Blessed is he that watcheth.

Greetings to AllI came here seeking to console myself in the coming of our Lord Jesus by way of listening to David Wilkerson's recount of his, "Vision", which led me to this site via an internet search. I am 51, a failed businessman, an inept investor in the stock market, and basically without an income since last August. I have a wonderful wife and three beautiful children (ages 16, 14, & 11). I am very grateful and thankful to God that I had income enough to send all 3 to Christian Schools from pre-k on. I love God, and without God, I am nothing. I am tired. I am a Christian.I would never have thought that I, as a Christian, would ever be depressed. And yet, I have gone through extended depression over the past ten years. Many bad things happened to me in many different areas of my life. One could say sins, but not mine, caused it, or, to quote Shakespeare: "I am more sinned against than sinning." Sure, I self-examined myself and questioned my worth as a human, my failures, my human frailties, my sins, and my shortcomings, as one is apt to do in a depression. Yet through it all I maintained a trust in God and a Joy in what Jesus has accomplished for me. In fact, in my pain, I sought Him all the more and took comfort in Him. Finally, as hard as it is, I tried to take my eyes off my misfortunes, and myself, and turn them upon Jesus. And I account those who wronged me as if they have not wronged me, and I thanked Him for the good that I truly have, and even for the pain that brings me ever closer to Him. And my favorite hymn has become: When you’re down from all that glitters. When your thoughts have a hollow ring. When you can't escape from the feeling your getting it wrong. All your foolproof plans seem foolish. All your status has become status Quo. All you really need to know is where you belong Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace

Welcome to SermonIndex ArtB,God bless you brother. We're here to help each other grow in the Lord and I want to pray for you. I would suggest reading Brother Dave's most recent book "Knowing God by Name."I had depression for 20 years and I know how painful life must be for you right now. One of God's names is Jehovah-rophe (the God who heals see Exodus 15:26) and we're going to seek deliverance for you.I'll be happy to share my own life with you and pray that the Lord will set you free. Feel free to drop me a line and I'll be more than happy to pray for you or call and pray for you.

Hello Art,You have not come here by accident. We are all here seeking more of the Lord. I pray that you will be blessed by the sermons as well as the fellowship.Here to encourage, edify, uplift, and exhort! :-) Satisfied in Him alone, Chanin

I gladly welcome your prayers Gideons. I have read and appreciate your "Testimony'. God has been very good to me also.Hello "more of Him", or should I call you Chanin? Yes, growth in, and closeness to, the Lord is good. I'm Pleased to meet you via this forum.

