We don't know each other, but I'm going to ask you to trust me in this. Many many giants of the faith, when asked, if they could take ONE book with them, besides the Bible, said they would take "Life of Brainerd" with them.
here's what John Piper wrote about David Brainerd:
It was a short life: twenty-nine years, five months and nineteen days.Only eight of those years as a believer, and only four of those as a missionary. Why has Brainerd's life made the impact that it has? One obvious reason is that Jonathan Edwards took the Diaries and published them as a Life of Brainerd in 1749. But why has this book never been out of print? Why did John Wesley say, "Let every preacher read carefully over the 'Life of Brainerd (p. 3)'"? Why was it written of Henry Martyn that "perusing the life of David Brainerd, his soul was filled with a holy emulation of that extraordinary man; and after deep consideration and fervent prayer, he was at length fixed in a resolution to imitate his example"? (see note 2) Why did William Carey regard Edwards' Life of Brainerd as a sacred text? Why did Robert Morrison and Robert McCheyne of Scotland and John Mills of America and Frederick Schwartz of Germany and David Livingston of England and Andrew Murray of South Africa and Jim Elliot of modern America look upon Brainerd with a kind of awe and draw power from him the way they and countless others did (p. 4)? Gideon Hawley, another missionary protégé of Jonathan Edwards spoke for hundreds when he wrote about his struggles as a missionary in 1753, "I need, greatly need something more than humane (=human or natural) to support me. I read my Bible and Mr. Brainerd's Life, the only books I brought with me, and from them have a little support (p. 3)."
Why has this life had such an impact? Or perhaps I should just pose a more modest and manageable question: Why does it have such an impact on me? How has it helped me to press on in the ministry and to strive for holiness and divine power and fruitfulness in my life?
The answer for me is that Brainerd's life is a vivid, powerful testimony to the truth that God can and does use weak, sick, discouraged, beat-down, lonely, struggling saints, who cry to him day and night, to accomplish amazing things for his glory
weak...sick...beatdown....discouraged...struggling.
those words could describe any of us, and you are young in faith, so am i, 7 years walking with Jesus, and my struggles go on. But probing into the private journals of this servant of Christ, let you know, you're not alone. All David does is give testimony to his own condition in the Lord, and to testify what God worked thru him in the mission field, nothing more, no doctrine, other than Love of Christ.
chose that book, trust me. I'll link you to John Piper's analysis of "Life of Brainerd".
[url=http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Biographies/1461_Oh_That_I_May_Never_Loiter_On_My_Heavenly_Journey/]Oh, That I May Never Loiter On My Heavenly Journey![/url]
God bless you is my prayer, neil