marriage: how old is too old

Question: What is the opinion about a very Godly 59 yr old missionary man being interested in a 33 yr old Godly woman?

i have a problem with the 59 year old being "very Godly" and the other being godly. how can anyone be Godly in this depraved state? we can strive to be like God, but I don't think that ever makes us Godly.

Age is arbitary, but remember that the Apostle Paul desired that we would stay single so we could focus on the work God has set before us. A married man has to worry about his wife where as a single man can focus more attention on God. That does not mean that all should stay single, but if the union is something that God has called both to, then they ought to do it.

fuehrerbe21 wrote:
how can anyone be Godly in this depraved state?

Grace.

2Co 11:2 For [b]I am[/b] jealous over you with [b]godly[/b] jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

2Ti 3:12 Yea, and all that will live [b]godly[/b] in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

Tit 2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and [b]godly[/b], in this present world;
Tit 2:13 Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ;

2Pe 2:9 The Lord knoweth how to deliver the [b]godly[/b] out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:

If there is a problem calling someone godly, then the problem is with the Bible because the Bible calls some men godly.

fuehrerbe21 wrote:
i have a problem with the 59 year old being "very Godly" and the other being godly. how can anyone be Godly in this depraved state? we can strive to be like God, but I don't think that ever makes us Godly.

I know I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but what is it exactly your trying to say? I will not get into the exact age difference, but my wife and I have a very large age difference and have only been married once and that's to each other, is this a sin or something? :-(

Age is arbitary, but remember that the Apostle Paul desired that we would stay single so we could focus on the work God has set before us. A married man has to worry about his wife where as a single man can focus more attention on God. That does not mean that all should stay single, but if the union is something that God has called both to, then they ought to do it.

there is nothing unbiblical about two people marrying who have significant age differences. Regardless of age, two people should only marry if God has called them to marriage.

Well if you are wondering about the age. I would have to say you are both still young enough. Freeborn Garrettson didn't marry his wife until he was 41, who was also 41. I also know of a couple that married at 73 and 65. So no problems here.

As far as all the refences the rest of you are making to I Corinthians 7, I am amazed at the balance that Paul brings out in the chapter...

Ruthiepoothie wrote:
Question: What is the opinion about a very Godly 59 yr old missionary man being interested in a 33 yr old Godly woman?

What does the 33 year old Godly woman think about it? (huge grin) The age doesn't matter if they both have common interests and are alike in many areas of their life. And if they both get "more interested" in each other and having prayed about it and sought God's wisdom and they want to marry, then go for it.

I have heard from several different sources that people who want to get married should know each other a minimum of 18 months to see how each handle many different situations. 18 to 24 months is a good time to see what the other person is made of. Satan likes to rush us so we don't see the things we should see in another person... that everyone around us sees but us!

Marriage is MUCH more than romance anyway because romance is a relatively new term from the last 100 years or so. He can be a young 59 and she can be an old soul of 33!! Only God knows. But much patience will have to be had on both sides.

Personally, there are two people who will tell us the truth, those that hate us and those that love us! Seek wisdom on your knees and also from those that God has put around you and then heed their advice.

God bless

I would say ,be led of the spirit. If its God go for it.

You will however face a huge dillema in about 10 or 15 years with that big of age diff.

Single is better spirritually. Relationships are complicated.

Sinlge and longing for companionship is much better than the marriage from hell.

psalm1 wrote:
You will however face a huge dilemma in about 10 or 15 years with that big of age diff.

dilemma ha? is that what it is? I will tell my wife that, man I just thank God for some of the newer drugs some really can help preserve your relationship, I will just leave it there, I know most Christians, at least the ones I know have a very vivid imagination. :-P

I suppose all would agree the scriptures give us no directives on how old a person should be when he/she marries to who ever.

However, the reality of age, dying and the lost of energy inherent to aging should be considered by the younger person in marrying a much older person.

Many oldsters get so preoccupied with meds, lost of health that it bores younger people to distraction. Some seriors are in excellent health but this is not the norm.

Then there is the change of interests that happens when age creeps up. Interests are steady but let the 60s sneak up on you, some changes occur.

In my opinion, the younger one should carefully and prayerfully consider the age difference and the problems this can cause to the younger one who may end up being a caregiver when she would rather participate in some very active sports, or whatever....and he has no energy to do it for various reasons. This could be a real cause for frustrations.

