Married As Though Your Not???

sermonindex Oct 4, 2007

What do you think? Is this saying that you should live as though you are not married (spiritually speaking) or is this saying that this is just so and it should or can not be corrected?

Another words is this saying that you should NOT care for the things of the world and how you can please your husband/wife and if so should we than change this mindset? Should married people live as though they are single with a few exceptions and to what degree?

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (King James Version)
32But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

M

MSeaman Oct 4, 2007

Paul is talking about when you are single, you can dedicate your life to the Lord's work, but when you get married, you have other responsibilities that take your time and energy. He is comparing the single life to the married life.

sermonindex Oct 4, 2007

I think I answered my own question LOL!!! Obviously we should care first about being holy both in body and spirit so we should change this mindset right??? If your spouse backslides your not supposed to backslide with them right? Of course not.

He/She that is married and cares for the things of the world should not because the things of the world are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life.If your aim is to please your wife or husband than this is wrong and is what is causing you to mind earthly things but if your mind is on pleasing God than you will be heavenly minded.

Maybe the key word here "pleasing". Pleasing your spouse as opposed to "pleasing" God. Obviously what pleases God is not always what is pleasing to your husband/wife. So if your husband/wife is not pleased with what God is pleased with than we have a problem, and if your husband/wife is not pleased with what God is pleased with than what?

See you thought you were out of the woods but I posed another question.LOL!!!

sermonindex Oct 4, 2007

Quote:
"Paul is talking about when you are single, you can dedicate your life to the Lord's work, but when you get married, you have other responsibilities that take your time and energy. He is comparing the single life to the married life."

I used to think that but now I am starting to wonder.

M

MSeaman Oct 4, 2007

:-P

I think that is why Paul said this in verse 28:

But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

M

MSeaman Oct 4, 2007

Maybe the key word here "pleasing". Pleasing your spouse as opposed to "pleasing" God. Obviously what pleases God is not always what is pleasing to your husband/wife. So if your husband/wife is not pleased with what God is pleased with than we have a problem, and if your husband/wife is not pleased with what God is pleased with than what?

This is so true. Especially if one spouse is saved and the other is not.

sermonindex Oct 5, 2007

So the answer is that you just live to please God and if your spouse is not pleased even though God is pleased than they should probably just leave than to put it bluntly ; ). That's not so easy though if they don't want to leave you.

Does anyone know of any preachers or women who have been married to unbelievers or backsliders, for instance people who are ashamed of the gosple yet call themselves christians??? Or maybe just profess to not believe in God? I would like to know how one should live in a situation like that or should you have to?

How do you live as though you are not married, yet are? The bible says women should submit but it also says to submit to one another as you submit to God. The husband actually even has more responsability because they have to obey God and they are to be leaders over the family. Jesus said if you love anyone more than me than you are not worthy of me, so we should put God first, man or woman.

I think it's important this day and age for men and women to know how they are to walk with God when they are married. Even if you have a perfect marriage shouldn't your eye be single?
Shouldn't our lifestyle in a marriage be follow each other as each other follows Christ and only then? Would you want your spouse or children to follow you if you weren't following Christ or visa versa and do you think God would expect you to? If you had it in you to do good but your spouse disagreed shouldn't you do it anyway if you knew it was God?

This is the way a single person lives if they walk with God. They wouldn't have any hesitation and it should be the same for those who are married.I think Christians have been decieved into thinking when your married you cannot live for God any longer but for your husband or wife even if they are backslidden, I disagree. You could backslide or grow cold in your walk with God.I can't see how God would have you do such a thing.That's the work of the enemy not God.

How do you please someone who is backslidden? By catering to their flesh! That's a sin if you do that.It doesn't say in that verse that this person is saved it just says they want to please thier husband/wife. They could even be an unbeliever in this verse and not a christian at all. You wouldn't want to please an unbeliever.

sermonindex Oct 5, 2007

Which is better?-

A 1)Walk with God and be led by the spirit.

2)Witness when you feel led.

3)Talk to your friends and family freely about God.

4)Hand out tracks or witness to others as you are led to do so...

OR....

B) 1)Only walk with God when your spouse is not around.

2)Don't witness when your spouse is around lest they be ashamed or embarrased.

3)Only talk to people about God when your spouse is not around.

4)Hand out tracks only when your spouse is not around.

Would you lean more towards A or B???

sermonindex Oct 5, 2007

Matthew 10:32-40 (King James Version)

32Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.

33But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

40He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

(v32)Not confessing God,

(v33)Denying Him or not giving Him the glory due His name whether it's witnessing or otherwise,

Caring more what another thinks I don't care who they are,

Saving you life,

(v39)They cannot recieve you if you cannot offer yourself,

(v40)Than you will be denied, you are not worthy and you will loose your life according to the scriptures!Right??? Don't everyone jump in at the same time!;)

So we should live as though we are single even though we are married but ONLY spiritually speaking. We still have to attend to business at home and with our responsabilities in the home.

Nothing though should ever hinder us from being freely led in the realm of the spirit. When God speaks we should be available to Him first to answer and this should be our state of mind always.

