WISDOM FOR TODAY

OAKDALE FIRST CHURCH\t\t\t\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 02: IN GOD WE TRUST – OR DO WE?

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 3:5-6

I.\tINTRODUCTION

The motto “In God We Trust” was placed on United States coins largely because of the increased religious sentiment existing during the Civil War. Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase received many appeals from devout persons throughout the country, urging that the United States recognize the Deity on United States coins.

As a result of these letters, Secretary Chase instructed James Pollock, Director of the Mint at Philadelphia, to prepare a motto, in a letter dated November 20, 1861, in which he stated:

Dear Sir:
No nation can be strong except in the strength of God, or safe except in His defense. The trust of our people in God should be declared on our national coins. You will cause a device to be prepared without unnecessary delay with a motto expressing in the fewest and tersest words possible this national recognition.

Since 1938, all United States coins bear the inscription. A law passed by the 84th Congress and approved by the President on July 11, 1955 said that the motto should appear on all United States paper currency and coins.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (TEV) – Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the LORD in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.

Today, we will look at these verses from the book of Proverbs that teach us when and how to put our trust in God. I can safely say there are three times in life when you and I should trust in God. Doesn’t sound like enough? Let’s see.

II.\tPUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD…

A.\tWHEN THINGS HAPPEN THAT YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND (VERSE 5)

Consider Abraham’s poor example in Genesis 12.

Things may be happening in your life that you don’t understand right now.

Your own sense of understanding will not get you through life; but trusting God when you don’t understand will.

B.\tWHEN YOU ARE FACED WITH A DECISION (VERSE 6)

We all know it’s a good idea to seek God’s guidance when we’re making a major decision: changing careers, moving to a new city, or getting married. But it’s not just the big decisions we need to trust God with; we need to turn to him for guidance on any decision we make.

In all thy ways acknowledge him…

C.\tWHEN THE FUTURE SEEMS UNCERTAIN (VERSE 6)

…and He shall direct thy paths.

PASTORAL NOTE: This verse isn’t saying that he will make your life easy; it means that he will make your life focused. He will give you a direction and a purpose in life—you will know where you are going and what you are doing.

Trusting God means that you don’t have to try to make sense of all the areas of your life. He will make them make sense for you. If you’re not sure where you are going in life, if you’re uncertain about the future, this is the time to trust God.

III. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRUST GOD?

Trust and obedience go hand in hand.

READ: ISAIAH 64:6; ROMANS 3:23

Whatever it is you trust today, God says it doesn’t measure up. None of them are worth staking your eternity on.

God knew that we did not and could not measure up to His standards, so He provided a substitute to pay the price for our sin, in spite of us.

READ: ISAIAH 53:6; JOHN 14:6

Isaiah 53:6 is talking about Jesus!

When it comes to living your life, as you seek to get it together and keep it together, you can follow one of two strategies. You can either wander around in the dark, trying to figure out on your own how to get there, or you can follow the directions. You don’t have to know all the details about how things are supposed to work, you only have to follow the directions God has given. What are they?

Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

OAKDALE FIRST CHURCH\t\t\t\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 02: IN GOD WE TRUST – OR DO WE?

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 3:5-6

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 \tTrust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 \tIn all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

As we continue our series of messages geared to help live and act wisely in our daily lives, I want to talk about an obvious sign of wisdom – and yet, it is overlooked even by Christians.
-\tWhen I say the phrase, “In God we trust,” what do you think of?
-\tAs Americans, we probably immediately think of our country’s national motto that is imprinted on all United States currency and coin.

I.\tINTRODUCTION

The motto “In God We Trust” was placed on United States coins largely because of the increased religious sentiment existing during the Civil War. Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase received many appeals from devout persons throughout the country, urging that the United States recognize the Deity on United States coins.

From Treasury Department records, it appears that the first such appeal came in a letter dated November 13, 1861.
-\tIt was written to Secretary Chase by Rev. M. R. Watkinson, a preacher from Ridleyville, Pennsylvania.

As a result of these letters, Secretary Chase instructed James Pollock, Director of the Mint at Philadelphia, to prepare a motto, in a letter dated November 20, 1861, in which he stated:

Dear Sir:
No nation can be strong except in the strength of God, or safe except in His defense. The trust of our people in God should be declared on our national coins. You will cause a device to be prepared without unnecessary delay with a motto expressing in the fewest and tersest words possible this national recognition.

The Congress passed the Act of April 22, 1864 that authorized the new motto for the one-cent coin and authorized the minting of the two-cent coin.
-\t“In God We Trust” first appeared on the 1864 two-cent coin.

Since 1938, all United States coins bear the inscription. A law passed by the 84th Congress and approved by the President on July 11, 1955 said that the motto should appear on all United States paper currency and coins.

On July 30, 1956, the President approved a Joint Resolution of the 84th Congress, declaring “In God We Trust” the national motto of the United States.
-\tThe first paper currency bearing the motto entered circulation on October 1, 1957.

My question today is this: do these words really reflect our attitude as a nation in the 21st Century?
-\tWas okay to say we put our trust in God before the advent of the computer generation or the space age, but move our trust to other things after these eras began?
-\tWhat about the obvious examples we can cite of those who do not trust in God.

There are atheists who are citizens, and they deny that there is any evidence that anything ever existed that was not part of the natural world.
-\tThey say that in all the time that humans have investigated deities, absolutely no credible, reliable, reasonable, or even plausible, evidence for a god has made itself known.

There are also agnostics too, who say, “I don't know anything about God, and based upon my investigation, neither do you.”
-\tThese groups are growing in numbers, and they openly war against the slogan, “In God We Trust,” on the basis that it disenfranchises them as American citizens.

Even knowing that, though, I feel that they could not be considered the most serious threat to this country being known as the nation whose trust is in God.
-\tI think the most serious threat comes from people who claim to have put their trust in God and yet live their daily lives as though their trust was anywhere, and everywhere, else.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (TEV) – Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the LORD in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.

What a great passage! What a great promise!
-\tIf you haven’t memorized these verses yet, I urge you to memorize it today; it can have major impact on your life.

We’re in the second week of a series focused on getting our “acts” together and keeping them together.
-\tA major step in process involves today's topic: trusting God.
-\tIf you want to get your life together, or if you’ve gotten it together and you want to keep it together, there’s only one way to pull it off—you’ve got to learn to put your trust in God.

I know for a fact that, until Jesus returns, there are going to be those who – in spite of what any national motto states – will deny that there is a God to trust at all.
-\tAnd there will be those who claim to believe in God but don’t know enough about Him to trust Him.
-\tBut that cannot impact those of us who have put our trust in Him.

Even for we who state with fervency that, without a doubt, “In God We Trust,” I think that there are times when we have to ask ourselves, “Do we really?”
-\tA lot of times we tend to try and do it all on our own.
-\tMost of us seem to trust God on selected things, the things that we think seem out of our reach.
-\tBut with everyday routine things we leave God out.

The only way we can make sure that our lives work the way they’re supposed to work – to ensure that we are wise in this lifetime – is if we trust God at every level.
-\tThe things that we need to trust Him with the most are the very things we usually try to manage without His input: our jobs, our relationships, parenting, marriage, attitudes etc.
-\tWe think that we we’ve learned enough about life and studied hard enough in our fields of labor to trust in our wisdom and understanding.

Take a look at what Paul states in Philippians 3:3 –
-\tPhilippians 3:3 – For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.
•\tThere is a very practical reason that Paul points out a characteristic of every believer: we don’t put any trust or reliance in human flesh.
•\tThe reason is that the flesh will sooner or later let you down every time.

Today, we will look at these verses from the book of Proverbs that teach us when and how to put our trust in God. I can safely say there are three times in life when you and I should trust in God. Doesn’t sound like enough? Let’s see.

II.\tPUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD…

A.\tWHEN THINGS HAPPEN THAT YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND (VERSE 5)

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding…

In other words, when life takes an unexpected turn, you don’t have to understand everything that’s happening.
-\tWhen things happen that you don’t understand, that is when you need to put your trust in God.

Consider Abraham’s poor example in Genesis 12.

Abraham’s wife, Sarah, was well beyond child bearing years and Abraham couldn't imagine how God could possibly keep His promise.
-\tSo, he chose one of Sarah’s maids, Hagar, to be his surrogate wife.
•\tHagar gave birth to a son, Ishmael.
•\tGod said (in effect) “This wasn’t what I had in mind.”
•\tGod’s promise was that Sarah would give birth to a son, (when she did, they named him Isaac).

Abraham and Sarah thought they had everything figured out, but their understanding was far more limited than God’s was.
-\tHe had a plan greater than they could have imagined, but they weren't focused on God’s plan.
-\tThey didn’t put their trust in God; they put their trust their ability to work things out according to their limited understanding.
-\tDisaster followed.
-\tHagar and Sarah came to a parting of the ways, Hagar ran away with Ishmael to a foreign land and the sons of Ishmael and the sons of Isaac have been at war practically ever since.

Things may be happening in your life that you don’t understand right now.

You don’t have to understand, you only have to trust God.

Have you ever wondered how pilots fly airplanes at night?
-\tThey don't have headlights—how do they see where they are going?
-\tActually, they don’t.
-\tThey have a panel of gauges and instruments that tell them where they are and what they need to do in order to get where they want to be.
-\tThese gauges are a thousand times more reliable than the pilot’s own sense of direction.

If I’m flying from Houston to Seattle late at night, and the plane is somewhere over the Rockies, I don’t want a pilot who is depending on his own sense of direction.
-\tI don’t want someone who says something like, “I think the mountains are to my left so I will steer to the right.”
-\tI want a pilot whose eyes are glued to the instrument panel, because that panel is far more reliable.

Likewise…

Your own sense of understanding will not get you through life; but trusting God when you don’t understand will.

B.\tWHEN YOU ARE FACED WITH A DECISION (VERSE 6)

We all know it’s a good idea to seek God’s guidance when we’re making a major decision: changing careers, moving to a new city, or getting married. But it’s not just the big decisions we need to trust God with; we need to turn to him for guidance on any decision we make.

In all thy ways acknowledge him…

You have to acknowledge God in all areas of your life.
-\tThe way you manage the different areas of your life comes down to the kind of decisions you make.
•\tHow much time will you spend at the office?
•\tHow much time will you spend at home?
•\tHow much money will you spend on recreation?
•\tHow much will you put away for retirement, or give to the church?
•\tWhat kind of music will you listen to, movies will you watch, or books will you read?

The questions could go on and on.
-\tIt all comes down to decisions.
•\tIn all your decisions you need to acknowledge God, and let him play the role in that decision that he wants to play.

Making a decision in accordance with God’s will is a way of trusting God.
-\tIt’s saying, “God, this is not my natural inclination, and it’s not an easy choice, but it’s right, it’s what you want, and I will do it your way.”
•\tInclude God in the decision making process.
•\tHe will honor your obedience.

C.\tWHEN THE FUTURE SEEMS UNCERTAIN (VERSE 6)

…and He shall direct thy paths.

Sometimes the future doesn’t seem bright at all; it seems cold and dreary.
-\tThis is the time to trust in God.
•\tIf your future seems uncertain, He can handle it with certainty.
•\tHe will make your paths straight.

PASTORAL NOTE: This verse isn’t saying that he will make your life easy; it means that he will make your life focused. He will give you a direction and a purpose in life—you will know where you are going and what you are doing.

We don’t have to see ourselves in the one-dimensional terms of what we do for a living; we see ourselves in the multi-faceted terms of what God is accomplishing through us.
-\tYou’re not just a businessman; you’re a husband, a father, a counselor, a leader, an ambassador for Christ.
-\tEach one of those roles is significant – each one has a purpose – and God uses it for his glory.

Trusting God means that you don’t have to try to make sense of all the areas of your life. He will make them make sense for you. If you’re not sure where you are going in life, if you’re uncertain about the future, this is the time to trust God.

Those are the three times in life to trust God.
-\tYou say that seems like all of the time?
-\tGood! That’s the point!

III. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRUST GOD?

You’ve heard the song “Trust and Obey”:
-\t“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

Trust and obedience go hand in hand.

By obeying God, you show that you trust Him.
-\tObeying God is a way of stepping out in faith and saying, “God, I’ll take Your word for it that You know more about my life than I do.”

What do you need to hear and obey God regarding?
-\tAre you here this evening thinking that you’re doing a pretty good job of navigating this life on your own?
-\tAre you thinking that you’ve been pretty good and have earned some bonus points with God?
•\tI’m afraid that that isn’t the case.
•\tThe Bible tells us that, even on our very best days, we fall way short of God’s standard of perfection.

READ: ISAIAH 64:6; ROMANS 3:23

Isaiah 64:4 – For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Think about whatever it is you trust today: your brains, your ability to think on your feet, your good looks or your suave sophistication.
-\tGod says it doesn’t measure up.
-\tWhen the rubber meets the road, none of those things is worth staking your eternity on.
-\tAnd there is an eternity to face.

The Bible tells us that, left to our own devices and concoctions, we will spend it separated from God.
-\tBut it’s not a hopeless situation.
-\tGod knew that we did not and could not measure up to His standards.
-\tThe Bible says that He provided a substitute to pay the price for our sin, in spite of our waywardness.

READ: ISAIAH 53:6; JOHN 14:6

Isaiah 53:6 – All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:6 is talking about Jesus!

John 14:6 – Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Trust Jesus right now and you are wise.
-\tYou’ll be equipped to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.
-\tYou can begin to grow into a person who is seen and known as wise because you follow in His Word and teaching.

When it comes to living your life, as you seek to get it together and keep it together, you can follow one of two strategies. You can either wander around in the dark, trying to figure out on your own how to get there, or you can follow the directions. You don’t have to know all the details about how things are supposed to work, you only have to follow the directions God has given. What are they?

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

OAKDALE FIRST CHURCH\t\t\t\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 03: WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

BIBLE READING: PROVERBES 22:29

I.\tWHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

No matter how you answer that question, it is important for all of us from time to time to stop and examine who it is we work for. The reason is that when we have a clear picture in our mind of who we are working to impress or please, it will affect the way we do our jobs.

READ: Ephesians 6:5-8, Colossians 3:23-25

The book of Proverbs tells us that God wants us to succeed in work. It contains a promise (see Proverbs 16:3):

Proverbs also contains many warnings against laziness (see Proverbs 10:4; 12:11; 18:9).

In week one of this series, we talked about the fact that Proverbs is a book of consequences. Behavior produces corresponding results. Nowhere in life is that more true than in our work life.

READ: Proverbs 14:23

We all know people who have worked their fingers to the bone all their life and wound up dirt poor. Part of that has to do with money management (we’ll discuss in a few weeks). Another part of it has to do with the fact that it’s not enough just to break your back on the job—there is more to working hard than producing sweat. God wants to bless you in your job.

II.\tFINE TUNE YOUR MOTIVES

Why do you do the job you do? Is it because of the pay? Is that the only reason?

A.\tYOUR JOB IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE GOD.

Work is not a curse; it’s a blessing. Work is not a waste of time; it is an opportunity to serve God.

READ: Colossians 3:23

B.\tYOUR JOB IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE OTHERS.

Every job benefits other people.

READ: Galatians 5:13

Let serving others be part of your motivation for work.

C.\tYOUR JOB GIVES YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE YOURSELF

Perhaps you aren’t paid as much as you would like to get paid. Still, you get paid for what should amount to serving God and serving others, and the money you earn gives you the opportunity to do some things you enjoy doing.

III.\tMAKE A COMMITMENT TO QUALITY

There must be a commitment to quality in your work in order for God to bless you on the job. Proverbs 22:29, “Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men” (NKJV).

PASTORAL NOTE: You’re working for the Lord, you’re working for the people you serve, and you’re working for yourself. And that makes a commitment to quality worth the effort.

