Choosing not to have children

i believe children are wonderful and are a huge blessing from the Lord. The topic came up recently about if it would be best considering the times we now live in, not to have children? Some relatives of mine have chosen to purposely not have children because they believe the end times are either very close or we are now living in them already. Financially things are difficult and the world is becoming more and more vile all the time. I have been thinking of this, there are many older mature saints who all seem to be saying that we are about to go through really awful times, with persecution and so on. Having young children would make things so much harder for those who are going through these things. I was thinking about the schools systems already, and how filled with worldly sinful stuff is being pushed on little children. There is such a bombardment of this stuff now even and it will only get worse. Has this thought come to anyone else? If we are to have faith that God will care for us, shouldn't we trust Him to care for our little children to? Just wondering if this topic has come up with anyone else lately, especially in light of all the prophecy that has been put forward about the times we are in?

rdg

This is a good answer to your question. [url=http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Blog/Entries/2009/6/11_Is_An_Economic_Downturn_A_Good_Reason_to_Stop_Having_Kids.html]

Thank you for the article. The young woman that have shared with me about this are thinking that this is the end times and bases their choices on that assumption.

rdg

rdg,

Choosing to have children or not is not a modern day question. It has existed a long time.
Now consider - since this is an old question, what would the world look like if all Christian people would have surrendered to this fear and not have had children? Consider also: sinful society would have produced children regardless of the future...Now this is the practical; let's consider some Biblical principles and perhaps this will teach us a few things which could help us deal with this issue.

What would motivate one to not have children? Is it not fear? What place does fear have in the life of the Believer? None, right? If your decisions are motivated by fear, you will need to take this to the cross and allow Jesus to take it. If you do not have the faith to have a family, then you just better not get married. Period. If you are married and are intimate with your spouse, you will [likely] conceive sooner or later. Then what will you do? Have an abortion?

Scripture tells us that children are a blessing from the LORD. So why would you want to refuse a blessing from the LORD? I will promise you one thing that children will do to an individual: it will help you grow up!!!! I asked our oldest son this one time, "I sometimes wonder who raises who: the parent the children or the children the parent?" He said he thinks it works both ways. And I agree. I hate to say this but most people who have never had children are just very different. Children teach adults a lot and one of them is patience...and this list goes on and on.

BTW, this question was discussed when we were having children and ours were born from 1968 - 1980....and our married children are having babies, also.

Does this help you any?

Blessings,
ginnyrose

Thank you ginnyrose, your post was very helpful. My first thoughts about this was that anyone who chose to purposely avoid having children was guilty of not trusting the Lord. I have heard from several young couples now and even a few single young women about this. Some seem very sincere in what they feel they are seeing about not having a family. One couple has already gone to the doctor and they will not be having children. Others are considering this. One woman, she is single has decided to remain single so she can be about the kingdom and feels strongly not to have any children. Most of them have the same thoughts in mind, that since we are now in the end times and tribulation is just months away they feel strongly to not have children. They all seem to agree that children are a blessing from the Lord, so its kind of confusing really. May I ask you, do you feel it is wrong/sinful for a couple together to prayerfully decided to not have children?(to go to the doctor to insure that there are no pregnancy?) Do you feel it is sinful for a young woman to decide to remain single in order to be able to be more about the kingdom? You mentioned that this topic was discussed when you were having your children, I was wondering what were the reasons then? Did everyone think that it was the end with lots of prophecy being shared about how this was it, Revelations about to happen kind of thing?
I guess having talked with them I do understand some, but at the same time, in some ways it almost seems like selfish behavior. Fear and a lack of faith may play apart in this as well. So many people out there saying that the sky is falling or about to fall, after awhile it does take a toll on you.

rdg

edit: To be really honest even some of the post here about pending doom as had me thinking about these things very seriously. So much talk about the end, and what is coming, but not a lot of encouraging to trust in the Lord at times? Any thoughts?

I will try to answer your question, rdg.

that since we are now in the end times and tribulation is just months away they feel strongly to not have children.

So many people out there saying that the sky is falling or about to fall, after awhile it does take a toll on you.

My response:
The end times have been ever since Jesus ascended to heaven. The times we are in today, as of June 25 is closer to the end then it was say 100 years ago. The point is we do not know whether the endtime as spoken of in Revelation is close as in tomorrow, or ten or twenty years. All this is pure speculation. Throughout all of history, the church has been the object of the devil's wrath. I am told more Christians have died for their faith in the 1900s then in any other period of history. And we are still here today.

Many godly people in countries that are hostile to Christianity went ahead and had children, like in Communist countries. They also did it during the Reformation era in which the Catholics and Reformers killed those who did not agree with them as well.

One woman, she is single has decided to remain single so she can be about the kingdom and feels strongly not to have any children.

Paul said the same thing, so she is in good company.

