Should we make friends with people before spreading the Gospel?

My friend said the way i approach people is wrong by spreading the gospel to them when i meet them. He says that i should make friends with them first. you see i could counter him with well they could die tommorow, then what? Can anybody give me biblical advice on this to respond to him. He looks at me as if i do not know what i'm talking about because i haven't read the Bible more than him and his friend, but i don't need to read the bible a certain amount of times to get the point through. Please anybodys help on how to respond? He tries to use Jesus as someone who made friends first, but you know what i think Jesus still preached to them that day.

[u][b]1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NKJV)[/b][/u]

For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. [b]I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.[/b] Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

[u][b]Romans 12:9-20 (NKJV)[/b][/u]

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. [b]Do not be wise in your own opinion.[/b]
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore

[b]“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”[/b]

Become a friend. Be a living example of Christ crucified. Use the Word as your guide. Love them when they are unlovable, be a friend to them when the hate you, pick up your cross daily for these folks. In the words of Paul, become all things to all men...

I love the reply and i agree that should be our daily life and walk for Gods as servants. But do you think we should present the Gospel to humans the day we meet them or strangers, or wait to say something and become friends first. If we present the Gospel to them i don't want to be unfriendly but kind and even if they reject it or accept it i will love them still and be exactly what you explained above. I just want to know should we be like missionaries and the disciples or become scared to open them with the truth of the gospel. I already know what i believe on this, i just wanted to know how to respond to my friend about the spreading of the gospel should not be waited on but done all the time. Thanks for the reply miccah you put the stamp right on the dot, but i think that would precede following the message of the Gospel. My opinion.

In response to your question, no not necessary. If you were to make friends with the aim of converting them to Christ, then you are not being honest. One must also learn to put oneself into the other person's shoes--would you like people to make friends with you because of an ulterior motive--no. What will they think of you if you are not successful in converting them and when they realise what's your motive in making friends with them.

When we become Christians, its not to lose our ability to reason and think. We need to use that in conjunction with the Bible. Unfortunately, sometimes people get caught up so much with the Bible that they forget how to use their reasoning capacity--which is one of the more common complaints by non-Christians and ex-Christians.

I've attached a clip of Paul Washer which will help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt9V4Q5n9gs

bible1985 wrote:

I love the reply and i agree that should be our daily life and walk for Gods as servants. But do you think we should present the Gospel to humans the day we meet them or strangers, or wait to say something and become friends first.

Becoming someones friend does not have to be in long term relationship building. It very well be stating to a stranger, "I love you" in your actions and words to them. People listen to friends...and they fight their enemies.

If we present the Gospel to them i don't want to be unfriendly but kind and even if they reject it or accept it i will love them still and be exactly what you explained above. I just want to know should we be like missionaries and the disciples or become scared to open them with the truth of the gospel.

First, don't loose your zeal. Let the Lord lead you in everything you do. Take time to pray and seek the Lord...even if just for a moment before you respond. Practice His presence first.

Secondly, never be affraid to share the Gospel. Never.

Thirdly, sometimes the "turn or burn" approach, no matter how delicately, does not always open doors for people. Approach on people MATTERS. They are still people, and we need to treat them as such. If someone is in a gross sin, call them on the mat.

Most every conversation I have with people is geared towards glorifing the Lord in some way. When I am out to share the gospel (which is about every second that I am out in public), I try to befriend the person and will que in on certain key words from that person. Once that que is in place, the door opens for the Gospel to be shared. this can be done in as little as 30 seconds my friend... all the while being their friend. If you need a couple examples, let me know and I would be happy to share. :-)

I already know what i believe on this, i just wanted to know how to respond to my friend about the spreading of the gospel should not be waited on but done all the time.

You are called to preach the gospel all the time, but how you approach it is the key.

Thanks for the reply miccah you put the stamp right on the dot, but i think that would precede following the message of the Gospel. My opinion.

[u][b]Romans 12:16 (NKJV)[/b][/u]

...Do not be wise in your own opinion.

learn wrote:

What will they think of you if you are not successful in converting them and when they realise what's your motive in making friends with them.

If you hide why you want to become friends with someone, then yes that is wrong. But once someone builds a relationship with me, they realize that that IS the only reason that I am becoming friends with them, if they are not saved. And that is to bring them to the Cross.

Why else would you become friendly with the world if it is not to help bring them out of it?

Paul did not become friends with the heathen to hang out with them, he became friends with them to win them over. Anything less is pure worldliness.

thanks guys for the help i appreciate your kindness.

Miccah wrote:

learn wrote:

What will they think of you if you are not successful in converting them and when they realise what's your motive in making friends with them.

If you hide why you want to become friends with someone, then yes that is wrong. But once someone builds a relationship with me, they realize that that IS the only reason that I am becoming friends with them, if they are not saved. And that is to bring them to the Cross.