IV.\tBE DILIGENT

READ: Proverbs 12:24

IMPORTANT: Diligence at work determines success and advancement. To put it bluntly, the diligent rise to the top and the lazy sink to the bottom. At the bottom they may be forced to work as if they owed it.

There is something to be said for sticking with it, (see Proverbs 21:5).

V.\tCONCLUSION

The Lord wants us to be successful in the times we live in. To be successful, we have to be wise. To be wise in any area of our lives, we have to look to the Source of Wisdom.

A business axiom of our lifetime is, “Work smarter, not harder.” Working smarter involves more than long, hard hours and lots of sweat. It involves keeping your priorities in line…
o\tkeeping Christ first and foremost
o\tworking to minister to others
o\tmaking quality work a priority
o\tkeeping at it, day in, day out

If you do this, you have his guarantee that your work will be pleasing to Him, and meaningful for you.

OAKDALE FIRST CHURCH\t\t\t\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 03: WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

BIBLE READING: PROVERBES 22:29

Proverbs 22:29 – Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.

Proverbs 22:29 (The Message) – Observe people who are good at their work — skilled workers are always in demand and admired; they don't take a back seat to anyone.

Proverbs 22:29 (TEV) – Show me a man who does a good job, and I will show you a man who is better than most and worthy of the company of kings.

I.\tWHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

I have one simple question for you: “Who do you work for?”

Before you English teachers jump on me, let me say that I know that, properly stated, it should be, “For whom do you work?”
-\tBut life in the real world isn’t always grammatically correct!

I know that there is a saying on the streets that people use as means of expressing that they work for someone or some organization that has them under their thumbs: “I’m workin’ for the ‘man’.”
-\tWhen someone tells you that they are working for the ‘man’, you can rest assured that they don’t think that they are getting a fair deal.
-\tIn their minds, they work for someone who has them pinned down or backed into a corner and they can’t get out – but at the same time are powerless to change it.
-\tWhoever the ‘man’ is in their minds, you can tell that these people don’t like him, because they do as little for him as they possibly can.

But, if I ask that question here – “Who do you work for?” – would you respond that way?
-\tIf not, whose name or face pops into your mind?
•\tIs it the name of the company you work for?
•\tIs it the name or face of the person who is your immediate supervisor?
•\tIs it possibly the president of the company, or the branch manager?
•\tIf you’re self-employed, would you answer, “I work for the customer. I work for those people who fuel my business.”

Maybe you work at home – the hardest of all vocations.
-\tI know we have more than a couple of stay-at-home moms in our membership.
•\tMoms, who do you work for?
•\tHow would you answer that question?
•\tWould you say your husband?
•\tHow about the kids?
•\tWhen you do what you do when you do something, who do you do it for?

No matter how you answer that question, it is important for all of us from time to time to stop and examine who it is we work for. The reason is that when we have a clear picture in our mind of who we are working to impress or please, it will affect the way we do our jobs.

Now, you might expect me to stand up here and state that Christians should never equate their work or job performance with who it is that they work for.
-\tBut, frankly, I can’t do that.
-\tIn fact, I hope that by the end of this service, every one of us will have it so engraved in our minds Who it is that we work for that it will motivate every action we take on our jobs.
•\tFrom answering the phone to interacting with co-workers, from dealing with unreasonable customers to dealing with unhelpful suppliers, from standing in a customer’s office or warehouse to sitting at your desk filling out ridiculous paperwork or reports, or from making up the beds to making dinner for an unappreciative bunch of complainers, whatever it is a Christian does as his or her vocation in life, I firmly believe that it is of utmost priority that we identify our jobs with the Person for whom we work.
•\tThe reason, to me, is obvious.

READ: Ephesians 6:5-8, Colossians 3:23-25

Ephesians 6:5-8
5 \tServants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
6 \tNot with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
7 \tWith good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:
8 \tKnowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

Colossians 3:23-25
23 \tAnd whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 \tKnowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
25 \tBut he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

After today, I hope that we will all be keenly aware that no matter who it is we work for – in a human sense – as servants of God, we all really work for the Lord.

The fact is that you’re going to spend about 150,000 hours of your life working.
-\tThat amounts to anywhere from 40-60% of your waking hours.
-\tYou will spend more time working, commuting to work and thinking about work than anything else that you will.
-\tYou’ll spend more time at work than you do with your family, or with friends, or in leisure, or in spiritual activities.
-\tWhether you like it or not, work dominates your life.
-\tSo, really, it should come as no surprise to us that throughout the Bible, we are given tips about how to comport ourselves at work.

The book of Proverbs tells us that God wants us to succeed in work. It contains a promise (see Proverbs 16:3):

Proverbs 16:3 – Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Proverbs 16:3 (The Message) – Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place.

Proverbs 16:3 (TEV) – Ask the LORD to bless your plans, and you will be successful in carrying them out.

The Hebrew word translated “commit” in the King James Version means literally to “roll,” and it means “transfer your burden to the lord, cast upon Him all that you have to do; do all as in His sight, and as an act of duty to Him.”
-\tThe promise is that the plans and deliberations out of which the “works” sprang shall meet with a happy fulfillment, because they are undertaken according to the will of God, and directed to the end by His guidance.

The only way to have our thoughts established is to commit our works to the Lord.
-\tRoll the burden of your care from yourself upon God.
-\tLay the matter before him by prayer.
-\tMake known your works unto the Lord, not only the works of your hand, but the workings of your heart;
-\tAnd then leave it with Him, by faith and dependence upon Him, submission and resignation to Him.
-\tWe can rest easy when we resolve that whatever pleases God shall please us.

Proverbs 16:3 (Amplified) – Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.

Proverbs also contains many warnings against laziness (see Proverbs 10:4; 12:11; 18:9).

Proverbs 10:4 – He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

Proverbs 10:4 (TEV) – Being lazy will make you poor, but hard work will make you rich.

Proverbs 12:11 – He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.

Proverbs 18:9 – He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.

Proverbs 18:9 (The Message) – Slack habits and sloppy work are as bad as vandalism.

Proverbs 18:9 (TEV) – A lazy person is as bad as someone who is destructive.

In week one of this series, we talked about the fact that Proverbs is a book of consequences. Behavior produces corresponding results. Nowhere in life is that more true than in our work life.

READ: Proverbs 14:23

Proverbs 14:23 – In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.

New American Standard Version translates it: “In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty.”

We all know people who have worked their fingers to the bone all their life and wound up dirt poor. Part of that has to do with money management (we’ll discuss in a few weeks). Another part of it has to do with the fact that it’s not enough just to break your back on the job—there is more to working hard than producing sweat. God wants to bless you in your job.

We’ll look at things you can do that will give Him the opportunity to bless you.

II.\tFINE TUNE YOUR MOTIVES

Why do you do the job you do? Is it because of the pay? Is that the only reason?

Money alone is never a sufficient motivation for work.
-\tNo one expects you to work for free.
-\tBut, if the only reason you work is to get a paycheck, it will soon become obvious to everyone you work with and work for.

A boss doesn’t want an employee who is there only for the paycheck.
-\tIf you see a doctor, do you want a doctor who sees your illness as the down payment of his new Lexus, or do you want a doctor who wants to see you become healthy again?

Self-promotion is not a good reason for having a job.
-\tIf self-promotion is your motive, you will be tempted to do a lot of wrong things.
-\tYou’ll be tempted to cut corners, to take credit that isn’t due, and you’ll become cutthroat in your attitude.
-\tInstead of working in a team atmosphere, you’ll be working in a “me-against-the-world” environment.
-\tAnd no matter how far up the ladder you go, you’ll always be miserable.

Think of any major league sport.
-\tIt’s easy to spot the athlete who views the game as nothing more than a paycheck, or a platform for self-aggrandizement.
-\tRarely do these individuals achieve the status of “legend.”
-\tNow think of players such as Kurt Warner, Cal Ripken Jr. and Michael Jordan.
•\tThese men were paid handsomely and received more than their share of adulation, but no one who knows them would accuse them of being in it for the paycheck.
•\tFor them, there is a different motivation at work.

Three ways you can fine-tune your motivation for work:

A.\tYOUR JOB IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE GOD.

Work is not a curse; it’s a blessing. Work is not a waste of time; it is an opportunity to serve God.

God would not design things in such a way that you have to spend half of your waking hours in futility.
-\tWhatever you do for a living, you can perform your job as an act of service to God, and he receives it.

READ: Colossians 3:23

Colossians 3:23 – And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Colossians 3:23 (TEV) – Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for men.

We understand that we all work for human beings.
-\tIf you’re self-employed, your boss is every customer that walks in your door.
-\tBeyond that, however, when you go to your job there is something happening on a spiritual level.
-\tYou have the opportunity to do your job as an act of service to God.
-\tLet that be your motive.

B.\tYOUR JOB IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE OTHERS.

Every job benefits other people.

You have a job that enables you, either directly or indirectly, to serve others.
-\tTake pleasure in the fact that you get paid to help people.
-\tThere is something incredibly satisfying about serving others.
-\tIn serving others, we show respect for the work of Christ on our behalf.

READ: Galatians 5:13

Galatians 5:13 – For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

Galatians 5:13 – It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows.

Let serving others be part of your motivation for work.

C.\tYOUR JOB GIVES YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE YOURSELF

Perhaps you aren’t paid as much as you would like to get paid. Still, you get paid for what should amount to serving God and serving others, and the money you earn gives you the opportunity to do some things you enjoy doing.

It gives you an opportunity to support your family, own a home, own transportation, eat, travel, or enjoy a particular hobby.
-\tYou get paid for the work you do, so that should be a motivation toward working harder.
-\tYou’re not doing your boss a favor when you show up for work; you’re doing what you're getting paid to do.
-\tThe fact that you’re getting paid can contribute to your motivation, as we see in Proverbs16:26.
•\tProverbs 16:26 (The Message) – Appetite is an incentive to work; hunger makes you work all the harder.
•\tProverbs 16:26 (TEV) – A laborer’s appetite makes him work harder, because he wants to satisfy his hunger.

To be sure, “NEED” is the primary incentive for a man to work; but if one works for this reason only, his job will be a boring drudgery.
-\tApproach your job tomorrow with a new incentive – that of serving God and others, and your attitude concerning your job will change.

III.\tMAKE A COMMITMENT TO QUALITY

There must be a commitment to quality in your work in order for God to bless you on the job. Proverbs 22:29, “Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men” (NKJV).

Thomas Watson (founder of IBM) said, “If you want to be a big company tomorrow, you have to start acting like one today.”
-\tThis statement is true for individuals as well as corporations.
-\tIf you want to be a supervisor tomorrow, you have to start working like one today.
-\tIf you want a promotion tomorrow, you have to start earning it today.
-\tIf you want to be a success, you have to start working like one today.

In the same manner, I submit to you that how we operate this church today will directly affect how it operates a month, a year or ten years from now.
-\tIf organization and preparation and a desire to offer God our best are not important in our services now, they won’t suddenly get that way next year or ten years down the road.
-\tIf we are not do not operate like a large and growing revival church today, we will never have to worry about becoming one in the future, near or far.

Corporately – as a church – we aren’t a business, but we are an assembly made up of human beings, just like any business in the world.
-\tI think we can draw some parallels between our church and the business world.
•\tDo you like to do business with a place whose people don’t seem to act like what they are doing is important?
•\tDo you like to go into a restaurant where the employees don’t acknowledge you as important or where they just seem to be doing the least they can possibly do until their shift is over?
•\tWe avoid those places.

But, we come to church and do the very same thing to the Lord.
-\tWhen we should be offering up our joyful sacrifices of praise, we are thinking about something else.
-\tWhen we should be reaching out to and encouraging new faces in the group, we are instead thinking about what we are going to have for lunch.

I challenge us all to stop right now and realize that every time we gather here, it’s a big deal – something special is going on.
-\tWe’re not going to rush through the music to get to the preaching.
-\tWe’re not going to skip Sunday School or Bible Study because that’s not really church.
-\tIt is ALL important.
•\tIf it’s not important now, it won’t miraculously become important to us somewhere down the road.

An old football coach once said, “You play the game on the weekend like you practice during the week.”
-\tIf we don’t think what we are doing right now is very important to our future, we are tragically mistaken.
•\tIs it our commitment to have an impact on this community?
•\tIs it our desire to be a beacon of light that cuts through the darkness?
•\tDo we want to have the kind of ministry as a church that touches lives and reaches even to the leaders of this community?
\tWe need to be diligent in our service to the Lord;
\tWe need to excel in our work;
\tWe need to be skillful in our talents.

In this church or in our jobs, we should never approach our job with a mentality of “What’s the least I can get away with doing and still come out looking all right?”
-\tYou’ve probably heard phrases like, “That’s good enough for government work” — and those phrases and attitudes belie a lack of commitment to quality.
-\tInstead, we should adopt a principle that comes straight from God’s Word:
•\t“If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well,” even if you work in an environment that doesn’t reward quality.

PASTORAL NOTE: You’re working for the Lord, you’re working for the people you serve, and you’re working for yourself. And that makes a commitment to quality worth the effort.

IV.\tBE DILIGENT

READ: Proverbs 12:24

Proverbs 12:24 – The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.

Proverbs 12:24 (TEV) – Hard work will give you power; being lazy will make you a slave.

IMPORTANT: Diligence at work determines success and advancement. To put it bluntly, the diligent rise to the top and the lazy sink to the bottom. At the bottom they may be forced to work as if they owed it.

What is diligence?
-\tIt’s sticking with something day in, day out; doing your job consistently, the same way, day-after-day, week-after-week, year-after-year.

Cal Ripken Jr. was a good shortstop, but he was not the best ever to play the game of baseball.
-\tHe has become a legend not because he was brilliant all the time, but because he was there all the time.
-\tHe was occasionally brilliant, and always diligent.
-\tAnd that is enough to make you a success.

Little things we do at work every day testify to our employer and co-workers, such as consistently showing up on time, or dressing appropriately, or acting energetically toward your job.
-\tThe Lord knows every motive that causes us to do what we do, but humans don’t.
-\tSo they have to look for clues.
-\tConsistency, or diligence, in our attitudes and behavior is what they look for.

You may work with or know people who produce these bursts of great work sporadically and then try to get by on those few good days.
-\tThat happens a lot in the sports world.
-\tPlayers try to make names for themselves based on one or two good games and rarely produce beyond those points.

We should not be like that.
-\tFlashes of brilliance will never take the place of day-to-day consistency.

Do you want to God to bless you in your job?
-\tBe diligent. Be consistent. Pay consistent attention to detail.
•\tJesus illustrated the importance of diligence over the things that He entrusts to us in our lives with the parable of the three stewards, Matthew 15:21. (“Faithful,” as used here is equivalent to “diligent.”)

There is something to be said for sticking with it, (see Proverbs 21:5).

Proverbs 21:5 – The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.

Proverbs 21:5 (NIV) – The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

Diligence, consistency, lead to plenteousness – to bounty, to abundance – but the “fly-by-night” attitude leads to want and dissatisfaction.

V.\tCONCLUSION

The Lord wants us to be successful in the times we live in. To be successful, we have to be wise. To be wise in any area of our lives, we have to look to the Source of Wisdom.

When it comes to work, God wants to bless you in your job.
-\tIn order for Him to do that, you have to take His Word as the truth on how to be blessed.
-\tHis Word says that we should work with proper motives, with a desire for quality and with great diligence.

