I seriously considered committing suicide myself, about 15 years ago. I was the victim of a violent and brutal crime, because I was held hostage and raped and beaten, and came close to being murdered. I tried anti depressants, sleeping pills, nothing could give me peace. I almost went crazy trying to deal with what happened to me. I turned to drugs to cope. I remember staring with trembling hands down the barrel of a 357 thinking my pain and shame would be over if i pulled the trigger. I could hear a voice in my head whispering, do it, do it, do it, over and over. My son was only 14 months old, and came toddling in the room just then, and called out "mommy" and something cracked inside me, and I couldn't do it.
Years later, I met the Lord, got saved and off drugs, and He healed me inside where I hurt so deep. I had a dear friend shoot herself and leave 2 baby boys behind, and another of my closest friends, was murdered while backslid, after being warned by a preacher she'd never met if she did not turn from her ways, they would be burying her soon. She did not listen, and was shot and killed a few months later. I had been praying for her, even with some fasting, and tears, for months. She would not listen.
When my friend died, I could literally hear in my head her voice screaming in torment that she was in hell-I heard this for days. I thought I would go crazy. I cried out to God in desperation for answers and He stopped the screaming in my head, that was probably my own conscience, for I felt like I failed her, and then He spoke to my spirit and said, "If she would not listen to Me why do you think she would listen to you?" I was devastated, but He held me up. I found no hope for her eternity in His Words. Then, I discovered she had been warned by a minister before she died.
So I, too have been touched by this. Many nights I have agonized over where my two friends ended up, but I can't change what the Word says, not even to comfort my own heart, even though her pastor tried his best at her funeral, to preach her right with God and in heaven, I knew he was a liar.
This is a very serious subject, not to be handled harshly. It's not what we think or hope that counts, it is what the Word of God says. The Scripture warns us our adversary, the devil is as a roaring lion walking about seeking whom he may devour. He preys upon the minds of people, and drives them to despair. We can't hope things work out, we have to pray. Rev 21:8 tells us all murderers shall have their part in the lake of fire. People often try to reinterpret the Word to comfort themselves when tragedy strikes. My heart goes out to those who have been personally affected by suicide, especially for those whose children or spouses have done this awful thing. Yes, the devil drove them to it, and the medical profession can slap whatever "disorder label" or "sickness label" they want on it but it doesn't change the fact there is a devil out there who seeks to steal, kill and destroy. Folks, we have been warned in the Word of this, several times. I know some have chemical imbalances, and require treatment. But, the medical profession doesn't want to appear ignorant or too religious, so they slap a medical term on something they don't understand out of pride, with deadly consequences. They prescribe medicine to 'help' people with 'disorders' and then warn them if they have suicidal thoughts to stop taking the medicine? That is lunacy. It's also sorcery, which in the Greek is 'pharmakeia'. (Rev 9:21, 21:8) Look it up..in your Strong's Concordance...(G5331, G5332)And consider the anti depressants, the nerve pills, anything designed by flesh to soothe and calm flesh, and anxiety...how many times does God's Word warn us about turning to the arm of flesh for help? (Jer 17:5)
If Satan gains access via someone in a (mentally) weakened, drug induced state, and drives a man or woman to murder a child, and then they commit suicide, we would think most definitely, they die lost, because they die in rebellion to God, with blood on their hands. If a child is playing with a gun and accidentally shoots themselves, they are innocent, but if a person, regardless of the reason, deliberately takes their own life, they die in rebellion to God, too, with their own blood on their hands, as well. They have destroyed His creation, His child. They listened to the serpent, just as Eve did, and they die in rebellion to God. He cannot change His Word for anyone, regardless of how much we want to comfort them with oh, God is so merciful, yes He is. He also means what He says. The Word of God warns us about the ways and work of the devil and how he uses our own flesh and mind against us, which is why we must have the helmet of salvation and shield of faith and pray a covering of protection over those who don't. I do not mean to sound harsh, I understand all too well the torment that can hound your mind. We can not pray loved ones out of a non-existent Purgatory any more than we can expect them to be saved if they die in rebellion to God. He will not let anyone go out without trying to save them but people sometimes just don't listen or can't believe. Man will stand before Him without excuse. As the person dies, so they rise in the judgment. If they die in Christ, they rise in Him. If they die in rebellion, they will rise in rebellion. This should be all the more reason to pray and ask God to help us see when the thief is moving in and recognize before it's too late what is happening. Any 'preacher' who teaches people can be saved that commit suicide teach heresy. I have heard Charles Stanley make this statement, that they can be saved. He is wrong and the devil loves this because it gives people a false sense of security that suicide is actually a way out of their misery. No, it is only the beginning of true misery. I do not condemn or critcize anyone who commits suicide, or anyone for not wanting them to be lost. This is a sad situation for anyone to have to deal with and the last thing they need is some arrogant person who has never been through this to judge.
