I cannot bear to go into the details, but today I had to tell my 2 sons (both over 18) to move out. They had been given warnings that they chose to ignore. And it got to the point that I felt like Eli, dishonoring God by allowing the sons’ behavior.
All I’ve done today is cry and I know the days ahead will be difficult. I don’t even know what else to say except that I desperately need your prayers.
Danielle
I will be praying Danielle - oh these matters of the heart . . .
May God's tender comfort be upon you in your sorrow.
Feeling all too often a hapless father myself, I've lamented many times with my dear wife that a person's opportunities to be heartbroken in this life rise in direct proportion to the number of children they have. It is a pain that most children cannot understand until they themselves are parents.
A few scriptures to comfort you and perhaps assure you...
Regarding your difficult course of action:
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing...
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away...
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak..."
Ecclesiastes 3
We can look to God trusting that our children, even our older and wayward ones, are still being watched over...even if he must wisely chasten them.
"Yet they say, "My Lord deserted us; he has forgotten us."
"Never! Can a mother forget her little child and not have love for her own son? Yet even if that should be, I will not forget you.
See, I have tattooed your name upon my palm..."
Isaiah 49.14-16
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. Matthew 18:10"
Blessings,
MC
Dear Danielle,
My prayers sister ... I cannot imagine the difficulty of this.
Dear sister
I will be praying for you. I know this is so difficult for you. I will be praying for you to find comfort in the Lord and that your boys will during this time away from home reflect on their behavior and see how dearly you love them in taking this step in hopes that they would return to Him.
God Bless you sister
MJ
Dear Sister,
I think we all feel your pain and weep with you. Thank you Father that you do comfort us. I recall how deeply Israel hurt the heart of God and then the heart of Jesus. You must be feeling some of that. I am one that hurt the heart of her mother for at least a year. Who knows how many years she held her breath and prayed hanging on to God. I will forever be thankful to God that we both lived long enough to rejoice together in the pure Divine Love and Wisdom of God.
I too am praying for you in these days. Maybe a bit odd here, but I am thinking you are one that knows the Joy of the Lord is your strength.
I will also join you in praying for these two men in your life. He knows the longings of your heart for the very ones He knit together in your womb. He knew what He was doing as they formed there, knows from the beginning to the end. The Arm of God is long and He knows how to Father, your sons and all of us.
Confidence in God and the sufficiency of His Love
Joan
Dear Sister Danielle,
Unfortunately there are far too many of us that can empathize from having this pain. Our Heavenly Father expressed that same pain all through the book of Hosea with Ephraim.
But there is hope for prodigals after they have been in the far country.
I will be praying.
Clint
Danielle,
You know dear Sister I'm you with this. I have prayed that you would be filled with wisdom and grace in all this.
He will so honor your obedience to Him and I know the days ahead will be rough but my biggest desire is that the Lord will part the waters before you and that you will see how He Himself will watch over your sons as well. Our children are VERY precious to Him and not just to us. I remember when I realised that, I knew it would be okay.
May they have food, shelter, and a strong presence of the Holy Spirit.
Keep us all posted. I see so many in the churches that have no fear that their children will end up in hell and I feel, myself, that I have been given a responsibilty to be their guide until they are grounded in the Lord.
Praise God that you truly care for their eternal conditions.
God Bless Sister, Kathleen
I want to thank everyone so much for the outpouring of support. Reading your responses helped me make it through last night. I mean that. I felt so alone, then Heartsong was there, then Compton, then Mike…..all of you.
I cried this morning, I went to church and cried, then went to a friend’s house and cried. I’ll probably cry tonight.
BUT, this morning as I listened to a message by John Piper, the truth of the sovereignty of God brought me great comfort. The tendency is to slip into self-pity, and I don’t want to do that. Even here, in this situation (and maybe especially in this situation) there exists the potential for God to be glorified. This is my desire.
I also was able to contact a brother at my church who has worked for 10 years in ministry to addicts. Joshua (my older son) will be meeting with him tomorrow at 2:45. Please pray for Joshua and for the brother who will be working with him (Roger).