A business axiom of our lifetime is, “Work smarter, not harder.” Working smarter involves more than long, hard hours and lots of sweat. It involves keeping your priorities in line…
o\tkeeping Christ first and foremost
o\tworking to minister to others
o\tmaking quality work a priority
o\tkeeping at it, day in, day out

If you do this, you have his guarantee that your work will be pleasing to Him, and meaningful for you.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 04: BE MONEY WISE

BIBLE READING: MATTHEW 6:19-21

The natural human tendency is to store up material possessions here on earth. While it is biblical to prepare for one’s future, one must make sure his heart – his attitude and priorities – is in proper alignment with God’s Word and Spirit. Otherwise, when the uncertainties and the “wear and tear” of life take from us those possessions, we’ll take it personal and become bitter toward God and man.

I.\tMONEY AND THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

A.\tWE NEED TO EARN IT AND HANDLE IT PROPERLY

1.\tDon’t obtain it by dishonest or wicked means (Proverbs 10:2)
2.\tObtaining money the wrong way will bring nothing but trouble (Proverbs 15:6).
3.\tDon’t obtain by worthless pursuits; get it by working hard (Proverbs 13:11).
4.\tGet rich quick schemes won’t be blessed (Proverbs 20:21; Proverbs 28:20, 22).
5.\tHandle it in a manner that will leave some for future generations (Proverbs 13:22).
6.\tIt is better to earn less money the right way than to earn a lot the wrong way (Proverbs 16:8).

B.\tBE DILIGENT IN HANDLING MONEY

READ: Proverbs 10:4; 21:5-6; 27:23-24 (reading from TEV)

C.\tMONEY IS MEANT TO BE USED, NOT HORDED

READ: Proverbs 11:24-25; 15:27; 19:17; 28:27 (TEV)

D.\tDON’T COUNT ON MONEY FOR HAPPINESS

1.\tMoney is a trap (Proverbs 11:28).
2.\tMoney will give you a false sense of security and friendships (Proverbs 18:11; Proverbs 19:4).
3.\tMoney will make you a slave (Proverbs 22:7).
4.\tMoney can disappear as quickly as or quicker than you got it (Proverbs 23:4-5).

II.\tFOUR BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES OF MONEY MANAGEMENT (Matthew 25:14-30)

A.\tGOD OWNS IT ALL; WE ARE HIS STEWARDS (V. 14)

1.\tGod has a right to do whatever He pleases with it.
2.\tEvery spending decision is a spiritual decision.
3.\tYou can’t fake the bottom line.
4.\tWe must respect the fact that God owns it, He gives it to us to use wisely and we are to use it with Him in mind.

B.\tWE ARE IN A GROWTH PROCESS (VV. 21 & 23)

1.\tMoney is a tool.
2.\tMoney is a test (Luke 16:10-12).
3.\tMoney is a testimony (Matthew 5:13-14).

C.\tTHE AMOUNT WE HAVE IS NOT IMPORTANT

In Jesus’ parable, the lord who had commissioned the stewards said the exact same thing to the steward with two talents as he had to the steward with five talents. We don’t need to wait for the Lord to entrust a million dollars to us before we start doing the right things with money. Start right now with whatever He has given us today.

D.\tFAITH REQUIRES ACTION

What we do with God’s money says everything about what we think about Him. Really, that principle carries over into every aspect of our lives: what we REALLY believe prompts or motivates what we do in life.

III.\tCONCLUSION

Managing our money is not an option. It’s something we all have to do. You will have the most success doing it if you follow the Biblical guidelines for money management.

It comes to this: Taking control of finances involves trusting God with your finances. When God is the Lord of your pocketbook, it is easier to keep track, it is easier to plan ahead, it is easier to save, it is easier to get out of debt, and it is easier to give. It is easier, because you're not doing everything on your own. You're doing it all with his blessing and strength behind you all the way.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 04: BE MONEY WISE

BIBLE READING: MATTHEW 6:19-21

Matthew 6:19-21
19 \tLay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 \tBut lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 \tFor where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Let me begin by saying that, first, I am no authority on money management, and second, that I am no Theologian in the purest sense of the word.
-\tI do, however, believe I have a very basic and practical understanding of both.
-\tWith that in mind, let us begin by addressing what may very well be a misunderstanding, if not a misapplication, of Jesus’ statements in Matthew 6:19-21.

Considering the context of this particular passage, it is imperative that we read beyond verse 21 and take in a few more verses, understanding that verses 19-21 are connected with the rest of the chapter…

Matthew 6:22-24
22 \tThe light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23 \tBut if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
24 \tNo man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:22-24 (The Message)
22 \tYour eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light.
23 \tIf you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
24 \tYou can’t worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you’ll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can’t worship God and Money both.

When read within this context, we see that life is like the gathering of wealth, and a choice confronts us: treasure on earth or treasure in heaven.
-\tTreasure on earth is beset by risks, and it ends inevitably in total loss.
•\tWealth in Christ’s day was partly in fabrics – in rugs, garments, and hangings.
•\tVermin threatened the stored treasure, and thieves could easily break through the mud walls.
•\tIn any event, death soon would overtake the owner.
\tToday Jesus might speak of inflations, depressions, and the uncertainty of fluctuating stocks.
\tHe would remind us that “you can’t take it with you,” and declare again that the mind set on earthly treasure soon becomes overanxious or hard.

But there is another kind of wealth: it is of man’s spirit, and of an invisible kingdom.
-\tHe can store truth and love and faith.
-\tVermin and thieves cannot touch this treasure, and death is only a door to its closer possession.

Now, it must be understood that Jesus is NOT saying that a person should not put anything in savings, but rather that he should not be consumed with earthly possessions.
-\tA person’s treasures – that which consumes him; his priorities – should be of a heavenly/spiritual nature.
•\tProper priorities produce treasures in heaven!

Perhaps Henry van Dyke’s story, The Mansion, may be an accurate commentary on our text.
-\tThe rich man had his mansion on earth and only a tiny hut when he reached heaven, but the poorer doctor found to his surprise that he had a mansion in heaven: he had forwarded all the necessary materials.
•\tThe generous eye stores up heavenly love; the evil eye, turns the world dark until its only dwelling is darkness.
•\tThe issue cannot be straddled or evaded: “Ye cannot serve God and mammon” (verse 24).

The natural human tendency is to store up material possessions here on earth. While it is biblical to prepare for one’s future, one must make sure his heart – his attitude and priorities – is in proper alignment with God’s Word and Spirit. Otherwise, when the uncertainties and the “wear and tear” of life take from us those possessions, we’ll take it personal and become bitter toward God and man.

Listen: having a ton of money in your possession doesn’t mean that you are a great money manager.
-\tOne must realize that until and unless you learn why God gives you money, you’ll never have enough, no matter how much you have.
-\tAnd, conversely, when one does realize those things, no matter how little one has, one is thankful for it and wise in using it.

And being foolish with the money that God has entrusted to you can bring about a drought of blessings and add a lot of stress to your life.
-\tAccording to research, of all the promises you’ll make on your wedding day, the “for richer or poorer” part is likely to cause the most problems.
-\tThe Association of Bridal Consultants reports that 67% of newlyweds say the most serious conflict in their first year of marriage is over money.
-\tOther research shows that more than 50% of divorces are caused over money.

No matter what our income is, the world and our selfishness will tell us that we need more.
-\tRemember the NBA Player’s Association strike/lockout of a few years back?
-\tThere was a group of multimillionaires holding out for better work conditions that were ultimately locked out by the team owners.
-\tSomehow, some genius thought that it would be a great idea to plead the Player’s Association case to the public.
-\tSo they paraded a bunch of these guys out at a press conference.
-\tHere was a group of spoiled brats sitting in custom-tailored Armani suits, with Rolex watches complaining about how that if they didn’t get back to work soon, they might have to sell off some of their nine cars.
•\tIf anything seemed to register with people, it was the fact that these guys who made so much money were not equipped to manage it well.
•\tIt didn’t matter that they made more in one year than most of us will earn in a working lifetime.
•\tBecause they hadn’t been told, or had chosen to ignore sound advice, they were having problems managing their affairs because the money had temporarily dried up.
\tPerhaps we will be better prepared and something like this will not happen to us.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at…

I.\tMONEY AND THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

When we go to our guidebook for this series – the book of Proverbs – we see that it has a lot to say about money and the guiding principles for dealing with it.
-\tFrom God’s words of wisdom, we can learn that…

A.\tWE NEED TO EARN IT AND HANDLE IT PROPERLY

1.\tDon’t obtain it by dishonest or wicked means (Proverbs 10:2)

Proverbs 10:2 – Treasures of wickedness profit nothing: but righteousness delivereth from death.

Proverbs 10:2 (The Message) – Ill-gotten gain gets you nowhere;

Proverbs 10:2 (TEV) – Wealth you get by dishonesty will do you no good, but honesty can save your life.

2.\tObtaining money the wrong way will bring nothing but trouble (Proverbs 15:6).

Proverbs 15:6 – In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.

Proverbs 15:6 (The Message) – The lives of God-loyal people flourish; a misspent life is soon bankrupt.

3.\tDon’t obtain by worthless pursuits; get it by working hard (Proverbs 13:11).

Proverbs 13:11 – Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.

Proverbs 13:11 (The Message) – Easy come, easy go, but steady diligence pays off.

4.\tGet rich quick schemes won’t be blessed (Proverbs 20:21; Proverbs 28:20, 22).

Proverbs 20:21 – An inheritance may be gotten hastily at the beginning; but the end thereof shall not be blessed.

Proverbs 20:21 (TEV) – The more easily you get your wealth, the less good it will do you.

Proverbs 20:21 (The Message) – A bonanza at the beginning is no guarantee of blessing at the end.

Proverbs 28:20, 22 – A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent. 22 He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him.

Proverbs 28:20, 22 (The Message) – Committed and persistent work pays off; get-rich-quick schemes are ripoffs. 22 A miser in a hurry to get rich doesn't know that he'll end up broke.

5.\tHandle it in a manner that will leave some for future generations (Proverbs 13:22).

Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

Proverbs 13:22 (NIV) – A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.

6.\tIt is better to earn less money the right way than to earn a lot the wrong way (Proverbs 16:8).

Proverbs 16:8 – Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right.

Proverbs 16:8 (TEV) – It is better to have a little, honestly earned, than to have a large income, dishonestly gained.

Proverbs 16:8 (The Message) – Far better to be right and poor than to be wrong and rich.

B.\tBE DILIGENT IN HANDLING MONEY

READ: Proverbs 10:4; 21:5-6; 27:23-24 (reading from TEV)

Proverbs 10:4 (TEV) – Being lazy will make you poor, but hard work will make you rich.

Proverbs 21:5-6 (TEV) – Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough. The riches you get by dishonesty soon disappear, but not before they lead you into the jaws of death.

Proverbs 27:23-24 (TEV) – Look after your sheep and cattle as carefully as you can, because wealth is not permanent. Not even nations last forever.

C.\tMONEY IS MEANT TO BE USED, NOT HORDED

READ: Proverbs 11:24-25; 15:27; 19:17; 28:27 (TEV)

Proverbs 11:24-25 (TEV) – Some people spend their money freely and still grow richer. Others are cautious, and yet grow poorer. Be generous, and you will be prosperous. Help others, and you will be helped.

Proverbs 11:24-25 (The Message) – The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.

Proverbs 15:27 (TEV) – Try to make a profit dishonestly, and you get your family in trouble. Don't take bribes and you will live longer.

Proverbs 19:17 (TEV) – When you give to the poor, it is like lending to the LORD, and the LORD will pay you back.

Proverbs 28:27 (TEV) – Give to the poor and you will never be in need. If you close your eyes to the poor, many people will curse you.

D.\tDON’T COUNT ON MONEY FOR HAPPINESS

1.\tMoney is a trap (Proverbs 11:28).

Proverbs 11:28 – He that trusteth in his riches shall fall: but the righteous shall flourish as a branch.

Proverbs 11:28 (The Message) – A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

2.\tMoney will give you a false sense of security and friendships (Proverbs 18:11; Proverbs 19:4).

Proverbs 18:11 – The rich man's wealth is his strong city, and as an high wall in his own conceit.

Proverbs 18:11 (The Message) – The rich think their wealth protects them; they imagine themselves safe behind it.

Proverbs 19:4 – Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.

Proverbs 19:4 (The Message) – Wealth attracts friends as honey draws flies, but poor people are avoided like a plague.

3.\tMoney will make you a slave (Proverbs 22:7).

Proverbs 22:7 – The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.

Proverbs 22:7 (The Message) – The poor are always ruled over by the rich, so don't borrow and put yourself under their power.

4.\tMoney can disappear as quickly as or quicker than you got it (Proverbs 23:4-5).

Proverbs 23:4-5 – Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.

Proverbs 23:4-5 (The Message) – Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich; restrain yourself! Riches disappear in the blink of an eye; wealth sprouts wings and flies off into the wild blue yonder.

I believe that we can clearly assume that money is a tool given to us to be used properly and for good.
-\tIt is the means we can use to accomplish certain goals or objectives.
-\tBut, the question must be this: where do we get our goals?
-\tOr, what should motivate us in using the money we obtain?
•\tThe key for us has to be an understanding of some underlying principles found in a story that the Lord Jesus told Himself during His earthly ministry.

READ:

II.\tFOUR BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES OF MONEY MANAGEMENT (Matthew 25:14-30)

A.\tGOD OWNS IT ALL; WE ARE HIS STEWARDS (V. 14)

Matthew 25:14 – “…as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.”

1.\tGod has a right to do whatever He pleases with it.

It’s all His!
-\tIf He wants to put you or me in charge of a little of it – or a lot of it – that’s His prerogative.
-\tWe don’t need to worry about how much someone else has or how long we are going to be able to hold onto it.
-\tIf I really believe that God owns it all, then when some of it is taken from me, even though my emotions may cry out, my mind and spirit understand that it is God’s right to do so.
-\tIt also will free me up to be more generous in the usage of it.

2.\tEvery spending decision is a spiritual decision.

We like to act like the amount we give back to God through our tithes and offerings is a matter of prayer and great meditation.
-\tBut, really, if all of it is God’s, then any time we make a decision on how to spend it, we should make it a matter of prayer and meditation.
-\tWhen we buy a car, when we plan a vacation, when we buy food, when we pay off debt, we are doing it with God’s property.
-\tWe had better be wise with it.

3.\tYou can’t fake the bottom line.

Ultimately, you can’t fake good stewardship.
-\tIf you want to see where a person’s priorities are, look at that person’s checkbook.
-\tIf you want to see where one devotes his resources, see what he spends money on.
-\tIf you want to see whom a person cares about, see on whom that person spends money.
•\tWe can fake a good prayer relationship with God.
•\tWe can fake a good Bible study relationship with God.
•\tWe can fake our witness to each other.
•\tBut, we can’t fake what the way we spend or invest our money reveals.

4.\tWe must respect the fact that God owns it, He gives it to us to use wisely and we are to use it with Him in mind.

Proverbs 22:4 says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches…” and…
-\tProverbs 3:9-10 says, “Honor the Lord with thy substance and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty…”
•\tWe need to remember it is His.

B.\tWE ARE IN A GROWTH PROCESS (VV. 21 & 23)

Matthew 25:21 (and 23) – “His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.”

1.\tMoney is a tool.

We need to learn to ask, “what do You want me to learn?” and not, “why is this happening to me?” regardless of whether it is in times of abundance or in lean times.
-\tGod isn’t trying to frustrate us.
-\tHe wants our attention.
-\tMoney is a serious tool in doing that for most of us.

2.\tMoney is a test (Luke 16:10-12).

Luke 16:10-12
10 \tHe that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.
11 \tIf therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?
12 \tAnd if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?

Jesus is basically saying, “How can I commit to you the real treasures if you can’t learn how to handle these temporary ones here on earth?”
-\tPerhaps you will agree that it is possible that when Jesus told this story about the stewards, He was using it as metaphor for eternal things.
-\tHe said that it was representative of the kingdom of God.
-\tBe faithful over a few little things here, and He’ll make us ruler over many things.

