Please Help Me!!!

I've been a born-again christian 4 about 2 years now and i've never struggled as much before as i am right now.

it seems like the whole foundation i built my relationship with Christ on is crumbling. its like i dont understand God anymore and no matter how much i scream and cry at night He wont reveal Himself 2 me. He's just dissappeared. im beginning 2 wonder if maybe He's just been my imaginary friend these last 2 years.

im a big reader, but i cant trust any1 anymore. its like everyone is teaching something false according 2 others. the bible can be interpreted in so many ways it seems like and i dont know who to believe. so i've just given up reading all-2gether. the bible doesnt make sense anymore like it used 2. whats happening 2 me?

men are so undependable, God has gone missing, and im here by myself. its like hell on earth

im a big reader, but i cant trust any1 anymore.

Welcome to SI.

Hard to know, but can I ask or suggest, maybe it's what you are reading? What have you read?

A long time ago was in a similar confusion and a very dear, spiritual astute lady in a Christian bookstore pointed me to the classics of the faith. It soon led to this very site. There is a wealth of resources available here.

Have you read any of the Puritans?

HizGurl,

I have to agree with what has already been written here. I too, when I first got saved spent a lot of time reading Christian books and watching Christian TV. I assumed that everybody who was writing or preaching about Jesus was sincere and truthful. It eventually led me to the same frustration you are experiencing, where I didn’t know what to believe. For a time I put down all books other than the Bible. Eventually I too discovered the treasure in older, time tested works and have found many that have been a great help to me in my walk with Christ.

But dear sister, it is the mercy of God if your foundation is crumbling, if the foundation you are building on has been the wrong foundation. Through prayer, Bible reading and study, and the fellowship of older (female) saints in your church, trust the Lord to rebuild your faith according to what is right and true.

So many of us here have gone through similar things. We understand the fear and doubt and feelings that the Lord is far, far away. And we will be praying for you.

Danielle

I agree with what crsschk said below. The puritans will give you a strong foundation along with your daily bible reading. In the past did you study the word of God ? If not I would advise that you study it verse by verse, book by book that way you don't hydroplane over important text. It takes time and commitment but you will inject strong bible doctrine into your diet and end up being a strong rock when it comes to your faith not being turned about by every wind of doctrine. Many of the modern day guys lack substance because they target a certain audience (the man centered bunch). But what you will find when you read the puritains like Thomas Watson,John Owen, and Matthew Henry is they had a relentless passion for christ and their material always points you to the scriptures and the great bible doctrines in the word of God.

Here are some key points I use in judging a book

1. When your reading always look to see if christ is exalted John 16 says that it is the job of the Holy Spirit to exalt Jesus. Does Jesus become number one when your reading this stuff

2. Always see if the material your reading motivates and empowers you to walk in sanctification John 17:17 says his word is truth and that by it we are purged or sanctified. if the material does not produce sanctification trash it. If something is biblically sound it always points to sanctification.

3. When your reading a book is it pointing you to holiness. What holiness is in a nutshell is separation and to be other. what I mean by that is this. does your reading material separate you from the world, the devil, and the flesh does it aggressivly attack sin in your life.

4. Does this material bring glory and exaltation to God. Does it place him upon the throne of your heart as sovereign lord or does it place you, or your ambitions upon the throne as lord. 1 corin 10:31 says all things should be done to the glory of God so ask the question does this reading material glorify God does it exalt him and his marvelous attributes does it cause me to run to him and love him as a precious jewel.

