In marriage are husband and wife instructed to come together for prayer, Bible reading, and so on? If either of the spouse choose to not share that part of their life with the other is that sin? Would it be wrong for a wife to expect her husband to share his struggles and things that he is seeing with her? I am asking with the understanding that both husband and wife love the Lord, are born again and love each.
Thank you
rdg
RDG,
If either of the spouse choose to not share that part of their life with the other is that sin? Would it be wrong for a wife to expect her husband to share his struggles and things that he is seeing with her?
Don't forget that in a Biblical marriage, two become one (Gen 2:24). So, if one person is experiencing a difficulty, the other is as well.
I guess I don't understand why a spouse would want to keep something from the other one.
In marriage are husband and wife instructed to come together for prayer, Bible reading, and so on?
Ephesians 5:25-27 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."
Romans 14:12 says that we will have to give an account of ourselves to God. Since man is head of his wife (Ephesians 5:23) and the two are one flesh, I would say that this means the husband will have to give an account for his wife as well.
Therefore, he should hold his wife accountable. She should continue to grow in maturity and sanctification.
Fuehrerbe21
You asked:I guess I don't understand why a spouse would want to keep something from the other one.
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In my question I did not mean that one spouse was keeping secrets from the other. What I meant is that the husband is in some ways an introvert, he does not share with the wife about anything that he struggles with. He has his own Bible reading time, and prayer time.
Thanks for sharing the verses, I will be praying on this.
rdg
Well, being married myself, I too have my own personal study time, but I also share, instruct, discuss and hold accountable my wife to her own personal study. We may not always pull apart a passage the way I do in my own study, but we have a time of devotion each day after dinner.
This is not only something we do to strengthen each other and our marriage, but also an example for our daughter (and other children yet to come).
I know that by sharing with my wife, she helps keep me in check. How would the husband know the condition of his wife if they never discuss or study together?
God's word is something that we, as Christians, should rejoice in! We should never tire of sharing it with others, especially our spouses! After a life time of studying it, we will never fully grasp the complexities of God! When I said, "I don't understand why a spouse would want to keep something from the other one" I was not referring to secrets, rather I was referring to the word of God!
In regards to his personal struggles, I can tell you from my own experience, I don't hide anything from my wife. Even if I look at another woman with a lustful eye, I tell her. 1.) I have sinned against her, and scripture says to seek after the one you have sinned against before you seek God and 2.) she can't help me if she doesn't know I'm struggling. If she knows what I struggle with, she can pray for me and hold me accountable to those things. For example, if I struggle with pornography, then she will know not leave me home alone. If I struggle with drinking, she will hold me accountable to refraining from going to a bar or purchasing alcohol.
I see what you are saying, but a wife does need to be careful not to demand or expect those kinds of things from her husband right???
Maybe I will just try to get my friend to post here on SI. Might be better for her to share what she is struggling with herself.
rdg
Sometimes there may be issues and revelations which due to where eachperson is in their walk, it isn't always appropriate or constructive to share with one's spouse. There may be a work whcih our Lord is doing in one's husband or wife which He has shared with one person and the husband/wife must stay out of His way as He accomplishes it. Oftentimes this simply means letting things run it's course, even when it seems like a hurrican is coming through.
The same thing can relate to prayer at times within a marriage. Due to maturity/ignorance, two people may not be inagreement in their prayer life, making any cooperative prayer useless until the Lord straightens things out. When we try to force a unity which isn't there at the moment, then it becomes a work of the flesh and just creates strife and confusion.
We must be careful in reading the scriptures and interpreting them in the flesh. Everything isn't always so black and white.
True word
If either of the spouse choose to not share that part of their life with the other is that sin?
No.
Perhaps another issue one should be more concerned about and that is how is [i]my
I saw a comment on a Christian website yesterday concerning a wife's submission to her husband and was a tad bit taken back where the poster called this concept "archaic, no longer applies to today's world..." rdg, it is easy to unknowlingly absorb the world's philosophy by reading modern women's magazines. This stuff should be considered poison, filthy rags and treated as such. Maybe this is this sister's problem? Something to consider...
rdg, this lady should remember males are wired differently then females. Males are not into feelings like females. Not all are like Dr. Dobson in this department: he is exceptional. So whatever you do do not complain about this difference, but embrace it and thank the LORD for this difference. Hey, I would be aghast if my husband would be like me! He is totally different BUT we need each other to fill in the gaps that God placed there. We are made with gaps and God made us women to fill these in. Don't fight it, and don't complain about it. Accept it with joy and humility and things will work out fine. Trust me - been there, done that.
Hope this helps,
ginnyrose
and we do as women need to submit to our husbands even when they are not walking according to the way they should. He doesn't tell us to submit to them as long as they're obedient, but to submit to them so that they can be won to obedience...even though they may be right or wrong, we are held accountable to our own actions and are called to submit to them.
i would encourage your friend to listen to any of paul washer 's sermons on marriage, or denny kenaston's hidden woman.