It is true age is a mental thing, but your body is a real thing, too. :-(

ginnyrose

ginnyrose wrote:
It is true age is a mental thing, but your body is a real thing, too. :-(
ginnyrose

Amen on that sister, I can tell you from experience and I am only 57 but in excellent shape for my age, I am not your normal pot belly old man :-P. I will say this, being married to a younger lady has given me more of a reason to take better care of myself and not just let go like I "might" if I were married to someone the same age, just a thought.

I am only 57 but in excellent shape for my age, I am not your normal pot belly old man . I will say this, being married to a younger lady has given me more of a reason to take better care of myself and not just let go like I "might" if I were married to someone the same age, just a thought.

Can I write something funny about this or should I just let it go? For once, I may just let it go and wish you the best! :-)

ginnyrose

My thoughts, perhaps the older man wishes to marry the young woman to ensure she be cared for should anything happen to him. A woman of 33 is grown and can make a decision for herself. Good men are not growing on trees.

It is most important that they have talked at length and prayed and sough counseling as much as it may be available. Look at Boaz and Ruth, he was old. . .

The most important part is that there is a good friendship between them and not a romance. Romance does not last but as long as you can remain friends and have respect, one for another, and enjoy each others company, marriage is one of the blessings of God.

Regards,
white stone

Romance does not last but as long as you can remain friends and have respect, one for another, and enjoy each others company

Not to be insensitive to various trying situations in many marriages, but I think that many will testify that romance can get stronger with each year of marriage. I've been married for almost 18 years, and the romance I have now with my wife is more fragrant, deeper and intimate, and satisfying now then it was when we were first married. It is happily way beyond the category of respectful friendship.

Blessings,

MC

Hello MC,

Glad you still have Romance. :-) My husband and I have been married 35+ and couldn't be closer but there is none of the 'TV & Movie' kind of romance. There is a deep love and knowing what the other is going to say before they say it but no violins. None needed. After living the life we have had there is no doubt in my mind that ours is indeed a match made in Heaven, although both of us were seriously back slidden when we met.

One of these days I hope to tell you more about it. It is a long story and I want to get to know you all a little more first.

Cheers,
white stone

Thanks for the clarification White Stone. :-)

I only inserted my comment because it seems these days marriage gets a bad rep even in the church. (edit: I certainly understand there can be extreme difficulties.)

In short I think it's worth mentioning that some spouses are refreshing and supportive wells of love and understanding. People need to still believe that a devoted Christian spouse can be a beautiful expression of God's unfailing love. :-) I'm not even sure the marriage needs to be a match made in heaven, as long as both of the people are seated in heavenly places.

By the way, congratulations on 35 years of marriage. 35 is a wonderful testimony in and of itself and especially fitting to share on Thanksgiving day.

MC

Without Jesus - I can do nothing. All the glory goes to Him.

I appreciate your kind comments,
white stone

I had received a PM on the content I posted in this thread by a poster, I truly believe anyone that really knows me here knows even though my posts or responses may be of the humorous kind that I by no means have "ever" posted anything here to be anything but a G rated comment.
Some of us Christians need to wake up to the fact that just because someone reads something in the way they do, it really don't mean they was what the poster meant it to be it was only the way you interrupted it "from cyber space" if we all agreed on everything we read here, this forum would be useless, we set all day posting scriptures and our personal opinions on what they mean, right?
I did apologize to the person that thought I was trying to create images "which anyone that knows me" knows I was not. What I was trying to do was open up some minds that may be in the lock down mode because of some Christians that make them feel guilty of even waking up in the morning and offer an idea to someone that might be reading this, and use my experience to maybe restore a marriage. I really did not feel lead to apologize but some folks if you just don't apologize and get it over with it sometimes just keeps the stick stirring and the strife between the two going on and I did not want this. I would also like to say that trust me, I have heard a lot of sermons preached straight from the pulpit that would make my remark look like David compared to Goliath "my remark being the David remark".:-) I did not come back here with the intentions to condone or condemn what I said, I came to say we should all get to know someone a little better before "slamming" them in a PM, and this person really slammed me like I was a dog, in my opinion.

What happens when the wife gets to be 60ish and her husband is 80something??? My dad was 80 when he died and while he was in relative good health I am sure glad I am [i]not[/i] married to an 80+YO! Each to his own. But just do not forget that when the 60s and 70s creep up, changes do occur and it makes the possessor more keenly aware of his mortality. And that brings its own challenges.

I would suggest the lady who is considering marrying a man much older then she, to take a close look at men in their 70s, 80s and then decide if she would like to be married to a man like that, with the limitations age imposes on a body.

Keep up the exercise, Bill, and do not forget to eat your oat bran muffins! :-D

ginnyrose