Of course we'll pray. I about came to tears reading your post. Such depression is not from the Jesus Who loves you so.

None of us are "perfect" but, I think our struggles come more from what we believe than anything else ... because the 'mind' is the battlefield.

I don't think getting into "binding and loosing" is a good idea. There are too many things going on out there that are extremes in that area.
Gives the enemy more power than he already has in the believers brain and life.
That "binding and loosing" doctrine would have to be lined up with GOD's Word first.

Demons can't torment a Christian, only their beliefs. They can oppress by "lies" that we wind up believing, but the N.T. is loaded, Full of where we are seated with Christ in Heavenly places and all authority is given us and so on and so on, with all the mumbo-jumbo of most "spiritual warfare" teachings. Those 'will' mess you up.

I'm only saying this from years of teaching on this stuff and seeing the extremes in this teaching. It really can rob you of His Victory, in your mind.

If you could ... could you get a blank book and just start writing with a pen, any verses that pop out to you about the Positive side of what Christ has done for you.

That's the "tranforming and the renewing of your mind".

Nothing more need be done, but being transformed by the renewing of your mind by His Word.
I did this once when being in a position of spiritual depression and I still have the journal book with all the great verses in it.

It doesn't happen over night, but His Word doesn't go out void.
Don't focus on all these things you've listed but look to Jesus - The Author and Finisher of your Faith. Have faith, that the work HE has begun in you HE will complete and GREATER is HE that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Satan or demons are Only "created" beings ... You/we have The CREATOR inside and on our side.

You may want to read Jesse Penn-Lewis' book, 'The War on the Saints' too. It's helped a lot of folks going through this stuff and will help you to help others also.

Will be praying Jaron and just don't give up "hope" - it's our Anchor and post a lot if you need to - being "in" the Body is the healthiest thing you can do ... that will occupy your mind with the GOOD and you'll be with the Saints at the same time. You're a Saint too ... don't let the lies tell you you're not.

And know we're praying. Amen.

Look Up. He Loves you.

edit P.S. - meant to tell you that the book I mentioned has been updated to get a misunderstanding out of it ... it appeared as though "christians could be possessed" but they Can't! So they edited the newer version to clarify.
The LORD of HOSTS is on your side. Stay well.

It's a privilege to pray for each other.

I just felt the LOVE GOD has for you as I read your post.

Here's the book on line here.

https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/articles/index.php?view=article&aid=1681

LORD Bless you.

Eph 1:2 Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Eph 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:
Eph 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
Eph 1:5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
Eph 1:6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Eph 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Eph 1:8 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;
Eph 1:9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
Eph 1:10 That in the dispensation of the fullness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:
Eph 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
Eph 1:12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.
Eph 1:13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise,
Eph 1:14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
Eph 1:15 Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,
Eph 1:16 Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers,
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Eph 1:17 That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
Eph 1:18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
Eph 1:19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,
Eph 1:20 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,
Eph 1:21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:
Eph 1:22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,
Eph 1:23 Which is his body, the fullness of him that filleth all in all.