Healing the soul

My dear brethren,

It has been quite some time since I have joined in here at SI. I began praying the "whatever it takes" prayer some time ago. This came about on the anniversary of the sinking of the titanic. I know this because of a thread on this subject that lead to a member website, that lead to a link to the testimony of the wife of the former owner of the Dallas Cowboys. [url=http://www.annemurchison.com/testimony.htm]Read it here.[/url]

As a result of this prayer I began experiencing some extreme inner battles. My purpose here is not to detail my own journey, but rather, to share a "revelation" concerning healing. It was so immediate that I was compelled to grab paper and pen and write it down before I lost the urgency.

My favorite scripture passage is the following:

[color=000099]Eph 3:14-21 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, [b]That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;[/b] That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end.
Amen.[/color]

The following is what I wrote (almost) verbatim.

[color=336600]"Wounds, emotional wounds from deep in our past become unacknowledged festering infections buried in our soul. Our loving Heavenly Father longs to heal these wounds and set us free. But just as an infected cut is very painful to touch, the very thought of touching upon this internal pain is so fearful that we run from it. In essence it can cause us to become spiritually skittish and avoid the inner work of healing the Holy Spirit wants to do.

For those of us who truly desire to walk in the fulness of God's ways, bearing eternal fruit, being Spirit filled/lead etc, It is absolutely [i]imperitave[/i] that this pain buried in our soul be removed.

The method God uses to accomplish this is not pleasant. Hence the reason why so many sincere Christians don't seem to grow beyond a certain point. Inner healing requires spiritual surgery. The Holy Spirit, as surgeon, using the scalpel of the Word of God, begins to cut right to the core, seperating soul and spirit. As He does this, we begin to see not only the pain we feel, but more importantly we also see our own culpability for it. This is painful in and of itself, for we come to understand that the pain we feel is actually caused, not by the actions of someone else or some ancient event, but by our own response to it. Healing can only occur when we [i]repent[/i] (often in tearful anguish) for our sins of harboring bitterness and unforgiveness. When we confess [i]our sin[/i] God is faithful to forgive us and to [i]cleanse us from all unrighteousness."[/i].[/color]

In His Love,

Thanks dear sisters for your replies,

I grieve somewhat that the body of Christ would rather argue over finer points of doctrine than openly discuss matters of the heart. As I read the scriptures I see that many of the instructional passages pertain directly to interpersonal relationships. Both of the over-riding commandments are specifically relational. Love God, Love your neighbor. What is love if not relational?

The thing that people seem unwilling to acknowledge is that old wounds impact our ability to love.

May I ask all who read this a question? In your opinion, why is it that we are so quick to debate our views on Calvinism or post/pre-trib rapture, while threads pertaining to the inner life seem to go nowhere?

What I am attempting to discuss here is the issue of emotional pain. What part does it play in the life of a Christian, in the life of the Church?

Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

In His Love,

Doug

I recently went through a very difficult time as well. As I look back on the experience, it was years of not dealing with emotional “stuff” by taking it all to Jesus (and choosing to live in denial of those emotions), that compounded and made me vulnerable to anorexia as a way of escape when it all became unbearable. But finally dealing with the pain drove me to the feet of Jesus. And as I sat at His feet, He would give me songs of healing and freedom, that I would sing over and over through many, many tears. I experienced the very real tenderness of the Lord towards His hurting ones. It was surgery – but it was so very gentle.

As a believer I don’t think that my life should be governed by my emotions or that I should use my emotions to excuse any area of un-Christlikeness in my life. But neither should I try to pretend that I don’t sometimes hurt. After all,

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

So I come to Him in my weakness, and receive His strength and healing.

Thank you for sharing so openly Brother.

Danielle

Sunday afternoon I went out to lunch with a brother from church. I was attempting to go beyond the cordial Sunday morning handshake greetings and form the beginnings of a relationship with a little more depth.

I did most of the talking, sharing some of my story and being open and honest about some of the struggles I've gone through in my faith. I've always believed that friendship can only occur when we allow some degree of vulnerability to to be part of the equation.

