A Seed of Bitterness

From my journal 6/13/04Yesterday I got a breakthrough! I discovered that a tiny seed of bitterness (anger) can spoil your whole spiritual life without you even knowing it. Of course this bitterness/anger comes from PRIDE- this makes me smile because, by now, I really see how all sin comes from our own dumb pride. I have to laugh at myself in a way because I see how easily even i can be fooled by just a small thing such as anger. Yesterday I came across this verse: "And do not greive the Holy Spirit... let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." Eph 4:30-31 Wowee, I saw right away that my pride had gotten in the way of the Holy Spirit being able to work in me properly. He was grieved. :( I also saw how this was almost "murderous". Ahhh! I was wrong and I repented. I can't believe how fast everything came back to me, my zeal, my grievance over the state of the church, everything. I was complacent there for awhile, I had drifted off to a comfortable sleep. I still knew the truth but I wasn't really awake! Again, I have that ancy, dissatisfied feeling inside that makes me want to teach and get out messages to people that don't want to hear them :) . I am made for holiness! Yes! He came that I may be made holy. Ok, got that out of the way.Well, that's about it for now. I am back to my edgy, on-fire, un- compromising self - for now. Funny how the Lord lets us fall completely to the bottom before we realize how far we've fallen. At least that's the way He works with me. He just lets me fall all the way into the mire so that I can see how yucky that mire is. Then I scramble once again to get back to His heavenly holiness.In Him,Chanin

Of course this bitterness/anger comes from PRIDE- this makes me smile because, by now, I really see how all sin comes from our own dumb pride. I have to laugh at myself in a way because I see how easily even i can be fooled by just a small thing such as anger. That really speaks to me today. It's easy in ministry to get angry at the rejection of God's message. Reading your entry reminds me, "I'm dead." I am dead! Dead to self and a dead man has no feelings of His own. Ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. Oh that we might know it and make it true in our lives. Not my will but thine be done! God Bless for the encouraging words! :-)

In that verse you quoted the part about not speaking evil of others. I know I gotta work on that. I feel so bad after I speak badly about another brother or sister. It doesn't matter if it's true. I know God likes us to speak words of encouragement. And even if speaking badly about someone slips, at least pray for that person to be right with God, you know? I'm working on it! At least I am getting convicted right after the words come out of my mouth. Now I just have to think more before I speak.Thanks for sharing Chanin.