I decided to leave my church.

I have not been on SI that much, I have been spending time in prayer and study, I appreciate all the prayers and concerns from everyone.

My wife and I decided that we need to leave our church. We can't continue to be apart of there vision. I don't agree with the seeker friendly style, the lack of the word being preached. I knew that the church is part of the Willow Creek Association, but it has been steadily getting worse. That style of church might be sufficient for others, but we can no longer endure it. Once, they played a film clip today from the movie, 9/11 Twin towers, I finally gave in and said it is time to go. I thought Gods word was enough to save and to teach? I feel like the Lord has been dealing with me on this for a while and I ignored and tried to get others to see my side without trying to be divisive and offending. I seared my conscience for the sake of those we are close to in Sunday school class...I finally realized that too was wrong, I should never go to church because of my friends. I realized if they are truly my friends they will still continue to be my friends. We should go to church for the whole reason to encounter Jesus through the study of Gods word. I justified myself because I was afraid and scared of what others might think. I couldn't ignore the conviction any longer and I think what I have been going through personally is a result of my disobedience to the Lord in not leaving sooner and justifying staying for my friends. God has pretty much forced hard issues to come against us, because of my disobedience.

God has shown me that the most important thing about His church is not the people we meet or fellowship with or the size of the building. But is my Word being declared without compromise, expositionaly preached? Is there a sense of holiness and reverence before the Lord in prayer and worship? Mark Dever has written a book called "Marks of a healthy church. It has been a great comfort to me. I was fearful that I was becoming prideful and haughty. I confess that their was times I did. But this book helped to see that I wasn't crazy and I was expecting better because Christ is worth that and more!

In closing, I am going to announce this tomorrow at mens bible study I have been leading. It will not be easy, I know that others have already distanced themselves from us because I don't agree with many things going on in the church. I know that we will loose friends and my wife is taking it hard already, she has already lost a close friend in the class, because we have been thinking about leaving. Please pray for my wife, Connie. Pray that we will find a church home.

Thanks so much for all the prayers and concerns.
Mike

I can very much sympathise, Brother. I've had several experiences of leaving churches or Christian organisations. Not because of wanting to, but because of the call of God, and often because I could no longer go along with what they were doing and teaching.

One of the hardest things is that they tend to criticise you as a "spiritual gypsy" or a rebel.

When forced to leave a certain Christian organisation (they too were going the way of error, and even the leaders seemed to have no discernment), I was given a scripture that you may find helpful. It was when Ezekiel dug through a wall and took his bundle of possessions as if going to exile - it was a sign to them that Jerusalem would go into exile in the near future.

So may your departure be a sign and a warning to them, for you have not taken this step merely because of being "fed up" or having a quarrel with any individual, but because the Lord has made it clear that the time has come.

Sadly it may be for most as it was for Ezekiel, he was told to speak and warn the people whether they were willing to receive his word or not, "for they are a rebellious house".

I have found however, that sometimes actions do indeed speak louder than words.

Another scripture given more recently, concerning another "coming out", was John 10. Jesus said that His sheep follow Him, and He leads out His own, calling them by name. Also that they "go in and out and find pasture".

Even though you go out, like Abraham, not knowing where you are going, yet He will lead you into green pastures and beside still waters, because you are of His sheep.

For Connnie I can understand that it would be especially hard. We women tend to put down very deep roots, make a home wherever we are, and usually find it very difficult indeed to tear up those roots and move on.

Has she received a personal word, or heart-conviction from the Lord, or is she simply leaving because of your shared unhapppiness with the church situation and from loyalty to you? Maybe she needs to hear from Him individually...

Praying for you as you take this important step in obedience to Him.

in Him

Jeannette

LittleGift wrote:
It was when Ezekiel dug through a wall and took his bundle of possessions as if going to exile - it was a sign to them that Jerusalem would go into exile in the near future.

So may your departure be a sign and a warning to them, for you have not taken this step merely because of being "fed up" or having a quarrel with any individual, but because the Lord has made it clear that the time has come.

Sadly it may be for most as it was for Ezekiel, he was told to speak and warn the people whether they were willing to receive his word or not, "for they are a rebellious house".

I have found however, that sometimes actions do indeed speak louder than words.

Another scripture given more recently, concerning another "coming out", was John 10. Jesus said that His sheep follow Him, and He leads out His own, calling them by name. Also that they "go in and out and find pasture".

Gary Wilkerson had a word from the Lord that the church in America will go into exile. I have spent most of my christain life in a homechurch.

I will keep you and your wife in prayer.

For Connnie I can understand that it would be especially hard. We women tend to put down very deep roots, make a home wherever we are, and usually find it very difficult indeed to tear up those roots and move on.