May I ask you, do you feel it is wrong/sinful for a couple together to prayerfully decided to not have children?(to go to the doctor to insure that there are no pregnancy?)

This is potentially a thorny question - regardless what I say, someone will take issue with it. I will say this: it would make a huge difference on the reason why sterilization would have been done. If there are children or simply do not want any. Some will say you should have as many children as nature will give you noting OT characters who had large families. Others say, yes, but you need to be responsible.

My answer to this point is that while the OT characters had large families they were not from ONE woman. If a fellow had twelve, how many mothers were in this mix? four, like Jacob? In my search Hannah had the largest family and that was six or seven children...

So, is it sinful to be sterilized? I would have to say "no" because the scriptures do not say "Thou shalt not.." However, I would consider it very unwise for a young childless couple to have this done. Too many who did have later regretted it and worked for a reversal. Too often these decisions are made based on current emotions which are always fickle.

Do you feel it is sinful for a young woman to decide to remain single in order to be able to be more about the kingdom?

No.

You mentioned that this topic was discussed when you were having your children, I was wondering what were the reasons then? Did everyone think that it was the end with lots of prophecy being shared about how this was it, Revelations about to happen kind of thing?

The reason people were scared to have children? Because Khrushchev was declaring they will bury the USA and it looked like they might. Never happened yet, and he has been dead for a while. AND people also thought the end was near. Christians have sounded the alarm for years when bad things were happening.

To be really honest even some of the post here about pending doom as had me thinking about these things very seriously. So much talk about the end, and what is coming, but not a lot of encouraging to trust in the Lord at times? Any thoughts?

I agree. I, too, am concerned. I learned a lesson when our daughter was terminally ill: live each day to the fullest. Make life happen and then if or when she dies, God will be there to help us deal with that. I did it and this is exactly what happened. This insight came after I got into the WORD and confronted God about Regina's illness.

I hope my reply makes sense - I am in the process of dealing with interruptions.

Does this help any? any more questions?

Blessings,
ginnyrose

I agree with ginnyrose. Children are a blessing from God. We have two girls under the age of 5, while it's sometimes overwhelming thinking about all of the things they will face, the blessing of having them out weigh any fears. We are not to live our lives based upon fear anyways. I can't imagine life with out them.

I know this is problably off topoic but lately God has really been dealing with my wife and I regarding orphans, the abused and the fatherless. We are praying for direction and discernment as we seek to follow him wherever he may lead. With that said maybe in this sinful world, more of us should embrace the idea of adoption and bringing some children into a Christian family.

rdg,

Last night I reed an article in a magazine and immediately thought of you, thought that it may help you...

The magazine is "Country, Extra" published by Reiman Publications, Greendale, WI. The article is "We Didn't Know We Were Poor", Subtitle - "Farming Families survived the 1929 crash with hope, faith and love" written by Norma Strauss. If you do not have it, your public library might. I would encourage you to read this, it is a heartwarming article. Not only did I think of you but all others who may be struggling with prophecies of gloom and doom.

I should say this article does not get into the specifics of the spiritual dimension, more of the practical. But it is a worthwhile read, IMHO.

Blessings,
ginnyrose

Yes! Children are from God and itis not up to us to deside who lives and who doesn't!

AMEN marc mc!!

Thanks for the comments to my post, its very interesting to hear what others are seeing. I spoke with one sister in Christ who shared that when she was younger, her and her husband were pressured by family members to have no more children so he went to the doctor. Years later both of them regretted the decision and felt has if they had acted in accordance to mans will and not what the Lord would have had for them. She said that while she would have liked to have had more children, what really bothers her is that fact that she did not have more faith and trust in the Lord at the time.

ginnyrose-thanks for suggesting the article I will look for it at the library.

rdg

Years later both of them regretted the decision and felt has if they had acted in accordance to mans will and not what the Lord would have had for them.

This happens oftener then we realize.

ginnyrose

God has really been dealing with my wife and I regarding orphans, the abused and the fatherless. We are praying for direction and discernment as we seek to follow him wherever he may lead. With that said maybe in this sinful world, more of us should embrace the idea of adoption and bringing some children into a Christian family.

shadyg, I would be extremely careful in [i]who[/i] you take into your home. If you bring in a child that has experienced sexual abuse, just know for a fact this child will work to perpetuate this behaviour among others close by. And you have children, right? You do not want them exposed to this hideous sin. I promise you if they are they get scared for life!

The bottom line is that you do not allow emotions of pity, compassion determine who you bring into your home. You let God do this choosing and you wait on Him to show who this person is.

The tragedy is how sin effects children. These sin scared children need loving parents as well, but unless you know how to deal with this sin, you can be inviting little devils into your home and it can infect your own children as well..so dreadfully sad...

May God bless you richly.
ginnyrose

Thanks for your advice. I do appreciate it and understand what you mean.

We are currently in a holding pattern of prayer at the moment. We are not quite sure what God is speaking to us only that it involves ministering to youth/children in need of godly instruction and love.

