yay!!!!!

oh, the joy of the Lord!!! the joy of the Lord!!!!

look at the good things He hath done!

God showed me so much last night, i have been drowning in self-pity. wow. i confess this before you all, i listened to the devil and his subtle whispers, and my evil flesh was right along with him, yuck!!! and now the Lord has shown me this!!! what freedom is in Him! what love He has for His people! i can't understand His love, it is so rich...wow wow wow. i have so much joy this day i want to just explode. God is so kind to be truthful with us and show us our dire need for Him, our sin and treachery. oh, brethren, He is so good. what pain to see my sin, but what freedom upon confessing it to Him...He illumines the darkest night to bring forth His glory!!!

ahh, what wondrous love is this, o my soul...oh, wow, the love of the Lord is love indeed. what joy, what joy, what joy.

be blessed this day in the love of the Lord Jesus.

Hello growingholly,

Thank you for sharing this. It is reassuring to witness. I needed to see it.

white stone

ahh, what wondrous love is this, o my soul...oh, wow, the love of the Lord is love indeed. what joy, what joy, what joy.

Greetings growingholly

Thank you for sharing this with us. Father is truly kind and merciful to show us those things that hinder our walk with Him. I to am often amazed by His loving kindness to sinful creatures such as myself. He truly is worthy of all our love, worship and devotion!

God Bless you
MJ

Praise God for touching you.
There isn't anything in the World that can compare with "The Love of God."
Nellie

Holly,

Your post inspired me to start another post regarding music: [url=https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=28074&forum=36&start=10&viewmode=flat&order=1]Is this song doctrinally sound?[/url]. A mud hole of self pity is easy to sink into if you are getting near such mud holes. I don't know what kind of music diet that you feed on, but must of what is called "Christian" music today is SO VERY "me centered" and "man centered" that instead of focusing our attention on some aspect of the infinite greatness of God it focuses on man as if he is the center of God's universe and the purpose for God's existence. We were created for HIS glory!

Many years ago, I faced one of the biggest problems of my life. A child that I had taken into my home was about to be taken away from me. I only had “provisional custody” of the child. When I realized it, I was crushed. I went to my room to pray that night. When I did, I heard something flying into the window. I looked out thinking that it was 100 bugs. It was 1 huge green moth flying into my window over and over again. I knew enough about science to know that insects are SUPPOSED TO be guided by the light of the moon and stars at night, but if they get focused on other lights, they get trapped. God smote my heart at that moment: “If you keep focusing on this problem, you will waste all of your energies flying into this problem, and never fixing it. Eventually it could destroy you. If you keep your attention focused on me . . . I am SO MUCH bigger than that little problem that you are focusing on . . . it will all work out”. With His help I endured a month of the child being taken away but after that I was granted full custody.

Many modern “Christian” songs focus on man instead of focusing on God. Many of them basically deify man, and “humanify” God. They focus on us and our problems, and their mention of God and His greatness is always in relation to us and our problems. Basically, the focus is still on us and not on God. Instead of "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" (where the elders, the creatures, the angels and saints constantly shout out the marvelous atributes of His glory), it is like a picture where the focus and central figure of the picture is man, and in the blurred background, there is God (our Wonderful problem fixer). Such mud holes are quick sands that take a soul under in self pity when any little problem hits them.

GOD BLESS YOU HOLLY! Thank the Lord you were able to see your condition and turn from it. I hope that you are able to spot such mud holes from far off, and never even get muddy in one again.

thank to all of you, your love is much more than i deserve, and i'm so grateful.

i totally agree about the music, i'm very choosy and only have a few cds, mostly old hymns and Scripture songs by robert evans.