3.\tMoney is a testimony (Matthew 5:13-14).

Matthew 5:13-14
13 \tYe are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
14 \tYe are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

If we are to be the salt and light in the world, then the money that God entrusts to us can be used to help us fulfill those goals.
-\tGod can use the way we use His resources as a witness to the world.
-\tOne’s attitude toward wealth tells others where one has his trust and hope.

C.\tTHE AMOUNT WE HAVE IS NOT IMPORTANT

In Jesus’ parable, the lord who had commissioned the stewards said the exact same thing to the steward with two talents as he had to the steward with five talents. We don’t need to wait for the Lord to entrust a million dollars to us before we start doing the right things with money. Start right now with whatever He has given us today.

The sin of the steward with one talent wasn’t that he only had one, it was that he didn’t use the one that his master had given him in the proper way.
-\tWe have to realize that a proper attitude toward money isn’t going to be important when we get a lot of it – it is important right now!

Could it be that sometimes the reason we don’t do that is because we’ve bought into the lie of the world that the more money you have, the better you are, the happier you are, and the more important you are?
-\tWe sometimes treat life like a game of Monopoly, or that old adage from the 1980s: “He who dies with the most toys wins.”
-\tReally, in God’s economy, the amount of money we wind up with isn’t important.
-\tThere are many things more important.
•\tProverbs 8:11 says, “…wisdom is better than rubies…” and
•\tProverbs 22:1 says, “a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver and gold.”
•\tAnd, in case that we forget that you can’t trust your money to save you Proverbs 11:4 warns us that, “riches profit not in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivereth from death.”

All the money in the world can’t buy wisdom, or a good name, or loving favor from others.
-\tAnd it certainly cannot buy righteousness.
-\tThere is only one person who can do that: Jesus Christ.

In 1 Corinthians 1:30, we are told that Christ is made to us, among other things, righteousness.
-\tRighteousness is the state of being made right with God.
-\tOnly Someone who was right with God already could offer to give us His righteousness.
-\tJesus did that when He came to earth to live a sinless, righteous life and then took upon Himself our sin and died for us so that He could be the substitute that would apply His righteousness to our ledger sheets.
•\tNo amount of money can ever do that.
•\tIn that regard, trying to accumulate a lot of it doesn’t make sense.
•\tWhy not devote your life to those more worthwhile pursuits?
•\tIn fact, as children of God, we are really obligated to do that – to use our Father’s resources in pursuit of what He deems important.

D.\tFAITH REQUIRES ACTION

What we do with God’s money says everything about what we think about Him. Really, that principle carries over into every aspect of our lives: what we REALLY believe prompts or motivates what we do in life.

This is where the unfaithful steward made his mistake.
-\tHe believed that it was better for him to take the little bit that his master gave him, dig a hole, bury it and sit on it.
-\tHe thought that that would appease his master.

What do we really believe about our money and the Master who entrusted it to us?
-\tDoes He love us?
-\tIs His will perfect?
-\tWill He provide for us if we use up all that we have?

When we get to this point – to the point where we can say, like James, “show me your faith without your actions, and I’ll show you my faith by my actions” – it is then that we are ready to go back to the book of Proverbs and look at the instructions on how to be money wise:
-\tHow to keep track of it
-\tHow to plan the usage of it
-\tHow to learn how to save and invest it
-\tHow to keep from going overboard in debt with it
-\tHow to practice giving it away

III.\tCONCLUSION

Managing our money is not an option. It’s something we all have to do. You will have the most success doing it if you follow the Biblical guidelines for money management.

That means we should keep track, plan ahead, save consistently, eliminate debt, and give habitually.
-\tBut even beyond that, it means that we have to learn and live by some biblical principles on how to treat money:
•\tRemember it belongs to God,
•\tHe gives it to us to help us grow,
•\tHow much He’s given us isn’t important and
•\tWhat we do with it tells God and others what we think of Him.

It comes to this: Taking control of finances involves trusting God with your finances. When God is the Lord of your pocketbook, it is easier to keep track, it is easier to plan ahead, it is easier to save, it is easier to get out of debt, and it is easier to give. It is easier, because you're not doing everything on your own. You're doing it all with his blessing and strength behind you all the way.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 05: CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY (AND HELP THEM CHOOSE WISELY, TOO)

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 17:17

Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17 (TEV) – Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share trouble?

Proverbs 17:17 (The Message) – Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.

It has been said that “he who has a friend is the possessor of one of the best gifts that life can bring to an individual.”

A friend loves at all times.
-\tChanges in the weather do not change the devotion of the friendly person.
-\tTimes of adversity only deepen the loyalty of a true friend.
-\tThis is because friendship is not a method of using other people but a way of appreciating them and respecting them for who and what they are.
-\tLike love, friendship is the fulfillment of the law which calls for the treatment of others as subjects of intrinsic worth rather than as objects of instrumental value.

Friendship may bring people closer together than kinship.
-\tUnless a blood relationship is founded on a deep sharing of purposes and upon more than the accident of birth, it cannot have the same meaning as a cherished friendship.
-\tWhen Jesus said in Matthew 12:50 that he who did the will of His Father in heaven was his “brother, and sister, and mother,” He was implying that there are ties that can be closer even than family ties.

In describing the “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24), the sage warns against a superficial approach to the making of friends. Some people make friends easily and lose them quickly because their friendship is not built upon a solid foundation. There is a limit to the number of close friends any one person can have, and it is therefore necessary that one chooses his friends wisely; and that he (or she) observes the disciplines upon which enduring friendships can be built.

In our text this evening, the writer gives us a synonymous parallelism in that the “friend” and the “brother” are equated.
-\tIn other words, the true friend is the same as a brotherly relation, and in times of adversity the strength of a true friendship is displayed.

Somebody once said that friends are like good health; you don’t realize what a blessing they are until you lose them.

What is a friend?
-\tFriends are people with whom you dare to be yourself.
-\tYou do not have to be on your guard.

Being a friend to someone is an awesome responsibility.
-\tTo get so close to someone that you can see his or her flaws and imperfections can sometimes be a challenge that we cannot overcome.
-\tBut if you do – and once you do – it is even a bigger task to keep the confidence of that person.
-\tIt might make you shy away from having true friends.
-\tIt might make you shy away from being a true friend.
-\tBut, we shouldn’t.

There appears to be some research in the medical field that bears out the benefits of having friends.
-\tLeonard Syme, a professor of epidemiology at the University of California at Berkeley, indicates the importance of social ties and social support systems in relationship to mortality and disease rates.
-\tHe points to Japan as being number one in the world with respect to health and then discusses the close social, cultural, and traditional ties in that country as the reason.
-\tHe believes that the more social ties, the better the health and the lower the death rate.
-\tConversely, he indicates that the more isolated the person, the poorer the health and the higher the death rate.
-\tSocial ties are good preventative medicine for physical problems and for mental-emotional-behavior problems.
(From How To Counsel From Scripture, Martin Bobgan, Moody Press, 1985, p. 18.)

But even more importantly than that, we need to understand that the Lord has put within us a desire for fellowship, for companionship, for friendship.
-\tIt is a desire that reflects the nature of God Himself.
•\tGod called Abraham His friend (Isaiah 41:8).
•\tJesus called the disciples His friends (John 15:15).

Throughout His Word, the Lord left us instructions on being a good friend and selecting good friends.
-\tIt is obviously important to Him.
-\tStill, too often we settle for less than the best.

Proverbs says a lot about friendships – about the kind of friend we should look for, and the kind of friend we should be. Proverbs teaches us there is more to friendship than being acquainted with someone, or socializing with someone. Proverbs offers an exalted view of friendship beyond surface-level interaction to a deeper level in which we share our hearts and lives with one another.

To make it through life, we need close, inner-circle friends.
-\tToday we will look at two aspects of friendship: how to choose a friend and how to be a friend.
•\tAgain, when I talk about friendship, I’m not referring to those you are acquainted with, or those you socialize with on occasion.
•\tI am referring to those you bring into the inner circle of your life, those you share your heart with, those who you know you and you know them inside out.

In practical terms, God gives us some guidelines to follow in making friendships:

READ: Proverbs 12:26

Proverbs 12:26 – The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour: but the way of the wicked seduceth them.

Proverbs 12:26 (TEV) – The righteous man is a guide to his friend, but the path of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) – A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

There is a great variety of ways this verse has been translated and interpreted.
-\tThe Hebrew verb translated “is cautious” can be taken to mean “spy out,” or “examine,” which makes a fine contrast to the “leading astray” of the “way of the wicked.”
•\tUltimately, we can conclude that the proverb, at the very least, is advising correct action in friendships.

When it comes to choosing friends, it’s like you’re hiring someone to be your right-hand man, so to speak, and you’re signing on as his or her right-hand man.
-\tThis is a person whose advice you will seek,
-\tTo whom you will turn in times of trouble,
-\tOne with whom you will share good time,
-\tHe or she is one you will learn from, and one whom you will teach.

You don’t approach the task of choosing friends lightly.
-\tYou must, as Proverbs instructs, exercise caution.
•\tDon’t go out and pick your friends like you are shopping for new clothes – “Does this make me look good?” – be careful and consider what the Bible has to say.
•\tYou are to be friendly to everyone – you are to show the love of Jesus to everyone – but be selective in who you share your heart with.

One wise person stated: “Be cautious in choosing friends, and be even more cautious in changing them.”

Choosing a friend, in many ways, is like choosing a mate. Therefore, in choosing a friend, you should try to choose a certain kind of person. And in being a friend, you should strive to be a certain kind of person.

That’s what we’ll look at now: the kind of friend you want to have, and the kind of friend you need to be.
-\tThere are three characteristics of a good friend we find in the book of Proverbs.

I.\tA FRIEND WILL BE FAITHFUL (PROVERBS 17:17)

Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17 (TEV) – Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share trouble?

Simply put, the love of a true friend is constant.

Think of the people you call your closest friends.
-\tDo they sit and ridicule you?
-\tDo they lecture you? OR…
-\tWhen you hurt, do they hurt?
-\tWhen you rejoice, do they rejoice?
•\tAnd then, the question you must ask yourself is: “Am I the kind of person someone could turn to in times of trouble, knowing that my response will be one of love?”
•\tAs one person said: “Every man should keep a cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.”

A friend will see you through after others see you are through. This same friend will joyfully sing with you when you are on the mountain top, and silently walk beside you through the valley.

Someone once said, “A good friend is like a tube of toothpaste – comes through in a tight squeeze.”
-\tA friend will strengthen you with his prayers, bless you with his love, and encourage you with his hope.

How precious it is—and how rare it is—to have someone stand by you in times of trouble.
-\tHow wonderful it is to have someone who hurts when you hurt.

Frankly, at this point it doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong, it just matters that you have friends who care.
-\tJob learned this in his adversity (Job 6:14).
•\tJob 6:14 (The Message) – When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends, at least, should stick with them.
\tThe literal translation from the Hebrew is: “To him who is despairing, loyal love should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”

PASTORAL NOTE: Whoever your friends are, they won’t be perfect. They’ll make mistakes. Sometimes they’ll make stupid mistakes. At that time, more than any other time in their life, they need a loyal friend, the kind of friend who says, “Even if you go off the deep end and run from God, I’m going to hang in there with you till you come to your senses.” Don’t get me wrong – you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) endorse sin. But, you shouldn’t immediately abandon someone either.

It has been said that, “Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, sympathy, and understanding.”

When you’re choosing friends you need to ask yourself, “Am I willing to do this for my friends?”
-\tAnd you need to ask yourself, “Does this person have the capacity for this kind of loyalty to me?”
•\tYou’ll sure run into many who won’t.
•\tThe Bible warns against those people too (Proverbs 19:4, Proverbs 19:6).
\tProverbs 19:4 (The Message) – Wealth attracts friends as honey draws flies, but poor people are avoided like a plague.
\tProverbs 19:6 (The Message) – Lots of people flock around a generous person; everyone's a friend to the philanthropist.
•\tBut we shouldn’t be like that (Proverbs 27:10).
\tProverbs 27:10 (NIV) – Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you — better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

When you get into trouble, a loyal friend can be better than a brother. If your friend gets into trouble, you don’t have to endorse everything they’ve done, or admire everything about them, but you can be there with them, so they don’t have to suffer alone. A friend hurts when you hurt.

II.\tA FRIEND WILL BE FRANK (PROVERBS 27:6)

Proverbs 27:6 – Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:6 (TEV) – A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his arm around your shoulder--watch out!

The lines of this particular proverb are in antithetical parallelism, contrasting the faithful wounds of a “friend” with the profuse kisses of an “enemy.”
-\tThe wounds of a friend “can be trusted” because they are meant to correct; but an enemy’s kisses are deceptive (consider the kiss of betrayal by Judas in Mark 14:43-45).

A friend will say to you what needs to be said, even if it hurts a little bit. With a true friend, both of you know that the words are really not intended to hurt, but to help. In short, someone who isn’t your friend will say whatever is easiest to say at the time; a true friend will be honest enough to say whatever needs to be said.

Now, I don’t want to give the impression that a friend says only negative things – that’s not the case at all.
-\tA friend offers encouragement and support.
-\tA friend says things that build your confidence.
-\tA friend can be counted on to give worthwhile, uplifting advice (Proverbs 27:9).
•\tProverbs 27:9 – Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.
•\tProverbs 27:9 (NLT) – The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

When choosing friends you need to ask yourself:
-\tIs this a person I can turn to for counsel?
-\tDoes this person have the capacity to say what needs to be said – good or bad?

And you need to ask yourself, “Am I willing to be that kind of friend?”
-\tA friend says what needs to be said, out of a desire to help, hot hurt.

III.\tA FRIEND WILL HELP YOU FLOURISH (PROVERBS 27:17)

Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) – As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 27:17 (TEV) – People learn from one another, just as iron sharpens iron.

This verse states one of the most important aspects of the educational process – the influence of one’s fellows upon his character. In short, constructive criticism between friends develops character.

A true friend is someone who wants you to grow, to mature.
-\tThe things that they do and say are going to be so that you will ultimately flourish.
-\tThis speaks to the issue of influence.
•\tYour friends will influence you.
•\tThe question is, will they influence you in a positive way or a negative way?

Be cautious in choosing friends, because your friends’ character rubs off on you (Proverbs 22:24).

Proverbs 22:24-25 – Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.

Proverbs 22:24-25 (TEV) – Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers. You might learn their habits and not be able to change.

Proverbs 22:24-25 (NLT) – Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.

Proverbs 22:24-25 (The Message) – Don’t hang out with angry people; don't keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious — don’t get infected.

The people you share your life with have the ability to influence you, so make sure you share your life with people of good character.

How many times have you heard the phrase, “He got mixed up with the wrong crowd”?
-\tIt happens far too many times.
•\tLike it or not, we tend to be chameleons.
•\tWe tend to act like the people we associate with, and sooner or later we tend to take on their values.

In 1 Corinthians 15:33, Paul warns us, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”
-\tWhoever you become close to, whomever you bring into your inner circle, will have an influence on your life.
-\tSo, seek out friends who can bring out the best in you.
•\tProverbs 27:17 — “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
\tChoose friends that make you sharp.
\tChoose friends with qualities you admire, qualities you want to see in your own life.
\tTheir character will ultimately rub off on you (Proverbs 13:20).

READ: Proverbs 13:20

Proverbs 13:20 – He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Proverbs 13:20 (The Message) – Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.

There is a Friend who perfectly embodies those qualities – Proverbs 18:24.

Proverbs 18:24 – A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

READ: Job 6:14

Job 6:14 – To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty.

