May I share my struggle I have often have, at least more so in this last month, while right after my father died. I have taken some to think what has changed in my life sense then. Lots for sure, but many the way I do things. I have seen that there are pattern of sin that have made there way into life and now, I fallen into a pit of habit which has killed some my ability to pray. The things I have learned you can't be discipline in spiritual matter useless are also discipline in physical matter too.
For this key for me to pray, we have to be on guard if not he will weak spots and take up down.
How busyness and wast of time. For me this is huge the discipline in every part of my life. being sick I have come reason, but none hold in some matters. What I eat is key, I must be willing to fight everyday against me own flesh and its desires. I desire it and lust after, but I must not give any room for flesh to have it way, this why I must flee. Being discipline, when I go to the store, if I am weak, then I am not to go alone. I have now going to write down everything I eat and have that I will show a friend every week. I have fallen in this pit, and I need others. To write this will be a struggle, but I know what I eat and eating right, will make 10,000 change in how I can pray with clear mind, or other things. Although I am not there eating as I please, I do keep and discipline a great deal I could say Come I do good 80% of time, well the 20% is still sin and hurting me. So I have to be willing for sake of my prayers to not eat whatever I want, I have to give some of my rights.
Another thing is when I am in the word, but more putting it to heart, before my father died I would wake and first I would reading chapter and chapter now I can't do a chapter . I have fallen in the discipline of going over it, I now struggle with it, get upset and discouraged and keep falling in that area. Now hear it was never about just doing for the sake of doing it, I know my heart was that I truly loved the word, and it fired my prayers. The word was in my heart, I was alway thinking about, it was simply I loved it, so. Wherever I went I had it, I want to read a PS before I did anything. I had to open and read many times an day. I desire to pray before every meeting, if God wasn't there then it was vain. My heart and mind in the love of Gods word was so different then now. Why my lack discipline. I know my heart still yearns for it, yet I have let my heart grow cold, it the daily life and busyness. But this one I know, having Gods word is key to pray and living. It is to the key delight. Gods words should not hit easy but hard and deep. Much to think and ponder on. I have been seen, my lack of Gods word, in having the discipline to put it heart and study it deeper have hurt my prayer. I know and strongly believe if you want fire and passion to pray spend a couple hours alone in Gods word, and it alone move a heart.
But I know the struggle of life, and how hard it can be to pray. But this one this we must do, is set our face to do and let nothing come it the way. It is fight. I have seen there are many thing I must change if I am going to fight to pray some which are hard, yet I have value the cost. and Christ wins, every time. I just have to keep the cross ever before me. So give up, fight. Do whatever you have to make that time. Go bed sooner, so you have clear mind, stop eating something or whatever it is. Put Christ in top Place. And know all battle and fought with Christ.
You are in my prayers... keep on, lets praise the Lord.
In his love
charlene
