I am in good health; honour to my Lord; but my wife's desease
increaseth daily, to her great torment and pain night and day. She has
not been in God's house since our communion, neither out of her bed.
I can hardly believe her disease is ordinary, for her life is bitter
to her; she sleeps none, but cries as a woman travailing in birth.
What will be the event, He that hath the keys of the grave knoweth. I
have been many times since I saw you, that I have besought the Lord to
loose her out of body, and to take her to her rest. I believe the
Lord's tide of afflictions will ebb again; but at present I am
exercised with the wrestlings of God, being afraid of nothing more
than this, that God has let loose the tempter upon my house. God
rebuke him and his instruments. Because Satan is not cast out but by
fasting and prayer. It becomes us still to knock, and to lie at the
Lord's door, until we die knocking. If He will not open, it is more
than He has said in His Word. But He is faithful. I look not to win
away to my home without wounds and blood. Welcome, welcome cross of
Christ, if Christ be with it. I have not a calm spirit in the work of
my calling here, being daily chastised; yet God hath not put out my
candle, as He does to the wicked. Grace, grace be with you and all
yours. --
Samuel Rutherford