Jesus has brought me to this point, to this place...

Hey everyone

I am here posting because the Lord is doing something in my life, in my heart that I know will cost me...I have to be honest and say that for a few weeks now I have just had this over whelming urging to just really look to Jesus and surrender everything. To just completely let go of some of the things that I know I am still holding on to, self, worry, fear, doubt, frustration, control. I know the Lord is calling me to finally, completely die to all this stuff, the distractions that have held my attention away from Him. I'm not fully sure I even know what this looks like or means at this point. I don't even know who this person that He has for me to be... will be? What will she be like, what will it mean, but I do know that more that anything, there is a strong desire in my heart to just say "Yes Lord!" Still there is a battle being waged within my heart...there is another part of me that is afraid, that wants to hold on to...what? That is what I am not sure about, what is it that I am trying to hold on to? In the end does it even matter... I love the Lord and I want and desire to live for Him but I also know that some part of my heart I have held back from Him.

The Lord has given me a vision of a great chasm that stands between Jesus and myself. I desperately want to cross over to the other side that He is on but there seems to be no way. At first I feel lost and hopeless... I am standing at the edge of this huge chasm, below me is a deep ravine with sharp jagged rocks. “If you move forward you will surely fall,” fear whispers into my ear. Panic sets in, my heart is racing as I stand there near the edge I turn and look behind me, all I see is a life lived for self and I know that path only leads to death and separation from my beloved. As I lift my eyes I see, I know that He has brought me to this point, to this place and as I stand there on the edge, Jesus is standing just on the other side beckoning me to come to Him. I long to run into His open, waiting arms but how to reach the other side? Now it is His voice that fills my ears, “trust me, I will not fail you. I have carried you this far, have faith in Me.”

Please pray for me dear ones, please pray that I will not allow self to keep me from my Lord. Please pray that I will not allow the cares of this world to stop me from taking that first step and relinquishing all claims that I have held to being lord of my own life. Please pray that what ever it is within me that I am holding on to, I will lay down once and for all at the feet of the cross of my beloved Jesus! I know He is waiting for me, but I know He will not wait forever and that now is the time of decision, time for me to leap into the arms of my Lord. Time to live my life trusting in Him with all things, having faith that He is so much more capable then I, living in submission and obedience as a handmaiden to my Lord, eager to seek Him daily and to hear His voice, willing to follow His leading. Even now the enemy and self try to dissuade me into counting the cost of abandoning all, but I pray Lord let me only consider that price you paid for me at Calvary and no other.

Your little sis in Him

Yes, Jesus is calling you to forsake all and
follow HIM. Look with faith, there is a cross
that bridges the chasm between you and the LORD.
Step with faith, and your feet will be firm and
your way made sure !!

What a joy to pray for you dear sister. I have confidence in God. [u]Clearly you do too[/u]. You have heard Him! John 18:37 - To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth. [u]Every one that is of the truth[/u] heareth my voice. Can you sense the number of those that have read/heard your heart-cry that are in joy with how this will turn out.

“To just completely let go of some of the things that I know I am still holding on to, self, worry, fear, doubt, frustration, control.” --- Oh how we all fight to hold onto sin, our very own sin nature. Do you really want to hold on to frustration and fear? I am sure you hear how crazy that is and cry no, no!. One person put it, “As I continued to follow Him, agonizing over each step and confessing one sin after another, I finally got it that if it continued that way there would be nothing left of me. AND THEN I got it there would be nothing left of me. Hallelujah! and He finished it!” And it WAS finished for this Sister, just as He said. I know another Sister who just heard the Truth one day with no idea of all it meant, except that it was TRUTH. She just agreed (This is true whatever it means.) The Holy Spirit elaborates all that it means and equips perfectly with one unique needful thing after another in perfect order. We ARE His workmanship. What a relief.

So like what is it, Have you forgotten the Love of God? Do you imagine He intends evil for you? Where does that imagination come from? It keeps you from the knowledge of God (2 Cor. 10:5). Do you want all the details so you can approve or disapprove of (judge) God's purpose in giving life to you?

“I'm not fully sure I even know what this looks like or means at this point.” --- You have that right Sister. This way lies the unsearchable riches of Christ.

“I don't even know who this person that He has for me to be... will be?” --- Right again. You will be astounded. Maybe even say, “Why in the world did I struggle so?” Settling this issue gives space to filled with His Holy Spirit.

Maybe consider this: It is true that “the offering is free will offering.” Yes there is truth in what He means by “count the cost.” Seems to me you have got that picture (that big picture). But, in the hands of the “enemy and self,” there is no end to “counting the cost” as you point out. AND He paid that cost too.

One wonderful thing about your “huge chasm”: It IS a great gulf fixed, whatever side you are on. There is no “back” to go to. What a release and relief!

Now I know you know the Truth of all this. So again, what a joy it is to pray for you, with you!