Battle with Mental Illness

Hey Guys,
I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, stress disorder and my doctor is pretty sure now that I have tourettes syndrome. The latter I can live with... sort of.

It is due to incorrect chemical balances in the brain.

These above rule my life (so to speak). The tourettes in this case fuels my OCD and in turn stressed me out fueling tourettes which makes it a vicious cycle.

I don't know how to deal with it. I pray constantly and my family do to. My small group have as well. God will not release me from this bondage. I walk around in fear of all this even though I know I shouldn't.

I find myself getting agitated and then Satan gets in my ear and sometimes I want to get angry at God because he won't release me. I know however that I have NO right to get angry at God because he is perfect and just.

I am struggling and it is hurting my life and my relationships with others and God.

I haven't felt like I've fully experienced Christs freedom for the last 2-3 years out of the 5 that I have been saved. Why am I a slave to this? Why doesn't God release me? I am hurting and in confusion.

Please anyone had this trouble?

God Bless
Brother in Christ
Michael

Dear Michael,

There are no words I can share on this except, I will be praying for you and yours.

I have my own struggle with manic/depressive personality, as does my husband. If one of us gets depressed it used to being both of us down. Prayer is the only help we have found for this and in recent times I see an improvement in how situations are handled.

As long as we live there will be crosses. Thank God for Jesus.

white stone

I to, grew up with tourettes.
I was teased, mocked, and shamed into stopping.
and of course you cant stop.
I learned to mask it by doing things that wouldnt be as noticeable...
This is called masking, I would make cute sounds to make it sound like I was doing it on purpose.
Then after God saved me and filled me with the holy spirit, he delivered me from it all,about a year later.
I wasnt even praying for it to happen.
But all of a sudden it just stopped, kinda like having a headache and realizing later that your headache is gone.
I'll pray for your deliverence, but until then remember God loves you, and in your suffering HE is with you through your suffering, I would recommend that you embrace your situation, Letting the Lord know that you love him whether he heals you or not, and to bring you a blessing of wisdom through this.
I honestly believe that as we go through situations, by embracing them, while continuing to pray about them we get delivered as soon as we have learned what He wanted us to learn or had been a christ like example for someone to learn from.
It's a glorious thing to be a Christ like example through our afflictions for the world to see and be amazed at our response to it, and it gives God the glory.
I hope this helps,
Me and my family will be praying for you.
God bless.

Hello Poet,

I honestly believe that as we go through situations, by embracing them, while continuing to pray about them we get delivered as soon as we have learned what He wanted us to learn or had been a christ like example for someone to learn from.

I believe this, too.

Praying for you both,
white stone

first, you are loved here.

i hope you will read "hinds' feet in high places" by hannah hurnard.

many mental ilnesses are caused by a strong desire to control. it started with eve, and has only gotten worse.

in this book, the main character has to continually call out to Jesus and stop and make altars...laying down the will, laying down the control, laying down the perceptions of the path. (i think that if a modern psychologist were to diagnose the main character, i feel they would even say the main character has ocd and stress disorder, perhaps something bipolar.) anyways, at one point, she asks to be bound to the altar because she knows she will fight the act of the sacrifice of what she has to give up for God.

oh, be blessed, and i hope and pray that God will be glorified in this.

grace and peace to you!

Dear Brother Michael,

My heart and prayers go out to you. I can hear your pain and sense your struggle as I read your words.

First of all, thank God that you are His child. This is the greatest blessing and mercy of your life. Embrace this first! He loves you with an everlasting love. Hold fast to this!

Like Paul, we are free to ask God to remove any "thorn in the flesh" that He allows, however, as in Paul's case, sometimes God does not do this. Rather, He gives His grace, and His grace is sufficient. This too, you must embrace. He has allowed this affliction for your good and His glory. Don't lean on your own understanding, but trust Him...that is, press into Him. And never forget this: that Jesus is praying for you!

I don't know why you have chosen WildHorse as your name, but it made me think of this from the Sermon on the Mount:

"Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." Matt5:5

If you are a wild horse, Jesus wants to break you--and that's what meekness is--power under control. Like a wild stallion that has been broken under the power and control of its rider/trainer. If you really see yourself as a wild horse, I pray you will have this picture and submit to the Lord in meekness--which is simply being teachable.

A few encouragements:

Stay in the Word.
Surround yourself with God's loving people.
Serve someone who has needs greater than yours.

No matter what any "voices" might speak to you, the truth is this: You have victory in Christ Jesus! Do not lose heart or hope, beloved Brother.

Thank you guys.
I do find a sense of encouragement in the replies.

(For the record, wildhorse86... Wild Horse is a part of a lyric from a song and 1986 is my birth year.)

I don't know what else to post.

I know God can heal me, what I a struggling with is why he hasn't. I am trying ot be humble and be in the word but am struggling.

Reading my bible is becoming hard...

I know there will be something at the end of this that will glorify God. But it is wearing me down mentally in so many ways.

Directed at "JESUS-is-GOD": I don't believe my doctor is a drug pusher as such as he doesn't like changing them around often, but that being said, I had these before I went on the meds so I don't think the TD is really an issue.

One of my Christian mates told me he wanted to give me a kick up the backside and tell me to get over it. This is kind of distressing in a way...

Just keep pushing through in God.

Michael

One of my Christian mates told me he wanted to give me a kick up the backside and tell me to get over it. This is kind of distressing in a way...

Michael, I am wondering - does your friend know something about you that you have not shared with us? Just wondering...perhaps you are harboring unforgiveness and letting bitterness eat away at your soul? Don't know any specifics about your situation...just throwing out some possibilities of what may be causing your distress. Too many times we want to substitute God's will with our own and then we rebel at the consequences...human nature is like this - we all suffer from it; have to take it to the cross for a crucifixion. Painful, but essential for life.

Wishing you well...
ginnyrose

Sorry about the no reply for a week.

Ginnyrose. My friend is ignorant to a lot of what I am going through, by his own admission. He can just see that my life is restricted by it and it frustrates him seeing it.

I am also dealing with some serious hurt since my Dad went and got married behind our families back while he was away for work in the UK, this isn't helping the situation.

He left December 07 and came back Christmas day 07 and didn't tell us until New Year's Ever 07 that he had remarried. My parents also hadn't told us that Dad had divorced Mum since they had divorced even though they were both living in the same house.

wonserwonton:

I obviously used the wrong tense, HAS NOT is correct as opposed to WILL NOT.

Michael

Dear Michael,

Your friend is probably too young and inexperienced in life to fully understand what you have endured emotionally. He probably wants to fix things and make everything ok in your life, and his frustration is in seeing that he can't. The best thing a friend can do is to walk alongside you and listen and pray.

The Lord will provide you with His grace as you trust Him through this difficult time. He may be teaching you to rest in Him alone. God works in His perfect time, so just keep trusting one day at a time, and be faithful to keep your quiet time with Him.

I just read a good devotion here on SI. It's called: Calvary must be the foundation! Posted by appolus under Devotional Thoughts. I think the content of this will be helpful and comforting to you.

God cares for you. He will never leave you nor forsake you, and He will keep His promises. You can trust Him.

May the Lord bless and keep you.