Ministering with a female?

Saints,

In my home town we have a sister who has recently come to the Lord. Her Conversion is genuine with the Person of Jesus Christ as foremost and a dying to self as her daily prayer.

She's a university student home for the summer and has begun coming to our home church.

My wife and I love this girl. Her passion for reaching people is only surpassed by her passion for Christ.

She's been saved for about 3 months and has a desire to reach people in the community.

I've offered to take her out with my wife's blessing to tell people of the Grace of God which is found only in Christ Jesus as she feels called to do so.

She has no fellowship with people in this city as of yet as she is new to the Church, but we have also sat with her in service and fellowshipped with her in our home and introduced her to some great Brethren and Sisters in teh Lord from our church.

Knowing the dynamics of female/male interaction I wanted to be open and so mentioned to our Pastor that I would be taking her out with my wife's blessing.

The Pastor has recently dealt with two false accusations against other Ministers which he of course could not get into the specifics with me but he warned against us going out together without a third party.

I have no issues with bringing others alone and some have agreed to come when available.

I want to maintain a good report so have no problem with this.

I have asked our assitant Pastor with our senior Pastor's knowledge what his view is and our assitant Pastor sees no issue with ministering publically with a female if one's spouse is in agreement.

I then asked another Minister friend of mine and he also is agreement with this.

I know that this issue is not big yet at the same time I don't want to appear as though I'm rebellious and seeking to divide my relationship with my Pastor.

I asked two individuals already if they would accompany us and on the day I wanted to go out both are working days.

During the weekends we could have a small group I'm sure come out with us.

My point is that this will not be possible a minority of times.

My Pastor said people could falsely accuse me if I were seen in public witnessing with a female.

Would it be improper to minister with this female as my wife has stated clearly she sees this as good pleasing to the Lord?

I am asking in transparency for the sake of a good report.

Thank you Saints.

This looks to me as though it is one of those questions that answers itself.

1 Thess 5v22, 'Abstain from every form of evil.'

In other words, if in doubt, don't. That lines up with Romans 14v23.

If something is so questionable, and every action has to be justified, drop it.

I can't tell you what to do, but if your wife were to take your place, would all these questions have been asked?

That's it.

God bless.

I'm thankful for your input on this and perhaps if something is in my heart not in order in these matters God is using the Saints to reveal it. Thank you.

I refuse to bring reproach to the Name of Jesus Christ and will do only that which pertains to Holiness in these matters. This is why I have come here and asked because only our Pastor saw a problem while all others did not. I am thankful for the Brethren here who are speaking what they believe to be even a rebuke to my heart which can blind me in these matters. satan is crafty but I knew the wisdom of God would be apparent here on sermonindex. Thank you.

Are you referring to something like street ministry?

If so, I would recommend not going alone with her. I would take your wife or at least someone else. The two of you may be completely blameless but others won't see it that way. Surely someone is going to ask if you two are married and when you say no they may very well make a big deal out of it. I've been doing street ministry for a few years now and I know that some "hecklers" will find anything to mar you. Whether it's someone very overweight or anything. It's best to avoid giving them opportunity to blaspheme.

Another thing is that people grow very close while ministering together. On one hand you would want that since you are both on the same page but on the other hand it can have complications.

Absolutely not.
I'm not saying that you or the Lady would do anything wrong, but it wouldn't look right.
My opinion, it would be better to witness with at least a third party.
God Bless you,
Nellie

Ah, it looks like most of us were probably typing at the same time. There were no responses when I was typing mine.

I'm sorry if it looks like we are jumping all over you since many of us have said the same thing. I doubt this was anyone's intention if it comes off that way.

PreachParsly wrote:
Are you referring to something like street ministry?

If so, I would recommend not going alone with her. I would take your wife or at least someone else. The two of you may be completely blameless but others won't see it that way. Surely someone is going to ask if you two are married and when you say no they may very well make a big deal out of it. I've been doing street ministry for a few years now and I know that some "hecklers" will find anything to mar you. Whether it's someone very overweight or anything. It's best to avoid giving them opportunity to blaspheme.

Another thing is that people grow very close while ministering together. On one hand you would want that since you are both on the same page but on the other hand it can have complications.

Yes it was for street ministry to the lost. I am an Outreach Minister with our home assembly and work full time in this capacity with individuals and groups.

There is safety in a multitude of godly counsel and I would do well to take heed.

Thank you Saints.

Another thing is that people grow very close while ministering together. On one hand you would want that since you are both on the same page but on the other hand it can have complications.

I agree, and so does my friend for a day.

Brothertom wrote:

I would take her in a group setting only. She should understand this , and really desire it. Often emotional bonds are stronger than you can imagine, and for her sake, you need to stop this. You, are in effect, discipling her, and you were not called to do so ALONE. This is a body work, especially in the cases of young, spiritually immature women.

You, and your wife should continue to encourage her, but you should back off the one on one alone times with her completely.

Find some mature brothers that will go preach with you. tom

Thank you for your words of caution, Brother.

I should have mentioned that I did not intend to make this a practice and have not yet even gone out with her to move in Ministry areas.

I have already spoken with several individuals to come out on a regular basis as we are again beginning to move more in these areas as the weather permits this much more.

I was not intending to make it appear as though I would be ministering often with a lone female. In my view that is unwise. What I sought to convey is whether or not on rare ocassions this would be inappropriate.

Again thank you Saints. Your encouragement and words of caution are well heeded.

Not that I feel a need to add to any caution as that has been very well spoken in previous posts.

I would simply add that a young woman has MANY things to learn, and there must be a rooting and grounding before she is exposed to the full strength of the adversary. She can be a most WONDERFUL witness to every person she comes into contact with, and learning to share her testimony can begin with those that are closest to her, even by the changes in her life.

I believe very strongly that another woman needs to be her main discipler, it is much to easy to develop bonds of emotional ties that regardless of your pure motives can be harmful to her spiritual growth.

Women are different learners then men. It takes a mature woman that has shown herself faithful, one who can nuture, teach, admonish, encourage, show her HOW to BE a woman of faith, of obedience, of good character.

A sister in Christ

Intens4Him wrote:

by healing2day on 2008/5/13 10:57:49
The Pastor has recently dealt with two false accusations against other Ministers which he of course could not get into the specifics with me but he warned against us going out together without a third party.

I have no issues with bringing others alone and some have agreed to come when available.

I want to maintain a good report so have no problem with this.

I have asked our assitant Pastor with our senior Pastor's knowledge what his view is and our assitant Pastor sees no issue with ministering publically with a female if one's spouse is in agreement.

I then asked another Minister friend of mine and he also is agreement with this.

I know that this issue is not big yet at the same time I don't want to appear as though I'm rebellious and seeking to divide my relationship with my Pastor.

Brother,

You say you have no problem with this but yet you persist in going over your pastor's head not once but twice and you need to know that you DO look rebellious while you do this.

I'm just going to be blunt here... the problem of ministering with a woman alone to me is minor compared to you not submitting to your pastor's authority.

That's just my take on it.

God bless,

In truth there is no such situation. I do not want to be rebellious to his advice but he has not and would not make demands on such things. Our senior P does not "lay down the law" as such but allows members and Ministry Workers to do as their conscience dictates so long as it is not in direct violation of Scripture.

In this particular case we are all of varying views and our senior P is one to give much room in matters such as these.

I'm sorry for not explaining this is greater detail as I should have.

This is why I brought the issue to the attention of the Saints because I wanted the counsel of many and have well received it and will take heed accordingly as I stated earlier.

Thank you for your boldness in sharing such things with me. Open rebuke is better than secret love.