The faithfulness of God is captured in that term we saw in Job 6 – pity.
-\tIn the Hebrew, this is a persistent, unconditional tenderness and mercy and affection.
•\tVine’s Dictionary of Old Testament Words calls this Hebrew word for pity – hesed – one of the most important in the vocabulary of OT theology.
•\tThere are three basic meanings of that term, which are interchangeable: strength, steadfastness and love.
•\tThat is the kind of friend God is.
\tBut it is not only loyalty that is implied, it is mercy.
\tThe word suggests a covenant relationship that is stronger than any sin or wrongdoing that might tear apart other relationships.
\tNehemiah 9:17 – “…but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness [hesed], and forsookest them not.”

In the New Testament, the Word explains how God expressed His loyal steadfast strong affection for the world (see I John 4:10 and Romans 5:8).

1 John 4:10 – “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us [steadfastly, loyally, strongly], and sent his Son to be the propitiation [the appeasement, the satisfactory payment] for our sins.

Romans 5:8 –But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

If we could stop for just a moment and realize what a friend we have in Jesus, it would probably radically change the way we treat Him and our human friends.
-\tWe can be the right kind of friend because we have seen first-hand that He was steadfastly faithful to us, even when we didn’t want or think we needed a friend.

IV.\tCONCLUSION

A.\tTHREE THINGS TO TAKE FROM THIS LESSON:

I hope this evening’s lesson will inspire you in at least three ways.

First of all, I hope that you will see that…

1.\tJesus is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother.

He cares about you – even if you don’t care anything about Him.

Secondly, if you don’t have close friends—if you don’t have an inner circle—I will hope you will begin to…

2.\tSeek out people to share your life with – people of wisdom, character, and compassion.

I hope you will be selective in choosing friends.
-\tAnd if you're involved in friendships that are dragging you down, I hope you will distance yourself from those people, at least until you are in a position of influence with them, so that you can bring them to a higher level of living as devoted followers of Christ.

Finally, I hope tonight’s lesson will inspire you to…

3.\tExamine the kind of friend you are to others.

You see, more than likely God has already put people in your life who need and deserve your friendship.
-\tBut they need you to be the best kind of friend there is.
•\tThey need you to hurt when they hurt.
•\tThey need you to say what needs to be said in a way that helps them become better.
•\tAnd they need you to bring out the best in them.

If you become that kind of person, if you’re willing to be the kind of friend who hurts when your friend hurts, says what needs to be said in a way that helps, and brings out the best in your friends, it won’t be long until you find yourself involved in friendships that will reward for the rest of your life.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 05: CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY (AND HELP THEM CHOOSE WISELY, TOO)

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 17:17

It has been said that “he who has a friend is the possessor of one of the best gifts that life can bring to an individual.”

In describing the “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24), the sage warns against a superficial approach to the making of friends. Some people make friends easily and lose them quickly because their friendship is not built upon a solid foundation. There is a limit to the number of close friends any one person can have, and it is therefore necessary that one chooses his friends wisely; and that he (or she) observes the disciplines upon which enduring friendships can be built.

Somebody once said that friends are like good health; you don’t realize what a blessing they are until you lose them.

Proverbs says a lot about friendships – about the kind of friend we should look for, and the kind of friend we should be. Proverbs teaches us there is more to friendship than being acquainted with someone, or socializing with someone. Proverbs offers an exalted view of friendship beyond surface-level interaction to a deeper level in which we share our hearts and lives with one another.

READ: Proverbs 12:26

Choosing a friend, in many ways, is like choosing a mate. Therefore, in choosing a friend, you should try to choose a certain kind of person. And in being a friend, you should strive to be a certain kind of person.

I.\tA FRIEND WILL BE FAITHFUL (PROVERBS 17:17)

A friend will see you through after others see you are through. This same friend will joyfully sing with you when you are on the mountain top, and silently walk beside you through the valley.

PASTORAL NOTE: Whoever your friends are, they won’t be perfect. They’ll make mistakes. Sometimes they’ll make stupid mistakes. At that time, more than any other time in their life, they need a loyal friend, the kind of friend who says, “Even if you go off the deep end and run from God, I’m going to hang in there with you till you come to your senses.” Don’t get me wrong – you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) endorse sin. But, you shouldn’t immediately abandon someone either.

When you get into trouble, a loyal friend can be better than a brother. If your friend gets into trouble, you don’t have to endorse everything they’ve done, or admire everything about them, but you can be there with them, so they don’t have to suffer alone. A friend hurts when you hurt.

II.\tA FRIEND WILL BE FRANK (PROVERBS 27:6)

A friend will say to you what needs to be said, even if it hurts a little bit. With a true friend, both of you know that the words are really not intended to hurt, but to help. In short, someone who isn’t your friend will say whatever is easiest to say at the time; a true friend will be honest enough to say whatever needs to be said.

III.\tA FRIEND WILL HELP YOU FLOURISH (PROVERBS 27:17)

This verse states one of the most important aspects of the educational process – the influence of one’s fellows upon his character. In short, constructive criticism between friends develops character.

Be cautious in choosing friends, because your friends’ character rubs off on you (Proverbs 22:24).

The people you share your life with have the ability to influence you, so make sure you share your life with people of good character.

READ: Proverbs 13:20

There is a Friend who perfectly embodies those qualities – Proverbs 18:24.

READ: Job 6:14

In the New Testament, the Word explains how God expressed His loyal steadfast strong affection for the world (see I John 4:10 and Romans 5:8).

IV.\tCONCLUSION

A.\tTHREE THINGS TO TAKE FROM THIS LESSON:

1.\tJesus is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother.
2.\tSeek out people to share your life with – people of wisdom, character, and compassion.
3.\tExamine the kind of friend you are to others.

If you become that kind of person, if you’re willing to be the kind of friend who hurts when your friend hurts, says what needs to be said in a way that helps, and brings out the best in your friends, it won’t be long until you find yourself involved in friendships that will reward for the rest of your life.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 06: CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 10:19

READ: Ephesians 4:14-15

As a church, we have a commission to preach to lost and hopeless people that there is hope for eternity in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But within that commission is understood the duty to proclaim that this hope cannot be found anywhere else BUT Jesus Christ. The message itself will draw some and it will repel others. Also, in the fulfilling of that commission, we never have the license to kill or wound others with our words.

READ: Proverbs 18:21; James 3:5-6

The Greek meaning of the phrase “boasteth great things” (James 3:5) indicates any kind of haughty speech that stirs up strife or provokes others.

PASTORAL NOTE: We need to get into the habit of speaking carefully. We need to watch the language we use. We need to tell the truth. No one could see what the Bible says and argue against either of those.

READ: Exodus 20:7; 1 Peter 3:10; Proverbs 4:24; Proverbs 6:16-19

NOTE: Three of the seven things that the Bible says God hates have to do with speaking lies or in a destructive way.

We need to learn – from what the Bible teaches – to think first and speak second.

I.\tCONSIDER NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL

A.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.

If what you say it does not build up others and bring glory to the name of Christ, then you’re better off keeping your mouth shut.

READ: Proverbs 17:27 (NIV)

B.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK.

READ: Proverbs 17:28

IMPORTANT: Before you speak, keep this old adage in mind: it is better to remain silent and appear a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

C.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.

The problem with repeating gossip is that there is a better than even chance that what you heard isn’t completely true. Gossip tends to get embellished as it is passed from person to person.

READ: Proverbs 16:28; Proverbs 17:9

Repeating everything you hear destroys friendships. This is why you need to think before you speak, and consider whether you should say anything at all. You don’t have to repeat everything you hear.

II.\tCONSIDER WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAVE ALL THE FACTS

READ: Proverbs 18:13.

One must learn to think first and speak second. Remember Proverbs 17:27, “He that hath knowledge spareth his words…”

Speak carefully; consider whether or not you have the facts before you open your mouth.

III.\tCONSIDER THE BEST WAY TO SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID

We don’t live in a Utopian world, and sometimes you have to say some things that aren’t pleasant to say, but your words will carry more weight if you take the effort to say them well.

READ: Proverbs 15:23.

We must look for the best way to way to say what needs to be said. Remember Proverbs 18:21…

We can build people up with our words or we can rip them apart. We can do it to their face or we can do it behind their back. When we speak to one another, as well as when we speak about one another, we should keep these words in mind.

IV.\tCONCLUSION

READ: Proverbs 13:3.

And while it is not true that God only gives us a certain number of words to speak in our lifetime, and when our words are used up our life comes to end—it is true that there is great danger in talking too much, especially when talk before we think. Look at Proverbs 10:19.

In guarding our lips this way, we guard our lives, we strengthen our relationships, and we build up others to a closer walk with Christ.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 06: CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 10:19

Proverbs 10:19 – In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

Proverbs 10:19 (The Message) – The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.

Proverbs 10:19 (TEV) – The more you talk, the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise, you will keep quiet.

Proverbs 10:19 (NIV) – When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 10:19 (New Living Translation) – Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.

I read the other day that the Ten Commandments contain 297 words, Psalm 23 has 118 words, and the Lord’s Prayer is 56 words long.
-\tYet, in a recent report, the Department of Agriculture needed 15,629 words to discuss the pricing of cabbage.
•\tI think that points out that it’s not being able to use a lot of words that makes a difference, it’s being able to use the right words.

This evening, as we continue to study what God’s Word says to us about being wise in today’s world, we are going to look at choosing and using words in a wise manner.
-\tYou can be the most knowledgeable person in the world and not know how to choose – and use – words properly and you will wind up in trouble all of the time.

Usually our troubles come because we develop an inflated opinion of ourselves and we think that we are smarter than everyone else.
-\tThe result of that is that we then usually feel the need to impart the sum of all of our wisdom to others and, if and when they cannot handle it, it is their problem.
-\tBut, rarely are we ever as smart as we really think we are.
-\tAnd, even when we do have knowledge in a given area, the Bible instructs us to choose our words wisely.

READ: Ephesians 4:14-15

In fact, when Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, he gave them some indications of the purposes of specific offices and ministries and he said in Ephesians 4:14-15…
-\tThat we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Maybe you are familiar with this passage, or at least the phrase, “…speaking the truth in love…” But note the context here:
-\tWe are definitely to speak the truth.
-\tTruth is our message.
-\tBut, just as importantly, we are to speak the truth in love.
•\tThat is our method of operation.
•\tAnd, note again that speaking truth – in a loving way – is not a sign of weakness or ignorance.
•\tIt is the sign of a “grown-up,” or mature, child of God who is not tossed back and forth with any new idea that comes along.

Remember in Matthew 10, when Jesus commissioned His disciples?
-\tLook at what He told them in Matthew 10:16.
•\tBehold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

The Lord knew that the message that these men would carry was powerful and quick and sharper than any double-edged sword.
-\tHe knew that the message that Jesus Christ was the only hope for Israel and mankind would pierce a world full of people filled with their own ideas about how to draw close to God.
-\tBut, He also knew that the way the message was handled was just as important.
-\tHis disciples had to wield a piercing and dividing message without being the slaughterers themselves.

As a church, we have a commission to preach to lost and hopeless people that there is hope for eternity in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But within that commission is understood the duty to proclaim that this hope cannot be found anywhere else BUT Jesus Christ. The message itself will draw some and it will repel others. Also, in the fulfilling of that commission, we never have the license to kill or wound others with our words.

That is speaking in a corporate sense.
-\tBut, what about how we deal with each other on a day-to-day basis?
-\tWhat about how we should talk with and to each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ?

Well, the Bible, and specifically the book of Proverbs, has much to say about how we manage our words.
-\tYour ability or inability to control your tongue will determine – more than anything else – the level of success you enjoy in your relationships.
-\tIf you can’t seem to say the right thing, and you constantly seem to say the wrong thing, you will find yourself someday all alone, alienated from everyone in your life.
-\tThe Bible has a lot to say about that…

READ: Proverbs 18:21; James 3:5-6

Proverbs 18:21 – Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Proverbs 18:21 (TEV) – What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

James 3:5-6
5 \tEven so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 \tAnd the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:5-6 (The Message)
5 \tA word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything — or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire.
6 \tA careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

The Greek meaning of the phrase “boasteth great things” (James 3:5) indicates any kind of haughty speech that stirs up strife or provokes others.

John McArthur states in his commentary on I Thessalonians 5:15:
-\tFor Christians, the severest, most painful disappointments come not from the wickedness of the unbelieving world but from other sheep within the church.
-\tSheep are definitely capable of harming other sheep, sinning against them in a variety of ways, such as attacking them with wicked words…that include gossip and slander…ostracizing them from fellowship and ministry opportunities, or harming them more overtly by helping break up a marriage…influencing someone toward sinful behavior.

We all know people who find it easy to express themselves, and have no trouble saying what is on their mind.
-\tSome of them can even do it quite eloquently.
-\tBut they have no concern for the consequences of their words as long as they have “communicated” their opinions.
-\tHowever, there is more to communicating effectively than being able to string words together.

Dwayne Woerple was standing in a reception line following his speech at a women’s organization, greeting the ladies, all of who were all saying nice things to him concerning his speech.
-\tThere was a young boy, however, who came through the line four different times, each time with a new criticism.
•\tThe first time, the young lad looked up at Mr. Woerple and said, “Your speech stunk!”
•\tThe second time through the line he said, “We heard all your jokes before – and they weren’t even very funny.”
•\tThe third time through the boy said, “You’ll never be invited back here again!”
•\tAs the boy made his fourth tour of duty through the reception line to express his distaste for Mr. Woerple’s speech, the boy’s mother came running over to him and said, “Oh, Mr. Woerple – that’s my son, Billy. Please don’t pay any attention to him. He’s only five years old. You know, he’s just at that age where he repeats everything he hears.”

The Bible teaches a different approach to conversation.
-\tIt teaches us to use our words sparingly, and to speak with caution.

PASTORAL NOTE: We need to get into the habit of speaking carefully. We need to watch the language we use. We need to tell the truth. No one could see what the Bible says and argue against either of those.

READ: Exodus 20:7; 1 Peter 3:10; Proverbs 4:24; Proverbs 6:16-19

Exodus 20:7 – Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

I Peter 3:10 – For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Proverbs 4:24 – Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.

Proverbs 4:24 (The Message) – Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.

Proverbs 6:16-19
16 \tThese six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 \tA proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 \tAn heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 \tA false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Proverbs 6:16-19 (Amplified)
16 \tThese six things the Lord hates, indeed, seven are an abomination to Him:
17 \tA proud look [the spirit that makes one overestimate himself and underestimate others], a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 \tA heart that manufactures wicked thoughts and plans, feet that are swift in running to evil,
19 \tA false witness who breathes out lies [even under oath], and he who sows discord among his brethren.

NOTE: Three of the seven things that the Bible says God hates have to do with speaking lies or in a destructive way.

Vulgar language and evil speaking should not be habits that we indulge ourselves in.
-\tBut for us to stop at, “Don’t cuss, don’t gossip and don’t lie,” would be stopping way short of God’s instruction on how to be wise with our words.

There are going to be plenty of times when you have to determine when and if to say something that has nothing to do with lying, gossiping or cussing.
-\tWe need to know what guiding principles for managing our tongues the Bible gives us, even when we must speak.

We need to learn – from what the Bible teaches – to think first and speak second.

I.\tCONSIDER NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL

I’m going to tell you something that took me a long time to learn – and I am still working on it!
-\tHere it is…

A.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.

How much better off would we be today if we could have only learned this truth so much earlier in life.
-\tThere are going to be times in life when you have knowledge of things that you will have to be discreet in dispensing to others.
-\tYour words may have the power to tear down a newborn babe in Christ, or to damage a father’s credibility with his children, or to taint someone’s opinion of a brother or sister in Christ.
-\tYou have to determine whether or not the time is right – or even if it is necessary – to say something about it.
•\tAnd remember, just because you’ve heard something about someone, doesn’t necessarily mean it is true.
•\tAnd even if it is true, that doesn’t mean you have to say it.