Hope that Helps dear friend.

josef urban,

thanx 4 that encouragement. ive made a commitment 2 God that i'll read His Word every day whether or not i understand and 2 memorize at least a chapter a week. it just seems so dry and a dont get it. its so confusing because it used 2 be like manna 2 me. honestly i didnt think any1 would reply. may God bless u for the encouragement. i will wrestle with Him till he blesses me. i just dont know how much longer i will have the strength 2 hold on 2 Him. please pray 4 me

crsschk,

thanks, im starting 2 like it here. mainly i've been reading books from authors like cs lewis, aw tozer, and kp yohannan. ive also read alot of max lucado, ravi zacharias and other more modern books. i haven't read any of the puritans that i know of. any suggestions?

brokenone,

thank u so much 4 ur concern and advice, danielle. i guess when u put it that way it makes alot of sense. perhaps my foundation was completely erranous. i wish i had older female sisters to teach me and keep me acountable. but it seems like everyone i know is more interested in talking about what im doing wrong then showing me whats rite. i talked 2 my church's pastor and his wife about all my doubts and struggles but it didn't help much. and they havent mentioned it once afterward or asked me how im doing. i dont know, would u suggest i talk 2 some1 else?

fuegodedios,

amen. wow ur absolutely right. i'm going 2 look into these puritan writer yall are all mentioning. i have 2 say tho, my trust meter is very low at the moment. i guess its because theres so many preachers out there that are contradicting each other. say for instance paul washer, who preaches total depravity of man. in other words we have no choice in salvation. and then someone like john wesley who was an arminianist. id believe both to be earnest servants of God. but one of them has to be preaching falsehood. and if they are true born again men of God and filled with the His Spirit, than how is this possible and y would God allow it? sorry 4 the bad example, seeing as paul washer is still alive and john wesley isn't. it just seems 2 me like true christians should at least agree on all the major points of Christianity rite?

This is why I informed you to look at the scriptures with intensity verse by verse. The Holy bible has to be first and formost let it be an umpire to settle all arguements and debates that arise in our minds.. :-)

Hi sister,

That doesn't sound too far different than when I began, but actually it was Tozer that really set me back towards the Old Paths ...

None of these that you mentioned I would think would put you to confusion, maybe I was wondering if there wasn't some other infusion, what your church persuasion is, what they teach, Christian TV as was mentioned.

If I could throw in a suggestion, two actually about reading the scriptures that I gleaned from a dear pastor who contributes here and one many of us find very healthy and sound ...

In the former, it is to read the scriptures [i]slowly[/i], even if that means stalling over a section, a sentence and musing on it. Some day's that is as far as I go, other times I can read whole books or the majority of one. Whatever is your natural pace .. praying as you go.

The later was from Zac Poonen who said that he always tries to approach the scriptures as if he was reading them for the very first time. It is a tremendous thing I have found, it helps you to set aside some if not a lot of your preconceived ideas.

One more, now that I think of it. We used to talk about this quite a bit, but we are all in different places at any given time and sometimes a particular book is just not where we are at, it's fine in it's own time but may not be right now. It's something you will know and get a feel for after awhile.

I think Danielle had some very good observations about foundations, in my case I am so thankful that I was brought to such a crisis, but I was also somewhat caught up in the WOF-prosperity business even though it seemed to sit like a pit in my stomach. So, I guess we are somewhat guessing here as well.

You can try a search here on SI on what others are reading or have recommended - Try the
[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/articles/]Text Sermons[/url]. And of course there are the audio messages. The top downloads off the main page, quite a variety.

For the Puritans who are very much in appreciation here it may be more helpful to check out [url=http://www.gracegems.org/]Grace Gems[/url] as they are more collectively available in a cohesive sort of way.

[url=http://www.gracegems.org/Newton/John_Newton1.htm]John Newton's Letters[/url] Might be a good place, thought that is showing my bias, have been mightily impressed with his heart and grasp.

Another that our brother has been writing out by hand comes to mind and though it is directed at the 'youth' it really is speaking to a youth that was far better equipped in spiritual matters it appears than today. To these ears it sounds like meat for the mature saint frankly. Don't let the title fool you.

[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?viewmode=flat&order=0&topic_id=20768&forum=34&post_id=&refresh=Go]"Sober-Mindedness Pressed Upon Youth" Matthew Henry sermon modernized and in installments[/url]

I was very fortunate, almost immediately after getting saved, to find myself in the Bible study of a couple who were willing to invest in my life. Even now, 11 years later, they are still a huge part of my life. They know me, my weaknesses, where I am vulnerable to temptation. I treasure my relationship with these people, because I look around and see that even in the church it is rare to find someone who is interested in getting involved in your life.

