Help, advise and concerns etc...

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Alf May 19, 2008

Greetings to all in Christ,

\tWell where can I start…Lately I’ve been having problems with my pastor and well now he is my ex-pastor if you even want to call him a pastor.

I requested leadership over the young adults (18-26) of our church about 5 months or so back and was granted the leadership. The pastor visited the group ONCE and that was after much pushing from myself and another brother. I asked this man for mentoring and all I got were 6 am prayer meetings which were great but eventually they died out…

I went on to ask him again to further my knowledge but again I was met with a bit of a cold shoulder and never received even an invitation to his house to go over the scriptures…mind you it wasn’t because he was too busy…I confronted him on the lack of mentoring, the lack of help with the young adults group, and concerns of the church leadership and was met with again a lot of nothing and conversation dodging. The church “Elders” that make the decisions for the church have never been presented to the congregation nor do they have any signs of much spiritual living…how do I know this ? well I had their kids in my group and lets just say they didn’t know what the word “Christ” stood for, even less what a gospel was… I guess it would be a tad more acceptable if their parents were not church leaders, the kids told me that there was no study time at home or even spiritual bonding with their parents… this all goes without saying that I personally know all the “elders” and there is nothing there when it comes to spiritual leaders.

Now I have left my church I regret having the young adults group because I don’t believe young adults should lead young adults (im 21) specially if there isn’t a pastor backing and exhorting constantly specially with constant visitation to the group… the pastor has not called me for a month, as I haven’t attended church for a month (been going to another) but I have not found the correct time to tell the pastor I am “officially” leaving and well no contact has been made on his part, I have been praying for it and realized that he just simply doesn’t care about me, the group, the congregation. I think all he cares about is $$ and/or popularity but I posted on this a while back but my thoughts were not as together as now and I really didn’t have much evidence to go about calling him a flase teacher.

As always saints point out your concerns and/or my mistakes and advice, in Christ always much love and blessings to all!

EDIT: mind you i did call him like a week ago and left him a messege (he hasnt called back) and another of the young adults told him to call me to which he agreed.

Also i have been going to another church because i am taking an alcoholic friend of mine to church but he speaks english only and my church is spanish only, i made it sound above as if i just left. but well there u go.

sermonindex May 19, 2008

You have a lot of complaints against this man, but hardly stopped to consider that you brought a lot of this on yourself by insisting they give you leadership over the young adults... even tho now you admit someone your age shouldnt have leadership over young adults. (And I agree!)

Kinda reminds me of several stories in the Bible where people bugged God long enough about something... He finally gave them what they wanted... and they regretted it.

You are also making unfounded accusations against this man, even suggesting that you think all he is interested in is money and popularity. How dare you! You dont know the man's heart.

You act surprised that he hasnt called you, but I am not surprised at all. If you're displaying the same attitude toward him that you are here publicly, why would he call you back?

Based on what you've written here you have not shown a Christ-like attitude about this situation at all. I dont see any righteous anger here, I see an immature temper tantrum.

I know this is blunt, and probably will make you mad... but based on your post, I think thats exactly what you need.

Who are you to demand leadership in a church? Who are you to demand this man bump you to the top of his priority list? Who are you to judge another brother's heart... especially publicly?

Nope... dont think you're gonna get much sympahty here.

Krispy

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Alf May 21, 2008

"I see an immature temper tantrum.", i agree.

Lots of praying to do, thanks alot brother!

and btw i shouldnt have said anything because there is alot of details about this pastor that well i would need 3 pages to write but what you have told me has much truth within the very little i wrote, after all he gives accounts for his life and i know not a man's heart so i will make my peace. About being blunt part... GOOD! i look at it a bold move and one thing we as humans dont like is truth :). God bless you brother for your help.

sermonindex May 30, 2008

In my very early walk with Christ, I too was given authority over my peers,,,kind of more absolute than perhaps you could know,,as we lived together in a communal situation.[all young men.] Well , it didn't take long to figure out that I was a jerk, and under qualified, to say the least. I approached the job kind of like you would do when charging in battle; I of course was the great leader, and I had all the right stuff, and it was my way, or the highway..

I was a miserable failure. I had no life, or anointing, or understanding, nor did I have the patience and love to Shepherd myself, much less others. I meant well, but it was just a position I wanted, just as you asked your Pastor to do this job.

My first counsel is to ~~[b]~~Not[/b] point the finger at others. Categorically, Do not do it, repent and ask forgiveness for the accusation that you have committed. Draw a circle around yourself, step inside, and present yourself before the Lord, with no guile or bitterness toward anyone.

Repent for your "fishing trip", when negative things came up from the children of the leaders, and you received this gossip from those you were supposed to minister to. Your best counsel to them would have been for them to honor their mother and father, not to accentuate their perceived failures, and it seems this was done to justify yourself, and to diminish them for their lack of support of you. This was none of your business anyway, and it was given to you from the confidence of a parent /child relationship, that as a believer, and older brother, you are responsible to nourish, not belittle.

I admonish you to humble yourself, and go to this Pastor, and tell him you are thankful for allowing you to minister, and thank him for his trust in you. Point out to him that it was you, not him, who failed, as you are not yet ready to shepherd. Tell him that you almost fell into bitterness, and that you say that your sorry for disappearing. Thank him, and explain that you fit better into this other church, and leave with a blessing, not a broken relationship.

He will understand. I am very happy that you want to serve the body. It is important to walk in the integrity of your heart. We are all growing, me, you , and your Pastor. Have mercy on other's failures. You will find that in doing so, yours will not be so glaring.

Hope for your walk and ministry,,,,Tom.

sermonindex May 30, 2008

Well where can I start…Lately I’ve been having problems with my pastor and well now he is my ex-pastor if you even want to call him a pastor.

As of last time in conclusion you were advised to speak to a local elder or pastor of a church that you are "accountable" to. I am locking this thread as last time we exhausted the help and advice and I think its a "local church" issue at this point.