What I Used To Be- God's Power Made Real In Me

Christ said that the person who has been forgiven much will love and appreciate Him more. am living proof. I remember, ashamedly, a time where I was in a pathetic state. I denounced God, (although I was neither intellectual or informed) I stole, lied, cheated, and my mouth was filthy. There were 2 seperate occasions where I was arrested, one ended me up in jail for a week. On a couple of different occasions, I took random pills to try and forget my pain. One of those times I nearly OD'd and the only possible explanation for why I'm here is God's grace.I was addicted to pornography- in the worst way. I first was exposed to it at 10. From then on, it was a need. It got to where I would lust after catalogues if I didn't have the actual material. Even after I was saved that was a stronghold. I am ashamed to say that my heart was corrupted by those things and their affect will last until sweet rapture. It's a consequence. I took something from a girl that I can never return. I hate my flesh and I hate all that this society crams down our throats.My religious beliefs came from secular bands like Nirvana and Metallica and rap music. GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS WORLD!! Our mistakes, our sin, our past, it's all gone!! Jesus Christ payed the price. I have never seen The Passion, but whenever I see or hear accounts of the crucifixion, I remember all that I have done and I literally weep. I think even worse to me than my past is all I've done AFTER I've tasted God's mercy and forgiveness. In myself I am still selfish. Thoughts come into my head that I hate- but they're there. I am weak and the only thing that can work is God's power. I don't deserve it--- I deserve to go to hell and burn but God is a God of love and He deserves the highest praise and it's my goal to praise Him no matter if I fail or if I suffer or what... I serve God. Jesus Christ payed my debt with His sweat, tears, and blood. His power is shared with me, and He deserves praise for who He is. He is righteous- I am not- I am a servant of God and it is an honor- a privelege to be forgiven and accepted into His family.IN CHRIST :-)

Christ said that the person who has been forgiven much will love and appreciate Him more. am living proof.2 Cor. 12:9a (Amplified version)But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [1] show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.The story of my life, right there.I am ashamed to say that my heart was corrupted by those things and their affect will last until sweet rapture. It's a consequence.To a certain extent it may continue to affect you, unless the Lord sees fit to erase it from your memory, but it needn't have the slightest dominion over you. I was grievously in bondage to lust and sexual addiction for several years before my conversion (or at least what I thought was my conversion, I don't really think so now), and I remained bound by it to a significant degree until a year and some months later. But then God broke the stronghold, shattered it, overnight. To my shame I did backslide into it about 4 months later, but God later gave me victory again. Now there are significant lengths of time where I'm hardly even tempted, particularly if I'm not around women. I don't hate sin as much as I ought, which may be a lingering effect, but by God's grace (and that alone) I at least don't succumb to it.I hate all that this society crams down our throats.If you're referring to the abominable lust-oriented advertising/entertainment/etc, I say amen.GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS WORLD!!Amen!In myself I am still selfish.Truly? If it was your duty to die for another, as it was Christ's, would you do it? If God clearly and unmistakably asked you to give something up, anything at all, would you do it? If you answer 'yes,' your selfishness is probably at the least subordinated to God-centeredness.Thoughts come into my head that I hate- but they're there.Jesus was tempted. He didn't sin.He is righteous- I am not-1 John 3:7Little children, let no man deceive you. He that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous.I am a servant of God and it is an honor- a privelege to be forgiven and accepted into His family.An immeasurable, inestimable, unfathomable, exhilirating, glorious honor. To think that He my King would die for me...In Him,-Keith

God bless you brother. I am weak and the only thing that can work is God's power. I don't deserve it--- I deserve to go to hell and burn but God is a God of love and He deserves the highest praise and it's my goal to praise Him no matter if I fail or if I suffer or what... You know I believed this lie that once you became a Christian, you had to somehow maintain it in your own strength, in your own power. God calls us to live a holy life but only through the power of Holy Ghost. Our power apart from him doesn't amount to a hill of beans, as we used to say in KY.He has the power to change you as you surrender your life to Him. I know in my heart he revealed things I didn't know were there and he broke me and I would literally weep for days. I would cry out, "Lord take this thing out of my heart. I don't care if it kills me. Burn it, cut it, chop it, I don't care Lord but I just want to be free to serve you with my whole heart." I don't believe everything is gone yet but He will finish it in your heart, as well as mine as long as we yield to Him. Our focus is never on our weakness, it's on Christ and His power. If we focus too much on our weakness, we will have some struggles that God never intended. Focus only on Christ brother and he will be your strength. Because God created us to worship and serve Him with our whole heart, there's this hole that only He can fill. I'm not talking about humanism but I'm talking about this relationship with the living God that is possible through Christ's death on the cross.Thanks for sharing what the Lord has done and is doing in your life.

Thank both of you! The input in these helps me. God bless you! And I love God and will grow- I am not dwelling on my past only making it known- God has been so good to me. I LOVE HIM SO!!

I think it worthwhile to say that I love God-more than I could ever say. This post is my testimony. I don't dwell on my mistakes and they are not a stumbling block. I do appreciate the verse that tells me I am righteous if I do what's right and thru Christ. I always went with "There is none righteous, no not one."I simply want to tell anyone who reads this that I can do absolutely nothing apart from Christ. This testimony is God's power, made real in me. It is not me focusing on my weaknessess, but glorying in them, for when I am weak, then I am strong!! (2 Corinthians 12:10)