Lets say for example Suzie died in her sin. She overdosed on drugs or something. What do you tell the people at the funeral when there all saying, "She's in a better place now." or "At least she's in heaven smiling down upon us."
All I could tell these weeping people was that "The Bible says that 'Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
The truth.
I'm not sure funerals are the best place to tell direct family members that the deceased is in hell. Perhaps I'm wrong. I tend to stress the fact that we all die and then stand before God. If someone picks up on that and presses the issue, I tell them something along the lines of "the Bible says ____" I point away from myself, towards the Bible, this decreases the chance of me getting mugged and makes them curious as to what this Bible says about death and judgment (if the Holy Spirit is working on them).
Maybe I should elaborate some...
The truth does not mean to use the "turn or burn" approach, but to use the truth when and where it is warranted. I beleive that a certain amount of descernment on the message needs to be applied.
My point was that we should not hide behind the "he/she is in a better place" senario, but to use this opportunity to let the message of the Lord through.
It is also highly recommended that you inform said party about what you intend to talk about BEFORE accepting the offer. If the receiving party is ok with your message, give it a go.
I know of a similar experience like this where the young man died of a herion overdose, and his best friend gave a very Godly message to the crowd. They were in denial and all "thought" that he had a bad heart (reason for the death). The man giving the message stayed true to the word, yet used descernment when proceeding. Very good message in a horrible situation.
I had no idea you meant "what do you say at a funeral" if you are giving the eulogy! I thought you meant as a mere visitor.
My apologies. I think Miccah hit it right on the money.
God Bless
My experience has been that surprisingly enough, people at this time of mourning are more concerned with their own soul than the soul of the one who deceased. Even tho many are in differing stages of denial during the funeral, most are acutely aware that nothing can change what has already happened, but they are very much aware that they can still make a change.
I would not recommend you dwell on the eternal destiny of the one who just passed... but rather focus on the one who is there at the funeral.
It is certainly not time for a hellfire and brimstone approach. They can not receive that at this point, and even Christ comforted tho who were mourning for the dead. He never once came raving about hell and eternal damnation when he was talking to a mourning parent or sibling. He wept with them. He comforted them. Thats what we should do while we keep our eyes open for an opportunity to present the hope of Christ.
Krispy
Good question,
When I went to see Keith Daniel during his tour, he came through Hillsboro, oregon.
He told a story about his dad or somebody when at a funeral, wept and let everyone know that the person was in hell and if we dont repent and turn from our wicked ways we will get the same.
I was kinda stunned with the story but had to admire the moxy.
I suppose if we are vigilant and properly warn people of the impending judgment..
it is appointed for man to die and then the judgment.
So when we said something like that everyone would know that we warned him/her ahead of time.
Im not brave enough to do something like that.
(yet)
try and get that sermon when Greg gets them...
God bless.
I agree with Krispy...
My DH's step-nephew committed suicide. The officiating pastor at the church preached salvation. He did not preach the man into heaven or give any comments on his eternal destiny. I have really appreciated that man's sermon. Methinks he did a fantastic job in handling that situation.
I do grieve when preachers will preach a person into heaven when he/she was known to be away from God. My cousin's husband was very grieved to attend a funeral like this because of one thing: they operated a personal care home for the elderly and this well-known man died in their home. They witnessed his death and his reactions when the death angel came were anything but pleasant. So sad.
Yes, it sems to me one needs to be very careful in what you tell the loved ones left behind. You can tell them you are praying for them during this difficult time and then do. Death is God's way to force home to those that remain that we all will go that way some time.
Blessings,
ginnyrose
Some good responses. It is a difficult situation - I've been there - how to be faithful to God's Truth while still being caring and sensitive to those who are grieving?
However, I wouldn't consign the person to hell necessarily (not even in my own mind). Only God and that person knows what went on between Him and them in the days, hours or moments before death, while maybe unconscious, unable to give any sign of it to their loved ones. How do we know if they may have repented, even at that almost too late stage? We can't know one way or another in most cases, but we can always hope.
I know, or know of, of a number of people who came to Christ on their deathbed, or the Lord actually [i]told
So what to say at a funeral? Pray for the right words, and say what He gives is probably the only suggestion I can add to what has already been said! But especially make it clear that no-one gets to heaven by being a good person, but only by the grace of God, and only if we receive Jesus.
Blessings
Jeannette
Hello all,
I do not post here often due to many of comments here, bt i thought I would chime in here.
I agree totally with Krispy,
It is extremely difficult to discuss or deal with eternity with people at funerals bcuz they r already dealing with eternity, they just didn't tell u that...
the Lord speaks loudly yet gently to their hearts while in attendance, while reviewing the chain of events, as well as rewinding all of the word that they have probably received as children.
God will do all the preaching in a very special way, better than we can
poet wrote:
When I went to see Keith Daniel during his tour, he came through Hillsboro, oregon.
He told a story about his dad or somebody when at a funeral, wept and let everyone know that the person was in hell and if we dont repent and turn from our wicked ways we will get the same.
I was kinda stunned with the story but had to admire the moxy.