We should get to where we love God enough to say even though all forsake thee even our loved ones still we will follow even though we may lose everything.

R

Revivalist__ Oct 5, 2007

This topic really hits home for me right now. . . It's actually really amazing because I logged on sermonindex (which I haven't done in about a year) just to see if I could find something on this subject, and immediately I saw this thread. . . .

My wife and I have recently had some serious marital problems. She has talked about divorce, and if it wasn't for our daughter, and the support of our family and church, she would have already left. . .

Her major complaint about me is that I'm "obssessed with God." I have expressed to her in the past that I wasnt to truly lose my life for Christ, to devote myself to serving Him, witnessing for Him, preaching, teaching, and just being a minister in whatever way he leads me. . . . She also had a passionate love for God when we married 2 years ago but it has since become cold. She is focused more on her carreer, a beautiful home (which we recently bought), and all the other aspects of "the American Dream." She despises me for saying things like "we should lose our life for Christ," or "We've got to put God's kingdom first." . . . . At this point, I know that the more time, money, and attention I give to serving God, the more angry it makes her so that she wants to leave me. . . .

So I'm very interested in learning what other people have to say about this topic. . . . I know that marriage is very important to God and is a sacred covenant that I have to do all I can to preserve. I want to do everything in my power to love my wife, serve her, and please her. At the same time, I know that ministry is important to God and I have to put His kingdom first. . . .

So which one should I make the priority when I'm faced with a situation where I need to choose. For example, if I have a ministry opportunity with my church on a Saturday, but she wants me to spend the day doing something for her (like clean the garage), what do I do?

Do I honor the marriage for God and do the things she asks me to do. . .

Or do I honor the ministry for God and go out to serve the ministry opportunity I have?

W

Warrior4Jah Oct 5, 2007

Dear revivalist!

Check 1 Corinthians 7:12-17
I don't have any time to find some more scripture or write more about this, but I don't think you should just leave her. (not that I'm an expert on this!)

I can remember something from either one of Paul Washers or Keith Daniels sermons where you as husband should be praying and fasting for your unbelieving wife or children.

Don't you think that the Lord gave you this woman? How do you suppose that the Lord wants that you handle her? Check the scriptures and pray about it!

God bless,
Jonathan

sermonindex Oct 5, 2007

I think it's one thing to lay your life down occasionally for your spouse but when it controls every aspect of your life in Christ that is where you have to draw the line. If you can't share the gosple and do the things you know God wants you to do than we have a problem.

You should be led of the spirit.They that are led by the spirit of God THEY are the sons of God. Are married people not supposed to be led of the spirit because their spouse has grown cold? The scriptures do not only apply to single people only.

W

Warrior4Jah Oct 5, 2007

Dear Rebecah

Are married people not supposed to be led of the spirit because their spouse has grown cold?

Well how can God not wanting a child of Him not being led by the Spirit? But for the rest I can't say anything about it.

H

HomeFree89 Oct 5, 2007

I just read about a story in one of Brother Andrew's books that really struck me. This man was a Christian and he married a believer and the night of their marriage he promised he'd be her rock. Then he got so caught up on the Lord's work that he was neglecting her and most nights she'd go to bed a cry herself to sleep because he wasn't there with her.

Then a friend challenged him to keep doing the Lord's work, but also to set aside time for his wife so that she'd know she was loved and that her cared for her.

We can get so caught up in doing good things that we neglect what the Lord has given us, be it a spouse, family, church, etc.

Jordan

P

poet Oct 6, 2007

Dear revivalist/
you and your wife both need to go to christian counceling, you may discover something about yourselfs, and someone may be out of ballance.
I dont truly know your situation, but in 1Tim 3
someone in your situation wouldnt even be able to wait on tables... someone who has control of his household.
not that you are not earnest, but God has placed you in this relationship, which is a covenant relationship....
My wife and I got married 22 years ago, soon after I was the one who backslid, she never gave up and never stopped praying for me, finally I turned around and am now getting into ministry, I finished bible college and Love the Lord with all my heart.
God works that way, when you tarry before the Lord in your situation, he will change you, and mature you in Him, then he will help you in your situation with your wife.
He still loves her and wants her to come to him.
Please pray for your wife, and pray with her at home/
never pray for her things like please God change my wife.
Pray blessing over her and for God to reveal himself to her.
If you cant pray for her in this way, you may feel you may not have this level of imtimacy with her, its kinda funny, even me and my wife are in Love and were getting intimate with each other, I had a hard time praying with her and for her. When you can get by this and go to that level of intimacy with her, with her permission I am quite certain things will turn around for you both.
Some helpful hints I hope will be useful, others on this site will also have more for you im quite sure..
God bless.
:-)

sermonindex Oct 8, 2007

1 Corinthians 7:14-16

14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

sermonindex Oct 17, 2007

This thread by the way had nothing to do with me.

I just wanted to let you know I had my email viciously attacked by some woman on this board which is why I had to end this thread, shut down my websight and change my username.

I guess anytime you talk about marriage and raise a question people will assume you are talking about yourself.