At the end I mentioned that I had hoped to hear some of his story, apolgizing to some degree for dominating the conversation. His comment was that all his "stuff" was in the past and there was no point in rehashing any of it. His countenance was closed and distant.

The Apostle Paul does indeed state that he "forgets what is behind, and presses forward toward the higher calling in Christ," so I understand how we can come to this conclussion.

But what happens when that past has caused us to shut down emotionally? What happens when we won't let people get close to us? As Christians we are called to love each other [i]fervently[/i]. As I go through life I find so little warmth in the way the brethren relate to each other, so little compassion, but rather a carefully held distance.

Tha sad reality is this brother is currently seperated from his wife. All the fault does not lay at his feet, but I can't help wondering if his belief that the past has no bearing on the present hasn't played a significant role in this relationships decline.

I truly believe that many many well meaning Christians have "emotional hang-ups" that they haven't confronted because "the past is the past." As I stated in my first post, old wounds tend to get sore, just as an infected cut. It isn't surprising that we deny the existance of this pain. However, if we sincerely desire to obey God and seek to become as Christ-like as possible, doesn't it follow that we must remove every hindrance?

I continue to desire dialogue about this area. What place does emotional healing have in the body? How does one help others "open up". What do you believe are God's method's for removing these types of hindrances? Do you agree or disagree with my comments?

In His Love,

Doug

[color=0000CC]Isaiah 61:1-3 "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor; [/color]
[color=000066] [i]He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;[/i][/color] [color=0000CC]
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;[/color]
[color=000066][i]To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;[/i] [/color][color=0000CC]
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." [/color]

This scripture reads like a mission statement of Christ's incarnation and ultimate sacrifice. Notice how much of it concerns emotional distress?

In His Love,

Doug

Hi Dorcas and thanks for your thoughts,

I didn't mean to say that the original source of our pain wasn't due to someone else sinning against us. Ony that the ongoing pain that we still feel results from us harboring unforgiveness/resentment/bitterness etc.

This understanding came as the result of some anguished prayer over my own inability to cast off some of the pain from my past. I had discovered that I still had a deeply buried and mostly ignored/denied inner RAGE! It came bubbling out one day (fortuneately I was alone) and I knew if I was ever to grow more in Christ that I had to confront it. I wept bitterly before the Lord, beseeching Him to show His deliverence.

At some point I remembered the testimony referenced in post one. She talked about grieving over the pain, but also about repentance. It just came so clear that it was my sin now for hanging on to the anger. I cried out in repentance and have discovered an amazing freedom when thinking about those old sources. Now I can "forget" the past and press on toward that higher calling...

Because of my awareness of how deeply impactful our actions can be upon another human heart, I have come to define sin, at least in part, as those actions and/or attitudes that cause harm to another (or oneself). I believe, because God is love, that this is how and why God classifies something as sin.

Note that I did not say actions that cause pain. Sometimes pain is good. My behind sure was in pain every time I got spanked as a child. There is also a biblical proverb to the effect that "faithful are the wounds of a friend."

As far as telling someone else about our hurt, detailing whatever awful things we may have encountered, I am not so sure it is necessary. The Holy Spirit is also called the Councilor. He knows all too well of the source of our bitterness and will help us to see it if we are willing to look. "Search me O God...and see if there be any way of pain in me."

Time constraints are upon me so I must go for now.

YO MEN! WHAT SAY YE? So far there's been responses from...Jeanette, Annie, Danielle and Linn. What gives? I know y'all have an opinion!

Blessings to all,

Doug

Hey bro,

I truly believe that many many well meaning Christians have "emotional hang-ups" that they haven't confronted because "the past is the past."

Well, I think we understand that we are hung up, not because the past is in the past, but because it is very much with us today. We are reluctant to face either our sin or our hurts, because we do not believe we there is a sufficient answer for either in Christ.

The problem can be aggravated by two kinds of (well-meaning)counselors.