I had chance to hear a copy of this message, and when I read this thread, first thing that came into my mind was that example that brother Keith shared. I think soon it will be on this site.
I have heard also about other example, how the Lord rebuked some preacher who didn't want to confront and lose his position, although God was speaking clearly to his heart, that this man was sinner and died into sin, and he cannot preach like [b][url=http://www.chick.com/tractimages84479/0001/0001_04.gif]this
God bless all.
Kire
I am a funeral director (I am typing this right now, in my office at the funeral home). Being a funeral director and an ambassador of Jesus Christ, I deal with this quite often and it must be handled, as all things pertaining to God, with wisdom.
I remember when I first started working as a mortician, I was implored to deliver a sermon for a family that was earnestly requesting a minister. I had about a 2 hour notice; I was working in the morgue doing technical work and my boss came in and told me he was in a real bind. We had already scheduled a minister to preach the funeral, but at the last moment he had to decline and the family was now desperately seeking someone to fill his place.
The dread hit me. How could I preach a funeral sermon for a stranger without stating the obvious? My dilemma was this: How could I be true to my God and yet not overly offend everyone in attendance and put my boss and his good, honest business in a dangerous predicament?
Divine wisdom was at need at the spur of the moment; I didn't want to speak, I knew the thin ice I'd be treading on, the risk of turning the entire funeral into a disaster -- even a possible lawsuit slapped on the funeral home for mental distress. And yet, amidst all these fears, I sensed the leading of the Holy Spirit to speak. I finally (but reluctantly) told my boss I would do it.
"Great!" he said. "Let's get ready to go to the cemetery."
In the hearse I prayed, prayed for wisdom. For all I knew, this could have been a suicide. Everyone would expect me to state the banal, cliche thing of "being in a better place now" and "God called him to come home to Jesus" and other untruths. When I arrived at the cemetery, the son came right up to me and shook my hand and gleefully thanked me. He asked me to keep it short, under 10 minutes. He also asked me to recite the 23rd Psalm at some point. Then he stuffed an envelope in my jacket pocket (with a 100 dollar bill in it, as I discovered later, back at the funeral home).
When it was time to speak, I stood by the casket, and opened my mouth to begin the message (I still had no idea what to say, I was virtually trembling in my shoes and trusting God all the way) and it was as if the Holy Spirit in an instant gave me everything on a golden platter.
The wisdom God gave me was this, and I spoke: "If (I think his name was John) could come back this instant and speak to all of us here under this tent, his message would be exclusive and to the point and as earnest as anything ever spoken by anyone in all of history - John would tell us all to believe the gospel of Jesus Christ. He would tell us all to repent and believe the gospel of Jesus Christ."
Then I went on to speak to all the individual consciences there, and I implored each man, woman, and child to respect John's request by looking into their own hearts and evaluating where they stood concerning such a pleading. If they haven't yet believed the gospel, why not? If they have, but still practice sin, why haven't they repented? Are they ready to meet God even at this moment, should He call them like He called John?
I recited Psalm 23 as the son requested, and then closed in prayer asking God to embed this message in all their hearts, that we would be ready for the judgment we all must face after death.
I ended just like that, on the note of "judgment" in Jesus' Name. It sure was quiet! I looked out and saw all the faces, my boss's (he's Roman Catholic) face, maybe 100 people all solemn and challenged in the cemetery. And I sensed the Lord speaking in my heart, a still, quiet, peaceful voice saying, "Well done, Paul. Thank you for trusting Me."
After the funeral, a few days later, my boss told me that the son called to specifically express how grateful he was for that message.
Brother Paul
PaulWest wrote:
I was virtually trembling in my shoes and trusting God all the way
Brother Paul, you reminded me of the funeral of my grandmother.
My whole family are unbelievers, except my mother. And they did traditional orthodox funeral with orthodox priests, much of the rituals have nothing to do with the truth, and the priest is doing this as profession, singing some songs on unintelligible language for forgiveness of the soul. The priest is unsaved person, just this is his job.
My grandmother was rebel to the Gospel whole her life, especially persecuted my mother when she became believer. Although she injured her until the last moment, my mother washed her feet and served her faithfully until her last breath. Now, my mom told me later that in her last moments, she repeated a prayer after her, but I am not sure was my grandmother in conscience in these moments, God knows what happened in these moments, the fact is that she was great rebel all her life.
I was strongly urged by God that I need to say something on the funeral, in the midst of all these superstitions and lies in the name of God said and made this day. I had chance to prepare and pray few hours before the funeral. Few minutes before the funeral I asked the priest that I am her nephew and want to say few words, without shame he said to me: "Ok, but be quick, because I have other job, and need to go" I said, Ok.
As brother Paul said, I was trembling also like a leaf. I didn't have experience to preach on open air before so much people, and most of them knew me, and probably some of them didn't know yet that I have become a christian. I shared few words about her family tree, and then connected this (I have forgotten now details) but I know it was Christmas time, and used to opportunity to share why Christ came? And asked the people, do they know why they are preparing for Christmas, and had chance to share the gospel in a few minutes. I was shaking like a leaf, but God is giving grace.
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