the thing that got me was my desire for a husband. this has been a pattern in me, trying in my own strength to get a husband, yikes, and this wonderful godly man was brought into my life and i began to hope for a marriage with him. when that hope was dashed, my flesh and the devil teamed up for months! given a big opportunity to tear me apart with self-pity, this team did me much harm! things would go through my mind like why didn't he want me, why can't i have a husband, why do godly men think i'm ugly, maybe if he could just see my heart, he'd see past my face, etc. see? dumb dumb dumb. oh, but where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom! as crushed as i got, i didn't stop crying out to Him, and even my crying out to Him was done in His miraculous power! and then He has come to my rescue! it was good for me to be afflicted, that i might see His glory!!!
but yes, please do pray i won't fall into another muddy trap...i am desirous to learn to sit quietly by His side and wait patiently upon Him in all things. :)
plus, imagine what sort of wife i would have been if given to impatience, self-striving, and self-pity? oh, boy, i would have ruined a marriage!! it makes me shudder just to think of it...i'm so grateful He has chosen to show me this now. no more mud, Lord, please don't let me fall into that ever again. i hope to learn from this deeply, and be wiser in the future. the devil attacks me strongly in this but i must set my face like flint and barrel towards God. oh, what kindness He gives, so freely.
oh, praise the Lord for His extreme, extreme kindness to those who love Him, which is also His kindness!! wow, what a beautiful mystery to be wrapped up in.

things would go through my mind like why didn't he want me, why can't i have a husband, why do godly men think i'm ugly, maybe if he could just see my heart

What a blessed Saviour we have - ever faithful, ever true. Oh how He loves it when we sing praises unto Him.

true and true.
it was just my heart and the devil tormenting me. the godly men that the devil wants me to believe simply think i'm "ugly" are probably seeing a lack of trust in God in me and that is what is unappealing. which is totally 100% valid. i would find that same quality unappealing in a man making a claim to godliness too. but oh, praise God, for He is growing me, and washing away the parts of me that sin, and He is replacing those with trust and grace. i only need to step back, sit down, and let Him shine through! :D

it's often so uncomfortable to talk about my personal things so openly, but i'm really hoping other people can benefit and that is why i share. plus, it's great to share praises of how the Lord has blessed.

Dear Lordoitagain,

[b]With His help I endured a month of the child being taken away but after that I was granted full custody.[/b]

Today as we did our reading, I was still turning over your post in my heart and then my ears heard:

Luke 9:42 And as he was yet a coming, the devil threw him down, and tare him. And Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, and healed the child, and delivered him again to his father. (from the Matthew Henry Commentary) And it is here added that he delivered him again to his father. Note, When our children are recovered from sickness, we must receive them as delivered to us again, receive them as life from the dead, and as when we first received them. It is comfortable to receive them from the hand of Christ, to see him delivering them to us again: "Here, take this child, and be thankful; take it, and bring it up for me, for thou hast it again from me. Take it, and do not set thy heart too much upon it." With such cautions as these, parents should receive their children from Christ's hands, and then with comfort put them again into his hands.

Your story touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing,
white stone

(edited to add comment to Holly) I did not mean to hijack your thread and I will pray for you, too. Especially that God will send you a Godly young man who can see beauty in your soul.

White Stone,

Thanks for your input! God worked it all out, and I was able to raise the child in a stable Christian atmosphere. He is 21 now and living on his own. He was so "messed up" when I got him that he would probably be in jail or possibly already dead by now for the lifestyle and atmosphere that he was in.

He is not serving God now, but I continue to pray for him. I did what God led me to do, and now, as you stated, I have to put him in God's hands, and trust God to eventually water the seeds that were planted.

THANKS!

God bless you!

Brother Michael (Lordoitagain)

Holly,

Don't give up on God's plan for your life! I hope that this doesn't sound discouraging to you, but I was 36 years old when I finally found Rebecca (my one and only). . . but it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT!

I was saved at the age of 11, and I didn't want to marry outside of God's will, so I prayed and waited. Rebecca and I both prayed for each other long before we met each other in the same way: "Lord, you know where she is (the one you have picked out for me), and what she is going through. Bless her and help her and strengthen her" . . . WOW! When God does it, He does it right!!!

God bless you!

Brother Michael

that's not discouraging at all, actually it fuels my hope in a new way! what a joy!!! thank you so much.

thank you ALL so much. really.
:-)