1) Those who are quick to remind one another of the law can be doing more harm then good. The law can raise a dead conscience, but it cannot deal with the old man. We must allow one another to enter into the rest of Christ's righteousness...specifically sharing into the death and ressurection as described in Romans and Collossians. Notice that it is the old man that must be allowed to be crucified...the cross is first for sinners. It makes no sense to insist that you must be ressurected first before going to the cross of Christ...yet many preach exactly this sequence today. I believe the result of this is not only are some sinners prevented from entering in...but also some believers are also prevented from entering into His rest.

2) Those counselors who paint a picture of healing wherein we become 'whole' in ourselves. My fervent belief is that, we cannot tell people they will be whole as the secular conselors describe wholeness...that is to become self-sustaining. You can always tell when a well meaning Christian has been influenced by spiritless counseling, when they describe wellness as self-sustaining. Instead the Christian finds their only wholeness in abiding with Christ. If we would try to walk on our own...with no more need for the forgiveness of God to cover our shameful mistakes, we are working contrary to the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Like Jacob, our limp is a reminder of our encounter with God.

Too many times we try to talk people out of their sorrow. The truth is that a man resting in God can say yes to the acknowledgement of his own sin, and can accept the consequences of failure, even from others, giving him not a sentimental view of these things, but a clear eye on right and wrong without self-righteousness. Our mistakes can be "aquaintances with sorrow" allowed by God. They have been allowed by God to take away our illusions of the riches of this world. (At least we can believe Romans 8)

As a result, we cannot over-labor the law or over-trust secular counselors. Though they both may have some compassionate techniques, and good intentions, by their nature, can only stir up pain or seek to heal pain. Neither can invite the old man and his sins to be crucified in Christ and therefore cannot be concerned with seeing a broken man ressurected in Christ Jesus.

Only the broken man can find rest in God. (Brokenness does not mean lying in self-pity which is ultimately rooted in pride, but in giving up on all hopes of self-righteousness...something only the Holy Spirit can work into a heart.) True rest does not try to 'get over' past mistakes, but instead recognizes that they have been used by God to help the soul become more dependent on Christ's righteousness and His life, for which all men would otherwise remain ignorant of their deperately need. Indeed, it is the work of the Holy Spirit to take away our illusions of self-sufficiency, both spiritually, and I believe emotionally. Peace through self-sufficiency is indicative of both the law and secular counseling in themselves. Yet any peace that takes us away from utter dependency in Christ, both emotionally, and spiritually, remains delusional.

The true abiding peace we look for is beyond the power of the fair law or well-meaning secular counseling. It is found only in abiding with Christ. Yet many of us who believe still do not abide...why?

Just my 2 cents bro. The issue we face is not that we need some additional healing outside of the original Gospel...but that the circumference of the Gospel as we understand it needs to be enlarged so as to include a reckoning not just for the world's sins...but for those sins that I have done and have been done to me.

MC

Compton,

Wow! You have added some worthy thoughts to this issue. All I can say is Amen and Amen. I was making the basic assumption that what you have written was understood here at SI. I'm glad you made your point so succinctly, as I recognize now how much it needed to be said. Indeed, what is in my heart is to find a way to help people discover just how truly awesome is that inner life when we surrender completely to the cross and find that we didn't lose our life but found it. This is, as you said, the only true wholeness and source of healing.

Blessings in Christ,

Doug

Hi Linn,

My apology to you, but try as I might I couldn't get the slightest whiff of your being patronizing. :-o You'll just have to try harder!

Alas, there are so many different approaches out there that attempt to find a solution to this arena of inner pain. Rightfully, conservative Christians have turned away from these secular approaches but in so doing have failed to seek out how to minister to the hurting via God's method's. This is the age old problem of the baby and the bathwater. I so long to get ahold of God's heart in this matter. To then impart the incredible depth of His love to others and watch them blossom into true Oaks of Righteousness.