If what you say it does not build up others and bring glory to the name of Christ, then you’re better off keeping your mouth shut.

READ: Proverbs 17:27 (NIV)

Proverbs 17:27 – A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

James 1:19 admonishes us to “…be swift to hear, (and) slow to speak…”
-\tWe have two ears and one mouth, which ought to remind us to listen more than we speak.

Before you speak, consider saying nothing at all, because you don't have to say everything you know.

B.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK.

Have you ever known people who were the type that functioned in such a way that anytime they had a thought pass through their minds, it spilled out of their mouths?

Some people believe they know a little bit more about every subject than anyone else, and they believe it is their duty to wax eloquent whenever the chance presents itself.
-\tWhatever subject comes up in conversation, whether it’s the stock market, computers, football, politics, or religion, they believe they have the first and final word on the matter.
-\tAnd, of course, they share it with you.

We can fall into this habit unintentionally, but we need to watch out for it.
-\tOne wife said to her rather “knowledgeable” husband:
•\t“I would love to bring up a topic in conversation without having to listen to you psychoanalyze it and pontificate about it for half an hour.”

We should think about what Solomon said in Proverbs 17:28…

READ: Proverbs 17:28

Proverbs 17:28 (NIV) – Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

IMPORTANT: Before you speak, keep this old adage in mind: it is better to remain silent and appear a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

C.\tYOU DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.

The problem with repeating gossip is that there is a better than even chance that what you heard isn’t completely true. Gossip tends to get embellished as it is passed from person to person.

The subject of gossip is one that we do not take seriously enough.
-\tWe say things like, “I’m going to go visit ‘so and so’ and catch up on the latest gossip.”
-\tWe say it like there’s nothing wrong with doing that.
-\tTo a certain extent, “catching up on gossip” is just a figure of speech, but it’s all too often all too accurate of the way we make conversation.

We need to begin to take gossip seriously.
-\tDo you know what Proverbs says about gossips?

READ: Proverbs 16:28.

Proverbs 16:28 – A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

That’s something new to think about.
-\tThat word, “froward,” means “evil, perverted.”

Proverbs 16:28 (NIV) – A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Did it ever occur to you that when you talk bad about someone, God considers your actions perverted?
-\tIt may seem hard to believe, but that is what the Bible says.
-\tGod would much rather you keep quiet.

Proverbs 16:28 (TEV) – Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships.

Proverbs 16:28 (The Message) – Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.

READ: Proverbs 17:9

Proverbs 17:9 – He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Proverbs 17:9 (TEV) – If you want people to like you, forgive them when they wrong you. Remembering wrongs can break up a friendship.

Repeating everything you hear destroys friendships. This is why you need to think before you speak, and consider whether you should say anything at all. You don’t have to repeat everything you hear.

The first step to managing your mouth is to consider not saying anything at all.
-\tThe second step is...

II.\tCONSIDER WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAVE ALL THE FACTS

Do you remember Richard Jewell?
-\tHe was the security officer who was first on the scene when the bomb exploded at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.
-\tHe acted conscientiously and courageously, and he was, indeed, quite a hero.
-\tThen, as is typical in such events, the FBI developed suspicions about Jewell, and began to consider him a suspect in the bombing.
-\tThe FBI was simply doing their job; they need to suspect everyone; but the media went wild with the story.
•\tThe Atlanta Journal-Constitution printed a story packed with innuendo and misleading comments.
•\tThe New York Post called him a “fat, former failed sheriff’s deputy” in a story that crossed the line between reporting him as a possible suspect and declaring him guilty.
•\tEven Tom Brokaw compromised his credibility by saying, “They probably have enough to arrest him right now, probably enough to prosecute him. But you always want enough to convict him.”

Well, you know how the story turned out.
-\tRichard Jewell didn’t plant the bomb.
-\tHe really was a hero.
-\tHe put his life in danger to save other people, and he was ripped to shreds by the press.
-\tBut this time (for once) the media was held accountable.
-\tA number of news organizations, including NBC, settled with Jewell for an undisclosed amount, rather than go through the humiliation of a public trial.

This event taught us a couple of things.
-\tNumber one, just because Tom Brokaw says something doesn’t mean it’s true.
•\tYou need to remember when you watch the news that there is a very real possibility you are getting only a fraction of the story – or a biased viewpoint.
-\tAnother thing it taught is this: You can do a lot of damage by speaking before you get the facts, and some of the damage will come back your way.
•\tYou may never find yourself in the kind of jam NBC was in after reporting lies about Richard Jewell, but you can be sure that if you open your mouth before you get the facts, you are courting disaster for yourself and everyone else involved.

READ: Proverbs 18:13.

Proverbs 18:13 – He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

Proverbs 18:13 (TEV) – Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting.

Proverbs 18:13 (The Message) – Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.

One must learn to think first and speak second. Remember Proverbs 17:27, “He that hath knowledge spareth his words…”

Speak carefully; consider whether or not you have the facts before you open your mouth.

III.\tCONSIDER THE BEST WAY TO SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID

We don’t live in a Utopian world, and sometimes you have to say some things that aren’t pleasant to say, but your words will carry more weight if you take the effort to say them well.

READ: Proverbs 15:23.

Proverbs 15:23 – A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

Proverbs 15:23 (TEV) – What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!

It takes effort—and a lot of thought—to make sure you say the right thing the right way.

A state trooper pulled an older man and his wife over for speeding on a deserted road.
-\tSince the road was clear and the weather was fine, the trooper told them he would let them off with a warning.
-\tHe even complimented the man and his wife for wearing their seat belts.
-\tAt that point, the woman leaned over and said, “Well, officer, when you drive at the speeds he does, you have to wear your seat belt.”
-\tThe trooper decided to write the ticket after all.

That’s an example of not thinking first.
-\tThat’s an example of not considering the best way to say something.
-\tThe opposite would be found in Proverbs 15:1…
•\tProverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

James 3:2 – For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
-\tThe NIV translates that verse as follows: If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man.
•\tPerfect here means mature or complete.

Many people may think that it is impossible to control the tongue, but most people haven’t even begun to try.
-\tThe ability to control the tongue is the mark of true maturity for the Christian.
-\tWhen Jesus confronted the religious leaders about their accusations against Him, He said that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks – showing that what is inside of a person affects what they do with their speech (Matthew 12:33-37).
-\tHe also said that we must give account for every careless word we utter (Matthew 12:36).

If there is a need to confront one’s spouse, or child, or a friend, or an employee about a problem in one’s relationship, one would need to take the time to find the right way to go about saying it.
-\tYou need to ask yourself, “How can I say this in such a way that it will build them up, and encourage them to do what is best for them to do?”

It is entirely possible to say something in such a way that one can cause others to do the exact opposite of whatever is desired.
-\tIf an individual has a habit of doing this, it would be best if that individual learned how to communicate in a kinder, gentler manner.

We must look for the best way to way to say what needs to be said. Remember Proverbs 18:21…

Proverbs 18:21 – Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

We can build people up with our words or we can rip them apart. We can do it to their face or we can do it behind their back. When we speak to one another, as well as when we speak about one another, we should keep these words in mind.

IV.\tCONCLUSION

As you know, this message is just one part of a nine-part series.
-\tThe Bible says so much about speaking carefully that we could easily do a nine-part series on this subject alone.
-\tWords have tremendous power, and we need to make sure we use them carefully.

READ: Proverbs 13:3.

Proverbs 13:3 – He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

Proverbs 13:3 (The Message) – Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything.

And while it is not true that God only gives us a certain number of words to speak in our lifetime, and when our words are used up our life comes to end—it is true that there is great danger in talking too much, especially when talk before we think. Look at Proverbs 10:19.

Proverbs 10:19 – The more you talk, the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise, you will keep quiet.

You don’t have to take a vow of silence, but all of us would benefit from making a commitment to think first and speak second.
-\tAnd while we’re thinking, we can consider whether or not we should say anything at all;
-\tWe can consider whether or not we have all the facts, and we can consider the best way to say what needs to be said.

In guarding our lips this way, we guard our lives, we strengthen our relationships, and we build up others to a closer walk with Christ.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 07: TAKE SOME GOOD ADVICE

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 12:15; 19:20

If you are in the process of trying to apply some real wisdom in your life, you will need to fine-tune the art of taking advice. Everyone needs advice, and the book of Proverbs tells us it is absolutely essential to take advice in order to succeed in life:

I.\tBE SELECTIVE

Remember that the goal is to take good advice, not just advice.

Remember, too, that the purpose for taking advice is to grow or to make intelligent choices and decisions.

READ: Proverbs 14:7

When you need advice, seek out people you admire and respect, who have earned some respect and have the credibility to give advice.

READ: Proverbs 13:20

A.\tLOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO’S “BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.”

Find someone who faced the same kind of challenge you’re facing now—and faced it successfully. And then ask them how they did it.

B.\tFIND SOMEONE WHO HAS YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART

REMEMBER: When you ask for advice from someone, you are putting yourself in somewhat of a vulnerable position. You need to be sure this person has your best interests at heart, that he or she isn't advising you with a self-serving, hidden agenda.

READ: Hebrews 4:14-16; I Peter 5:7

II.\tBE RECEPTIVE

One of the main reasons we hesitate to ask for advice is that we are afraid of hearing what we don’t want to hear.

READ: Ecclesiastes 4:13

READ: Proverbs 12:15

When any of us seeks advice, we have to be completely open to the advice we’re about to receive. We have to be willing to hear what we don’t want to hear, remembering that the purpose of it is to help us grow or to do the right thing.

Now, if and when the advice you get is straight from God’s Word, if you fail to be receptive to good advice, don’t think that there aren’t going to be negative consequences.

READ: Hebrews 3:7-13

PASTORAL NOTE: There is no peace for someone who ignores the perfect instruction that the Bible gives. We can equivocate and rationalize any number of reasons for ignoring what God says, but if He has advised us – in His Word – to do something, it’s a dangerous thing to disregard it. When it comes to getting advice, you have to be selective. But, when find a good source of advice, you then must be receptive.

III.\tBE OBJECTIVE

IMPORTANT: Even if you follow someone’s advice, it doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for your actions. It’s your decision. You’re the one that has to live with the consequences. So you better make sure you have an objective view of your situation. How do you do that? (See Proverbs 15:22).

PASTORAL WARNING: When the issue is sensitive or involves the confidence of other people, be careful how many people you choose to discuss it with. Be careful to select people who can actually be objective about the situation. Be careful not to just discuss issues for gossip’s sake.

READ: Proverbs 13:16

IV.\tCONCLUSION

As you can see, asking for advice is just about the greatest compliment that you could offer someone. So, make sure the person is deserving of the compliment.

Do this, and your life will reflect the reality of God’s promise in Proverbs 19:20 – “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.”

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 07: TAKE SOME GOOD ADVICE

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 12:15; 19:20

Of this one can be sure: there is a ton of advice coming from all walks of life and for every conceivable situation, and plenty of people more than willing to offer it to you.
-\tThe problem is this: most advice that comes to you without request is worth what you paid for it.
-\tAnd taking the wrong advice can get you in trouble.

If you are in the process of trying to apply some real wisdom in your life, you will need to fine-tune the art of taking advice. Everyone needs advice, and the book of Proverbs tells us it is absolutely essential to take advice in order to succeed in life:

Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

Proverbs 12:15 (The Message) – Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice.

Proverbs 19:20 – Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

Proverbs 19:20 (TEV) – If you listen to advice and are willing to learn, one day you will be wise.

So really, while it is a matter of seeking and getting good advice, it is more of a matter of learning how to take it.
-\tThis evening, we will look at three biblical principles that will help us develop the skill of getting and taking good advice, plus show us where to get advice and how to use it.

I.\tBE SELECTIVE

First of all, when you seek advice, you have to be selective.
-\tYou have to choose where you’ll go to get advice.
-\tYou can’t take advice from just anyone, though sometimes it may seem that anyone and everyone are trying to give it to you.

Remember that the goal is to take good advice, not just advice.

We should be leery of advice that is given to us without our requesting it.
-\tPeople who are wise rarely attempt to advise you until you ask for it, because they know you have to be ready to hear advice before it will do you any good.

Remember, too, that the purpose for taking advice is to grow or to make intelligent choices and decisions.

Before you seek advice from anyone regarding a problem you’re having or a decision you’re facing, be careful to choose the right person to give you counsel.

READ: Proverbs 14:7

Proverbs 14:7 indicates that there are definitely people to stay away from:

Proverbs 14:7 – Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.

Proverbs 14:7 (TEV) – Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you.

Let me say it this way: “If you are looking for advice, stay away from fools.”
-\tIn other words, stay away from people who want to tell you how to run an area of your life that they’re unable to manage themselves.
•\tA wise person wouldn’t buy a book written by Elizabeth Taylor or Mickey Rooney on how to make a marriage last.
•\tA wise person wouldn’t take financial advice from Mike Tyson.
•\tIf you had ever seen me swing a golf club, you’d know not to buy my instructional video.

When you need advice, seek out people you admire and respect, who have earned some respect and have the credibility to give advice.

READ: Proverbs 13:20

Proverbs 13:20 – He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Proverbs 13:20 (The Message) – Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.

It is important to remember that going to the same people for advice on every issue that you need advising on could very well prove to be a bad, or unwise, choice.
-\tSomeone may be the perfect advisor on a problem within your marriage, but the very worst person you could go to for financial advice.

One way to know that someone may not be a good source of advice is to note whether or not they want to advise you on every aspect of your life.
-\tIf one person is that smart about everything, how come the rest of us haven’t noticed it yet?
-\tEven some of the wisest men in the ministry that I have known have said to people, “Perhaps I should direct you to someone else to help you with this,” in certain areas of life.
-\tKeep in mind that – even though pastors have all of God’s wisdom that we need in His Word – only One Person has ever had a perfect track record.

Still, the Lord uses the events and circumstances of our lives to help us to minister to others.
-\tAnd, you can usually find a godly person who has faced a situation like you have faced – whatever that is – who is willing to advise you if you seek them out.
-\tIn fact, before you go to someone for advice, that is one of the two things to really think about:

A.\tLOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO’S “BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.”

If you’re poor and want to become rich, seek out the advice of someone who was poor and became rich.

Find someone who faced the same kind of challenge you’re facing now—and faced it successfully. And then ask them how they did it.

If you talk to someone who has successfully overcome the problem you’re facing now—whether it’s…
-\tFinancial difficulties,
-\tMarital problems,
-\tA besetting sin,
-\tA business setback,
-\tSome kind of addiction,
-\tOr whatever it may be…
•\tThey will be able to give you advice on how to deal with your situation.
\tLook for someone who has experience.
\tLook for someone who’s been there.

B.\tFIND SOMEONE WHO HAS YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART

REMEMBER: When you ask for advice from someone, you are putting yourself in somewhat of a vulnerable position. You need to be sure this person has your best interests at heart, that he or she isn't advising you with a self-serving, hidden agenda.

Don't take advice from the wrong person.
-\tBe selective.

Consider a couple of passages in the New Testament with me:

READ: Hebrews 4:14-16; I Peter 5:7

Hebrews 4:14-16
14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16 (The Message)
15 We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all — all but the sin.
16 So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.

I Peter 5:7 – Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I Peter 5:7 (Amplified) – Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

These passages show us that we have a Savior who has “been there and done that.”
-\tHe is not a faraway God that is out of touch with His creation.
-\tThat is part of the beauty of God’s redemption plan.
•\tHe came to earth in the form of a man and experienced the same feelings and temptations we do.
•\tAnd even though He did something we could never do – met and faced them without sinning – He still understands us and the struggles that we face.
•\tThere is someone who is qualified to give us some advice!
•\tHe advises us through His Holy Word, the Bible.
\tAre we willing to take some of His advice?
\tAND…are we willing to measure all of the other advice we get with His in His Word?

