Ilya, how are you doing? Welcome to Sermonindex and I hope that things are going well for you :)
I appreciate your honesty in what you shared Ilya. And I hope and look to God with you that He will lead you along and be your help in all things.
Something you wrote caught my attention, where you said
"I'm too busy talking to other people about their faith."
From my own experiences, this made me think that, perhaps sometimes we are eager to be engaged/busy in the things of God, like talking to others about God, for instance, as a way to avoid being engaged by God Himself; that is, as a way to avoid having God deal with us personally.
And one of the ways He could deal with us, is while we are reading His word. You may know this Bible verse already but I'd like to put it up here, in the book of Hebrews where it says
"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
Someone has said that the Bible is the only book that reads you back when you read it. I think that is a pretty neat statement. The word of God is searching, and revealing, and goes down to the deep things in our lives.
But in all that, we need grace from God. We need grace to be willing to open ourselves up to Him and to trust Him.
Well Ilya, whatever the case is for you personally, I wish for you that God may be your help and carry you through.
Grace and peace to you in Christ.
Christopher