Danielle
Danielle,
Be encouraged...I know EXACTLY what you are going through: been there, done that, unfortunately. And I can tell you from experience that to have wayward children is a lot harder to deal with then having a child die and we did that, too. Yes, we buried a 25 YO DD and have two wayward sons.
I well know the conflict a wayward child brings into the home. There is that constant strife one must live with and that just about kills a mother because she loves so much and it hurts so deeply to see a child spurn it.
One day as I was mulling our sons' decisions and wondered where we went wrong. I remembered a saying that was common back then: "that if you teach your children right, to trust you that when they get older they will transfer that trust to God" and since this was not happening, I concluded we must have failed miserably. Anyhow, as I was pondering on this issue, the Holy Spirit so clearly told me "You forget about being God, you be mom and let me be GOD!" Oh! praise the LORD! I thought "Yes, I can do that! I will be mom and back off and let God be God, let him take charge and responsibility for this child's salvation." This concept has lifted a huge burden off of me.
In the meantime, I still grieve when I see a deadness in his eyes. But I know God knows all about it and I will continue to pray. And another difficult thing is to realize that people make choices and if they choose to go to hell, you cannot stop it. Tragic, I know and God knows it better then we. I have concluded that God's anger against people who spurn his salvation is well justified.
God bless you and if you want to PM me you can do so or email me if you need a shoulder to cry on....
Love and blessings,
ginnyrose
I lost my mom just last sunday.
My brother lived with her srill.
(he is 40).
I begged her to show tough love but she
thought love meant ignoring everything.
What a toll he put on all of us because of it.
Now he is gonna have to grow up.
He needed a spanking years ago,
vyki
Danielle.
God gave me this Song.
I feel it is appropiate for you now.
"His Grace is Sufficient."
1-He sees our every heart-ache
He knows our every fear.
He made us in His image,
I know we're in His Care.
Though storm clouds gather round us,
Let's not be in despair,
For our Saviour is with us.
Our Burdens He will bear.
Chorus-
When the road is dark before us
And the River deep and wide.
We can trust the One who saved us,
He will never leave our side.
Though the tempest gather round us, and the Mountains are so high.
We have a Friend who walks beside us,
You see ,He loves you and I.
2-I do not know why He had to suffer
Upon the Cross of Calvary.
But His Grace is Sufficient,
His Blood has pardoned you and me.
So lets turn our eyes on Jesus,
The Precious Lamb, Who set us free.
For His Grace is Sufficient,
To cover you and me.
Read Romans 8:35-39.
Try to remember that God is still in control, no matter how things may look like they are out of control.
"Weeping may endure for the night, but Joy comes in the Morning.
May god lead, guide, and direct you.
Nellie
Sister Danielle,
Kieth Daniel preached a message "The Prodigal Son" [url=http://media.sermonindex.net/17/SID17725.mp3]here
Clint
Dear precious sister,
I have been praying for you and sorrow with you over the course your sons have chosen to take.
Last night I read this poem and thought of you. I hope that it brings encouragement to your heart to keep praying for your sons and believing God to do a great work in their lives that will glorify Jesus Christ.
[i]Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.
Keep them from the powers of evil
From the secret, hidden peril,
From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand pluck them,
Holy Father, save our children.
From the worldling's hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Through life's troubled waters steer them,
Through life's bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be Thou near them.
Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleadings thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.
And wherever they may bide,
Lead them Home at eventide.
~Amy Carmichael
You are loved, dear sister, by the Father above as well as by His saints here on SI. He cares, He knows, He hears, and He will answer.
With much love and prayer,
Joy
Very sorry to hear about your sons. I have 2 also. I can imagine the anquish.
Praying.
Danielle:
I just read this for the first time, and I am so very sorry for the sadness this must be on you.
God is Faithful,
B.
Nellie wrote:
Try to remember that God is still in control, no matter how things may look like they are out of control.
I am not an aethist.I love God and i agree with you- But my question is if God is in control why all this confusion. I can stop reading news- but will that stop the sad things happening to people- CROWN OF GOD'S CREATION- NO.
How can we pray so there is peace and abundant life for all- the homeless, the hungry, the abused, the lonely...
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