Why else would you become friendly with the world if it is not to help bring them out of it?

Paul did not become friends with the heathen to hang out with them, he became friends with them to win them over. Anything less is pure worldliness.

I don't exactly agree with you Miccah if I understand you correctly.

When bumping into people (eg: in airplanes), one will most likely only have 1 chance to spread the gospel. There's usually not much chance of making a relationship with them in this case. (Paul Washer's clip which I've earlier attached will help in this aspect).

On the other hand, if it were somebody that you will 'meet more often' eg: at work, neighbour etc, then if the only purpose for making friends with them is to spread the gospel, then I think its wrong. People will be more willing to come to you when they see your actions, that you care for them as a person etc then just seeing them as an 'object for conversion'. Love and mercy goes a long way in getting people to be interested in Christ.

I've attached a short bio of Jackie Pullinger's here.

https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=726&forum=34

Also, in Paul's case, his 'full time job' was to spread the gospel. He is not working in an office job and at the same time 'sharing the gospel with non-believers in the office'. So there's some difference here.

Also, when 'hanging out', if this were a non-Christian neighbour or a colleague, it doesn't mean that we should refuse to go out with them unless the only reason is to convert them to Christ. We can go out with them because we want to convert them to Christ and also because we realise that they are human beings. (It doesn't mean that we need to go out with them all the time or go out with them on outings that will be despicable to God)

Just a hypothetical situation. Now, if I have a non-Christian friend (A) that I am unable to convert but I have 2 other Christian friends (B & C) that are willing to witness to this non-Christian friend who stay close to A, guess which one I will choose first --B or C? B is a Christian who loves God and people while C is a Christian that solely aims to be friends with A just because he wants to convert A. I'm certainly going for B first and may not be interested in giving C a shot. In fact, I may not even let C be near A to witness because I'm scared that C will do more damage to Christianity in my mind to A.

Isn't the commands from the Lord also to include love your neighbour as yourself.

Quote :
Miccah wrote:
But once someone builds a relationship with me, they realize that that IS the only reason that I am becoming friends with them, if they are not saved. And that is to bring them to the Cross.

Why else would you become friendly with the world if it is not to help bring them out of it?
End quote

People like Corrie Ten Boom and her family, Amy Carmichael etc--they all loved God and loved people. You can love people without loving the world.

Corrie Ten Boom's family for example would have a cup of hot coffee or soup for anyone that needed them. Amy Carmichael would shelter runaways etc. They did it because they loved the people--and not just solely because they wanted to convert people. By their actions, people could see Christ in them and so when they tell about the gospel, people would believe.

There was an old Chinese man that was imprisoned for many years for his believe and when he was freed, people knelt down and I believe that they converted to Christ.

Our actions count. If we are unable to love these people for who they are and all we want is to befriend them to preach the gospel, then we will be far from successful.

I'll leave with these words from Jackie Pullinger's bio.

She agonized about it for days. “If God has called me to be here why aren’t people responding?” One morning she realized what was wrong. She’d been telling people that God loves them and that Jesus loves them and wants to forgive them but she’d not been loving them in any practical way

Her new and very practical approach yielded a remarkable response. Providing food, shelter and healthcare, visiting prisons, speaking up for victims, these became the ingredients of her everyday life. The situation was so transformed that even the drug barons watched out for her safety

Also, Amy Carmichael's words :
You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving."

I belive that nobody in this world has got the power to save,other than Christ Himself,i also believe that christianity is a lifestyle,and the way we live our daily lives matters alot,we are just like the Donkey that carried Jesus to Jerusalem,it was just obeying the will of its master,when Jesus comes into your life,He will affect the way you Talk,Think...Live,since its no longer you that live but Him in you.
About the Agency of the situation i would say that if it was you,the Lord wanted to use to lead the person to salvation,He will provide an oppotunity to do so,but we should pray always,for them and for His will to be done.as a closing point i repeat,nobody has the ability to save,its not your effort,but His power.Jesus was and still is a friend to all.We should be like Him,we are not becoming friends to save them since we cant,but every day they meet us,they meet Jesus who is in us.Also remember not everyone who saw Jesus in Bibilical times got Transformed.

live your christian life,Christ will draw the lost into the flock through your life.Question,The way you are living today,can Christ use you as an instrument for His Work?are you driving them away or drawing them near.The evangelist does not start preaching when he steps in the pulpit,neither does he stop when he steps out....its continous,its a life.How he spends his daily life matters alot.Have friends who are not saved,but let the way you live with them,point to Christ.Example(Its like when you go fishing,be where the fish are,study their migratory routes,but dont become a fish)

Thanks for all the replies. The way to evangelize and walk in the light goes together. I believe in spreading to at the right time. Only God can save but without a preacher they don't know the truth so somebody needs to tell them