She would get uncomfortable about many things at church. She is a reformed catholic, she has been born again for a few years now, she still is taking baby steps, but I do know that she also has been convictions during church services. We have talked about it many times and the other reason I kept going was because she was building friendship's and that was very important for me, but she did later begin to feel that it might be wise to leave. She was desiring to be feed and so she started a Beth Moore class, but she started to here somethings that were not really in line with scripture and some of Beth's philosophies made her uncomfortable. Some kind of chant or cheer they did in the beginning of class? Not really sure

blessings'
Mike

No chants or cheers are necessary...

Just a penitant heart throbbing for the Lord of Glory!

And my heart goes out to you folks.

I live in Spring Hill Tennessee. Their is a church we will visit next week, it is a small rural church. There website recommends readings from Spurgeon, Martin Loyd Jones, and they even had John Macarthur visit to preach. I have to confess, we went to visit a few years ago and my pride kept me from going. It wasn't a "mega" church, I am so embarrassed and shamed, I judged the place by looking physically at it. I was so different then, I was always a seeker friendly church member, its funny how God gave me what I wanted, and then turned everything upside down and showed me His TRUTH. I thank the Lord for His mercy, I so don't deserve it.

AMen

reformer said

It wasn't a "mega" church,

A long time ago, in response to my expression of disappointment about the church leadership under which I sat at the time, the elder to whom I was complaining shared a homemade proverb which had helped him to hope in God alone: Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he cannot be disappointed.

I know it sounds a bit wry, but it has helped me to divide more honestly between God and man, and not to hold man's inadequacies against him. I have come to understand that it is God who puts the pressure on a man's weaknesses, in order that he may find himself strong in the strength which Christ supplies.

After the difficult decisions surrounding leaving friends and brethren, maybe that thought above is a balance. Someone has to go first. Maybe, if you've been leading something (men's Bible study), others will want to follow you, and you might feel responsible for that or them. But if they leave under God, as you are doing, then even if you find yourself still leading some of them, you won't expect too much of yourself, and you can help them look to the Lord for themselves, as you are doing.

Amen brother... there is a time to stay and a time to go.

Krispy

alan4jc wrote:
Hi, I don't know you and I am leary of even asking these 2 questions. I hope you will understand and concider the sincerity of them.

1) What scriptures can you look to for confirmation to leave the church? Which ones would you look to to reconsider and stay?

2)If you and your wife leave, who will be there to disciple the Christians that are there and who will be there to reach those that simply attend but are not saved?

Let me first say that I am leaving the church, i am still part of the body of Christ.

Roman 1:16 "For I am not ashamed for the gospel, for it is the POWER of GOd for salvation...," For me when a church looses site of this verse it is a dangerous situation. We don't need books and programs to save people. We have taken power of God out and replaced it with 12 easy steps.

2 Cor 6 speaks about being yoked unbelievers and separating ourselves from them.

2 John 1:10 "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching..."

Those scriptures don't , say to leave a church, but do explain reasons why it is justifible to leave. I am not to save those in church, I can share my believes, but if they are content in that style of church, then they are responsible. When we begin to neglect the expository preaching of Gods word, and encourage emotional driven worship and entertain the those that think they are saved. Its time to go. We can't run our churchs, like the world and expect God to move.

My wife and family are more important to me than those that would rather stay under this type of seeker friendly church. It is a form of idolatry. Romans 10:14

I considered this for several months and it was hard to leave. But i feel I must be obedient to what I feel God is telling me to do. I can think of many reasons stay, but its my flesh. I can't stay any longer because of my friends. I should being going to church to worship the Lord and biblical study and to serve, when those things are not there then its time to go.

I suggest reading, "Nine marks of a healty church, by Mark Dever.

alan4jc wrote:
Hi, I don't know you and I am leary of even asking these 2 questions. I hope you will understand and concider the sincerity of them.

1) What scriptures can you look to for confirmation to leave the church? Which ones would you look to to reconsider and stay?

2)If you and your wife leave, who will be there to disciple the Christians that are there and who will be there to reach those that simply attend but are not saved?

I believe you were right to ask, because these are important questions!

1. We can trust the Lord to speak to us in a way that we can personally relate to. Scriptures (I can think of more than the ones the Lord used to speak to me). He also speaks through circumstances, such as (in this case) being unable to go along with doctrines and practices of that church any more. Even the words of others can be confirmation of what you already know in your heart.

2. We can trust Him for those we leave behind, as long as we are going at His command and not in self-will. I found this very difficult the first time, because of being a Presbyterian minister (the Lord wouldn't let me do infant baptism any more). I felt like a mother abandoning her children, but in the end had no choice but to leave!

Abraham illustrates both those questions: the Word of God, and abandoning someone who relies on you and with whom you have a deep bond:

1. The Lord told him to leave his home and kindred and go to a place the Lord would show him

2. Abraham had to send Hagar and Ishmael away (they went, not him but it's the same principle). It broke him up - especially as Ishmael was his firstborn son, and he loved him and pleaded with God for him. And, even though Hagar was a slave, she was still his wife, and he was in effect divorcing her. But God told him to do it and he had to obey.

