How Do We Raise Our Daughter?

I can second Greg's recommendation of the "Godly Home" series, it is outstanding.

Also, I like what my pastor says when leading a baby dedication ceremony at our church. He says to the parents, "remember that today you are not so much dedicating your children to the Lord as you are dedicating yourself to the upbringing of these precious eternal lives in a manner that brings glory to God and blessing to your home."

To that end of dedicating yourselves as parents to raise Godly children, I would suggest some in depth Bible study on the topic, [url=http://www.studylight.org/con/ttt/view.cgi?number=T90]HERE[/url] is a good place to begin.

In Christ,

Ron

Talking to other believers who have raised children may prove most helpful, outside of Bible study on the topic.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

he said that infants are vipers in diapers.

As a mom who raised five children to adulthood, and who now has eleven grandchildren, I cringed when I read this evaluation of a an infant. If an infant is a viper, know who birthed it and who fathered it: must be vipers, so if this is the case maybe you need to start there!

On the other hand, if it is a miniature human being, perhaps you need to regard it as a being made in the image of God, albeit, a fallen one. Now that would give you a totally different perspective. And this one I like.

An infant is a "viper in a diaper??" Lord have mercy!!! For the record, mine were not vipers, and neither was I nor my siblings nor were my husband or his siblings....

ginnyrose

he said that infants are vipers in diapers.

Not knowing the person and context in which this was said and praying that this was spoken in a "funny" manner...

That being said, being called a Viper, or in reference to the Word... Matthew 23:33, Luke 3:7, Matthew 12:34, Matthew 3:7, Jeremiah 8:17, Isaiah 59:5. Being referred to as a Viper is not a good thing.

Children are a blessing from the Lord Psalm 127:3-5

Brother, raise your children to be warriors for the Lord. They will be the ones on the front lines doing battle when we are long gone. Teach them His ways and pray without ceasing.

I believe the reference to vipers in diapers is simply trying to point out the inherit sinfulness of fallen man, even children.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

TaylorOtwell wrote:

I believe the reference to vipers in diapers is simply trying to point out the inherit sinfulness of fallen man, even children.

With care in Christ,
Taylor

Thank you for pointing out this view. I did not read it this way. :-)

Do you realize that this website promotes Buddhism, etc?

"The Dalai Lama, Pope John Paul II, and Abraham Heschel are three inspiring, spirit-filled religious leaders who chose the sacred and manifested love, even in the face of horrendous, violent oppression and destruction of the culture and people in and with whom they lived and loved."

Spirit-filled? What kind of spirit? Should we not test the spirits to see if they are of God?

"We are born, barring organic brain damage, as highly intelligent, zestful, curious, loving beings."

Are we really? Scripture says "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?" Jer 17:9

"Vipers in diapers"...just a thought. We do not have to teach our children to lie, cheat or steal, but they do it. I did it, and my mom wasn't there holding my hand in praise that she taught me something new.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Pro 1:7

This website seems a little off...

In Christ,
Candy

that the way she saw her first child was similar to Baucham's statement and it had it's affects on him by time he was 6 mo. old.

This makes lots of sense. If a mother considers her child to be a viper in diapers it will set the stage for her to abuse that child because women will instinctively want to kill a viper (or snake) so if a child is a snake, she will approach it in the same manner. This is consistent to what Paul says will characterize ungodly folks: "not having natural affection".

Jesus-is-God, so sorry your DD has this bad experience....what happens in those first few months can impact a child forever....

ginnyrose

Deuteronomy 6 is such a powerful and instructive passage for fathers. Your fathering is as good as your walk with God. Without Him, you will fail. See where this passage carries you in Scripture as you seek the Holy Spirit to guide you in all truth.

paul,

You have asked for advice on how to raise your newborn daughter. First off: Congratulations! You are in for an adventure and I wish you the best.

You will get much advice on the spiritual aspect of parenting so I will leave that for the moment and focus on the practical - inspired by trends I see in modern females. I am not ready to say these are spiritual issues, but they may impact the spiritual since the practical is so closely entwined with it.

1. Allow your child to be a child. This means she will make messes, among other things, and it is no use getting all bent out-of-shape when it happens.
2. Also, allow the child to cry unless it is mad: big difference there.
3. As your child grows older teach her orderliness: pick up toys and put them away at the end of the day; fix her bed after awakening in the morning; pick up her clothes - do not allow them to be thrown around.
4. Teach her to do routine cleaning on a schedule.
5. Encourage your child to develop skills in sewing, cooking, baking, crafts. These will be costly because the child will make mistakes and do not make this an issue. This is part of the learning process.
6. For the parent: do NOT be a perfectionist: this will discourage the child from trying anything new for fear of making mistakes. I have seen young females back off from learning certain skills because of this very thing: mom is too much of a perfectionist and it discourages the girls from trying to develop some new skills, especially in things in which the mother is an expert.
7. Dad, take her out and teach her some practical things: how to use a hammer, saw, change a tire - or whatever it is dads do around the place. Allow her to help.
8. Do not be over-protective of your child. Injuries will happen. Allow them to climb trees, do some dangerous things unless it is life-threatening. You a hunter? Teach her to hunt, handle a gun; take her fishing and teach her to bait a hook; reshingle your roof; you get the idea….
9. And while you do all these things, talk of the LORD while working, playing. Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19: very practical and the child will rise up and call you blessed.

Much has been written about Susanna Wesley’s rules for raising children. Here is her list:
1. Eating between meals not allowed.
2. As children they are to be in bed by 8 p.m.
3. They are required to take medicine without complaining.
4. Subdue self-will in a child, and those working together with God to save the child’s soul.
5. To teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak.
6. Require all to be still during Family Worship.
7. Give them nothing that they cry for, and only that when asked for politely.
8. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.
9. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
10. Never punish a child twice for a single offense.
11. Comment and reward good behavior.
12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.
13. Preserve property rights, even in smallest matters.
14. Strictly observe all promises.
15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.
16. Teach children to fear the rod.
(http://www.the-mothers-heart.com/SusannaWesleyRules.pdf)

One other thing: do not use psychology to get your child to obey you. Be a 'yea' and 'nay' parent. Do not ask your child to do something: tell them to do it; and you do not have to qualify that order by saying 'please?', or 'OK?' You are the boss so be one, albeit a gentle one -they are not incompatible.

These are some things that have come to my mind. They are so simple and it seems almost foolish to mention these things. But I see girls growing up who have through education developed marketable skills but have no domestic ones. To me this makes no sense at all.

This is not an all-inclusive list, just one to get you started thinking.

Blessings,
ginnyrose

Paul,

I would suggest to you the book "To Train Up A Child" by Michael Pearl. It is short but provides great advice for training your child.

Start this sooner rather than later. We started when our daughter was 15 months and I wish we had started it sooner. We are still working on obedience, but I have a feeling that will be a lifelong journey. :-)

Congrats and God Bless!

-Ben

but I have a feeling that will be a lifelong journey.

It is.

ginnyrose