This is why I wanted to open this discusson. I have a degree of understanding in this regard, yet feel I have so much to learn. I know one thing, I learned more by going through this than I ever would have by reading a book. I glean a little as well from those (like yourself) who have also had these struggles and have come through by God's hand.

[color=000099]2 Cor 1:3-113 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation. 8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, 10 who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, 11 you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many.[/color]

This passage gives me great comfort in knowing that there is purpose behind the pain and suffering. That we may give comfort and hope to those still afflicted.

Bless you sister,

Doug

Doug,

As you hinted at below, this thread, and any conversation regarding "healing" in the church often reveals a gender gap. To put it frankly, women own this topic. I think it's how the question of 'healing' is framed around pain instead of character.

Our 'wellness' isn't measured by our feelings, emotional or physcological, but by our character. I say that as one of the more 'sensitive' men you'll ever know! ;-)

And that was the beginning. Straight after 'church', I made a bee-line for an elder who seemed to be aware someone needed to speak to him. Unknown to me, he had intimate knowledge of aspects of hurt which were relevant to my history, and there began to put some context to parts of my past which were a great surprise to me.... I mean.... I had thought I was 'normal'.

You see sister, this is a concern to me. I too have had people presume to see my inner pain, even in the form of 'a word of knowledge.' I was annoyed, but not surprised, because people who specialize in inner healing also believe everyone needs it. However, I couldn't allow them to penetrate me in this invasive fashion. It seemed...well unhealthy.

I''m not dismissing any ones pain, but if we think we can groom our inner-selves, extracting all the bad stuff and leaving only the good, we are only going to be frustrated. (One sister recently described the sensation of trying to scrub clean a dirt floor...) At the risk of sounding glib, we can't be fixed...we need to be replaced with Christ Jesus in our character, and this is a transaction that modern counseling is not set up for.

About the gender gap; many women...and a few men in leadership...think they can repair men with nursing which is often the worst medicine. Instead men must be disciplined and trained by other men who are stronger, smarter and more mature then they are, both in physical and spiritual things. Mentorship is the 'healing' ministry men need for their shriveled hearts. This guidance is the love men ultimately respond to...and all the clinical insight into a man's soul won't replace the lack of mature friendship and manly instruction in the Church. Rugged and selfless descipling relationships between loyal men, is the prescribed way of Godly manhood, and a motherly method of inner healing that causes men to become introspective victims is simply unhealthy and fruitless.

Blessings,

MC

Compton, you wrote-

About the gender gap; many women...and a few men in leadership...think they can repair men with nursing which is often the worst medicine. Instead men must be disciplined and trained by other men who are stronger, smarter and more mature then they are, both in physical and spiritual things. Mentorship is the 'healing' ministry men need for their shriveled hearts. This guidance is the love men ultimately respond to...and all the clinical insight into a man's soul won't replace the lack of mature friendship and manly instruction in the Church. Rugged and selfless descipling relationships between loyal men, is the prescribed way of Godly manhood, and a motherly method of inner healing that causes men to become introspective victims is simply unhealthy and fruitless.

My brother, I agree and disagree with you when it comes to men and healing. Men have a biological difference from women in our brain structure. While in the womb, the brain develops the same in both genders for a while, but at some point prior to birth the male fetus will develop and release testosterone. This hormone actually "washes" the brain and destroys many of the inter-connective tissue between its two halves. This accounts for women being more 'in touch" with their emotions. In men, these differing aspects are compartmentalized. This does not mean however that emotional issues can simply be ignored. Men get wounded just as much as women, but due to this brain structure have a much tougher time comprehending the nature of its impact. Unacknowledged wounds often become something akin to a sub-program governing our responses to situations and relationships. This in turn impacts our character.

Our society teaches men to have a tight reign on their emotions. But this tight reign often closes us off from experiencing the fullness of God's love and the fullness of Christian fellowship. If we are closed off in this way, how can we then fully bear the fruit of Godly character?

