My marriage is in trouble

Hi. Please pray for my marriage. The Lord knows all about it but tomorrow is the deciding factor of whether we split up or not. I'm pretty much new to the Faith and my wife is also a Believer. This is my doing as well but it came out of the blue yesterday and I know I'm not sanctified like I should be and I emotionally damaged my wife. I'm a terrible husband and know I need the Power of Christ to overcome. I'm asking that my wife and I fast for 6 days to break this evil spirit tormenting me before we are divorced. Tomorrow she will decide. Please pray that not only does God rescue my marriage but that He also breaks this thing that has power over my life that prods me to speak hurtful words. I feel so dirty inside. I wept last night as my wife stayed at her sister's asking Jesus to just come and reveal Himself physically to me and to deliver me but nothing seemed to have happened. I know He's in control though but I feel so helpless. Please pray for my wife and I.

I will pray for you and your wife.

Believe Christ. Wholeheartedly take Him at His word:

John 7:37  ¶In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38  He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

John 10:10  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

He promises that ABUNDANT life to you and your marriage. Believe it! Receive it! He has NEVER lied, and He is not a respector of persons! His word is just as true for you as it has been for the millions through the ages who have known His deliverance!

Jesus said: Luke 4:18  The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

That deliverance that He preached IS FOR YOU!!! Accept it! Whole-heartedly believe it!

In your believing, don't expect any certain feeling as a sign to you that it has happened. Don't trust your feelings. They may be like a roller coaster ride. Whole-heartedly trust Christ's eternal and powerful words!

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I will be praying for you.

Sincerely,

Brother Michael

Yes, I will pray.

Dear Brother,

As Greg mentioned, I think you both need to take some counseling from a pastor/elder of a church.
If you attend any church, it would be good for you both to share this problem with the pastor/elders there and I am sure that they will be able to help you.
And please don't take any decision without first meeting the Church authority (Otherwise you may regret the decision later in life).

Love/Prayers,
Arun.

[i][size=x-small]James 5:14-16: 14[/size][/i]
[i][size=x-small]"Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him...And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."[/size][/i]

Dear Brother,

May the Lord have his way in your life, and may He heal and restore your marriage.

Over 35 years ago my wife left me, and she had good reason for doing so. The Lord used all of this, and the conviction of the Holy Spirit came upon me, and I got saved in my own home, praying beside my bed. Even though we have gone through many trials in our marriage, we have both known that divorce was not an option, and today by the grace of God our marraige is better than ever.

Give the Lord first place in your marraige and trust Him to bring about healing and restoration.

We are praying for you and your wife.

In His Love,

Mike

Thank you for your prayers! My wife came home this morning and woke me up to a kiss and said we'd talk once she got back this evening. She said she wouldn't divorce me. I don't think we need counseling though. She's very godly. It's my own personal issues that stem from many many years ago that I always said "was under the Blood" but the effects have lasted until now and have harmed my marriage and my relationships and my walk with God. I never confronted these things but will confront them now and talk with my wife about all of this tonight.This was the first time since my conversion that I emotionally damaged my wife with hurtful things and if you knew her you'd see Jesus in her and I did this for no reason because it's in me and every time I say "I have victory" it rises up and I can't seem to break free but this was the first time I let it actually manifest and I'm so sad that I did this. I don't need marriage counseling but personal counseling but more than that I need to be set free from this bondage that torments me.I hate it. I hate it with all that I am. It's literally all my fault. My wife is so loving she loved me when everyone else would have turned away and she prayed for me often asking God to save me and He finally did when even I thought there was no hope for me to be saved.But my wife prayed through and continued to love me even when she should have left me long ago.Apart from Jesus she's my everything. That's what makes me so sick. It's like I've done all of this to Jesus because when I look at my wife she's just like Him.I need to be delivered. I experience more than temptations in some areas. These are IN me and are dark vile things that God has cleansed me from but some of them come suddenly and I feel like there's no escape even though I know there is. But it feels like there isn't. I don't know what to do to get free. I've always thought counseling was for the weak but I've realized how weak I am so it must be for me. My wife doesn't deserve this and neither does God or anyone else. I want to be free. This has been 15 years of the same life pattern and only in the past few months since turning to Jesus has it changed but it came back one time already with a vengeance and I hate it. Please keep praying for my wife and marriage and for me. I need this deliverance. I don't want to go to Hell, or to lose my Jesus or to ever go back to what I was. Jesus is my only answer but I have such a hard time reaching Him for His Delivering Power. He speaks gently to my heart and loves me and I want so bad to walk with Him bondage free but I keep doing it in my own strength because I don't know how to do it in His like I should. I'm all messed up and need out of this trap of bondage. Thank you for letting me pour out my thoughts. This is a great forum with godly saints. I love you for praying for me especially since you don't even know me. You have no idea how that makes me feel inside. -Jesuscansave

Good that your wife had come back- pleased to see that.