Mike, He has called [i]you[/i] out and you must obey...

Another point is that even if you [i]were[/i] in disobedience (personally I don't think so, but even if you were...) and the Lord was actually telling you to stay, you would soon know it!

Again I speak from experience. I had an argument with a very difficult elderly man in the church I was in from 1983 to 2002 (only leaving because of a move - the church was then too far to go regularly). It upset me so much that I didn't go to meetings for over 2 months. At first I tried to persuade myself that this was of God, but all the time I felt like a cut off limb, and couldn't go anywhere else. In the end I had to humble myself, apologise and ask if I could return.

Strangely, I find myself in the situation of not having a local church right now, after more than 3 years of going to the same one in this area. A couple of weeks ago the Lord made it clear that the time there was ended, but so far has given no direction as to where to go now.

But unlike the previous time there was no quarrel, and I know this is of Him.

Blessings

Jeannette

LittleGift wrote:

...2. Abraham had to send Hagar and Ishmael away (they went, not him but it's the same principle). It broke him up - especially as Ishmael was his firstborn son, and he loved him and pleaded with God for him. And, even though Hagar was a slave, she was still his wife, and he was in effect divorcing her. But God told him to do it and he had to obey.

I'm not of course saying that divorce is the right way of obeying the Lord - Abraham's situation was exceptional and unique!

Reread the post and realised it could be interpreted that way!! :-o

reformer wrote:
Let me first say that I am leaving the church, i am still part of the body of Christ.

That's the key to it all. If anyone leaves a local church without knowing themselves as still part of the Body then they are likely to be astray.

Bless you, Brother Mike, that's wonderful...

moe wrote: Reformer I am convinced that if you follow God's promptings and having no concern about anything other than your obedience to HIM you will have peace with your decision. A little advice, don't wait until Sunday to start Bible Study. Bible study starts in the home with the husband leading and initiating the studies. With prayer and Bible study in the home, your path will be revealed. Lean not to your own understanding, in all your WAYS acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your path.
I will be in prayer with you and yours.
moe_mac

This is actually really refreshing, statistics in evangelical community state that most people leave church for reason that are full of the flesh; the nursery is to small or not big enough, this person didn't say hi to me. The carpet is wrong, someone sat in my seat. This is why we have this epidemic of churches to surveying the community, and what has it got them? From what Willow Creek said, there programs have not worked, the surveys taken only fulfilled lust of the flesh. But what I have been reading in this thread, is very much to the contrary. The desire for the God and His word has been the focus. God honors this.

Psalm 94:16 "WHo will stand for me against evil doers? Who will take his stand for ME against those who do wickedness?"

There is one thing leaving for the color of the carpet, but it is completely different when you leave because of the Love for the truth of God. I look at it this way, if someone one's dishonoring my wife and children i would not stand for it. No one would. Why should this not be any different for Christ.

Blessings
Mike

I have been encouraged so much through everyone's comments. :-)

Strangely, I find myself in the situation of not having a local church right now, after more than 3 years of going to the same one in this area. A couple of weeks ago the Lord made it clear that the time there was ended, but so far has given no direction as to where to go now.

I will be praying for the Lord to bring you to where He needs you to be. It is a hard thing to leave a church, you build loving relationships, you are faithful to the church. Its hard to leave, but it should be hard; though I have learned, if it wasn't hard, you wouldn't care about the Lord. I would be concerned if it was an easy decision and just could leave without concern.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst...for they shall be satisfied.

Mike

I don't think I gave an update on how it went on monday night. I told the guys in the class, they were really responsive and excited to see that God is doing things in me. They understood why the reasons I was leaving, it wasn't a secret to those I was really close too. I do still plan to go to the Monday night study. I just hope that we all will still be friends. I know that only time will proof this. They were not upset, they knew I wasn't happy. However they are not ready to leave yet, even though they disagree with much. I am excited for one friend , because I see that the Lord is really drawing him into the word. That is how it began with me and I know he is also struggling with things there. but I know God is faithful to those who seek.

We sent out an email to the rest of the class and just typical response from most. Some we called us and they shared somethings with us and understood what we were going through. Now we didn't tell the class why, only those who we trusted on new us well. The one's that called, that didn't know why we were leaving were beginning to share some concerns they have. Some have been confused and perplexed, I believe only because they see the "success" of the church and the new growth happening. God must being doing something, we are adding on eleven million dollar building. Children are being baptized every week, people are receiving Christ. We have 30 minute worship service and 20 minute sermons with movie clips once while, its great! Right! they are confused. Why would you leave? For some I think it has caused them to look a little deeper. I believe we left with honor and respect for those around us. We weren't divisive or Pharisaical in leaving. Our best efforts were to be kind and loving.

Someone said on this thread that actions speak louder than words...I believe it did!

With love
mike