II.\tBE RECEPTIVE

One of the main reasons we hesitate to ask for advice is that we are afraid of hearing what we don’t want to hear.

READ: Ecclesiastes 4:13

In the book of Ecclesiastes, God used Solomon to say, in Ecclesiastes 4:13, “Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished.”

Some of the biggest mistakes people make in life are the ones made unadvisedly.
-\tThe greatest challenges people face right now can be traced either to a stubborn refusal to seek good advice or a willing ignorance of it.
-\tIt is the “what you don’t know won’t hurt you,” syndrome.

READ: Proverbs 12:15

Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

Proverbs 12:15 (The Message) – Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice.

Proverbs 12:15 (TEV) – Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice.

Just because someone makes a foolish decision once doesn’t mean he or she has to keep making foolish decisions.
-\tBut that person will continue to flounder until they open their heart to the advice of godly people.
-\tTake it from someone who's been there and done that.
-\tBe receptive to advice, and be willing to hear what you don’t want to hear.

This is why businesses need a Board of Directors.
-\tFar too many small businesses have had to fold, perhaps even filing bankruptcy, because the owner or owners refused to establish a board of directors with business acumen.

When any of us seeks advice, we have to be completely open to the advice we’re about to receive. We have to be willing to hear what we don’t want to hear, remembering that the purpose of it is to help us grow or to do the right thing.

Now, if and when the advice you get is straight from God’s Word, if you fail to be receptive to good advice, don’t think that there aren’t going to be negative consequences.

READ: Hebrews 3:7-13

Hebrews 3:7-13
7 \tWherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice,
8 \tHarden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness:
9 \tWhen your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years.
10 \tWherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways.
11 \tSo I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.)
12 \tTake heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.
13 \tBut exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

He is telling us that:
-\tToday you must listen to the instruction and advice of the Lord.
-\tDon’t harden your hearts against Him like Israel did when they rebelled in the wilderness.
-\tBecause of that, God said, “Their hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.”
-\tSo he made a vow: “They will never enter my place of rest.”

So be careful.
-\tMake sure that your own hearts are not turning you away from the advice that the living God gives you in His Word.
-\tYou must advise and take advice every day, as long as it is called “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.

PASTORAL NOTE: There is no peace for someone who ignores the perfect instruction that the Bible gives. We can equivocate and rationalize any number of reasons for ignoring what God says, but if He has advised us – in His Word – to do something, it’s a dangerous thing to disregard it. When it comes to getting advice, you have to be selective. But, when find a good source of advice, you then must be receptive.

III.\tBE OBJECTIVE

You’ve got to understand that only One Person that ever walked the earth had all the answers.
-\tThere’s not one human being you can go to for advice on everything, all the time.
•\tBesides, taking advice isn’t about letting other people make your decisions for you.
•\tTaking advice is the process of getting an objective view of your problem so that you can make the right decision.
•\tThe decision you make belongs to you.

IMPORTANT: Even if you follow someone’s advice, it doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for your actions. It’s your decision. You’re the one that has to live with the consequences. So you better make sure you have an objective view of your situation. How do you do that? (See Proverbs 15:22).

Proverbs 15:22 – Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Proverbs 15:22 (The Message) – Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed.

Proverbs 15:22 (NIV) – Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

A paraphrase of that verse says, “Plans go awry for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.”

You don’t go to one person for advice; you go to three, or five, or seven qualified, godly people, and get their input.
-\tGet as much input as the reasonably possible.

The beauty of seeking multiple counselors who are believers is that the same Holy Spirit of God lives in each one of them.
-\tIf they are in tune with Him, seeking and listening to His advice for their own lives, they are not going to mislead you.
-\tThey may have different perspectives because of a different set of circumstances that shape each of them and their responses…
-\tBut, you will likely see a consistent theme from all of them.
-\tAnd, if one or two is glaringly different, you can compare them to God’s Word.

I want to throw in a warning here…

PASTORAL WARNING: When the issue is sensitive or involves the confidence of other people, be careful how many people you choose to discuss it with. Be careful to select people who can actually be objective about the situation. Be careful not to just discuss issues for gossip’s sake.

Now, when you seek these sources of advice, if everyone says the same thing, your decision is easy.
-\tHowever, chances are, you’ll hear a variety of opinions.
-\tThat’s not necessarily a bad thing, because it gives you the opportunity to examine the situation from all sides.

READ: Proverbs 13:16

Proverbs 13:16 – Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool layeth open his folly.

Proverbs 13:16 (TEV) – Sensible people always think before they act, but stupid people advertise their ignorance.

The more information you can get, the more input you can get, the more research you can do, and the better your decision will be.
-\tBut remember it’s your decision.
-\tYou have to live it with it.
-\tYou have to face the consequences and/or reap the rewards.
-\tSo make sure you get an objective view of the problem.
•\tYou do this by seeking advice from many, not just one.

IV.\tCONCLUSION

As you can see, asking for advice is just about the greatest compliment that you could offer someone. So, make sure the person is deserving of the compliment.

You would be wise to seek advice before trying to tackle any major problem or decision on your own.
-\tAnd when you seek advice, you need to ask yourself the following questions:
•\tHas this person “been there and done that”?
•\tDoes this person have my best interests at heart?
•\tWill this person tell me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear?
•\tCan this person be one of a group of trusted friends to help me develop an objective view of my life?

Do this, and your life will reflect the reality of God’s promise in Proverbs 19:20 – “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.”

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 08: BE A PEACEMAKER, BE A PEACEKEEPER

BIBLE READING: JAMES 3:17; MATTHEW 5:9

James 3:17 – But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

James 3:17 (Amplified) – But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).

James 3:17a (The Message) – Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.

Matthew 5:9 – Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

I.\tINTRODUCTION

A.\tBEING A PEACEMAKER/PEACEKEEPER IS IMPORTANT

The Word of God puts a premium on living peaceably, on being a person who makes peace and then keeps the peace. But, it is something that is contradictory to our human natures.

There was a Nancy comic strip that illustrates just how contradictory to our human natures being a peacemaker and/or a peacekeeper can be.
-\tThe strip has Sluggo say: “That new kid on our block is a big FAT HEAD.”
-\tNancy remonstrates: “You shouldn’t call people names like that.”
-\tShe adds, “I never call people nasty names.”
-\tSluggo explains: “Well, I got mad when he said you were silly looking.”
-\tNancy angrily demands: “What else did that big FAT HEAD have to say?”

Getting along with people is a hard thing to do.
-\tIt’s a fact of life: if you live or work or associate in any way with people, you will experience conflict.
-\tThe only way to escape it completely is to live in the desert or on the top of a mountain all alone.
-\tSometimes that sounds pretty good but really, for most of us, it is not what we want and it’s not a realistic option anyway.
-\tSo, we’re much better off if we listen to God’s Word and learn to handle the conflict that comes up from day to day.

When people live together and/or work together, some level of conflict is inevitable, even among the best of friends, because friction is a sign of life in relationships.
-\tProverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Friction within a relationship isn’t necessarily bad.
-\tHowever, conflict doesn’t have to escalate into Word War III every time two people disagree.
-\tThere is a way to resolve our differences peacefully, in a way that strengthens relationships rather than destroying them.
-\tThis evening we will look at what the Bible says about the ways to handle inter-personal conflict in our lives.

B.\tWHY IS BEING A PEACEMAKER/PEACEKEEPER IS IMPORTANT?

Some people find it easy to dismiss their conduct with the excuse, “That’s just the way I am.”
-\tAs children of God, however, we do not have the luxury of excusing our actions.
-\tWe are not our own.
-\tWe are bought with a price; therefore, we owe it to the One who purchased us to represent Him appropriately.
•\tI Corinthians 6:20 – For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
•\tI Corinthians 7:23 – Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

Both of these scriptures teach us that we do not belong to ourselves.
-\tWe belong to him, so everything about us should bring honor and glory to him.
-\tI should not be the slave of any man – even if that man is me.

Why, though, would the Lord expect so much out of such imperfect people?
-\tWhat difference does it make in the long run, in the “big picture”?

I think the Bible is clear on the reasons that we must “live peaceably with all men,” as Romans 12:18 exhorts us, if it is possible and to the extent that we can control it.

1.\tYou can make your personal life better – maybe even longer.

Proverbs 3:1-2 teaches us that if we will learn, remember, and obey the commands of the Lord, we can have a long, fulfilling, and peaceful life.
-\tThat isn’t limited to the Ten Commandments.
-\tThat includes living by His whole Word.

Think of all of the instruction and commands from the Bible.
-\tThere are admonitions on how to act, what to do, when to speak, where to go, what to avoid, even how to refrain from conflicts with others.
-\tThere is more than the spiritual value of doing what God says, there is also the value of making our lives more joyful and peaceful.
-\tArguments always cause your blood pressure to fluctuate.
•\tYour stress levels go up.
•\tYour quality of life and your longevity go down.

2.\tYou can be a builder or you can be a destroyer.

READ: Romans 14:13-19

Romans 14:13-19
13 \tLet us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
14 \tI know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
15 \tBut if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.
16 \tLet not then your good be evil spoken of:
17 \tFor the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
18 \tFor he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.
19 \tLet us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

Romans 14:13-19 (The Message)
13 \tForget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.
14 \tI'm convinced — Jesus convinced me! — that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15 \tIf you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet?
16 \tDon't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17 \tGod's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
18 \tYour task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19 \tSo let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words;

The way we live – including the actions we take, the things we do – can edify our brothers and sisters in Christ or it can destroy them.
-\tWe can build them up or we can tear them down.
-\tWe have, in this passage, a specific admonition to make sure that, when we do something, our actions build up those around us.
-\tWhen we follow after the things that make for peace, we help our brothers and sisters to grow.

To do this, we would probably wise NOT to take the advice of one pastor I read about.
-\tThis pastor took for his text the passage wherein we are admonished to turn the other cheek.
-\tAfter reading the text and closing his Bible, he began his interpretation of the text.
•\tNow, brethren and sisters, the Good Book tells us that if an enemy smacks you on one cheek, you turn the other cheek and let him smack you on that.
•\tBut, brethren and sisters, the third lick, the third lick, I say, belongs to you!”

3.\tYou can point people to the Lord.

READ: Hebrews 12:14; I Peter 3:1-2

Hebrews 12:14 – Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

Hebrews 12:14 (TEV) – Try to be at peace with everyone, and try to live a holy life, because no one will see the Lord without it.

1 Peter 3:1-2
1 \tLikewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 \tWhile they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

1 Peter 3:1b-2 (TEV) – “…if any of them do not believe God's word, your conduct will win them over to believe. It will not be necessary for you to say a word, because they will see how pure and reverent your conduct is.”

I realize that this verse in I Peter is written specifically to wives of lost husbands, but I believe that the principle placed here before us transcends gender as it relates to winning others to God – especially friends and family members.
-\tOur peacefulness is a living testimony to others that Jesus Christ is real and makes a difference in our lives.
-\tWhen we live lives that promote peace, we testify to the “peace that passes all understanding” that only Jesus can give a person.

II.\tPUTTING BELIEF INTO ACTION

Well, like everything else we’ve studied in this series about applying God’s wisdom to our everyday lives, it looks good on paper.
-\tBut, as with the other lessons, putting feet on it isn’t always as easy as explaining what we should do and why.
-\tPerhaps the reason we find it so difficult to put our beliefs into action is that our natural tendency in applying these truths to our lives is to make it applicable to someone other than ourselves.
-\tBut if we will really take this to heart and say, “The buck stops with me; the application of God’s Word starts with me,” we will see the blessings of God.
-\tOur problems usually arise when we ignore God’s instruction for us personally and we apply it to others.

READ: Proverbs 20:3

Proverbs 20:3 – It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.

Proverbs 20:3 (The Message) – It’s a mark of good character to avert quarrels, but fools love to pick fights.

Proverbs 20:3 (TEV) – Any fool can start arguments; the honorable thing is to stay out of them.

Notice, it doesn’t say you should ignore strife, it says you should cease from it.
-\tWe are sometimes good at striking the match and throwing it into a pile of wood, then acting like there won’t be any fire.

If there is friction in a relationship, you have to deal with it. Ignoring a problem will not make it go away. You have to work to resolve it. And, you’re much better off if you can learn to cease from creating the conflict altogether before it becomes a problem.

Quickly, I want us to see some ways that we can handle conflict.
-\tSome of these ideas will help you avoid conflict, others will help you resolve conflict.
-\tEither way, it will reduce the amount of stress in your life and maximize your relationships.
-\tSo, let’s look at each one closely.

A.\tWAYS TO HANDLE CONFLICT

1.\tDelay your reaction.

The first thing that will help you handle conflict in your life is to delay any reaction you might have.
-\tWhen someone makes us mad, we have a tendency to want to let them know about it right away.
-\tSomewhere along the line we’ve been told that it isn’t healthy to fume and fret and that we should get things off our chest immediately.
-\tWe’ve been told “holding it in” only makes the problem worse, and so we use that as an excuse to let the other guy have it the minute something happens that we don’t like.

If you have used this strategy in dealing with conflict, you have probably already learned that it doesn’t work.
-\tSure, you blow off some steam, and you might feel a little better, but if you vent a little too much, you often cause more damage than you can repair.
-\tAnd, more often than not, you end up looking foolish.

Obviously, if you’re having conflict with another person, you can’t hold it in forever.
-\tHowever, when there is conflict in a relationship, you can, and should, delay your reaction long enough to evaluate what is going on.
-\tFlying off the handle is easy, flying back on the handle can be a tricky maneuver.
-\tListen, before you blow up in anger at someone, give yourself some time to think things over.

READ: Proverbs 12:16

Proverbs 12:16 – A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.

Proverbs 12:16 (The Message) – Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.

Another translation of that same verse states it this way: A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

A delayed reaction will give you time to evaluate the situation, and help you determine if it really is worth discussing.
-\tMaybe after thinking it over you will realize that you overreacted.
-\tMaybe you'll discover you didn't have all the facts.
-\tMaybe you'll discover that things weren't what they seemed to be.
•\tWaiting to react will give you time to reflect, will make you seem like someone of great understanding AND will save you from having to apologize later.
\tProverbs 14:17 – He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly…
\tProverbs 14:29 – He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

The first thing that will help you handle conflict is a delayed reaction.
-\tThink of it this way: if you have a problem with procrastination, this is one area where it will come in handy.
-\tProcrastinate your anger.
-\tDelay, at least for a few hours, flying off the handle, until you’ve had some time to evaluate the situation.

The second thing you need to do is...

2.\tRespond firmly but gently.

When you’re in conflict with another person, you don’t have to put heat on your words in order to have impact.
-\tYou only have to be willing to follow through on what you say.
-\tThe problem is, sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that it is easier to intimidate someone by yelling and screaming than it is to actually deal with the problem at hand.
-\tWe need to keep in mind what Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
-\tProverbs 29:11 (TEV) – Stupid people express their anger openly, but sensible people are patient and hold it back.

It has been said that the less weight your words carry, the more volume you have to put behind them.
-\tWhenever you're attempting to resolve conflicts with someone, say what you need to say gently, and say it firmly.
-\tDon't make threats you do not intend to carry out.
-\tJust say what you mean and mean what you say.

Too often, we take the opposite approach.
-\tWe yell and scream.
-\tWe get huffy.
-\tWe make sarcastic remarks.
-\tAs a result, nothing ever gets resolved.

If you’re having conflict with someone, say what you need to say. Make an effort to say it gently —you don’t have to be cruel. Make an effort to say it firmly. Without threats or ultimatums simply tell the other person your perspective on the problem. Remember Proverbs 15:1.

