William Tiptafts letters

December 13, 1845

My dear Friend,
I like to receive letters, but I do not like writing the answers. However, we shall find through life one thing must be set over against another; there is no separating the bitters and sweets, the joys and the sorrows, and the sweetest pleasures and severest pains. All things are to work together for good for those called by grace, and surely trials, afflictions and chastisements will be experienced by the child of God, as well as the Love, Mercy and Goodness of God—all proceeding from the Loving-kindness of a merciful God. In our right minds, what could we wish to be altered in outward things? All things are right, well-ordered, and the language is, "God knows best!"

"May Your will be done" is a hard lesson to learn, and far beyond what flesh and blood can attain unto. Tribulation must work patience, and when God blesses us with that, we can hear the rod, and know who has appointed it. What have we to fear but sin, and in that we have very much to fear; although we may be blessed to have the sting taken away through a blessed deliverance, nevertheless that enemy never dies, and it has made all true Christians groan, and surely it will us. But what a mercy it is to groan on account of it—instead of committing it with delight and greediness!

I feel the power of it, and feel grateful to God that it does not reign with that power it sometimes threatens to do. And it is a great mercy that we are not left to contend with so powerful an enemy in our own strength. I desire to bless God for 'restraining grace' as well as 'saving grace', and I am sure that none are well kept, except those whom the Lord keeps. How much sin we are conscious of, and how much we are ignorant of! Who is a God like unto our God, who pardons iniquity and delights in mercy?

At times Christ is precious to my soul, and I can bless God for His great mercies to such a worm as I am; and at times I feel as if grace could not possibly be in my heart, and all comfort, joy and peace are gone. I seem to have no heart to read the Bible, no heart to pray, much less to preach. Nevertheless, through mercy I continue to this day, and to the Lord be all the praise! Necessity compels us to contend for the renewings and revivings of God's Spirit, and makes us to know that all our springs are in God, and from Him all fruit comes.

It is an exercise to the mind to know what preaching invitations to accept, and what to refuse. It is well when we are not left to confer much with flesh and blood. To go where the Lord would have us go, and where He will condescend to bless His word through such worms, is the best. Last week I preached at Yately, Hartley Row and Wallingford. The friends in Wilts were asking whether you would come down there. . . I shall be glad to hear that poor P. is in a smoother path—though smooth paths are dangerous.

Yours affectionately,
William Tiptaft.

April 18th, 1838

My dear Brother,
I was glad to receive the kind letter which you and your better half sent me; and I wish you would write more upon spiritual things; but we find that our hearts cleave so close to the dust that we cannot enter with any life and power into heavenly subjects. It seems a great mercy that we do not deny them, for hope will spring up, in the midst of all our halting and hobbling, that we are among the 'little children'; for the Lord does bless the small as well as the great.

I am often led to wonder how I ever have got on to this time, and particularly in the ministry; but all past mercies, favors, and encouragements do not make me believe, when I am in a dark state, that I shall continue. Last Friday evening the Lord seemed to be with me, and the friends here expressed themselves to have been favored in hearing. I find that nothing but true religion will satisfy me, although my mind seems inclined to everything else, and all manner of deadness and evil possess me, in such a way that I cannot trace the work of grace in my heart. I sometimes think that I shall never be lively in my soul without a hot furnace—which I dread. Nevertheless, anything seems better than carnality and sensuality. But it will ever be "uneasy when I feel my load, uneasy when I feel it not."

I am afraid of having my heart "hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." The world in such various ways is our enemy, that we have more to fear from smiles than frowns; for when the flesh prospers there will be but little watching, praying, seeking, crying, groaning, and talking about the sufferings of Jesus. It seems to me much harder work to continue than to begin; but the church in all ages has been worn down with harassments and perplexities, or the promises would never have been so numerous for the faint and weary. That religion which brings no difficulties will not lead to any cry for help—and if we could get along without God, we would not seek Him.

Free-will, self-sufficiency, and independence, are three strongholds in our hearts, and they only fall before the winds of adversity and soul-trials, which make us to know that Christ is a refuge from the storm and tempest which arise, again and again, in every quickened soul. I get exercised in such various ways. I am sometimes in such places, in which I wish to act right, and yet I do not know what to do. Things may be more smooth for me after a while, for I am sensible to sinking daily, and at times I seem not to have a grain of faith or strength, and could not trust God for anything. If the Bible is true, the only good investment is giving money to the poor. That is safe; it is money put out on the best security, as being lent to the Lord; and what a good thing it is to make a good use of money, while so many spend nearly all they have on their selfish desires, fancies, and lusts. I believe we all love the world more than we think; and "Spare yourself!" is written very deeply in our hearts. I think we love the poor children of God less than we think; for deeds, not words, come closest to the heart, and it is easier to preach than to practice.

The matter of the greatest importance is the spending and distributing of money. An ungodly man may have much, but he cannot consider the cause of the poor, if the Lord does not bless him with the mind to do so. So an ungodly man's money is either spent on his lust, or brings him under a curse—"Woe be to him that is laden with thick clay." What a dreadful thing it is to have the curse of a covetous heart! "The love of money is the root of all evil," and sticks to one's heart like the flesh to the skin, and if any one at all despises money, the devil and the world are in such a fight with him that they are ready to knock him on the head or throw him into the fire, and will abuse him for being a fool, or a madman!

Yours very sincerely and affectionately,
William Tiptaft.

I just read the second letter, what an encouraging words...

That religion which brings no difficulties will not lead to any cry for help—and if we could get along without God, we would not seek Him.