But, i agree with Krispy- 'Counseling is a wonderful thing, which can really help you out of many a trouble (personal and family issues).'
In-fact, i think that many problems keep knocking at us because we don't learn to share our problems with others (esp. the elders).

And, dear brother: this is exactly what all the brothers have been doing on SI/this forum (counseling, i mean!).

Kind regards,
Arun.

[i][size=x-small]Proverbs 11:14[/size][/i][i][size=x-small]Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.[/size][/i]

[i][size=x-small]Proverbs 24:6[/size][/i]
[i][size=x-small]For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.[/size][/i]

Hi brother,

My prayers go out to you perhaps in a different way. Along with the good counsel of others here that you find a true saint, a pastor to confide in I also believe without a shadow of doubt that there is much right here that will do your heart good and if you will allow it, a great sweeping change of attitude, character and disposition.

It can come in many forms. Sermons. Keith Daniel comes to mind and there are a number of excellent messages on marriage here, they altered my own perception greatly some years back.

But what might really challenge and shape you are those things that we tend to think don't pertain to us often. That is, counter agents. For instance pride. It's opposite would seemingly be humility and it is - but patience, [i]not speaking[/i] when the vile flesh and corruption of these fallen minds rises up, being always prayerful as difficult as it is - A multitude of things.

What I am trying to state is that they come often from things that you do not suppose, from areas that seem to pertain differently. Reading and listening to these great living dead, the puritans as they are some times called had a great demand about them, they draw things out of us, they pull at the conscience and the conviction, they challenge the perceptions, it all depends on our absorption and propensity, willingness to hear not merely listen but to allow these things deep down into our being.

Brother, I would warn against too much navel gazing as it was admonished to me by this very same wonderful crowd over the years. You can get many things up in your head and strive to preform them, promise yourself that you will do so but it is your disposition that needs altering - I am speaking from a great deal of experience. Comparisons and contrasts will do you much good. Read\\listen to autobiographies of these great saints, there is a series by John Piper here for instance that is tremendous on that level, it gives you a perspective on what they went through and by comparison it can be very humbling.

I am running on here a bit but brother, my situation is quite a bit different than yours, I have been married now for ten years and cannot go into details, but it is somewhat opposite - The overriding factor is just [i]patience[/i] and prayer. I learned the hard way through similar reactions of regret and anger, of forcing myself (that is my opinion) and of just 'giving up' and becoming embittered, I tried everything it seemed all to no avail, pleading and pouring out my heart, a plying for sympathy though I had thought it was just being honest, I could go on and on. Do you see brother what you have in your wife? Cherish it. I take no wishes from you and praise God that you have a wife who loves the Lord, let that spur you on, on to working on your character and disposition, those very things that speak louder than words.

Be encouraged and humbled, they do go togther, far more than we might suppose.

[i]Husbands, love your wives[/i]
Col 3:19, Eph 5:25

Thank you all for your continuing prayers and counsel. I sat last night with my wife and wept and physically trembled as I confessed my need for deliverance from bondage to tormenting thoughts and emotions that can only come from the enemy that rise up from within me. I confessed my deepest secrets and asked her forgiveness and asked her to be patient with me. My wife will pray and fast and said she loves me and wants to continue our marriage. Many things were shared and talked about that allowed a burden to be lifted. I have always had a massively hard time accepting God's Love. Due to the sensitivity of the issue I won't go into details of course or speak much of it, but as a child I was taken into a van by a man and then to his home and brutally violated. That and other events warped my mind on what love is and what authority is and as a result I've battled with rage and authority issues all of my life. When the man who led me to Christ showed me genuine Godly love my first thought was "What does this man want?" when in fact he had genuine godly love, but my mind thinks so differently and I've really always been ashamed of it so never ever spoke of it except once to my Pastor in passing, very briefly. But my wife has also shown me the same Godly love, praying for me and seeking God for me and fasting and loving me when I was most certainly unloveable. Not wanting to appear as though I blame my childhood events and because of huge shame, I never spoke of these things, but last night I did and confessed I don't want to think and feel as I do but I don't know how to break free. But God says, "Is THIS not the fast that I have chosen?" and His Word has promised to deliver so though my flesh is weak I know that if I begin to pray and fast and seek God's face with all of my heart that He can and will break these bondages and false patterns of thinking. Faith has come into my heart and hope is being restored again. My wife loves me and stands for our marriage and didn't reject me or think less of me when I bore my heart to her in shame last night. Theres so much farther to go, but I know that God is with us. Please keep us in your prayers still. I'm extremely weak and many times feel like a failure but know that I have to remove myself from thinking that God's Love is based on what I do rather than on what Christ did. Thank you all so much for these prayers and for your counsel.