With my friends permission in her own words this is what is on her heart. Thanks for the replies I will pass them along to her, she does not have her own account yet...rdg
Dear ones in Christ,
I got married when I was pretty young, we have been together for some years now, we both love the Lord very much and are born again believers. My husband is an introvert, he likes being away from people. He is also very unemotional, and has a very difficult time giving of himself in any kind of personal level, or expressing his emotions. Getting him to open up and talk about things that are on his heart is very rare. He is very hard working, and is very diligent in providing for us. He works long hours, sometimes ten hours a day. His job does require that he interact with people and I do understand that when he gets home he needs some time to just be alone, but my problem is that he spends almost all of his time when he is home doing solitary things, reading, studying and so on. We do not pray together, or read the Word together at all. He has his own prayer and quite time separate from me. When I try to share things with him, my struggles or the things I have learned, he listens but offers no thoughts or opinions. He is very helpful around the house when I need him, and he does at times try to be more open, but its been a long road. Please don't think this is a post about a woman slamming her husband, its not. In fact the advice I am looking for is not about my husband at all, but rather about my heart and attitudes in dealing with him. I love my husband very much and I know deep down in his heart that he loves me to, I also know that his separating himself to the degree that he does is sin and something that he needs to die to. I have shared that with him, so he knows my heart on that, but I am not here looking for ways to change him. Its not my job to change him, that's the Lords job, and my husband is much better off having the Lord open his eyes to these things then me trying to harass him or nag him into changing. I do pray for him and I think he prays for me. My problem is that I find myself struggling with some very real issues in my daily walk lately that I could use prayer for and maybe some guidance in. Just lately I am beginning to struggle more with becoming frustrated with my husband, and at times I am overly sensitive to things that come up. Most of the time I feel like I am going through things alone and find myself really wishing that he and I shared that kind of intimacy that some couples seem to have where they are really able to be there for one another. I don't want to give into the enemy or give him a foot hold in my life where my marriage is concerned. I know that much of what I am struggling with is sin on my part and I really need to lay it down at the cross. I keep asking myself if I am asking for to much, expecting to much from my husband? Perhaps my wanting these things is coming from selfish motives on my part? Am I just being overly emotional , perhaps there are some things more in my own heart that the Lord is seeking to open my eyes to? IF you feel so led, please pray for me, my name is Marie.
His servant
marie
Hello, Marie. My name is William and from reading your story, you sound like you could be my wife in so many ways. I don't know your husband or where he is in his walk, but I'd like to share some things with you concerning my own walk.
Many people, including my wife, often accuse me of being an introvert and even cold at times. It really hurts because none of them bothers to ask me the types of questions necessary to understand why I may appear that way. Let me explain the appearance of being 'cold' or 'unemotional' first. I'm a very passionate man, but I'm at a point in my walk that He's really given me great self control. This allows me to be able to listen and hear clearly in situations where most people just can't. Because I don't give the typical 'natural' response in many situations, people are often mistaken into believing that I don't care. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I've learned that only the lord knows the best way of dealing with situations and have been trained to live in that rest. It's really amazing at times because it can almost be like living outside of one's self.
Another example is with problems, for instance finances. Because of our walks, we are required to never be able to get ahead. We are steadily being stretched in our faith to prepare us for what's coming. My wife doesn't fully understand why we have to suffer what we suffer, but I do. I'm at the point in my walk where I don't bat a eye at most problems which arise because I KNOW that He's got in all in order. He had never let me down. As long as i'm seeking His will for my life, I never have to worry about anything which I need. It's so real for me that I don't need to get worried about what are we going to do.
As for being introverted, that one is easy toexplain but difficult for many people to accept. My favorite subject is my Lord. Flat out. I don't care about things which many people place value in; cars, entertainment, sports, etc.... When people's focus is on these things I really have nothing much to say because those things really don't interest me. I'm not the type of person who is interested in small talk and have no need to fill silences. I appreciate real conversation about my Lord or about people's lives. Things which will mean something. It's never anything personal.
It seems to me that there are some people who truly are introverted and it's by the Lord's design. There are some who have issues which need to be resolved. There are some, who instead of being introverted are just misunderstood. Whichever one your husband may be, appreciate him for the gift he is to you. Have faith that if the Lord wants him to be more open, then our Lord will make it so. Just stand strong and thank God for the man which you have. Love him and appreciate him.
Hello William
I do not have my own account as of yet so my friend is allowing me to use hers for the time being. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing with me. I do love my husband and am thankful for him.
In Him
Marie
Oh, there's no doubt in my mind that you do, and that you do so very much. this post was as much for myself as it was for you. It was really right on time and inspired me. Blessings and hugs to you.
Thank you and thank you for my time with you here.
In Him
Marie
I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who shared with my friend. I think what she is in need most of all is prayer. I feel like the enemy is trying to attack and cause strife in her marriage so if you feel led to pray for her that would be so great.
rdg
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