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Sin in the camp... your suggestions?

sermonindex Jan 14, 2008

I have a friend who attends a church here locally. A Baptist church. The preaching is generally on target.

But here is the situation. In the church is a couple who live together. Both have been previously married. The man is a widower, the woman is divorced from a man who was sexually abusive to her daughter. The man has a teenage son, the woman a teenage daughter and another daughter about the age of 9-10.

Never the less, they are living together, and they apparently see nothing wrong with it.

One of the older men in the church confronted them about this, and the couple got mad and didn’t attend for a while, but returned. The leadership in the church doesn’t want to address the situation because they are afraid the couple will leave for good. They seem to believe that if the couple is in the church then perhaps at some time or another they will be convicted of their sin and repent. Add to the mix that this is a church of 200 max, and everyone is blood related 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousin twice removed sorta thing.

In the meantime, this man who is living with his girlfriend is involved in the decision making in the church, has no problem quoting scriptures and voicing his opinion in business meetings, and other meetings that deal with the direction and operation of the church.

My friend doesn’t know what to do.

All y’all should know what my suggestions were. But I thought this would be an interesting topic for discussion. If you had been in this church for a long time, and everyone is related… how would you handle this situation?

Krispy

I
iansmith Jan 14, 2008

I seem to recall the Apostle Paul would say the offenders should be excommunicated.

It's harsh, but I think its important to show them that they are in serious sin. Will they come to true repentance without punishment? Will they ever feel as if they are doing wrong if the church sits by and doesn't say anything. [b]We're sending them to hell if we don't say anything[/b].

sermonindex Jan 14, 2008

This is very true.

My concern also is for those in the church, especially teenagers. Doesnt it seem to them that the church is condoning this sin if they do nothing?

How does the church teach sexual purity if it says nothing about the fornication in it's midst?

Krispy

M
murdog Jan 14, 2008

Krispy,

Absolutely. This is why the churches today have no credibility. I was speaking with another believer about two things. Do you recall Ananias and Sapphira being struck down by the Holy Spirit for attempting to lie to God? And their deaths caused the fear of the Lord to settle in their midst. Is this same Spirit dwelling in the hearts of "believers" today?

The other thing is in 1st Corinthians about the man who was kicked out of the church for having his father's wife. The problem was sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is tolerated today by allowing practicing fornicators and adulterers to be members or even in leadership positions in the church.

No one wants to deal with it.

But we do know judgment will start in the house of God. If we do not return to the bible's standards and uphold these standards. We will be only fooling ourselves.

Murray

sermonindex Jan 14, 2008

Excellent points, Murray. So how should a person who attends this church (or any church, not just this one) handle a situation like this? Should they up and leave? Should the confront the leadership?

How can a person respect a pastor who wont say anything because he believes if he puts this couple out... he risks losing 50% of his congregation because everyone in the church is kin?

Krispy

sermonindex Jan 14, 2008

by KrispyKrittr on 2008/1/14 10:24:58

Excellent points, Murray. So how should a person who attends this church (or any church, not just this one) handle a situation like this? Should they up and leave? Should the confront the leadership?

How can a person respect a pastor who wont say anything because he believes if he puts this couple out... he risks losing 50% of his congregation because everyone in the church is kin?

Krispy


Krispy there has been some good points raised and I agree on many of them but the real question is and the church body needs to ask themselves is who is running the camp? Who does the camp belong to. Remember what Jesus told the Pharisees, you search the world over trying to find one convert and you turn him into twice as much of a son of hell as you are. That's where many churches are today and no body willing to go against the grain and stand in the gap.
moe_mac

I
iansmith Jan 14, 2008

I posted some quotes from a old timey Methodist Evangelist named [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Jones_%28evangelist%29]Sam Jones[/url] on a different thread the other day that I think are very applicable.

