I'm having a crisis in my life, known as girlfriend.I'm fairly familiar with that sort of crisis, not from quantity of experience but from quality. Often good advice would be to run and hide, but for a great variety of reasons that isn't an acceptable option. I'm not entirely kidding.I am a sophmore in college and have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now.Keep in mind it may be a few years before you can responsibly consider marriage (considering finances, employment, etc). This isn't so much a caution against emotional intimacy as it is against physical intimacy (or even proximity in some situations). Try not to put yourself in a situation where your judgment may be impaired, and it's not a good idea to get so close that your body certainly thinks sex is appropriate when your morality (which must be Biblically guided) is saying quite the opposite.Like me she has just recently begun to accept christ.Don't seriously consider marriage until you're sure that you're both Christians (in beliefs and actions). If either falls away, you cannot morally marry (except the one repent, of course) and should not continue a relationship that is for the purpose of determining whether or not marriage is appropriate.2 Corinthians 6:14Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? I have felt an intense love for her for most of the time we have been dating but she has never, and has said that shes not, on the same "level" of love that I am. She has said that she has feelings, but that she does not yet feel right in saying "i love you",I was in essentially that exact situation a bit more than a year ago, she certainly liked me and considered me a possible husband, but her feelings weren't as intense as mine. She eventually decided not to continue the relationship (I was unable to determine the reason, but I don't think it was the disparity of feelings at the previous point).but she believes that if you hang with it that day will come when she will. I myself am a hopeless romantic and am torn between feelings that love is a *snap* its there kinda thing and that love can grow on you.If you're both seriously in love with God (according to the Biblical definition of loving God, which includes an genuine desire to obey Him, and obviously obeying Him), avail yourselves of His means of grace (primarily the Bible, prayer, fellowship, etc) and stay faithful to Him you'll most likely do fine together even if emotions aren't where you wish they were. But if those emotions don't eventually come (give it time), it might not be a good idea to make such an important commitment as marriage.John 14:15If ye love me, keep my commandments.1 John 5:3For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.I have prayed about this fervently, cried in prayer, which i havent ever done b4,This is important: are you primarily interested in what God wants, or in what you want? Obviously we're interested in both, but the priority must be God. I think I was guilty, part of the time, of unconciously caring about my own desires (girlfriend) more than God's (holiness, ministry, among others).(edit, added passage)1 Corinthians 732 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.and I figured that this would be a good place to start looking for God's answer.This place is something else, and some of the people here really have a lot of experience with God and with God-centered relationships. I'm not really one of them, but I do have some experience relevant to the situation between you and your crisis.Love God, seek God, obey God. Teach and lead her to do the same, if she is willing.Matthew 631 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.(I like the last sentence there too, paraphrased it is "Each day has enough trouble of its own")Pray and earnestly seek to grow closer to God with each passing day and moment, and pray and encourage her to do the same. In growing closer to Him, if it is His will, you will grow closer to one another.(I wish I had some verses for that, but I don't, so it could be wrong)God's grace be with you, I'll remember the two of you in my prayers.-Keith