You will not be able to make someone mentor you if they have no heart to do it, and even if you could, it would probably be a disaster. But pray and ask the Lord to send you someone. If there are Bible study groups in your church, you may want to consider getting involved. If you get around women who love the Word of God, chances are there will be someone there who will delight in teaching you how to be a godly woman. And while there should be much encouragement towards obedience and love to the Lord, there will also be corrections and rebukes. You must be prepared to receive both.

But HizGurl, I know many people who have never had someone personally mentor them. And you know what, the Lord takes care of them just fine. It is a wonderful blessing to experience the fellowship of mentoring, but even if this should not be made available to you, I pray that you will press in to know Jesus and follow Jesus and love Jesus with all your heart, no matter what.

God bless you sister.

Danielle

amen. wow ur absolutely right. i'm going 2 look into these puritan writer yall are all mentioning. i have 2 say tho, my trust meter is very low at the moment. i guess its because theres so many preachers out there that are contradicting each other. say for instance paul washer, who preaches total depravity of man. in other words we have no choice in salvation. and then someone like john wesley who was an arminianist. id believe both to be earnest servants of God. but one of them has to be preaching falsehood. and if they are true born again men of God and filled with the His Spirit, than how is this possible and y would God allow it? sorry 4 the bad example, seeing as paul washer is still alive and john wesley isn't. it just seems 2 me like true christians should at least agree on all the major points of Christianity rite?

Ah yes, of course. Didn't see this earlier ... Dear sister take Tozers advice in this matter and let it alone, look to studyng the scritures and prayer while everyone else is busying themselves in this endless debate ... Sigh, I am not quoting him verbatim and it is hard to know what might be challenging you in this regard ...

SermonIndex is probably the example of presenting both 'sides' of this without intention and with likely a wish that there were no sides to be drawn, we live with the seeming tension of it and tolerate to a certain extent the ... discussion when it is that, but frown on the ceasless arguing and strife that it often turns into. Maybe I want to say if the Lord is pressing something other on your heart I gurantee you that you can leave it alone for a season and when you come back you won't have missed a thing.

:-(

say for instance paul washer, who preaches total depravity of man. in other words we have no choice in salvation.

I think you might have misunderstood sister, just for the record - It's both, but hence the dilema and the argument. Both our depravity and our responsibility.

Not sure how long you may have been peering in here but we have been through a lot of uproar lately over all this, it tends to come and go like the tide. I have been hesitant to post something that seems to be a reasonable assimilation for fear of generating more food for fodder. But if it is the thing that is troubling you, maybe this might be of some help;

[url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=26292&post_id=204787&order=0&viewmode=thread&pid=0&forum=34#204787]Orgin~ Pink[/url]

There is a tremendous struggle that goes on when we accept Christ. We are choosing a new set of values, His values, over the values of the world. There is a reconciling process we must go through and actually continue to go through the rest of our lives. That naturally results in tension as there are two natures at war with each other.

Sadly, that is not the only source of tension. Thrown into the mix is a church that has not done a real good job of this reconciling process. Where we would hope to look to it for examples, often the good ones are few and far between. But they are there and I agree with what 'BrokenOne' said in relation to that; pray that the Lord would lead you to the right people. They are there.

I have been a Christian for 30 years. In the past 5, I have gone through a serious transformation. I had fallen short in that reconciling process and knew there was more to my Christianity than what I was currently experiencing.

In the process, I have prayed that the Lord would give me a new circle of friends that had a similar heart. I have been amazed at how He has done that. The Lord knows you need support. If you pray for it, and remain patient, He will provide those who will help you in your walk with Him. By the way, don't discredit those of us you will meet here. In a way, I felt as if I had found a gold mine when I found this forum.

