--- Yo Bro Krisp ...
i looked at your title beginning with "My" Theology, and instatly thought what's "His" Theology about this ... This reminds me of sis D's thread some time back: Love God Then Do What You Want ...
i guess i don't get it either because back then i could only see: Love God Then Do What He Wants, and with your thread all i can see is: Love God first, then you are free to live as He pleases - or something to this effect ...
i think i can just about fathom what you're getting at tho to me it seems like playing with words (not a jab here bro, just my honest opinion) ... For me there is a certain sense of freedom i have/know/feel in our Lord for scripture does say "Whom He's set free is free indeed" ... But i guess my problem is that i only see this freedom in terms of being set free spiritually from the laws of sin and death to salvation via being washed in His shed blood at Calvary, but i DON'T know/have/feel or even see that freedom in terms of my own everyday personal earthly life in that it's still yoked by His precepts, and tho His yoke is light (as opposed to satans heavy one) - it's still a yoke, and i must never forget that i'm a servant of God, bought and paid for with a price ...
i don't know, maybe i'm wrong here, way to tense in this or something, because altho i love God, perhaps i haven't attained the type of love you or Sis D is refering to that'll make me feel free to live as i please, or even moreso trust that i would to His glory out of just love alone, or perhaps i'm just way to suspect of anything that puts a "me" where i believe there should be a "He" to keep me energized and empowered to such Godly living ... Love of Him as i'm getting older i will admit has been more instrumental in my submitting and surrendering to Him, but prior to my getting here it was always how much i owe Him (my very eternal life) that was the major driving factor for me ... But really i guess the real truth of the matter is i don't want to be free to do what i want, or live as i want ... i want to do what He wants me to do, and as He pleases, and pray to Him continually that He make it plain to me whatever work He wants me to do ... i want to know His ultimate pupose for my life, and pray to God that i'm on the right track in what's been one strange journey thus far, because really if He's not got a job/work for me past years end i won't know what to do, save "go a fishin" literally ...
You know the thought of personal freedom in the same sentence with God actually gives me a scary feeling in the pit of my stomach ... Truth be told i'm very afraid of such freedom in attempting to choosing my direction, maybe this is a serious character flaw in me, but i surely do hope and pray not only does He have a full time, all encompassing, time consuming job for me, but that also He'll make it very plain & soon ... Even in love with Him, any kind of idelness scares me, so really i don't want to be that free ...
Enuf of my rambling here, but glad you posted this bro Krisp as it's made me think upon the subject again and i'm sure it's all part of His working out Rom. 8:28 in my behalf ... i'm at a crux of a transition place here where i'm about to become "free" one way or the other ... Free in something, or finally free of it ... His will be done ...
Blessings in Christ Jesus bro! ---