If I had ten thousand angels to preach to to-day, every word I should say would be pure. Our Saviour preached to men. His sermon on the Mount would not have had so much in it about adultery if He had been preaching to angels. God keep me dead honest in dealing with souls. I want to lay my gun on the rail and aim straight. If I hit you on the side, I did not mean to hit you there, but right square in the head. If you think I hit you accidentally, you never made a greater mistake in your life. I hit you with malice aforethought.
I once knew a new pastor who, upon taking charge of his church, was met by a delegation of the deacons previous to delivering his inaugural sermon. They said: "No, brother, you musn't preach about fashion, because our fashionable members will be out to hear you. You musn't preach about dram-drinking or liquor selling, because several of our members who are liquor-sellers will be out to hear you. you musn't preach about covetousness, because several of our millionaire members will be out to hear you." "Well, what can I preach about?" he asked in great perplexity. "About the Mormons," replied the good deacons; "give'em blazes; there won't be a Mormon to hear you."
I want to be a good man and a good husband, but God keep me from being a "nice" preacher.
A great many people object to pointed preaching because it pains them, they say. This suggests the story of the old lady whose daughter's tooth ached. She sent for a dentist. he came and pulled out a pair of big, old-fashioned forceps. The old lady screamed out, "Don't put them things in my daughter's mouth; pull it out with your fingers!" That would be mighty nice if it could be done. God bless you all! if you will let me get the old gospel forceps hold of these teeth, I will bring them out, but I can not pull them with my fingers. I want that understood.
[b]The devil has no better servant than a preacher who is laying feather-beds for fallen Christians to light on[/b].

Shamefully Sam Jone's denomination, the United Methodists are, in many cases, so far from his preaching and teaching that they would be unrecognizable to him.

M
murdog Jan 14, 2008

Krispy,

After I had posted I realized I had not answered the question.

This just goes to show how far we have fallen. I wanted to use the example of what to do when a brother is in error.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat his as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

Matthew 18:15-17

It is of the assumption in this scripture that the church would know what the Word says about any given error.

Now we do not even have that.

God help us. Give us leaders that are not man pleasers. Bring the truth back into the pulpits.

This truly is an epidemic. How long will we cling to deceit. Purge us O God.

Murray

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iansmith Jan 14, 2008

More Sam Jones fun:

One committee called him to their town to preach to sinners. They were offended when he came because he preached at them instead. Upon complaining to him they were told by Jones, "Never mind, I will get to the sinners. I never scald hogs until the water is hot."

On another occasion someone asked him why he didn't attack the Catholics more, to which he replied, "When I get through with the Methodists, it's bedtime."

G
ginnyrose Jan 14, 2008

Krispy,

You know what the scripture saith: especially in Eph. 5:1-7....I do not read where there are any exception to kinfolks committing these sins and how to deal with them, do you? Jesus says we are to 'hate' our kinfolks...which I would understand to mean we are to not allow love for kin to interfere with our serving the LORD.

And what to do if the preacher acts like a wimp in handling the situation: the fellow can always leave and join Krispy's house church...hopefully, he will be Biblical in handliing a similar situation.

My opinion,
ginnyrose

sermonindex Jan 14, 2008

I have handled similar situations in a house church setting. It wasnt just me, it was handled by the elders, which I am one.

We had two situations... one was an unsaved couple that was living together who was invited to come to our house church. In that situation, since they were not saved, we loved on them and made them feel welcome. Eventually they got saved, got married and are now a vital part of our fellowship.

Another couple came, claiming to be believers, but refusing to get married. We put them out. Period. And we were bad mouthed and talked about... but I didnt care. I'm more concerned about what God thinks, not what those people and their friends thought.

Our purpose for putting them out? #1 - obedience to God's Word, #2 - concern for the spiritual welfare of our fellowship, especially the impressionable young people, #3 - for the spiritual welfare of the couple, that they would see their error and repent.

I dont understand how churches can let this sort of thing go on when scripture couldnt be more black and white about a subject.

Krispy

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