I agree with you that overcoming these issues is not a matter of being nursed with excessively compassionate coddling and incessant introspection. For years this has been my own error, it lead to self pity and excuses. Some degree of introspection is necessary. Enough to discover those underlying issues and confront them. Without this our hearts will continue to be scaled over with a subconscious self defense mechanism. If I keep you at arms length, you can't hurt me etc.

I am still wrestling with just how to help people, especially men, toward God's version of wholeness and emotional health. Without this inner wholeness though, I am convinced that Godly character is impossible.

Thanks again for participating in this thread, your perspective is invaluable.

In His Love,

Doug

Well Doug and Dorcas,

you have endured my strongest comments regarding this subject with patient grace. :-) Thanks much...I just felt I needed to establish the context I am speaking from.

I also wanted to extend my understanding for those who have given and recieved counseling.

I am still wrestling with just how to help people, especially men, toward God's version of wholeness and emotional health. Without this inner wholeness though, I am convinced that Godly character is impossible.

My first reaction to this statement is to gently challenge the biblicalness of the phrase "inner wholeness." However, I would like to temper my suspicion because it's more then likely we do not have an agreed upon definition of this phrase.

Having offered that small disclaimor, I simply do not see a disparity between 'inner wholeness' and Godly Character, as if one can come without the other...anymore then fire can come without heat and water can come without wetness. We are talking about the power of Godliness afterall.

Now perhaps the phrase, "Godly character", is also suspect ...conjuring fears that I expect men to wipe the blood off of their fattened lip and to keep fighting the good fight like automatons without feelings.

Yet, from my own personal experience I do not believe this. There was a time when I was hurt, and hurting, so desperately, that I wondered if I was going to lose my sanity. I felt as if my soul was like a fish wounded by a shark, trailing a red cloud of blood behind as it floated sickly through life. I felt as if no one around me noticed my wound...except maybe the predators!

Much of my pain was caused by poor moral choices. Yes there were corrupt people in my life who hurt me. But in truth I was often attracted to corrupt people...because I believed their ways could help me more then God's ways.

There came a point where I realized how deeply my own corruption, my own sin was hidden in my heart, and sought out the mercy of God. Indeed, He was waiting for me...before I called he was answering! He poured his abundant grace upon me, and in the desert there flowed in me a revival that I can honestly say has never stopped running through my heart, cleansing and refreshing.

Yet, alas...I learned that a Christian who has made poor moral choices will never be at peace no matter how much counseling and forgiveness he recieves... untill he becomes more like Christ in those areas of sin. Forgiveness, and justification is a sure foundation but everyone, who is in Christ, must put on the New Man or be miserable. We mercy givers want to short-circuit this path...we hand out our emotional coupons to hurting brothers, but the Lord does not honor our misguided bargains. He gives these hurting men more then forgiveness---he gives them the fruit of the Spirit...he gives them peace and longsuffering, integrity and honor, contentment, and love for others before themselves. This fruit, which is given freely in His son, is the only wholeness there is...and holding out for some other wholeness is merely a continuation of the self-interest that got us hurt in the first place.

We Christians are told to put on the New Man as if we can already. This way of moving forward in Godliness is the path to 'wholeness', and not the way of holding back, waiting and hoping for a wholeness outside of Godliness. Some of our brethren do seem too crippled to even begin to walk this path...but we must encourage them to have faith that God does indeed call the lame to leap like a deer.

But, there are many wounded souls who believe they are more godly for their unhealed woundedness, who sort of wear it like a badge of spirituality that they hurt.

Yes, many wounded souls claim to be (edit: lonely and spiritual) out in their wildernesses. Pride is the consolation of many wounded people. But wounded souls may be tempted by other comfort sins. Some give their hearts for the love of money and others medicate themselves with pornography. Now should we say that the cure for these "addictions" is professional counseling but not Godly descipleship? Many in the Church today answer yes!

And in saying yes, I think we are seeing that counseling and inner healing has replaced loving descipleship in the western Church. This is perhaps the simple point I am trying to make.

I appreciate sharing these things here,

Blessings,

MC