I am 51, a failed businessman, an inept investor in the stock market, and basically without an income since last August.When the world's tenuous support drops out from under us, we can see God's support much more clearly. I have some idea, only a little one, of what you're going through, and I'm sorry for the pain that is so pervasive in this world, but sometimes what seems like utter disaster is great blessing indeed.I love God, and without God, I am nothing. I am tired. I am a Christian.How I've longed for rest, true rest; how tiring life is. You've had something like twice as long to be exhausted... but either of us would only be truly spent if we were not looking to God as our ultimate and infinite source.I would never have thought that I, as a Christian, would ever be depressed.I wonder what we would call the mental state of our Lord at Gethsemane. Or that of the Apostle Paul in the depths of his sufferings. Or that of Moses in those 40 years before the burning bush.I wonder if the sloth of the modern "church" is not due to a lack of anguish, a lack of depression to put it one way. It's becoming clear to me that the primary thing I lack is anguish. Such horrid things are occuring and will occur, but I am not travailing over them. The world is full and overflowing with blackest sin, and the majority of people today are going to hell if they don't repent, including members of my own family. I care, but nowhere near to what I should care.And yet, I have gone through extended depression over the past ten years.If we're not right with God, or His will is not being done in our lives because something is impeding us, then we should not be satisfied. False and premature satisfaction may be one of our greatest enemies. Some of my favorite words from Brother Ravenhill are "We are still paddling on the edge of the ocean of the possibilities of grace. Put a holy dissatisfaction in us tonight."Nonetheless, I'm sorry for the pain you've been in. Depression is no stranger to me.Sure, I self-examined myself and questioned my worth as a human, my failures, my human frailties, my sins, and my shortcomings, as one is apt to do in a depression.Indeed, questions of worth and usefulness and the like are common attacks by the enemy. The matter of our worth, I belive, was decided quite some time ago. God was willing to endure humiliation, drudgery, torture, betrayal, and the agonies of hell that we might be saved. That's how much we mean to Him.Yet through it all I maintained a trust in God and a Joy in what Jesus has accomplished for me.On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all else is sinking sand... :)In fact, in my pain, I sought Him all the more and took comfort in Him.When we see our need of Him, and come to Him knowing full well in mind and heart that He's the only way...Finally, as hard as it is, I tried to take my eyes off my misfortunes, and myself, and turn them upon Jesus.Oh Blessed Savior, Oh Blessed Lord. We broke Your divine heart with our sin, and yet You forgave us and gave Yourself up for us. Such a sweet sight is Thy face.And I account those who wronged me as if they have not wronged mePraise God. What is it to be wronged? Why should we even be fazed by the most abject cruelty? Let us respond with all the abject kindness that our Lord showed us.and I thanked Him for the good that I truly have, and even for the pain that brings me ever closer to Him.Ingratitude may be our most pervasive sin, I think we could spend our days in prayers of thankfulness and never run out of things to thank Him for.I rejoice to see another of the body of Christ here, Brother. May God use us all individually and together as He wills. Please let me know if there's anything I may do for you.May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering,-Keith

Many thanks Keith for your comforting, and most thoughtful and kind, response. I did not expect such quality, God honoring, and dare I say - loving - responses as I received on this forum. I'm more acustomed to the reviling ridicule, browbeating, and insults that I received when I debated evolutionists and atheists on the internet.

I did not expect such quality, God honoring, and dare I say - loving - responses as I received on this forum. I'm more acustomed to the reviling ridicule, browbeating, and insults that I received when I debated evolutionists and atheists on the internet. I'm well familiar with that kind of internet discussion. The internet is a form of incomplete communication uniquely suited to be unloving. The existence of this community and the spirit that pervades the discussions is radically different than anywhere else online that I've seen (including the so-called "Christian" boards are often snake pits, though I'm sure there are some other good ones out there). And it's not because we all agree or never say anything controversial or confrontational; on the contrary I think I've seen people cut deeper here than anywhere else because they're not trying to do harm, they're trying to do good.The maturity and spirit here may well be a compelling argument for the existence of God, I can't think of any other way people could be so kind to each other online.Praise be to the Living God,-Keith

Welcome Art!So glad you found the site. It has been a continual blessing to many, a source of encouragement and true growth to the Body, to me it is 'Church' in the truest sense of the word.______________________________________________Keith-Brother...Wow, what an encouragement your words are. Haven't been to too many forums, have seen a bit of what you speak of though and have heard of the horror storys, of boards being shut down due to infighting and the like. I truely believe the Holy Spirit is at work here.Just recieved this and thought it was appropriate:"Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them: show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others. If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subjects of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration they say just what they think. Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved intercourse with God." ... François Fénelon (1651-1715) http://www.cqod.org/

Oh Great. I have read a few posts and listened to a few sermons at this site. My pain has just gone up a few notches. Prior to coming here, I was on a journey seeking and expecting a significant financial blessing and a particular Christian ministry from God. However, in light of the above, my once self considered STRONG point, being a Christian, is rather on shaky ground, leaving me to muse on "What is man, that You take thought of him ..." Perhaps my Christian home is made of straw after all, and I'm not in a place where God can bless me as I have so desired. Still I love Him so: Our Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and I am still in a place to be under Their mercy.

Dear Art,Like I said before:You have not come here by accident. :-D May the Lord's will be done in your life, may He continue to move you to where He wants you to be. May every spiritual blessing be yours as you seek His will. You are loved and lifted up, Art.Satisfied In Him alone, Chanin