Perhaps we should strive to be like the saintly-looking old fellow who was running to catch the bus.
-\tJust as he appeared to be winning the race, the bus driver with a fiendish smirk, pulled away from the curb and the wheels splashed muddy water over the old man.
•\tSoftly, the old gentleman murmured, “May his soul find peace.”
•\tStill, more softly, he added, “And the sooner the better.”

Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) – A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

3.\tStrive for a solution.

Think of the conflict you’re currently facing.
-\tDo you find yourself having the same argument again and again, day after day?
-\tDo you find yourself repeatedly telling someone (or repeatedly being told) everything that is wrong with the relationship, yet nothing ever gets fixed?

This is the course too many marriages, friendships, parent-child relationships, and work-related conflicts tend to take.
-\tPeople want to go on and on and on about the problem, but they don’t want to work towards finding a solution.

Most people, when someone is mad at them, are not nearly as interested in hearing what they’ve done wrong as they are in hearing what they can do to make things better.
-\tObviously, discussing the problem is part of finding a solution, but if all one does is talk about the problem, nothing will ever get fixed.

If you’re having conflict with someone, it’s because they’re doing something you don’t want them to do, or you’re doing something they don’t want you to do.
-\tIn order to resolve the conflict, one of you will have to change your behavior, or the other will have to change the way they feel about the behavior.
-\tBy the way, if the conflict is with your boss, guess which one of you will have to change.

If you want to resolve the conflict in your life, you have to be willing to let go of the conflict, and direct your attention to a solution, (See Proverbs 15:18).

Proverbs 15:18 – A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 15:18 (The Message) – Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.

Strive for a solution to conflict.
-\tYou don’t have to keep reminding the other person what they did wrong.
-\tOnce they have taken steps to make peace, you have to be willing to let it go.

Don’t be like the man from California who had gone through a divorce; and in California, the laws require the payment of alimony as well as child support.
-\tHe found a company that specialized in printing personal checks and ordered, in the words of the salesman who filled his order, the most unusual set of personalized checks he had ever seen or sold.
-\tThis man wanted a very special picture printed on his checks; and it seems that he wanted his order of checks to be printed for the sole purpose of making these alimony payments to his former wife.
-\tGuess what picture he had printed on the check?
•\tIt was a picture showing him beautifully kissing his new wife!

Spiritually mature people aren’t interested in keeping conflict alive.
-\tThey are, as Solomon said, more inclined to calm a quarrel...to avoid strife...to cover a wrong whenever possible.

If you’re in conflict with another person, you can’t ignore the conflict.
-\tYou have to deal with it.
•\tYou deal with it by striving for a solution, not by revisiting the past day after day.

III.\tCONCLUSION

We have an obligation as believers to live peaceful lives if it is at all possible.
-\tWe need to be people who promote peacefulness.
-\tWe don’t need to be antagonistic with our adversaries.
-\tOur attitudes and actions toward being peacemakers and peacekeepers will do us good – it’ll prolong our days and make them happier times at that.
-\tAnd, most of all, it points people to the One who makes the difference in our lives.

But even beyond that…

There are going to be times when conflicts arise and we need to know how to deal with them in a way that glorifies Christ. If you have a job, if you have a spouse, if you have children, if you have neighbors, if you have friends, if you go to church...you will have conflict in your life. But you don’t have to live and/or work in a war zone. You can avoid or resolve the conflict in your life by approaching it with wisdom.

That means:
-\tDelay your reaction.
-\tSpeak your mind gently but firmly.
-\tWork for a solution.

Try this, and you will experience peace in your relationships.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 09: NEVER GIVE UP!

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 24:16

I.\tINTRODUCTION

We consider the Apostle Paul today to be one of the great heroes of the faith; but the Bible gives us indications that even he had times of discouragement and apparently faced times when he was physically or emotionally knocked down. The beauty of this is that we get to read of the way that he had learned to handle those bad situations.

READ: II Corinthians 4:8-11

II.\tWHY NOT GIVE UP?

With our lives, we DRAW a picture that shows what we believe to others.

A.\t“D” – OUR PERSISTENCE DISTINGUISHES CHRIST AS THE ONE WHO MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES.

READ: I Corinthians 6:20; John 16:33

B.\t“R” – OUR PERSISTENCE REINFORCES HIS SUFFICIENCY TO OTHERS.

READ: II Corinthians 3:2-5; Psalm 37:25

C.\t“A” – OUR PERSISTENCE APPROPRIATES THE TRUTHS WE’VE LEARNED AND CLAIM TO BE EFFECTIVE

NOTE: Most of the precious promises that we learn from God’s Word are things that we can only appropriate in our lives after we fall. When we get back up and don’t give up, we say that what we have learned is true

D.\t“W” – OUR PERSISTENCE WITNESSES TO THE LOST WORLD.

READ: Philippians 1:12-14

Paul could have wallowed in self-pity; instead he got up, in a manner of speaking, and kept a positive attitude and wrote to encourage this church and told them why: because the gospel was being preached and people were being won to Christ.

If we never give up, we have an open door to tell others of Jesus.

READ: Matthew 5:16

III.\tHOW TO KEEP FROM GIVING UP

We are an army – the army of the Lord. Our persistence should remind ourselves and others of an army on the MARCH against the enemy.

A.\t“M” – MEASURE THE COST OF EACH SETBACK.

B.\t“A” – ACKNOWLEDGE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.

READ: 1 John 1:7-10

C.\t“R” – RETURN TO THE SOURCE OF YOUR STRENGTH.

READ: John 15:5; Philippians 4:13

REMEMBER: The church is the body of Christ on earth. We can’t separate ourselves from the body of Christ and survive. Like a body part amputated from the rest of the body, we would ultimately be destroyed.

D.\t“C” – COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR LEADER REGULARLY.

READ: I Thessalonians 5:17; Philippians 4:6; II Timothy 3:16

E.\t“H” – HEAD OUT TO LOOK FOR MORE OPPORTUNITIES.

READ: Philippians 3:12-14

IV.\tCONCLUSION

The world in which we live offers us all more opportunities in a week to make choices for good or bad than someone living 100 years ago may have had in a lifetime. We all must be wise in making those choices.

The wise man will never give up! He will never give up, and should he fall, he will get back up, because he knows why he should, and because he understands what to do to get going again. And his persistence will be a sweet savor to the Lord.

Micah 7:8 – Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.

FIRST PENTECOSTAL CHURCH OF OAKDALE\t\t\tPASTOR T. R. KELLEY
SERIES: WISDOM FOR TODAY
LESSON 09: NEVER GIVE UP!

BIBLE READING: PROVERBS 24:16

This evening we finish a series of messages that I called “Wisdom for Today.”
-\tWhile I haven’t verbalized it as such, my prayer was – and still is – that this series would help us realize that, even today, God’s wisdom is relevant and perfect for our lives.
-\tIn so many ways, the world is completely different today than it was even as recently as 10 years ago.
-\tYet, even today, the basic needs of humanity are the same.
-\tThe things that motivate us, the things that trouble us, are still the same.
-\tThe enemy we have is still the same and still going about as a roaring lion, seeking to devour or destroy whomever he can.
-\tGod’s Word is still our best weapon against him and his emissaries.

So I pray that these messages haven’t gone in one ear and out the other.
-\tI pray that they have meant as much to you as they have to me.
-\tI pray that we all will put the wisdom we’ve seen from the Word of God into use in our daily lives.

To be sure, however, there will be times when we fail.
-\tIt may be that Satan puts up obstacles that prohibit us.
-\tIt may be that we make poor decisions.
-\tBut make no mistake, humans will be humans, and despite having the Bible and knowing how to live and act wisely, we will still sometimes fall flat on our faces.
-\tAnd this evening, I want to encourage you with one last bit of wisdom from the book of Proverbs:
•\t“Never give up!”

Proverbs 24:16 – For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

Proverbs 24:16 (AMP) – “For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again…”

Proverbs 24:16 (The Message) – No matter how many times you trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long; Soon they're up on their feet…”

Proverbs 24:16 (TEV) – “No matter how often an honest man falls, he always gets up again…”

I.\tINTRODUCTION

We consider the Apostle Paul today to be one of the great heroes of the faith; but the Bible gives us indications that even he had times of discouragement and apparently faced times when he was physically or emotionally knocked down. The beauty of this is that we get to read of the way that he had learned to handle those bad situations.

READ: II Corinthians 4:8-11

II Corinthians 4:8-11
8 \tWe are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9 \tPersecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
10 \tAlways bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
11 \tFor we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

Paul told the Corinthians that he knew that he had been knocked down several times.
-\tHe had suffered greatly – at the hands of the world AND at the hands of fellow believers.

His is an example that we should try to follow.
-\tBut too often, we are tempted instead to throw up our hands and say, “What’s the use? Why not give up?”

II.\tWHY NOT GIVE UP?

With our lives, we DRAW a picture that shows what we believe to others.

With the letters D-R-A-W, I want to impress upon you why we should never give up!

A.\t“D” – OUR PERSISTENCE DISTINGUISHES CHRIST AS THE ONE WHO MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES.

READ: I Corinthians 6:20; John 16:33

I Corinthians 6:20 – For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Our lives should glorify our Lord and Savior.
-\tThe things that happen to us should be avenues that we use to bring glory to Him.
-\tEven when something comes up that knocks us off of our feet, when we get up, we tell the world that Christ is greater.

John 16:33 – These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
-\tIf we stumble and fall, and refuse to get up, we tell the world, our Christian brothers and sisters – and we tell the Lord Himself – that we don’t think He has overcome whatever it is that knocked us down.

B.\t“R” – OUR PERSISTENCE REINFORCES HIS SUFFICIENCY TO OTHERS.

Our lives influence others’ lives.
-\tWe have young Christians who are watching us.

The Lord Himself watches our actions and reactions to everything that happens in our lives.
-\tWhen we don’t give up after adversity, we tell those people who watch us as people of influence that even though we are not up to the task, Christ is sufficient to bring us through.

READ: II Corinthians 3:2-5; Psalm 37:25

II Corinthians 3:2-5
2 \tYe are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:
3 \tForasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.
4 \tAnd such trust have we through Christ to God-ward:
5 \tNot that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;

II Corinthians 3:2b – “Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you.”

Psalms 37:25 – I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

C.\t“A” – OUR PERSISTENCE APPROPRIATES THE TRUTHS WE’VE LEARNED AND CLAIM TO BE EFFECTIVE

What good would it do me to know how to open a parachute if I never pulled the cord after being pushed from the plane?
-\tWhen we read I John 4:8-10, we learn that God is love.
•\tWhen we get knocked down and give up, what we are saying by our actions is, “God does NOT love me.”
-\tWhen we read Psalm 25:8, we learn that God is good.
•\tWhen we get knocked down and give up, we say, by our actions, “God is NOT good to me.”
-\tWhen we read Psalm 103:3, we learn that God is forgiving.
•\tWhen we get knocked down and give up, we say, by our actions, “God does NOT forgive me.”
-\tWhen we read I Peter 5:7, we learn that God personally cares about us.
•\tWhen we get knocked down and give up, we say, by our actions, “God does NOT personally care about me.”
-\tWhen we read Romans 8:28, we learn that God works all things for our good.
•\tWhen we get knocked down and give up, we say, by our actions, “God does NOT work this thing toward anything that is good for me.”

NOTE: Most of the precious promises that we learn from God’s Word are things that we can only appropriate in our lives after we fall. When we get back up and don’t give up, we say that what we have learned is true

D.\t“W” – OUR PERSISTENCE WITNESSES TO THE LOST WORLD.

Paul had come to the understanding of the greater good of being a prisoner for Christ’s sake when he wrote to the church at Philippi.

READ: Philippians 1:12-14

Philippians 1:12-14
12 \tBut I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel;
13 \tSo that my bonds in Christ are manifest in all the palace, and in all other places;
14 \tAnd many of the brethren in the Lord, waxing confident by my bonds, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.

Paul could have wallowed in self-pity; instead he got up, in a manner of speaking, and kept a positive attitude and wrote to encourage this church and told them why: because the gospel was being preached and people were being won to Christ.

Whether it is when you get knocked down or after the fact, the Lord can use those instances as a witness to lost people.
-\tThey may ask you how you could keep going.
-\tThey may see that a major setback doesn’t totally defeat you.
-\tThey will want to know why.

If we never give up, we have an open door to tell others of Jesus.

READ: Matthew 5:16

Matthew 5:16 – Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

III.\tHOW TO KEEP FROM GIVING UP

We are an army – the army of the Lord. Our persistence should remind ourselves and others of an army on the MARCH against the enemy.

A.\t“M” – MEASURE THE COST OF EACH SETBACK.

When you fail to be wise, when you have been knocked off of your feet, survey the situation and see who, besides you, may have suffered.

B.\t“A” – ACKNOWLEDGE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.

Acknowledge and confess any sins that may have caused the problem

READ: 1 John 1:7-10

1 John 1:7-10
7 \tBut if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
8 \tIf we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 \tIf we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 \tIf we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Understand that Satan will do whatever he can to get you to quit!

C.\t“R” – RETURN TO THE SOURCE OF YOUR STRENGTH.

If we separate ourselves from the source of victory, we will eventually give up.
-\tThat is why we must remember where our strength comes from.

READ: John 15:5; Philippians 4:13

John 15:5 – I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 4:13 (The Message) – Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

Philippians 4:13 (TEV) – I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.

REMEMBER: The church is the body of Christ on earth. We can’t separate ourselves from the body of Christ and survive. Like a body part amputated from the rest of the body, we would ultimately be destroyed.

D.\t“C” – COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR LEADER REGULARLY.

Speak to Him in prayer continuously!

READ: I Thessalonians 5:17; Philippians 4:6; II Timothy 3:16

I Thessalonians 5:17 – Pray without ceasing.

I Thessalonians 5:17 (TEV) – Pray at all times.

I Thessalonians 5:17 (NIV) – Pray Continually.

Philippians 4:6 – Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Philippians 4:6 (The Message) – Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

Philippians 4:6 (TEV) – Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart.

Listen to what the Lord is saying to you through His Word, for all of Scripture is God-inspired…

II Timothy 3:16 – All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

II Timothy 3:16 (The Message) – Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another — showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way.

An army that does not know the heart and mind of its leader will not understand some of the individual strategy necessary to win a war.
-\tA good leader tells his troops what they will be required to do in battle and good soldiers listen and respond to the leader’s instructions.

E.\t“H” – HEAD OUT TO LOOK FOR MORE OPPORTUNITIES.

READ: Philippians 3:12-14

Philippians 3:12-14
12 \tNot as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
13 \tBrethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 \tI press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Paul’s faith and reliance on Christ were more than just lip service.
-\tHe lived his life in such a way that he said he forgot the things of the past and went out looking for more opportunities to share Christ.

Sometimes, it isn’t that hard to get back up from something that has knocked the wind from our sails, but the hard part comes in pressing on.
-\tWe theorize that it is okay to be knocked down and we will smile and say “God is good” when we get back up, but inwardly, we shy away from putting ourselves back into a situation where it can happen again.
-\tWe need to avoid that tendency and head back out to the fight.

IV.\tCONCLUSION

The world in which we live offers us all more opportunities in a week to make choices for good or bad than someone living 100 years ago may have had in a lifetime. We all must be wise in making those choices.

I trust that, as we reflect over the last several weeks, we have learned or relearned some principles that will help us to be wise.
-\tBut I want to always be aware that, even when we forget – even when we make poor choices – we can and should get up again.
-\tWhenever we are doing what the Lord wants us to do and we see obstacles come up or discouragement surround us, we must remember to never give up.

The wise man will never give up! He will never give up, and should he fall, he will get back up, because he knows why he should, and because he understands what to do to get going again. And his persistence will be a sweet savor to the Lord.

Micah 7:8 – Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.

All Glory to God, Thank you Jesus.