I enjoy hooking up with other believers, both old and new, but I think I feel best when I have had the opportunity to encourage a new believer. In reading some of these posts, I can tell you have received at least a little help. I think it is one of, if not the best benefits of this site. Welcome to it.

Quote: I think the only thing we can do is to really believe that God is ok with us. That even though we can't escape confusion or even though it seems impossible to believe this, God will not forsake us in the end. End Quote:

Beloved, God is not the Author of Confusion. It is not His will for His children to live like this or struggle with confusion. To say you can't escape this confusion is to say God is not big enough to deliver you. Wrong.

We get confused sometimes when we get our information from the wrong source. Pastor BH Clendennen said it best, I think, "If you are God's and you have His Spirit, then you will know if I'm telling you truth." His Spirit only bears witness of Truth. If what you are reading confuses you and if what you are hearing confuses you, there is a reason. Turn it off. There is a process God takes us through-it is called the wilderness of our own hearts, where He shows us how short we fall, and it is devastating to someone who truly loves God, but He must strip us of all reliance on self. Those who belong to God and have His Spirit are precious-and the enemy will try to sift them by shooting fiery darts of doubt, confusion, anything to try to overthrow their faith. It is an inward agitation.

Remember, beloved, we were warned in the Bible many times false teachers would arise up in the last days.

If you are listening to preachers who are confusing you-and you have read your Bible enough to know right from wrong, shut them off. There are many voices in the world and there is only ONE still small Voice that will never lead you wrong.
And forgive me if this offends some of you Paul Washer fans out there, but he strikes me as a very angry watchman.
I am not saying He is wrong or a false preacher. But he is very angry. The wrath of man never works or can work in the righteousness of God because wrath is itself a work of the flesh.

[url=http://media.tscnyc.org/wmv/2071028S1.asx]Beware of Angry Watchmen[/url]

All Christians who are sincerely hungry for God go through a stripping process where He has to strip away the confidence in self, and in men. The prophet Jeremiah was in a bad place, and God told him in Jer 33:3 "Call unto Me and I will answer you and I will show you great and mighty things you do not know." (He will reveal Himself to those who seek Him and want to know Him.) I pray beloved you take about 45 minutes and watch the message "Beware of Angry Watchmen." This is God's cry to those who are hurting like you are. This was preached at Times Square Church in NYC by Carter Conlon.

crsschk,

Thanks 4 those suggestions. I'm beginning 2 think that maybe there is a glimmer of hope. Its funny, when i posted something 4 the first time i didn't think that any1 would reply. But I got a whole treasury of suggestions prayers within minutes. God bless u all 4 that. For awhile I thought that God had completely deserted me but would I be jumping 2 conclusions 2 quickly if I thought this was Gods way of showing me he cared?

Anyways I agree that maybe my confusion comes from what is being taught. It doesn't always agree with what I read and then I start questianing everything. I've decided 2 read my bible with such a ferociaty that I can still stand even when all around me tides break loose. And I believe God has sent me here to learn that. God bless u

Brokenone,

Yes I am praying 4 someone 2 mentor me and I believe that if God sees I need one, He'll send one in due time. At the moment tho, I believe He's sent all u at SI. Thank u so much for all ur insight. Its helped me more than u can imagine. I believe what helped most was realizing i had brothers and sisters out there who did care. May God bless u guys

paulmcg1,

To be very honest, ur post didnt bring much hope. I'm sorry 4 the condition ur in, but I hope im not where I am now in 5 years from now. Actually I'd rather die than live a life without God. The other day I was asking myself, "what will I do if I find that God will never again be part of my life?" I wondered if I would return back 2 the sinful life I had lived before and enjoy a season of sin before id spend an eternity in hell. But when I thought of it, I decided I could never do that. I thought I could only either take my life or I could live a selfdelusional life and pretend that God was with me. I realized that after id had a taste of God I will be forever longing 4 that again. My prayer 4 both of us is that he will not keep us at arms length but that he will be ever by our side