Whatever it is it's going to be life changing. Already we feel as if God is closing the door for us in the area we are currently serving him.

It's a strange and wonderful thing as God has given us both a peace and patientce (I can't ever spell that word without looking it up. You can tell I didn't do that!) regarding trusting him to lead us at his appointed time.

What would you have done if your parents had decided not to have children?

You would have not live, you would not know the Lord and not written this post. Now apply this to your future children - see the point?

(I can't ever spell that word without

Do you not have spell check on your toolbar at the top? I use mine and it is wonderful to help me find my errors!

Whatever it is it's going to be life changing. Already we feel as if God is closing the door for us in the area we are currently serving him.

Rest assured brother, that the LORD will bring it to pass if he wants you to pursue bring other children into your home....

We have a couple in our church that adopted two beautiful girls from India. (They have one biological child in the middle of these two.) Then they worked to get two boys from Azerbaijan. They were approved and were waiting to get a call to go get them. The boys were chosen, they had pics of them. But they never got the invitation from the country to come. They made calls,worked to find out what the holdup is. Short of the long, it appears God closed the door - no go. This was last summer. By fall the mother had developed an debilitating eye ailment - conjunctivochalasis - that she is still wrestling with which may require surgery.

The point? if God closes the door, just know He knows the future better then we and be content in that. It is hard at times to surrender our dreams...

God bless you and your family..
ginnyrose

I haven't written here for a while,
But I have been thinking about this topic with my future wife for a while. Many here seem to be saying that not having a child is equal to not trusting in God.

I'm love children and just literally cry with joy at the thought of having a child in my image. It is such a blessing, something so miraculous and unimaginable. That God would give me such great grace to have a child. It would be God's child that had been intrusted by grace to me. Oh! I just think it is one of the greatest blessings after having been saved!

However.. The bible talks about the end times how the "pregnant women" will have a hard time.
It talks about "if you don't pick up the cross and deny your mother, father, son, or daugther you are not worthy of me." It talks about how Jesus has come not to give peace (internal peace yes, circumstancial peace maybe? but better to say no) but a sword.

Paul says that it is better not to marry because then the person will be more focused on his Kingdom than how to please the husband or the wife.

If a christian is not going to have children because he does not trust that God will provide everything, as forsaken this world is, this is definatly wrong.
However, if a christian chooses not to have children because of his passion to spread his name.. Because he has heard the outcry of the nations and has touched the weeping heart of God.. because he cannot bear anymore the thought of carrying on a normal life when Jesus has died for Him and everyone else that is dying in the muslim world.. then praise God for pouring out his heart on this Christian by grace.

11 of the 12 diciples died for Jesus. All of the early church were persecuted. Yet, in this world where we have everything, especially the churches that are not being persecuted, we often think more about receiving the blessings of God (such as children, material gains, good friends, etc) instead of really being willing to throw everything away for Jesus. I'm not saying that we should throw everything away. But I'm talking about the heart of the Christian. I will praise God for all the blessings he gives.. Yet, my heart sings out to Him that no, I want to know Him more and be found in him more, to see the nations come back.. And if this means that I will not be able to live enjoy the things that he wants to give.. Then hallelujah. Yes lord, I let them come..

If it means that I live in the streets with the Africans, then yes..
If it means that I give up my life..
Yes..
If it means that my parents will forsake me..
Then yes..

Yet, it is not that I have a mind of religious abstinance that declares these blessings to be bad.. No, in everything praise Him! But.. his heart.. His anxiety towards the lost..

His outcry to Isaiah.. "who will I send?"
God's heart seems to cry "Who I send? Many are enjoying their life and receiving the blessings of my cross, but who will join and die with me on the cross so that I may live in Him? Who will carry my heart towards these people whom I love? Many want to be like Paul, yet there are only a few that want to be persecuted like paul. Many want the blessings of Jesus, but few want the bloodripping agony of Mt. gesmane. Will you come with me?"

And yes, there are people here that will treat me as some kind of heretic that will not enjoy the blessings of God because of his religious abstinance. Yet.. I have no such heart.. I respect the person that will have children and expand the Kingdom through their children and love them and give thanks to God for such a extraordinary miraculous, unimaginable blessings.. But I love that person who in his heart has desires and craves for "thy will be done on here as it is in heaven" so much that he is capapble of throwing eveyrthing away..

Um. To end, I'm a missionary kid and have seen over 300 missionaries. Many cannot concentrate on his Kingdom because they think about the effects that certains actions will have on their children. Many hear the calling to be radical as Jesus's cross was radical, but to follow that path and walk as "Jesus did" is quite hard.

Hope that there are many among you that have been saved from such a bottomless pit, that Jesus is your everything. That there are stil many among you who like the Iranian Church and the Chineese church, know only the gospel and are always willing to give their lives for the sake of that great love on the calvary.