Dear David,
Brother ... Can I ask you to slow down a bit?
There is good reason for this. One of the chief reasons, and actually your post is very timely, is that we have been discussing amongst ourselves (as moderators) something geared towards toning down a lot of the rhetoric of these two constructs.
Rather then get into all the details now - it amounts to just far too much strife. This site is rich with [i]both[/i] persuasions and contrary to what might be thought, not everyone falls into one or the other, in fact that I believe is far often more the trouble - That the tendencies are to color everything [i]through[/i] them in the first place, ... I digress.
What I did want to offer however was a couple of things you might want to take a look at. One, regarding Luther - It caught me somewhat off guard in being somewhat a stickler for source material but also due to the context that Luther wrote what we consider such an ill-advised treatise - Rather than go into it all ...
[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?mode=viewtopic&topic_id=22516&forum=40&start=70&viewmode=flat&order=0]Luther , Calvin , Zwingli and the reformation.....[/url]
If you scroll down a couple of replies there are a handful of links to that which I mentioned. It is still difficult but might give you some other considerations.
The other is the following, taken from (and highly recommended) John Piper's series of biographies of past saints, one who has become a new favorite that I had never knew of, Charles Simeon:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But he had little sympathy for uncharitable Calvinists. In a sermon on Romans 9:16, he said,
Many there are who cannot see these truths [the doctrines of God's sovereignty], who yet are in a state truly pleasing to God; yea many, at whose feet the best of us may be glad to be found in heaven. It is a great evil, when these doctrines are made a ground of separation one from another, and when the advocates of different systems anathematize each other. . . . In reference to truths which are involved in so much obscurity as those which relate to the sovereignty of God mutual kindness and concession are far better than vehement argumentation and uncharitable discussion (Horae Homileticae, Vol. 15, p. 357).
An example of how he lived out this counsel is seen in the way he conversed with the elderly John Wesley. He tells the story himself:
Sir, I understand that you are called an Arminian; and I have been sometimes called a Calvinist; and therefore I suppose we are to draw daggers. But before I consent to begin the combat, with your permission I will ask you a few questions. Pray, Sir, do you feel yourself a depraved creature, so depraved that you would never have thought of turning to God, if God had not first put it into your heart?
Yes, I do indeed.
And do you utterly despair of recommending yourself to God by anything you can do; and look for salvation solely through the blood and righteousness of Christ?
Yes, solely through Christ.
But, Sir, supposing you were at first saved by Christ, are you not somehow or other to save yourself afterwards by your own works?
No, I must be saved by Christ from first to last.
Allowing, then, that you were first turned by the grace of God, are you not in some way or other to keep yourself by your own power?
No.
What then, are you to be upheld every hour and every moment by God, as much as an infant in its mother's arms?
Yes, altogether.
And is all your hope in the grace and mercy of God to preserve you unto His heavenly kingdom?
Yes, I have no hope but in Him.
Then, Sir, with your leave I will put up my dagger again; for this is all my Calvinism; this is my election, my justification by faith, my final perseverance: it is in substance all that I hold, and as I hold it; and therefore, if you please, instead of searching out terms and phrases to be a ground of contention between us, we will cordially unite in those things wherein we agree. (Moule, 79f)
[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?viewmode=flat&order=0&topic_id=25079&forum=34&post_id=&refresh=Go]Spurgeon - Mueller - An Important Series ~ Piper's Biographies[/url]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the record I am neither\\both - A long time ago I made up my mind, refusing to confine my thoughts into a construct and then find workarounds for everything that puts them to a challenge. But beyond that I have held a very healthy suspicion that neither of these two main men of such a long running feud amongst Christians ever conceived or purposed to set them forth as the constructs they have now become. In fact in some recent notices elsewhere came across some notations that Calvin actually downplayed some his earlier stances later on in life (I do not know this for fact).
I am putting forth more than I care to here but there is a great deal of unnecessary emphasis either way, that is that it often becomes a contrivance of intellect, a battle of wits, warring over scripture and gets us all precisely nowhere further than we started. My advice to all is to pretend as if you never heard any of it, as if anyone who is presented or represented here never held to either - Then you are never left guessing, wondering or having some nagging suspicion if this or that preacher is ____ or ______.
It's greatly overstating it, a bit of hyperbole but other than those who have made mention of it, a Spurgeon, a Wesley most I do not really know nor care to know and I love both of these men of God. It's not that the subject matter isn't worth discussing, it's just not worth ... drawing swords over.
One of these days I will get back to a project that I started here. The idea was to present as many seemingly contradicting out-takes of various holders of these two constructs, but without naming them right away. Presenting Finney alongside Calvin and Spurgeon and Wesley and any other number, taken from right in our midst. With the sole purpose of showing how much more these men gave to us all then these lone perspectives of a multifaceted diamond.
And betting that many would be quite surprised hearing them detached from those moorings. Likely not even able to guess who was who.